How to get over your fear of the dark: As soon as you turn the lights off, start masturbating. No monster wants to see that shit. While doing it, stare at the corner and whisper, tenderly, “this is for you”, amirite?

Fuck this made me laugh so hard

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Same... if you didn't add the word laugh hello

by Anonymous 14 years ago

just read this as "fuck me so hard" lol

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Been there, heard that.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Hahahaha poor scarred monsters

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Well... it IS our turn to scare the shit out of 'em. All those terrible, terrible childhood nights....

by Anonymous 14 years ago

but, you're a stalker. aren't you supposed to make those "childhood nights" to begin with? hello

by Anonymous 14 years ago

thats bordering the line of pedophilia. I usually start stalking after a bad break up and become the psycho ex. nahh... just joking.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

lol

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Holy fucker shit face Dick head.... This is fucking hilarious!!!!!!

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Holy funner shoot face thingading head.... This is flying hilarious

by Anonymous 14 years ago

*cough*-queer-*cough* *cough**cough**cough* *cough**cough**cough**cough**sees blood**cough**cough** Fuck.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Do you gave a cough? Sounds bad...

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Need a cough drop?

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I hope it's not serious

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Unless your a girl and the monster/ghost is a guy, they would like that.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

or if they are your stalker.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I feel like I owe you money or something for this superb-quality post...

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I stopped at "I feel like I owe you money" and thought you were gonna say something totally different. hello

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I wonder who would actually do this to get over their fear.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I wouldn't mind giving it a try. But I'm afraid of heights, so I'm gonna feel bad for the poor soul 500 feet below me. Sorry, but that's not bird shit, buddy...

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I used to be scared of hot girls, so this helped me out a lot. (I'm lying. I just like to surprise people)

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I'll do it regardless (hell)

by Anonymous 14 years ago

public speaking is my fear and my teacher didn't appreciate how i presented my project

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I tried this... but my little brother got scared and told my mom. :(

by Anonymous 14 years ago

hmm now i kinda wish i didnt post this anonymously... but i feel as if i wouldnt get as many thumbs up/loves because im a girl. oh welll lmao

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Wow, barely any comments on this POTD. Then again, it's been POTD for about a minute.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

This helped me get over my fear of crowded places too.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

(Truuninja):http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtqEknAtyQQ

by Anonymous 14 years ago

This failed for me, as the thing i was afraid of was a rapist.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I was afraid of masturbating... Didn't do much

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Unless it's a horny monster...

by Anonymous 14 years ago

or Pedo Bear...

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I started and he left, but then Mike Wazowski came back and brought all his work buddies to watch :(

by Anonymous 14 years ago

So, more powerful than laughter, then?

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I guess orgasms power Monsters Inc. now... it's like when we all found out that Barney had a brick of coke in this tail and naked twister and what not. Childhood turns dirty when puberty strikes...

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Holy shit, this made me so happy, what a quality post!

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I usually just carry a automatic shotgun with me and when the lights go off I start screaming and firing all around the room to make sure the monster is dead. Too bad in that process I ended up killing my neighbors kid.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

...derp.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

sounds like something that'd happen if the sims had guns...

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I don't know. The people who stand in the corner and watch you sleep are the same people who are into watching you touch yourself.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

inb4 edward cullen

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Hello.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

<- lol. BUT WHY MUST YOU COMMENT ON THIS ON EVERY POST OF THE DAY????

by Anonymous 14 years ago

hi

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Oh god. This is one of the few times I can say LOL and mean it. /approval

by Anonymous 14 years ago

If I did this I'd be whispering at my sister who I share a room with.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

*whom you share a room with.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I knew something sounded wrong!

by Anonymous 14 years ago

never end a sentence with a preposition my friend.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

*with whom you share a room

by Anonymous 14 years ago

"This is the sort of bloody nonsense up with which I will not put." -Winston Churchill The line between reasonable syntactic advice and stylistic pedantry can wear thin. Good day, madam.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

This post is PURE quality!

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Go back to MLIA

by Anonymous 14 years ago

(comment troll): http://www.amishrakefight.org/gfy/

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Dude. My computer just started yelling FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU and my mom's in here. I have learned a valuable lesson today.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

HAHA! I can't remember the last time a homepage made me laugh. Bro I wish i was the monster ;)

by Anonymous 14 years ago

This seems like the porn version of Monsters Inc.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

inb4 realdizzy says something about french toast

by Anonymous 14 years ago

What if the monster comes out the closet...

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I followed your advice, turns out the monster watching me in the dark was Pedobear, this only made things worse :(

by Anonymous 14 years ago

From FAQs: How Is The Post Of The Day Chosen? "The admins choose the post of the day when we see a really good post. Not necessarily a post a lot of people agree with, but one that make you think and demonstrates what amirite is all about. We pick posts that will give a good first impression of the site as that is the first post new visitors see." I don't know about you, but if I was a new visitor and saw this...

by Anonymous 14 years ago

What if the monster gets turned on by that...

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I don't know who I would feel bad for..the scared kid or the monster witnessing..

by Anonymous 14 years ago

What if I was the monster that was in the corner of your room? hello

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Then enjoy the show...

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I definitely would and I'd even help hello

by Anonymous 14 years ago

this only works until you start hearing a gentle *fap fap fap fap fap fap fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap* in the corner and someone whispering "thaaaaaank you!"

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Pervert Monster: "I've been waiting for this for so long..."

by Anonymous 14 years ago

Wait, why is everyone so crazy about this? I thought everyone did this!

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I do this all except for the whispering tenderly part. I prefer to shout it violently and hysterically.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I've been doing this for a while, until recently when my Grandfather walked in and asked to join me, in order to defeat his inner fears.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

This actually made me laugh. Nice job.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

hahahahahahaah This made my day,thank you :)

by Anonymous 14 years ago

This isn't yours lol. I have seen this so many times online. Try to be more original next time please(:

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I only @1062883 (DinosaursAndJetPacks): Best name ever

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I tried this at my friends house, he wasn't happy when he found me

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I have suddenly changed my mind about my dreams of working for monsters inc.

by Anonymous 14 years ago

I was afraid of the dentist.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Someone posted this exact thing on Facebook, and then someone took a screenshot of that and put it on Tumblr. Some people.

by Anonymous 13 years ago