+3,152

It'd be interesting to see statistics of your life after you die. Like, what joke you found the funniest, how many times you smiled, how many times you laughed, how many times you lied, or how many people you loved, amirite?

99%Yeah You Are1%No Way
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The voters have decided that Disco is right! Vote on the post to say if you agree or disagree.

Or how many times I've wanked...

posts as anonymous

Anonymous +115Reply
@Or how many times I've wanked... posts as anonymous

It's over nine THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!

Anonymous +54Reply
@sadly, that number is about right.

Thats once a day for 25 years

Funnyplantss avatar Funnyplants Yeah You Are +39Reply
@I'm 18

well in that case 3 times a day since the age 9 or so ;)

Funnyplantss avatar Funnyplants Yeah You Are +47Reply
@sadly, that number is about right.

Hey, man, that's only sad if it's an addiction that you can't control. Outside of that, as long as it don't interfere with your everyday life, feel free spank away. Anyone who looks down on you for it is a sexually repressed, dogmatic ass that I'd rather not associate with anyway.

How many people glanced at you in your lifetime.

StickCavemans avatar StickCaveman Yeah You Are +114Reply
@StickCaveman How many people glanced at you in your lifetime.

Yeah. Or maybe how many regrets you had...or different people's real opinions about you.

Discos avatar Disco Yeah You Are +94Reply
@Disco Yeah. Or maybe how many regrets you had...or different people's real opinions about you.

My sisters believe that after you die, you hear everything someone has said about you. That's their excuse for yelling at people when they're driving even if the other person can't hear them.

Meagans avatar Meagan Yeah You Are +118Reply
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@1260472

I believe that when you die you can view your own life through the perspective of others.

StickCavemans avatar StickCaveman Yeah You Are +15Reply

How many boners I've caused.

Anonymous +97Reply
@How many boners I've caused.

Or how many boners you've stopped.

IamProbablyaNinjas avatar IamProbablyaNinja Yeah You Are +134Reply

I love that shit, even if it isn't specific to me.
So far I know the average person spends 2 weeks total waiting at stoplights in their life.

mchristies avatar mchristie Yeah You Are +96Reply
@And in DC 5 months

In LA? Freaking eternity.

@And in DC 5 months

been to DC before for a school trip. not bad, but ALOT of coach buses clogging up the roads

Ebony_Ways avatar Ebony_Way Yeah You Are -1Reply
@Ebony_Way been to DC before for a school trip. not bad, but ALOT of coach buses clogging up the roads

Well I lived here for over 14 years and believe me the traffic is horrible. Ive been a lot of places but DC has the worst traffic out of all of them

Anonymous +7Reply
@mchristie I love that shit, even if it isn't specific to me. So far I know the average person spends 2 weeks total waiting at...

In my rural town where I pass ten thousand barns on my 30 minute drive to get to school in the next closest city with civilization? A couple of seconds.

Meandmycats avatar Meandmycat Yeah You Are +47Reply

I think about this all the time. It would be cool to see all your "life records":
-what day you said the most / least words
-Longest time without sleeping/eating
-the most you ever ate in one meal
-the funniest thing you ever said
-the person who liked you the most, and the person that hated you the most
-what songs you listened to the most
-what moment you were the happiest

Anonys avatar Anony Yeah You Are +81Reply
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@1260763

that comment actually made me blush hahahaha

@Anony I think about this all the time. It would be cool to see all your "life records": -what day you said the most /...

You could check which songs you have listen to the most if you listen to music on Windows Media Player or Itunes. It is still limited to songs listened to on the computer, but still it will give you an estimation.

dan94s avatar dan94 Yeah You Are +14Reply
Boufakas avatar Boufaka Yeah You Are +4Reply

How many farts you blamed on someone else.

Juless avatar Jules Yeah You Are +74Reply
@Jules How many farts you blamed on someone else.

How many farts others blamed on you, and how many actually WERE the dog.

FlyingGuineaPigs avatar FlyingGuineaPig Yeah You Are +24Reply

Personally, I'd like to know...
1. Exactly how many atoms have made up my body my entire life
2. How many times my actions have indirectly saved/improved someone's life (butterfly effect and all that)
3. When my first dream was and/or its contents
But that's just me

TYPOs avatar TYPO Yeah You Are +72Reply
@TYPO Personally, I'd like to know... 1. Exactly how many atoms have made up my body my entire life 2. How many times my...

