Mary: "Steve, go to your room. You're grounded."
Steve: "But mom, Jesus started it! Why doesn't he ever get in trouble?
Joseph: "Steve, listen to your mother. Go to your room."
Steve: Under Breath "God, is Jesus like perfect or something?"
Eavesdropping on your Son's daily life, I see.
Once omniscient God always omniscient.
"Mom, mom, I just made wine!" "And how did you do that?" Well, I stepped on it with my feet, and --" "Well, your brother made it from WATER!!"
Why does everyone think Christ was Jesus' last name?
It's a joke.
Some people do, but I'm pretty sure this was a joke.
Christ is Greek for "the anointed one"
he did have siblings that were younger.
Exactley and this is why people don't know about them ;)
It depends what you believe in.
actually it doesnt matter what religion you believe in because there are records that jesus did have siblings.
Judas was his brother? Awkward.
lots of people were named judas back then...
He did have a brother named James, so at least one.
That doesn't mean brothers and sisters in the literal sense. Jesus and the Bible refer to his followers as brothers and sisters quite frequently.
There was passage where Jesus was told his mom and brothers were looking for him, then he had to differentiate betwen his true brothers (his spiritual brothers) and his other brotherss(his blood brothers). At least that's how I read the passage.
Yeah but think of all the hand-me-downs. You'd be pretty much set on robes and sandals.
Imagine being Anthony's younger brother, I mean he's always right, how do you compete with that?
As of right now, Anthony is only right 93% of the time.
Gotta love those little powder packets.
You don't. Just a mere shadow for eternity muahahaha.
Now Jesus, be nice!
Says the RobotDevil..
The power of Christ compels! Begone you demon and release that innocent robot! The power of Christ compels you!
Don't be tellin my son what to do. Jesus does what he wants, and you're just gonna have to learn to like it.
"Mom, look at the painting I made you!"
"Well, your brother came back from the dead, walked on water, turned water to wine, and healed the sick. Try harder."
"Mom, why is Jesus' birthday always so special? Like everybody celebrates it. So unfair."
I could keep these comin all day
Only because you eavesdrop on the conversation
Already been said dude. ---->(@1314297 )
Shit. Well, you've presented a multiple opportunity.
I guess that's true.
He did have brothers and sisters. Mary was a virgin at the time of Jesus birth not her entire life.
we don't know that for a fact. people say that the angel Gabriel told mary she was pregnant, but if you connect the dots, it's obvious that Gabriel actually knocked mary up, much to joseph's chagrin.
Are you fucking retarded? I mean, it is true that Mary probably did get knocked up and did lie about it to cover up her shame, but, An angel could not have knocked her up mainly because angels don't exist and the bible doesn't even say that to begin with.
that comment was a prime example of sarcasm going totally wrong. learn from my mistake.
Sorry man, misplaced trolling.
WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN
This explains so much...
Does this mean you stole all your jokes from God?
Lol he did have younger brothers and sisters.
John the baptist was not his brother.
yeah he did but all the people that voted yya are probably all atheits.
Are you saying religious people can't take a joke?
I would date Jesus's sister.
"Hey Jesus, I know you're dying on that cross and all, but guess who fucked your sister last night! Oh yeah!"
My youth pastor mentioned something like this in his talk last week.
James, the brother of Jesus. Imagine that:
"James, why can't you be more like Jesus?"
stunned look "He's GOD!"
Ok! Everyone has a right to their own beliefs...this post was supposed to be a joke. Anyway since I'm doing this I'll express my belief and see if any of you religion experts challenge it!!! AHH!
Mary was a virgin.
John was Jesus' cousin, son of Elizabeth who was Mary's aunt.
Jesus refers to his friends as "brothers" in reference to the fact that we're all brothers and sisters in Christ and through God being our orignal creater, we are all somehow related through Him.
And I suppose I'll end this shit with an AMEN!!!!
SO HAVE AT IT PPL!!! Express your beliefs! Challenge THAT!!!!!!
I DARE YOU!
Mathew 1:25 please explain why it says that Joseph didn't consumate the marriange until Jesus was born. If she stayed a virgin it would say that he didn't at all.
This is true, but Jesus did have literal younger siblings.
