A similar yet fatal fate befell one of my friends. Someone was about to shoot him in the back of his head, and another person shouted "DUCK!" And then, my friend just started quacking.
Moral of the story: Proper, animal-free wording can save lives. Start today.
Haha! So true!! One time, someone accidentally let go of a baseball bat after hitting the ball and it was headed straight for my dad's head..everyone yelled "DUCK, SHANE, DUCK!" and he just looked around frantically and goes "WHERE!?" ....
Or when someone says "Lets go dancing" and you put on your dancing shoes, and wait for them to arrive at your house. But after an hour of waiting they don't show up, so you call them, and it turns out they have a friend named "dancing" and they were asking them to leave the room with them.
Simple. What you do is buy a guinea pig, overfeed it, buy a fairy costume designed for small dogs, squeeze the poor thing into it, hire a bird as the nanny, tell the nanny the guinea pig needs to fly, the nanny will teach, and voila! A flying guinea pig.
It sucks when you ask a guy carrying a sofa if he needs any help with it, and he just rolls his eyes says "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw."
Or when someone says "Give me a break" so you give them a piece of your Kit Kat bar only to find out that they were allergic to chocolate. Then they go into anaphylactic shock and die.
Or you say, "Come fly with me," and you get arrested for impersonating an officer of the law, even though you were never informed of Frank Sinatra's recent joining of the police force.
Can't you say anything else? Can't you surprise us one day and say, "You have done a swell job of choosing today's Post of the Day, Anthony. This is a wonderful example of what amirite is all about. I look forward to tomorrow's Post of the Day, as I'm certain it will be just as impressive, if not even more amazing. Cheers."? Seriously, you have NO flexibility. You must REALLY suck at sex.
Or when someone says "stay with me" so you anesthetize them and sew yourselves together, effectively becoming irreversibly conjoined until someone dies.
Or when someone says, "Fuck my life," then they get pissed that you ruin their cereal. Seriously, everyone at FML are actually just pissed that they've got jizz in their cereal.
Or of course when someone threateningly say's "say/do it again," and you do. Shouldn't they realize that we'll either do what they say or the opposite, whichever is more beneficial or humorous to us. Dumbasses.
It's even more awkward when someone sends you a text saying "Let's sext later" so you do and then they get angry because it was just a typo and now they have picture of you naked on their phone.
A similar yet fatal fate befell one of my friends. Someone was about to shoot him in the back of his head, and another person shouted "DUCK!" And then, my friend just started quacking.
Moral of the story: Proper, animal-free wording can save lives. Start today.
Haha! So true!! One time, someone accidentally let go of a baseball bat after hitting the ball and it was headed straight for my dad's head..everyone yelled "DUCK, SHANE, DUCK!" and he just looked around frantically and goes "WHERE!?" ....
I yelled, "Get down!" and he just started dancing...
Haha. That's a good one.
Or when someone says "Quit being a dick" so you suddenly turn into a vagina.
Or when someone says "Lets go dancing" and you put on your dancing shoes, and wait for them to arrive at your house. But after an hour of waiting they don't show up, so you call them, and it turns out they have a friend named "dancing" and they were asking them to leave the room with them.
Its a stretch, but I tried.
It was almost nonesense.
All we need now is an almost narwhal. I'm thinking a whale with a paper towel tube taped to its forehead.
But how will we get the airborne guinea pig?
Simple. What you do is buy a guinea pig, overfeed it, buy a fairy costume designed for small dogs, squeeze the poor thing into it, hire a bird as the nanny, tell the nanny the guinea pig needs to fly, the nanny will teach, and voila! A flying guinea pig.
Or maybe they just stood you up. But that is a much more likely scenario.
It sucks when you ask a guy carrying a sofa if he needs any help with it, and he just rolls his eyes says "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw."
Then he gets pissed if you actually do it
And then he doesnt even appreciate his new nickname. Torso boy!
Or when someone says "Give me a break" so you give them a piece of your Kit Kat bar only to find out that they were allergic to chocolate. Then they go into anaphylactic shock and die.
It's sucks when someone says "come play with me" and then you get arrested for molestation.
Or when you just say "come with me" and get arrested for sexual harassment.
Or you say, "Come fly with me," and you get arrested for impersonating an officer of the law, even though you were never informed of Frank Sinatra's recent joining of the police force.
Is it sad that I thought of the quest in Fallout before the song?