I read this and I thought you said "How many buttons I've pushed," which could actually be kind of interesting.

I think it'd be awesome to watch all of your dreams again and then find out the meaning behind all of them.

laureneli23s avatar laureneli23 Yeah You Are +69Reply

How many times I checked out some guy's butt. y smilie

@orangesocks How many times I checked out some guy's butt.

Or how many times some girl has checked out my butt.

Discos avatar Disco Yeah You Are +78Reply
@Disco Or how many times some girl has checked out my butt.

Isn't there even any point keeping track of an event so scarce as that?

I keed, I keed.

@orangesocks Pshh, I wish I didn't.

but everyone else has one.... stupid eating disorder- i hav no boobies either lolwut smilie

Ebony_Ways avatar Ebony_Way Yeah You Are -2Reply
@Ebony_Way but everyone else has one.... stupid eating disorder- i hav no boobies either

1) if you're serious about the eating disorder, eat some food and you'll put on some boobs :D
2) I have a huge ass and have been laughed at because of it since I was a kid. /insert sob story here/ AND I WAS NEVER THE SAME (cry2)
Yeah, no, but it sucks.

@orangesocks 1) if you're serious about the eating disorder, eat some food and you'll put on some boobs :D 2) I have a huge ass...

I second the ED bit. Get some help!

Also, I can empathize in some ways, my boobs have always been a topic of interest, guy are jerks about it :( But, the odd combination of huge boobs and a small butt has left me NEVER THE SAME.

twisted_memoriess avatar twisted_memories Yeah You Are +11Reply
@orangesocks bitchplz that's a good thing. I wish I had no ass.

Ugh, I wish I had no boobs... They get in the way so much... I wish I had a bigger butt. Actually, I wish I could just evenly distribute the mass from my boobs to my butt so they're both average in size lol.

twisted_memoriess avatar twisted_memories Yeah You Are +17Reply
@twisted_memories Ugh, I wish I had no boobs... They get in the way so much... I wish I had a bigger butt. Actually, I wish I could...

I really hate when people complain about their boobs. d smilie
And I don't know anyone who wants a bigger butt.

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@1260748

Yeah, trying to find a sports bra that even slows them down is a challenge.

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@1260804

My mom bought a treadmill. It's in the basement lol. Best place to workout :)

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@1260833

Yeah, the basement is mine for the summer. When I'm back at shook it's back to the public gym :( I'll just have to be buff by then so I don't care lol.

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@1260874

Hahaha yes, sorry. It's my first iTouch. School*

@1260748

At least boobs are attractive. I'd rather have boobs over a butt any day. A big butt just makes you look fat, and gives you gross legs. Plus, according to my friends I already dress like a slut. lolwut smilie I just think that I'd be stubborn enough to find a way to make it work for me, but it's not like I want some huge boobs, I'd just rather ones that are legitimately (to butcher the word's meaning) there.

@1260748

Don't forget the swimsuit issue, finding tops that actually give you support...

@twisted_memories Well, if you had huge boobs you'd understand? I want a bigger butt :(

Great, post of the day. inb4 creepers comment on my saying I had a big bu--too late.
Having a big butt isn't fun. n smilie I like how people vote down me saying that I don't want my butt. You can tell they have no butts. Misinformed, jealous people. no smilie

@orangesocks Great, post of the day. inb4 creepers comment on my saying I had a big bu--too late. Having a big butt isn't fun...

I didn't vote you down. :) I do wish I had more of a butt though, perhaps the stairmaster will help?

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@1261584

I don't care if some perv likes my butt, I'm not going to be in a relationship that revolves around my butt lol. Plus, I care more about the fact that I don't like it than if anyone else does.

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@1261608

OK I GET THAT YOU GET WHAT I MEAN. Gosh. baha

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@1261644

It's koo', mine does that as well.

@orangesocks 1) if you're serious about the eating disorder, eat some food and you'll put on some boobs :D 2) I have a huge ass...

