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Americans: The founding fathers, who wanted us to be able to have guns, would pee through all 8 layers of their pants if they saw what guns were today, amirite?

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@1439553

Goldilocks and the three bears would have turned out a lot different.

Shugahs avatar Shugah No Way +16Reply
@1439553

Imagine if the US army started recruiting trained bears. That'd be so badass.

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@1439794

He is the most popular president for a reason.

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@1439803

I'm no longer surprised that the north won the Civil War.

Honestly, I think the founding fathers would be surprised we're still standing as a nation. I bet they never thought we would have owned as much as we do now. Be as powerful as we are now. Or the technology we have.

We have the freaken technology to blow our own planet up. Scary.

@ashkir Honestly, I think the founding fathers would be surprised we're still standing as a nation. I bet they never...

Trust me, we don't have nearly enough nukes or bombs or weaponry to blow up the planet. Fuck up its surface? Yeah. Blow it up? No.

LamWins avatar LamWin Yeah You Are -1Reply
@LamWin Trust me, we don't have nearly enough nukes or bombs or weaponry to blow up the planet. Fuck up its surface?...

I don't know, I think they'd shit their pants if they knew we had laws saying all races and genders should be treated equally. I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that conversation.

@bellenoir I don't know, I think they'd shit their pants if they knew we had laws saying all races and genders should be...

Actually, that was a hotly debated topic among them ... and was only put off stating slavery was illegal, in order to bring the southern states into the union. Sound familiar? Maybe if they had the "testicular fortitude" then to settle the issue, there wouldn't have been a Civil War less than 100 years later.

theyd shit themselves if they saw nerf guns
"YOU MEAN I CAN SHOOT HIM SQUARE IN THE CHEST AND HE WONT DIE?"
"YEAH. AND THEY DONT MAKE MUCH NOISE, SO YOU CAN HEAR YOUR SOUND EFFECTS!"
"PEW PEW PEW PEW!"

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@1439535

Hello kind sir,

I apologize for making you think that I had come up with an original thought. This is why I posted it anonymously. I didn't make this post to boost my average. I didn't make this post to build my reputation as a funny guy on this site. I made it because this quote made me literally LOL, and I thought it was very clever, so I wanted to share it with the amirite? community. I wrote that the post was by Seth Meyers, since he wrote the joke. I purposely have not commented using my username on this post, nor do I plan on taking credit for this POTD.

I have no problem with borrowing jokes on this site, as long as credit is given. And I gave credit in the username, as well as here: http://amirite.net/501910/1437947

So I hope that we can reconcile in some way, and you'll ultimately forgive me for betraying you.

All my best,
Sad, Unoriginal Excuse for a Person

Anonymous +50Reply
@1439535

Agreed, but his username kind of credits Seth Meyers

@1439535

Wow. That was better than any of my rants! sparkling eyes

FlyingGuineaPigs avatar FlyingGuineaPig Yeah You Are +22Reply
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@1439594

You really aren't, considering that due credit was given by the OP's choice to name himself Seth Meyers, who wrote the quote used in the post.

Anonymous +4Reply
@1439535

In the description for the amirite? app in the Apple app store, it gives examples of great posts to hook buyers. The very first example is just a stolen quote from Demetri Martin

Didn't anyone else notice that the OP is called Seth Myers?

@Chromana Who is he? inb4googleit

Wow, old comment. He's the writer for Saturday Night Live.
Also, if you want to find out more, google it. :)

@Chromana Who is he? inb4googleit

SNL head writer, Weekend Update anchor and avid Boston Red Sox fan.

Post comes from this clip: http://www.hulu.com/watch/20759...utional-corner

He also spoke at the White House Correspondents dinner this year, but was less funny than Obama. YouTube video thumbnail

Anonymous +7Reply

SETHHHH MEYERSSS!!!

Anonymous +16Reply

I laughed soooo hard when he said this! It's so true, though.

@Old joke is old

So? Chuck Norris is old, but he's still a badass!

Inmate_24601s avatar Inmate_24601 Yeah You Are -1Reply
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@swimlax

It took me too long to realize he said "raping your churches, burning your women."

Shugahs avatar Shugah No Way +3Reply

Not really, wait 'till you see the guns we have up here..

Anonymous +8Reply

I think they'd be more upset about blacks no longer being slaves.

Anonymous +6Reply

sigh.....

