The barnacle's penis is about twenty times longer than it's body. You're surprised Barney has never made a joke about this on How I Met Your Mother, amirite?

To which Marshall would reply, "Dude, how do you even wear pants?"
Then Lily and and Robin would laugh.
Then Ted would be like "Guys! Seriously!" and then proceed to tell them all about some problem he's having.

He'd only make a comment about it if its boobs were twice the proportional size of its body.

Maybe because he's gay and that would be offensive to himself! My favorite show by the way.

But seriously, he's gay, like he is married to a man!