Gahhh...I have a HUGE ass too and I hate it when skinny girls get mad when I complain about it...it's really hard to find cute clothes that look good and fit right. I love skinny jeans but my legs are a size 1 and my butt is a size 5.

@Moosey Gahhh...I have a HUGE ass too and I hate it when skinny girls get mad when I complain about it...it's really hard...

THANK YOU. I honestly don't know why skinny girls get mad about complaining about this... I'd give anything to have a cute frikn tiny ass rather than this. :| Nothing ever looks or fits how it should. no smilie The upper half of me is fine, but if you saw just the lower half you'd think I was some lazy fatso probably.

@actbadlookgood haha definitely!

becomes self conscious of ass

Big_Bosss avatar Big_Boss Yeah You Are +74Reply
@Big_Boss becomes self conscious of ass

Don't worry, cute asses are very rare. It's just a matter of making sure it's not COMPLETELY hideous.

Big_Bosss avatar Big_Boss Yeah You Are +22Reply
@Big_Boss I don't even know what a hideous ass looks like (besides from it being too big)

It's just....I don't know...it's an intuitive thing I guess. A lot fo the time it depends on what jeans they're wearing.

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@1260732

That is...interesting.

I thought it was only guys who did that :/

Big_Bosss avatar Big_Boss Yeah You Are +6Reply
@orangesocks How many times I checked out some guy's butt.

I know this thread is old, but as a girl, I've checked out guys' butts before.
Plenty of times... hello smilie

Anonymous +1Reply

And your K/D ratio

@Theguyinthebasement And your K/D ratio

Mine's amazing. I even go out with a headshot on myself

Adolf__Hitlers avatar Adolf__Hitler Yeah You Are +83Reply
Anonymous +28Reply

the percentage of time we were right.

oh wait we can do that!

SamGs avatar SamG Yeah You Are +62Reply
@Eminna

alright fine. we all make our stupid jokes now & then

SamGs avatar SamG Yeah You Are +17Reply
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@1260530

That one was kind of funny. I smiled a bit...

Axolotls avatar Axolotl Yeah You Are +5Reply
SamGs avatar SamG Yeah You Are 0Reply

How many lives you touched.

Juless avatar Jules Yeah You Are +57Reply
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@1227418

Or how many kid's I'VE touched!

@1227418

Okay Creepo

Juless avatar Jules Yeah You Are +13Reply
@1227418

Leave the kid touching to me

Anonymous -20Reply
@Leave the kid touching to me

(Bad ass Pedobear): Fucking low life

or how many tests you didn't study for and still did well on, and how many hours you spent on the internet or playing sports.

elizabeth216s avatar elizabeth216 Yeah You Are +56Reply
@elizabeth216 or how many tests you didn't study for and still did well on, and how many hours you spent on the internet or...

I don't think I'd want to know how many hours I spent on the internet. It'd be kind of depressing.

sansas avatar sansa Yeah You Are +129Reply

I always think this! When you were happiest, when you were in the most pain, when you were most angry, scared etc

Then there needs to be a way for immortals to check their statistics.

Warshons avatar Warshon Yeah You Are +41Reply

who was the saddest when i died maybe.

I'd want to know all of that, plus everything anyone has ever said about me and when.

I'd want to know how much money I spent on clothes, food, etc, and the things I did that could've majorly impacted something else, as well as knowing how many people cried when I died.

Eminnas avatar Eminna Yeah You Are +33Reply
@Eminna I'd want to know how much money I spent on clothes, food, etc, and the things I did that could've majorly impacted...

I would NOT want to know how much I spent on food and clothes wary smilie. The latter would be good to know though.

528491s avatar 528491 Yeah You Are +6Reply

What percentage of math that you've learned in school and actually applied in real life.

Lucis avatar Luci Yeah You Are +32Reply

I'd like to find out how many "illegal" things I've done.

Anonymous +29Reply
@I'd like to find out how many "illegal" things I've done.

I've done 9 different illegal things but I'm not sure exactly how many times I've done each. . .