@pantherfanatic sigh.....

I assume you're sighing for the same reason I am - because the 2nd Amendment and its intention are so often misconstrued and abused.

@pantherfanatic And what exactly do you think the intentions of the 2nd amendment are?

It's intentions are to allow people to protect themselves.
However, I don't think writers intended to have the intentions twisted and abused.

Many gun fanatics seem not to know that we didn't have .. glocks ... when the amendment was written. Or that it intended families to protect themselves with weapons which were simple, at a time where America could be attacked/invaded by Britain at any moment.

We don't exactly live in that moment anymore. Unless you think beer cans are threatening.

What's next?
No repercussions for people who create chaos by shouting "BOMB!" as a joke because of the first amendment which completely protects them?

Anonymous -8Reply
@pantherfanatic sigh.....

Compelling argument.

eldoritos avatar eldorito Yeah You Are +7Reply

I wouldn't imagine their pants having 8 layers.

Anonymous +3Reply

My response to this: http://amirite.net/644182

Thantophobias avatar Thantophobia Yeah You Are +2Reply
@open_mind_open_soul Shameless self-promotion

Actually, I made that post after seeing this. I was about to write it as a comment, but then I thought it would make a good amirite post.

Thantophobias avatar Thantophobia Yeah You Are -4Reply

Seven of those eight layers are Depends.

@DictatorCourtney Seven of those eight layers are Depends.

Actually, only 6 because they feel the need to wear regular underwear over ther Depends because it's "embarrassing".

KirstenAnns avatar KirstenAnn Yeah You Are +8Reply
@KirstenAnn Actually, only 6 because they feel the need to wear regular underwear over ther Depends because it's "embarrassing".

I wuld say 5 then. One for the underwear, another for the pants, and a third for those clothes they use to wear under their pants.

Anonymous +1Reply
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@1440366

Yes, but then he'd also be a murdering bastard.

@1440366

... or just take back some rifles/revolvers from the Civil War.

"You mean I can fire 6 shots without reloading?!?"

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@972273

This is from SNL. Props to Seth.

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@1439506

Pussy wigs? They never taught us about those in history class.

Courage_Wolfs avatar Courage_Wolf Yeah You Are +3Reply

enemy AC130 above!

@The_easter_bunny enemy AC130 above!

i didnt get any eggs this year >:C

Favvkess avatar Favvkes Yeah You Are +4Reply

tis post is stewpid and makes ppl go GAG

I'm not hiding anything in my closet..

Iwannafingeryous avatar Iwannafingeryou Yeah You Are -11Reply
@Iwannafingeryou I'm not hiding anything in my closet..

Same... Except my sexuality... and Narnia.

HastyCroissants avatar HastyCroissant Yeah You Are +93Reply
@HastyCroissant Same... Except my sexuality... and Narnia.

I've got a couple of skeletons in mine. They're wearing little black top hats and I put them out on Halloween.

FlyingGuineaPigs avatar FlyingGuineaPig Yeah You Are +19Reply
@HastyCroissant Same... Except my sexuality... and Narnia.

except Narnia is in a wardrobe not a closet.

Anonymous -11Reply
@except Narnia is in a wardrobe not a closet.

Because the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe was the only Narnia book

@except Narnia is in a wardrobe not a closet.

except the wardrobe is merely an entrance to Narnia and doesn't contain it.

Courage_Wolfs avatar Courage_Wolf Yeah You Are -2Reply
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@1439774

Why do you think I moved to the room downstairs with no closet?

@Iwannafingeryou I'm not hiding anything in my closet..

I'm hiding absolutely nothing in my closet. Except my collection of clocks. The ticking helps me fall asleep. And my collection of hats. Those old-fashioned ones with veils and flowers. I wear them never.

KirstenAnns avatar KirstenAnn Yeah You Are +6Reply
@Iwannafingeryou I'm not hiding anything in my closet..

I'm hiding Jutin Bieber in my closet.

@Lock your closet

Better yet, burn down the closet

Anonymous +8Reply
@Iwannafingeryou I'm not hiding anything in my closet..

Tom Cruise is hiding in my closet. He won't come out.

@Roy Tom Cruise is hiding in my closet. He won't come out.

So I'm gonna get my gun...and I'm gonna cap this bitch!!

Chipss avatar Chips Yeah You Are +8Reply
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