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How to get over your fear of the dark: As soon as you turn the lights off, start masturbating. No monster wants to see that shit. While doing it, stare at the corner and whisper, tenderly, “this is for you”, amirite?

92%Yeah You Are8%No Way
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This helped me get over my fear of crowded places too.

Truuninjas avatar Truuninja Yeah You Are +517Reply

Fuck this made me laugh so hard

DryTurtles avatar DryTurtle Yeah You Are +195Reply
@DryTurtle Fuck this made me laugh so hard

Same... if you didn't add the word laugh hello smilie

Im_so_bored_so_byes avatar Im_so_bored_so_bye Yeah You Are +679Reply
@DryTurtle Fuck this made me laugh so hard

just read this as "fuck me so hard" lol

Anonymous +9Reply

From FAQs:

How Is The Post Of The Day Chosen?

"The admins choose the post of the day when we see a really good post. Not necessarily a post a lot of people agree with, but one that make you think and demonstrates what amirite is all about. We pick posts that will give a good first impression of the site as that is the first post new visitors see."

I don't know about you, but if I was a new visitor and saw this...

FreeMustacheRidess avatar FreeMustacheRides Yeah You Are +190Reply

I tried this... but my little brother got scared and told my mom. :(

Anonymous +188Reply
@I tried this... but my little brother got scared and told my mom. :(

hmm now i kinda wish i didnt post this anonymously... but i feel as if i wouldnt get as many thumbs up/loves because im a girl. oh welll lmao

Unless your a girl and the monster/ghost is a guy, they would like that.

Anonymous +112Reply

This failed for me, as the thing i was afraid of was a rapist.

I feel like I owe you money or something for this superb-quality post...

Anonymous +102Reply
@I feel like I owe you money or something for this superb-quality post...

I stopped at "I feel like I owe you money" and thought you were gonna say something totally different.
hello smilie

I started and he left, but then Mike Wazowski came back and brought all his work buddies to watch :(

SchrodingersCats avatar SchrodingersCat Yeah You Are +80Reply
@FlyingGuineaPig So, more powerful than laughter, then?

I guess orgasms power Monsters Inc. now...

it's like when we all found out that Barney had a brick of coke in this tail and naked twister and what not.
Childhood turns dirty when puberty strikes...

ಠ_ಠ

SchrodingersCats avatar SchrodingersCat Yeah You Are +132Reply

If I did this I'd be whispering at my sister who I share a room with.

ultispys avatar ultispy Yeah You Are +61Reply
astral_queens avatar astral_queen Yeah You Are +20Reply
@astral_queen *with whom you share a room

"This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put." -Winston Churchill

The line between reasonable syntactic advice and stylistic pedantry can wear thin. Good day, madam.

RudyStephensons avatar RudyStephenson Yeah You Are +21Reply
@RudyStephenson *whom you share a room with.

I knew something sounded wrong!

ultispys avatar ultispy Yeah You Are +6Reply
@ultispy I knew something sounded wrong!

never end a sentence with a preposition my friend.

I don't know. The people who stand in the corner and watch you sleep are the same people who are into watching you touch yourself.

NeonSparklies avatar NeonSparklie Yeah You Are +60Reply

I wonder who would actually do this to get over their fear.

Johnnys avatar Johnny Yeah You Are +57Reply
@Johnny I wonder who would actually do this to get over their fear.

I wouldn't mind giving it a try. But I'm afraid of heights, so I'm gonna feel bad for the poor soul 500 feet below me. Sorry, but that's not bird shit, buddy...

@Johnny I wonder who would actually do this to get over their fear.

I used to be scared of hot girls, so this helped me out a lot.

(I'm lying. I just like to surprise people)

Anonymous +50Reply
@Johnny I wonder who would actually do this to get over their fear.

public speaking is my fear and my teacher didn't appreciate how i presented my project

I usually just carry a automatic shotgun with me and when the lights go off I start screaming and firing all around the room to make sure the monster is dead. Too bad in that process I ended up killing my neighbors kid.

This seems like the porn version of Monsters Inc.

Wow, barely any comments on this POTD.