528491s avatar 528491 Yeah You Are +3Reply
@IamProbablyaNinja Like? :)

Vandalism
stealing
underage drinking
riding a bike on the sidewalk(apparently that's illegal)
marijuana related

I'm forgetting the rest

528491s avatar 528491 Yeah You Are +3Reply
@wowo u so cool, i totes want a babe like you. /s

I'm not trying to sound cool I was saying the opposite because I've done so few illegal things that I can remember them all

528491s avatar 528491 Yeah You Are 0Reply

that would be awesome but kind of long but still awesome because it might take some time to die and go to heaven or where ever your religion takes you

stepdoms avatar stepdom Yeah You Are +28Reply
stepdoms avatar stepdom Yeah You Are +28Reply
@stepdom I don't like offending people's religion

ono smilie This isn't offensive. It's impossible for all religions to be true, and even people in the religions believe so. Maybe you meant that it would take a while to die, or to go wherever you believe [by your religion] you'll go.

I'm not saying anything against religion in either this or the previous comment. I'm saying that merely believing that X will happen does not mean X will happen to you and all who believe in it, and therefore atheists won't just die, Christians won't just go to heaven/hell and Hindus won't just reincarnate; everyone will face the exact same truth that happens, whichever one of those that is.

@Nacklefoodle This isn't offensive. It's impossible for all religions to be true, and even people in the religions believe...

How do you know? Have you died? Things that we wouldn't believe on Earth could possibly happen after death (like everyone going where they believe they will go). There is no way to tell and that's why there are so many different beliefs.

Nicks avatar Nick Yeah You Are +3Reply
@Nick How do you know? Have you died? Things that we wouldn't believe on Earth could possibly happen after death (like...

Well for one, thinking of something does not do anything whatsoever to or about that one thing. Believing something is just a certain arrangement of chemicals in your brain, and something that small couldn't possible affect something so great as your entire death. Besides, each religion is believing things like "Everyone who believes [and behaves well] in this religion is going to __ place, and everyone who doesn't, or doesn't behave well is going to __." So would that mean everyone would go to the better place, and no one would go to the hell of their religion because in some other possible religion in the world they were a good person? This way EVERYONE would be good! And if someone hadn't even known of death and believed they'd live forever what would happen? There are just too many flaws in this theory for it to work.
Sure, any one religion could be true, but all religions being true is just impossible.

@Nacklefoodle Lol where you go depends on where you believe you'll go?

That would be pretty cool if that's how it actually went down; if all the religons where right and you went where ever you believed you were going after death. Then we'd all feel pretty silly for fighting about it this whole time.

Monintos avatar Moninto Yeah You Are +5Reply

I just want to know how many times I touched my doorknob.

Stwentytwos avatar Stwentytwo Yeah You Are +27Reply

How much time you spend on the crapper, or how many books you've read, movies seen, etc. Oh and how many people worshiped you too.

God_the_Almightys avatar God_the_Almighty Yeah You Are +27Reply

or physical stuff like, how much food you've eaten, how much water you drank, etc

The person you hated the most
The day you were happiest
The person who was totally in love with you
How many "OH MY GOD SHE IS SOOOOO HOT"s I've gotten
How many times I've said to myself "get out of the way!"
And how many gallons of pee I've peed

But you know... thats just me.

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@1261595

Yup. Interesting story actually...

How long was my longest piss.

Hey_Theres avatar Hey_There Yeah You Are +23Reply

How many steps you took

Lemonlimes249s avatar Lemonlimes249 Yeah You Are +22Reply
@Lemonlimes249 How many steps you took

better yet have a kid and when they learn to walk attach a pedometer somewhere on them

Anonymous +28Reply

The amount of time you spent procrastinating.
How much time you've wasted on this site.
The stupidest thing you've done.
I did this thing on facebook once and it told you the top 10 words that you said the most in your statuses. I think it would be cool if they did that only the top 10 words you've used the most in your life.

Cydonias avatar Cydonia Yeah You Are +20Reply
@Cydonia The amount of time you spent procrastinating. How much time you've wasted on this site. The stupidest thing you've...

Those first two would be pretty much the same for me. Also, that last one would be mundane words like "the" and "and".