No, it's cool. I did too :)
\o/
Or when someone says "Fuck me!" but then they call the cops when you take off your pants.
It's also awkward when you go along with it suicidally.
Just grin and bear it.
We have a teacher named Mr. Grimm and mrs. Barrett, and they are pretty hard teachers
We say
... Grim and barrett.
Grin and bear it!
Grin and barrett
Can't you say anything else? Can't you surprise us one day and say, "You have done a swell job of choosing today's Post of the Day, Anthony. This is a wonderful example of what amirite is all about. I look forward to tomorrow's Post of the Day, as I'm certain it will be just as impressive, if not even more amazing. Cheers."? Seriously, you have NO flexibility. You must REALLY suck at sex.
mybe wen thr is a god potd.
Is it me or are the trolls on here getting even more obvious?
We need a professional to show these failures how it's done.
I agree. If we are going to have to put of with trolls, they better at least do it decently.
Or better yet, do it scrantoncity....ly....ish..............scrantoncity was an awesome troll.
Yeah. The trolls of amirite are getting more plentiful, but they are also getting more and more obvious.
You'll be better at sex?
I doubt that'll happen anytime soon. God's posts are mediocre at best.
You're going to hell.
THANKS. THANK YOU FOR SPOILING THE ENDING. Prick.
That's not a relevant reply to my comment.
LOLOL WHO CARES KIMMYS HILARIOUS. AND SEXY :D
Why yes, I do belive that kangaroo's are the epitome of a marsupial
It sucks when someone says to just drop it, and then they yell at you because the contents of your purse are now all over their floor.
Or when someone says "Fucking Shit!" and then they look at you weird when you start pooping there.
Ooh. I always thought they were saying "BARE with me." Talk about awkward, amirite?
Seeing as you are a turkey, it would have been awkward if you stood their growling like a bear anyways.
That's so unbearable, man.
This whole loving every comment on the POTD thing has to stop, amirite?
Who started it?
I believe it was Velociraptor, my anonymous follower.
The whole thumbing up your own comments need to stop. amirite?
I agree.
Or when someone tells you to "stop beating a dead horse" and then next thing you know you're arrested for animal cruelty.
Why would you be arrested if you stopped beating the horse?
Well, you still beat it...
In this post and all the comments, you actually do what the person told you to do. So you'd stop beating the horse.
P_A_F, stop beating a dead horse...
The horse isn't even dead yet.
I hate it when people tell me to beat it, then freak out when I start masturbating.
I hate when somebody says "blow me away" and I get arrested for sexual assault.
It's even more awkward in the spring.
Or when someone says "Bear with me" but Bear Grylls isn't anywhere close to them.
On a completely unrelated topic, Crobat has loved every comment on this page.
seriously crobrat. its not funny...
┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐
Way to be original. Velociraptor totally didn't already do this.
Or when someone says "stay with me" so you anesthetize them and sew yourselves together, effectively becoming irreversibly conjoined until someone dies.
...shutters
reminded me of the human centipede
Or when someone says, "Fuck my life," then they get pissed that you ruin their cereal. Seriously, everyone at FML are actually just pissed that they've got jizz in their cereal.
I hate when people tell me to beat it, then freak out when I start masturbating.
Or of course when someone threateningly say's "say/do it again," and you do. Shouldn't they realize that we'll either do what they say or the opposite, whichever is more beneficial or humorous to us. Dumbasses.
Who's giving out free loves?
These jokes aren't funny guys! When I was small my dad told my annoying brother to "go play in the traffic".
He did and now we visit his grave site every year on his birthday.
Totally true story.
A Pokemon is laughing at my comment
Now my day truly is complete
It's even more awkward when someone sends you a text saying "Let's sext later" so you do and then they get angry because it was just a typo and now they have picture of you naked on their phone.
Awful, I know.
I was going to one up this but it was plus 1234 and I couldn't bring myself to do it.....
Ok I did it, because it changed to plus 1238. I was still upset.
I'm getting a shirt with this on :D
Best. Post. Ever.
We don't talk like that here, you 'average' whore.
Now honey, I know you're hundreds of years old but watch your language!
...Hundreds of years old?
If they didn't know he was alive in the 1950's, I have a hunch they might not know they dropped the bomb just 10 years before that.
I'm glad you liked your shirt Quannax :)
Yeah, really. Because it's a good, funny post. Got an issue with that?