If you wanted to, you'd write a book just so you could say, "I wrote a book", but, you're too lazy. amirite?

Not too lazy.

I write because I like writing, nit because I want bragging rights.

I find it awkward to tell people I've written a book, even though it's not published. It feels pretentious. (So does using the word pretentious, actually.)

I don't know, the guy who wrote "Good Night Moon" probably burnt less calories writing "Good Night Moon" than I do just sitting around.