Axolotls avatar Axolotl Yeah You Are +5Reply

I'd like to go back and see myself when I was born, and myself when I was little
-The food I ate the most
-How many times I cried
-My favorite moment
-My most listened to song
-And how many people's lives I've impacted.

how many days you spent watching useless videos on YouTube haha

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@1260819

Shameless self promotion. y smilie

Axolotls avatar Axolotl Yeah You Are +18Reply
@Hpisfrickingawesome how many days you spent watching useless videos on YouTube haha

My little sister's reaction to "my jeans" YouTube video thumbnail

shameless self promotion

528491s avatar 528491 Yeah You Are +3Reply
@528491 My little sister's reaction to "my jeans" shameless self promotion

Everyone is promoting themselves without shame, so here's a video about me! YouTube video thumbnail

Axolotls avatar Axolotl Yeah You Are +6Reply
@528491 My little sister's reaction to "my jeans" shameless self promotion

haha I must say.. this comment got to watching even more random videos haha :) but I enjoyed them

@Hpisfrickingawesome how many days you spent watching useless videos on YouTube haha

i don't know about polarthebear, but I highly doubt my video of beating the crap out of a leaf qualifies as useless...posts link for more shameless self promotion YouTube video thumbnail

Sergs avatar Serg Yeah You Are +2Reply
@Serg i don't know about polarthebear, but I highly doubt my video of beating the crap out of a leaf qualifies as...

haha yah I agree those aren't useless.. but yesterday after a few hours on YouTube.. I found myself watching a video about internet safety.. haha the video was basically about a 10 year old who gave a pedo her address talk about random

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@1261045

OMG IT'S HITLER? I THOUGHT YOU KILLED YOURSELF!!!?!

@1261045

link doesnt work for me d smilie

Sergs avatar Serg Yeah You Are 0Reply

or how many times someone had a crush on you

How much money you've spent on food..how many texts sent

@candito How much money you've spent on food..how many texts sent

I wouldn't want to see the number of texts I've sent... I'm pretty sure it's in the millions somewhere

@candito How much money you've spent on food..how many texts sent

@1260567 (candito): You can check your phone bill to see that. It might take awhile to add up all the months but it's possible. Btw my record is 55k in one month.

528491s avatar 528491 Yeah You Are +2Reply
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@1262044

(Chromana):It was one July and I was literally texting 6/7 people nonstop all day. I do not lie. Plus that's counting the received messages also.

528491s avatar 528491 Yeah You Are +1Reply
@528491 @1260567 (candito): You can check your phone bill to see that. It might take awhile to add up all the months but...

Mine was somewhere up there too, and that was before I had unlimited texting so my mom made me pay for the bill. I was like d smilie

AnnDeevas avatar AnnDeeva Yeah You Are +4Reply
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@1260772

And _xl_5150-_xl_5175

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@1260794

Right. I re-read it. But seriously, that guy needs to get a life. Also, he's getting to buy himself a POTD, possibly.

How many times you've had an open wound and not bandaged it, tsk tsk!

or how many times you died......

Anonymous +11Reply
@or how many times you died......

I like how someone posted the same thing and got -6.. and you got +7. :)

I'd like to know how many times I've blinked.

Retoosers avatar Retooser Yeah You Are +10Reply
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@1261600

is commenting twice your "thing"?

Sergs avatar Serg Yeah You Are +5Reply

How many times I've brushed my teeth/taken a shower/ how many times I've thrown a piece of artwork away, how many times I've eaten at Taco bell, the number of tacos I've eaten in my life, how many times I've flipped a lightswitch, how many hours I've spent at school, the number of friends I've had, how many hours I've spent sleeping, and etc.

I'd really want to know how many people I made eye-contact with.

GabbyGirlie815s avatar GabbyGirlie815 Yeah You Are +9Reply

I think of this so much :P
but also if you can see your most painfull fall in slow motion or something like that :)

or how many times you said lol in a text or on chat

Or how many grains of rice you ate.

yesyouarerites avatar yesyouarerite Yeah You Are +6Reply
@yesyouarerite Or how many grains of rice you ate.

It'd only be significant if you were an avid rice eater or Asian.

Eminnas avatar Eminna Yeah You Are +8Reply
@Eminna It'd only be significant if you were an avid rice eater or Asian.