Then again, it's been POTD for about a minute.

This user has deactivated their account.
@1060971

Haha, I actually refreshed my page and it was 7:00:06, so I felt it was a good opportunity, but by the time I went, made the comment, and typed in the capcha it was 7:01. Haha. This is my first time commenting something like this though, regarding your first paragraph.

Unless it's a horny monster...

Lolitas avatar Lolita Yeah You Are +42Reply

Hahahaha poor scarred monsters

528491s avatar 528491 Yeah You Are +38Reply
@528491 Hahahaha poor scarred monsters

Well... it IS our turn to scare the shit out of 'em. All those terrible, terrible childhood nights....

Oh god. This is one of the few times I can say LOL and mean it.
/approval

This comment was deleted by its author.
Anonymous 0Reply

I do this all except for the whispering tenderly part. I prefer to shout it violently and hysterically.

Holy fucker shit face Dick head.... This is fucking hilarious!!!!!!

inb4 realdizzy says something about french toast

Anonymous +27Reply

What if the monster comes out the closet...

Jonesys avatar Jonesy Yeah You Are +27Reply

this only works until you start hearing a gentle fap fap fap fap fap fap fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap in the corner and someone whispering "thaaaaaank you!"

Anonymous +24Reply

HAHA! I can't remember the last time a homepage made me laugh.

Bro I wish i was the monster ;)

CatMans avatar CatMan Yeah You Are +21Reply

Wait, why is everyone so crazy about this? I thought everyone did this!

I have suddenly changed my mind about my dreams of working for monsters inc.

Charturns avatar Charturn Yeah You Are +15Reply

Pervert Monster: "I've been waiting for this for so long..."

Anonymous +13Reply

I followed your advice, turns out the monster watching me in the dark was Pedobear, this only made things worse :(

I've been doing this for a while, until recently when my Grandfather walked in and asked to join me, in order to defeat his inner fears.

DandyFuzzs avatar DandyFuzz Yeah You Are +12Reply

I tried this at my friends house, he wasn't happy when he found me

Anonymous +12Reply

Hello.

Anonymous +10Reply
@Hello.

<- lol. BUT WHY MUST YOU COMMENT ON THIS ON EVERY POST OF THE DAY????

This comment was deleted by its author.
Anonymous +14Reply
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Anonymous +8Reply
@

Stop.

@Friday_Night_Lights Stop.

<===3 Pointy Penis.

Anonymous +6Reply
@

<=====8

Ehehehehe

I don't know who I would feel bad for..the scared kid or the monster witnessing..

This post is PURE quality!

What if the monster gets turned on by that...

This user has deactivated their account.
@1062019

Probably literally

This user has deactivated their account.
@1062887

Very funny

This user has deactivated their account.
@1062896

In this context-FUNNY. Take the pole out of your arse and cheer up a bit yeah?

What if I was the monster that was in the corner of your room? hello smilie

Iwannafingeryous avatar Iwannafingeryou Yeah You Are +6Reply

This actually made me laugh. Nice job.

Sectumsempras avatar Sectumsempra Yeah You Are +4Reply

hahahahahahaah This made my day,thank you :)

I was afraid of the dentist.

Someone posted this exact thing on Facebook, and then someone took a screenshot of that and put it on Tumblr. Some people.

@PinkSponge Someone posted this exact thing on Facebook, and then someone took a screenshot of that and put it on Tumblr. Some...

Yeah. I saw this on Lamebook as someone's status. I really hope that the person who wrote the
status got it from here by chance, because it would suck annoyingly if this awesome post wasn't original, IMO.

Anonymous 0Reply

Holy shit, this made me so happy, what a quality post!

track_stars avatar track_star Yeah You Are -21Reply

This isn't yours lol. I have seen this so many times online. Try to be more original next time please(:

Go back to MLIA

Anonymous -78Reply
@Joker (comment troll): http://www.amishrakefight.org/gfy/

Dude. My computer just started yelling FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU and my mom's in here. I have learned a valuable lesson today.

Anonymous +6Reply
@Go back to MLIA

(comment troll): FUCK YOU

Anonymous -5Reply
Anonymous