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Also about friends, read, and bible
+153You usually think priests sleep at the church, read the bible all day, are friends with other priests, and are banned from having social lives, amirite?
I would have read the Bible if my friend hadn't ruined the ending for me. It was Judas.
Fuck him,he bullied my only son.
Hahahah. This made me laugh and I'm Catholic.
This made me laugh and I'm God.
I wholeheartedly agree with it and I'm Catholic :D
BIBLE=Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth
(This is a good post, and I'm not trying to be really picky and find minor problems) but, really only 4 chapters talk about the life of Jesus. Those 4 are the "Gospel."
the "and Friends" could be talking about the people on the other books. Moses, Noah, Daniel, King David, etc. are all his friends too.
Touche.
still a good point though, only .06% of the bible is Jesus' life.
Yeah, but that .06% of the Bible is an extremely crucial part, because it redefines everything that was stated before, and defines everything stated afterward.
Yes, just 4 chapters: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. But, really, most of the stories in one chapter is in the other 3 chapters, all 4 chapters tell very similar stories.
Or if it had a more up-to-date translation.
Yo dawg, so den, Jesus was all up like, turning dat water into beer, and his decipals were like, "YEA-YA, PARTY UP IN HERRRRE!"
aww yeah, and some lepers and shit.
So den, dees Romans were all like. "Yo. Stop." and Jesus was like, "lol no." so they stapled him to dis "t," and his friends were like, "well damn." then, like 3 days later, he goes all zombie shit on us! He's like, "lol, dude i was dead yesterday. But now im not." Iwazz like we were trippin pretty hard dude.
The NIV, New Living Translation, The Message, Contemporary English Version, and Contemporary Bible are all very easy to comprehend, no "thou, thee thy".
also children's illustrated bibles. But the more common ones still are pretty archaic to keep the feel of it. While it makes sense, most people just don't have patience with that
The most commonly used version I've seen is NIV.
Well, considering the Bible is the best selling book of all time, I don't think you need to worry about Bible sales xD
(your mother's vagina): It's also the most shop-lifted book. Irony at it's best.
If you just reworded that comment a tiny bit, I think you could turn it into a good Amirite? post!
Jesus Christ and the Resurrection Cross.
Or if it was a rap to the beat of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song.
"In a stable in Jerusalem, born and raised
In the churchyard was where I spent most of my days
Chillin out max and relaxin all cool
And all preachin the gospel to some dudes in the pews
When the king named Caesar, who was up to no good
Started getting jealous of a baby boy
He started killing the babies, and my mom got scared
She said 'You're moving to Egypt with your father and I'
I waited for my camel, and when it got near, its humps were all lopsided it had some lice in its hair
If anything I could say that this thing was gross
But I thought, "Ah, forget it, go fast, to Egypt'
I pulled up to Egypt at 7 or 8 I yelled to King Caesar "HAHA see you later"
I looked at my kingdom, I was finally safe,took a seat on my throne, I was king of the world!"
Am I alone thinking 'The Adventures of Jesus and Friends' would be more appealing to kids?
No, it almost sounds like a comic book title.
There is a comic book version of bible, you know.
Nice stealing of GR.
I was sent by amiwrong (;
That's a really cute name for some reason! :)
Repeat from Grouchy Rabbit.