Not necessarily. I'm not asain but I know i've eaten a lot of rice in my lifetime so far.

yesyouarerites avatar yesyouarerite Yeah You Are +1Reply
@yesyouarerite Not necessarily. I'm not asain but I know i've eaten a lot of rice in my lifetime so far.

It's a good thing you're not asain, because I was referring to people who are Asian.

Eminnas avatar Eminna Yeah You Are +1Reply
@Eminna It's a good thing you're not asain, because I was referring to people who are Asian.

You said it would only be significant if you were an avid rice eater OR asian. And it is significant for me but I am NOT Asian. Are you really that stupid?

yesyouarerites avatar yesyouarerite Yeah You Are 0Reply
@Eminna Are YOU really that stupid? You misspelled Asian, so I made it into a joke.

I accidentally swapped the i and the a. Man I'm so illiterate. Seriously? I'm on my phone cut me some slack troll.

yesyouarerites avatar yesyouarerite Yeah You Are +3Reply
@yesyouarerite I accidentally swapped the i and the a. Man I'm so illiterate. Seriously? I'm on my phone cut me some slack troll.

I never said you were illiterate and I'm not a troll. Way to take things too seriously, though.

Eminnas avatar Eminna Yeah You Are 0Reply

The average of every test you have taken your whole life. BTW, this is an insightful and great POTD

_Jojo_s avatar _Jojo_ Yeah You Are +6Reply

The average of every test you have taken your whole life. BTW, this is an insightful and great POTD

_Jojo_s avatar _Jojo_ Yeah You Are +6Reply

How much you've jizzed, in litres.

Anonymous +5Reply

The number of people you ever spoke to, and how many of them you kept contact with.

Georginalices avatar Georginalice Yeah You Are +4Reply
@Georginalice The number of people you ever spoke to, and how many of them you kept contact with.

And how many times you've done something awesome when there's no one around to see it.

Georginalices avatar Georginalice Yeah You Are +4Reply

Now I'm sad that I wont get to see these statistics when I die :(

AshleyDiedrichs avatar AshleyDiedrich Yeah You Are +4Reply

-How many times you swore
-How many dreams you had
-How many times you made a post or comment under "Anonymous"
-How many times you cried over something stupid
-How many books you read
-How many good grades you got
-How many times you facepalmed
^I'm sure there's more interesting statistics to see, but the above is just what I'd want to see.

Snapewards avatar Snapeward Yeah You Are +3Reply

Why would anyone even say no to this??

AshleyDiedrichs avatar AshleyDiedrich Yeah You Are -5Reply
@AshleyDiedrich Why would anyone even say no to this??

because sometimes ignorance is bliss, maybe they didn't want to know hoe many people hated them, how many times they cried, etc.

528491s avatar 528491 Yeah You Are +8Reply

Or how many times you died..... oh wait.....

Anonymous -7Reply

HECK NO.

We are not just a statistic. Looking at the statistics of our life would take away everything that means anything to us- as humans. As living human beings, and I can't stress that enough. There is nothing more depressing than seeing your life as a series of numbers. Let it be. We see enough of that already. Stop.

Noons avatar Noon No Way -26Reply
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@1261708

lol, says polarthebear. Hypocrisy at its best.

@Noon HECK NO. We are not just a statistic. Looking at the statistics of our life would take away everything that means...

It wouldn't take away anything. LOL. If anything, it'd give us even more knowledge about ourselves and the things we've accomplished throughout our lives.

Eminnas avatar Eminna Yeah You Are +8Reply

Except for the part where you're dead and wont be able to see any of the statistics........

@LeeOwl Except for the part where you're dead and wont be able to see any of the statistics........

No, you see, it doesn't work like that. What actually happens is as soon as you die, you're reborn in another body. Jesus then goes and takes the statistics to the parents and they save it until you turn 18. Upon that date, the give it to you, and you get to find out all the information in your past life, thus gaining more knowledge than you would acquire in a single life, building more and more knowedge forever.
And that, LeeOwl, is why grown-ups are so smart.

And this makes me wonder how many people I've insulted over the internet.

@LeeOwl Except for the part where you're dead and wont be able to see any of the statistics........

Are you trying to get people pissed off at you? He was saying it would be cool if it happened, although I do believe in life after death. Y u no understand?

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