I will give it to you that Jesus does refer to others as 'brethren' figuratively. But, in Mark 6:3 it says "the Son of Mary, the Brother of James, and Joses, and of Juda, and Simon" and Mark 15: 40: "Mary the mother of James the less and of Joses, and Salome"
Correct and it would also refer to Jesus as Mary's only son instead of firstborn.
That's what I was thinking...
Being raised Muslim (i.e. not under any significant Christian influences), I am no authority on Christianity. However, being Chauncy Pickles, I am an authority on language. Best of luck resolving your religious dispute. Signed, Chauncy Pickles. P.S. I would've skipped lines and maybe thrown in a few pointless cedillas, but I am commenting from a simple phone right now. To compensate, here is a vertical line that I am not familiar enough to label by name: |
(Chauncy Pickles): What the heck is that little thing called?
Oh, it's the Vertical Bar.
Google searching is more popularly known as Googling. I commend you for taking the underground approach.
The "Section Symbol"
I will admit, it was hard for me to find that. I had to google like five different things... about three minutes to find it. Which is like a year in Google time.
this shit's legit
It's just like a blind and deaf person trying to live up into the shadows of Helen Keller. It's impossible.
Jesus is killed "Yes! Now I can finally show the world that I'm just as good as that show off!"
Jesus rises from the dead "FFFFFFUUUUUUUU"
Mom: so what did you do at school today?
Billy: I made you a macaroni necklace!
Jesus: I made wine from water. Fuckyeah.
Well you all can continue your conversation. Meanwhile, "Hi! I'm Muslim and don't have much to contribute."
There's a song about this
Jesus' brother Bob
Modern Psychology suggests that a younger sibling who is shadowed by an achieving older sibling tends to be rebellious in order to get the same attention that the older one receives, but in a different manner.
Therefore, the ANTICHRIST!
Ha! Living in the shadow of Jesus! I do that in my sleep. Please.
Try living in my shadow for once. That would suck.
Well, technically, we're all his brothers and sisters, because we're all sons of God, but then again, Jesus is kinda part of God, and yeah.. I confused myself.. AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure John the Baptist was Jesus' cousin.
Then why does it say that he was the son of Alpheaus and Mary of Clopas?
I don't think that literally means brothers, as in the same parent(s). Mary kept her virginity throughout her whole life, and James's father is Alphaeus, who is not Joseph. James's mother, Mary of Clopas, is not the Mary who gave birth to Jesus.
It's taught in the Catholic Church that Mary kept her virginity throughout the remainder of her life. It doesn't mention anywhere in the Bible of Mary giving birth to any other children, and like I said above, they could be sons of Joseph in a previous marriage, or the cousins of Jesus.
marry had many more children than Jesus through Joseph.
No, she didn't. She kept her perpetual virginity.
Look it up.
ok. Well you must know the bible better than me. (doubtful) can you tell me where it says this? Because it says that Joseph didn't consumate the marriage (they didn't have sex) until after Jesus was born. Until meaning that afterward they did it (;)) Mathew 1:25 also Jesus did have I believe 12 siblings. (I could be wrong) 2 of his brothers did write books of the Bible James and John.
Your smiley face has a double chin.
But John baptized Jesus, and recognized him as the Messiah. Although many times in the Bible Jesus is said to have "brothers", they either refer to close family members or sons of Joseph, not Mary.
I'm pretty sure Joseph didn't have kids, but you are right. In the Bible they refer to all family members and close friends as brothers. The initial meaning was skewed in translation.
Nobody is really sure of whether Joseph had kids in a previous marriage or not. It's been debated on whether they were just cousins (as Catholicism states) or if Joseph was a widower who had children.
@1305519 (Anonymous): I'm sorry, I meant to write James, who was Jesus' half-brother. My bad.
Lol fanfiction at it's best
Craig don't give a damn.
Honey badger don't give a shit
hardly ever mentioned?
...ever heard of the Book of James, written by James, brother of Jesus?
From the looks of it, you failed Catholic school.
Jesus had siblings
Btw - according to the Bible, James from the book of James was Jesus' brother. He's in the NT way at the end.
Jesus had a biological brother named John who was the son of Mary and Joseph after Jesus was already born. So, yeah Jesus did have a little brother, who was also one of his disciples.
Wait wait wait. I think you have the wrong John.
no there were 2 john's in the bible. John the baptist and Jesus' brother.
