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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone?
He was hit by a truck.
That's my favorite!
Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? She was holding the boy's hand.
A man walks into a bar.
His alcoholism is ruining his family.
A horse walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Why the long face?"
He says, "My wife has terminal cancer."
A horse walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Why the long face?"
The horse did not reply because horses can't talk.
Y are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication
Why is six afraid of seven?
Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness.
Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.
That was fantastic.
You need to write a book.
Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave fights back tears as he realizes his grandmothers alzheimers is getting worse
@1303594 (polarlarlarlar_bare): You're so gay, you have gay sex with people. And LIKE it.
*sex with men.
Anti joke fail.
(Anon:)): Well I didn't know if the person was a boy or girl, so I just put people.
What's green and has wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.
What did the orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Why was six afraid of seven?
It wasn't. Numbers are insentient and cannot experience fear.
knock knock
who's there?
to
to who?
to whom.
http://www.amirite.net/540605/1117145
There's a black man, a homosexual, and a Jew standing at a bar. What a great example of an integrated community.
Wasn't that on family guy?
I actually don't know. It's possible?
"You know what's worse than wet socks?
Genocide."
I love those replies.
"OMG WHAT COULD BE WORSE THAN MY PHONE RUNNING OUT OF BATTERY ARGHHH!@$"
"The holocaust"
I like how this has turned into an anti-joke contest.
Yo momma is so ugly, she often finds it difficult to attract members of the opposite sex.
An Irish man walks out of a bar.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Those lucky dyslexics! Getting away with things no one else would.
Nevermind, I get it. But it doesn't mean it isn't funny :3
Yeah I know, but it doesn't mean it's not funny.
Sorry.
lol, it's fine :P
How?
Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.
How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an ax.
What's red and smells like blue paint? RED PAINT!
Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Because it would not be financially viable to attempt to sell pharmaceuticals in the largely unpopulated rainforest.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.
What's worse than finding an apple in your worm? The Holocaust.
May God forbid the day I find an apple in my worm.
Ya never know...
"apple in your worm"
What do you call a black man flying a plane?
a pilot :/
Ahhh, this actually made me laugh. I probably looked like an idiot laughing at the computer.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have a gun
Get in the van
that doesn't rhyme.
neither do you.
I don't get it...
roses are red
violets are BLUE
i have a gun
get in the van
that doesn't rhyme
and neither do YOU
(Some_Dude):teamwork.
still, lol it's pretty off cause there are too many nonrhyming lines in between.
What's worse than standing in line at Walmart?
Being raped.
What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever shit you were buying at Walmart?
Finding out you're pregnant with a rape baby.
A man walks into a bar when his friend shouts "DUCK!" too late.
(Chauncy Pickles): Dip, Dive, Dodge, and Duck again!
No. It's Dodge, Dip, Duck, Dive, and, um, dodge.
But he started with duck! So you have to end with duck, isn't that how it works?
I thought you ended with goose. And then the person you picked as goose has to chase you.
I just understood that saying.
Why do Mexicans have tamales on Christmas?
Because it's a tradition.
How do you make a plumber cry?
You kill all of his family
I read anti jokes with my poker face on.
so does lady gaga
How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Usually One. It depends where the light bulb is located. But mostly just one.
why did the little boy cry when he sat on santa's lap?
santas boner reminded him of his rapist father.
I'm going to hell for laughing at all of these.
knock, knock.
who's there?
not susie.
why did susie fall of the swing?
Because she had no arms.
What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff?
They were my friends.
I agree. You can't really have an anti-joke of the bar-type jokes
How did she find this bar? Was it recommended by someone? Why a drink?
I like how all the comments on this post are so unoriginal. Anti jokes used to be funny but then everyone went around and told the SAME ONES over and over that now their just lame.
Oh wow that's not like me to get that wrong. Thanks for correcting me.
And just to prove my point, how many of these were said in the comments? Almost all of them were copied I can bet. http://anti-joke.com/
Or you know, people could have used these funny little things called their brains to remember anti-jokes that they found funny and posted them in the comments so that like-minded individuals could enjoy them too. But that's just a theory. :/
You're very condescending.
You're very observant.
On a side note, my friends tell me I'm very sarcastic, but I don't believe them.
Wow, you are such a bitch.
If you can't win an argument, just insult them, eh?