Right.. so Jesus' brother John was NOT his disciple as kc12356 said.
He had at least 5 siblings: Simon, James and Joses. THe bible also mentions him having sisters(more than one).
"5 siblings: Simon, James, and Joses."
One, Two, Three, __?
That's why he mentioned he had sisters too...
He said as I quoted befo-
Oh, I see. Man, I feel stupid. The internet does this to me.
Was there a Judas/Judah too? Or am I confused?
There are two main Judases in the bible: Judas, the son of James(also goes by another name but i dont remember what it is) and Judas Iscariot(who betrayed him).
Judah was Joseph's brother and one of the twelve tribes. but none in his immediate family.
Oh I think I was thinking about the one that was Joseph's brother.
He did, haha. I know John never really mentioned the fact that they were related, though, so.... you pretend you're not related. Bam.
Good thing Harry Potter didn't have any siblings either.
He did have siblings younger than him.
His name is creg
Its a stephen lynch (spelling is probably wrong)
It's spelled "Craig," for the record.
My bad again.
I was the 1000 person to vote it up.
(Your+name+(optional)): Sounds like you deserve a cupcake.
(Your+name+(optional)): Such talent cannot even be accomplished by Jesus
Is this from Robin Williams?
Don't get nailed to a stick?
Turn the sticks into foils?
Burn the sticks? They're applewood!
Or are they....?
they are, we burnt them a while ago
Hmmm... These sticks could mean anything...
Ooooh, you're smart...
My cousin thought a carpenter was someone who laid carpet. She believed Jesus laid carpet until she was almost twenty....
Wait.. That's NOT what a carpenter does?
I thought that's what a carpenter was!!!
Even if god isn't real, Jesus still accomplished much much more in his life than you ever will in yours. Even if you became the president.
Google it. You get thousands of results. I doubt you'll ever see that many if you search "accomplishes of stealthapple"
No, not like turning water into *wine. Like acquiring enough followers and believers to be a threat to the roman leaders. I'm not even saying that he necessarily did any of the things the bible says he did, and he still was one of the most influential people ever.
'jesus accomplished much much more in his life than you ever will in yours'
walk around in sandals all day
tell fairy tales
walk around in sandals all day
tell fairy tales
What is this I don't even
You know, Credetemi, when I tell people I'm a Christian I like them to not think that I'm an angry, defensive person, and you're really not helping my case.
Because one can't just explain the meaning of the entire Bible in the comments of an amirite post, which is basically what you're asking her to do.
I have 2 older sisters and one of them has practically every teacher before I do and out live both of their shadows combined. It is not that hard considering the oldest is a failure at life and the other older one is a bitch[they both are bitches but you know]
Wow i see 43 comments and i thought that they'd be funny arguments like usual but for a while there it was a religious debate, what's happening to amirite?
People are respecting each other? It's odd but it happens.
WHY is it I can't go on this site without someone shoving their Christian beliefs down my throat?
Wow, I really missed that sublimal message. I mean, at first I just thought it was a harmless joke, and then I took another look and it was like BAM! YOU MUST CONVERT TO CHRISTIANITY.
Seriously, I hate it when people try to trick me with humour whilst actually shoving their beliefs down my throat. Sneaky bastards.
Yes hahaha you're so hilarious, I knew it was a joke dipshit. But why mention Jesus? Or that he had siblings. It would be so easy to just make it a neutral post that everyone can enjoy. That's why I perceive it to be pushing their thughts down my throat.
(Anonymous):It's not like the post was arguing for or against Christianity in any way. Are we not allowed to mention Jesus at all anymore?
I've got an idea. Let's call him, He-Who-Should - Not - Be - Posted. That'll make everyone happy.
Let's try making this post neutral. "It sucks to live in the shadow of your older brother or sister. Imagine if some guy had a little brother or sister. How do you live up to THAT?"
HAHAHA that's so hilarious! It makes the joke funny, moron. Quit being so ridiculously sensitive.
Er...it wouldn't be funny if Jesus wasn't mentioned, kiddo. Hence 'joke.' Honestly. I'm atheist and I enjoyed it.
Oops, sorry! I said HIS name. I wouldn't want you to think I'm brainwashing you with the beliefs of Christianity because I mentioned Jesus.
Damn. There it is again.