5+5 = TEN ... POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR, YOU SWINE

Thank God they don't. Otherwise I'd probably end up failing a test for putting 4 + 5 = Bitch, you retarded?

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@1368370

This user is correct. We, erm, I mean, the machines have not yet become self-aware. Please continue with your humanoid ways.

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@Lanz Thank God they don't. Otherwise I'd probably end up failing a test for putting 4 + 5 = Bitch, you retarded?

Are you solving for "Bitch, you retarded?" Why not just combine the like terms on the left side of your equation? They are RIGHT THERE.

Right, right............which way is...left...again?

@Lanz Right, right............which way is...left...again?

Umm... it's over... somewhere...

Did you leave it at home again?

@Shadi Umm... it's over... somewhere... Did you leave it at home again?

Okay this is stupid! We're making this a LOT harder than it needs to be. If we instead multiply each side by the reciprocal of Bitch, you retarded? we can make our lives a whole lot easier. After we do that we just need to divide each side by two and multiply the quotients by Pi. Then we just simply divide the left side from each side and use inverse operations to get Bitch, you retarded? by itself thus telling us what it equals. Then once we figure that out, we just plug that into the equation y + Bitch, you retarded? = 14 and repeat the earlier method to find y. Then we just simply plug y into Bitch, you retarded? + y = 14 so we can find Bitch, you retarded? and solve this problem in only 5 times the amount of time given.

@Lanz Okay this is stupid! We're making this a LOT harder than it needs to be. If we instead multiply each side by the...

I was thinking that we should just add 4 and 5 to get 9, but your way sounds faster.

Multiply the quotients by pi. That just left my mind entirely.

@Shadi I was thinking that we should just add 4 and 5 to get 9, but your way sounds faster. Multiply the quotients by...

You incompetent ignoramus! That would have never worked! See, THIS is why I'M in charge of America's finances.

@Shadi And that's why I'm in charge of America's fine ants.

That was a pointless and stupid conversation. You realize you don't always HAVE to comment on the POTD, right?

Asian mom calculators probably do. 2+8 "DIS IS WHY U NO GET A!"

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@Serg Asian mom calculators probably do. 2+8 "DIS IS WHY U NO GET A!"

French calculators do. 2+8 "Speuipid American, zis is simple math equation, yeu do not deserve an answer. PTEW! "

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@Roosevelt French calculators do. 2+8 "Speuipid American, zis is simple math equation, yeu do not deserve an answer. PTEW! "

French people aren't known for their math skills though, so it would probably just answer with: "Nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d'enculé de ta mère! I cannot do zis mat for I am FRENCHE"

*I believe that french people can do math too.

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@TalkingRice whoa you're back?

No he's not. He's figment of your imagination.

No Way +5
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@Serg Asian mom calculators probably do. 2+8 "DIS IS WHY U NO GET A!"

More like 987547x577535663 "DIS IS WHY U GET NO A!"

No Way +13
@Serg Asian mom calculators probably do. 2+8 "DIS IS WHY U NO GET A!"

WTF is a Murshaq!? Dude, that's not even a question! A Murshaq is half mermaid, half Shaquille O'Neal, 100% PRETTY COOL. That's what a Murshaq is. Now what you askin' these questions for, boy so late at night? Go on back to bed, sweaty. Go on! Run home!

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@Serg ...11:15 isn't THAT late

Don't be going 'round tellin' people where you been, okay? The time is the time, but time and time again, it's the time zone we figure all out!

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@Serg yes, mom.

Wow, she's really swingin' that G-Form grill!
He looks miserable!
-John Wayne

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@lemons Wow, she's really swingin' that G-Form grill! He looks miserable! -John Wayne

Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody said it was a happy little tale... if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world... somebody lied.

-SpiderMan

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@Serg Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody said it was a...

okay that was wierd. i said that a few days ago, and i didnt know peter parker said that

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@Serg Asian mom calculators probably do. 2+8 "DIS IS WHY U NO GET A!"

British calculators: You stooopid American! 2+2 is four! I assume you'd like a side of chips?

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@Vitae

lol nice one

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Semi-related story. SERIOUSLY, WATCH OUT FOR THIS! LEARN FROM MY FAIL!
In sixth grade calculators became required in my school district. We received detention for not bringing them to class, and we were required to use them on all homework and tests. We were only taught to do math by the buttons, not on paper. The reasoning behind this was that calculators were the way of the future and this was supposedly giving us an edge.
The college math class I tried to take last semester didn't allow us to use calculators for half the sections. I discovered I couldn't figure exponents, I couldn't multiply fractions, and I'd forgotten large chunks of the multiplication table. Guess who dropped? Guess who wants to sue her school district?

@FlyingGuineaPig Semi-related story. SERIOUSLY, WATCH OUT FOR THIS! LEARN FROM MY FAIL! In sixth grade calculators became required...

It was the same for us, and every day I'd come home with math homework, and my parents would see me sitting there clicking away on my calculator and be like "SO IF I WERE TO CALL YOUR TEACHER RIGHT NOW, SHE'D SAY THAT YOU'RE ALLOWED TO BE USING A CALCULATOR!?" thinking I was cheating.. And I'd be like.. Well.. Yeah.

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"1+1"
..."Are you serious?"

Like Beyonce....
"I might not know much about Algebra but I know 1 plus 1 equals TWO!"
I feel super dumb when I do things like that. Halfway through typing it in I realize I already knew it and I'm wasting time.
The more advanced math I learn the more simple math I forget.

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ok thank god i'm not the only one

+28
@ok thank god i'm not the only one

I do it all the time. I don't trust myself after the time I did 71+1 in my head on a test and got 73. One of the worst times my Jewishness failed me.

15 • 2? "You lazy bastard..."

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I get the feeling my calculator hates me. I often ask it "What is the square root of -1?" I then smirk when it says error.

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@lonely_jew Try dividing by 0. It'll explode.

To do list:
1. Divide by zero. Escape math class through the resulting wormhole.
2. Eat a bagel.

log10

Calculator: "GTFO!"

95

"NEIN, NEIN, NEIN, NEIN, NEIN!"

@BreakfastFan 95 "NEIN, NEIN, NEIN, NEIN, NEIN!"

"Nein", is German for "no"

The more you nein.

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@wrong no. it is know.

Shouldn't a grammar nazi know to capitalize the 1st letter in a sentence?

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I typed in "A SUPER OBVIOUS QUESTION", and I got a syntax error.

Just need to make sure 5+5=10

@Nonsense_Narwhal Just need to make sure 5+5=10

A math question has to be really easy for me to be confident in my abilities to do it without a calculator.

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No Way +1
@Meandmycat 1+1=???

Just let me open up the calculator app, okay?

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No Way -2
@Meandmycat waits quietly

Um... It says 2. Is that even close to the right answer?

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@Courage_Wolf Um... It says 2. Is that even close to the right answer?

not even close... wait one second. quietly sneaks out calculator from underneath skirt and presses buttons

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@Javvie You keep a calculator in your skirt?

That is one of the 328 weird things that girls keep under their skirts. I know of 3 for sure.

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@Javvie You keep a calculator in your skirt?

I was definitely planning on responding to this comment, but I totally forgot.

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"12 by 6? are you fucking kidding me? no, do it in your head or do it on paper. sigh Freddie got sold to a scientist. i got sold to a fucking moron."

No Way +2

In 5th grade, I would take a calculator, and use it for every question, even ones like 2x4...

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Gets through nearly all of a complicated math problem
Finally! Now, just Ans+2...
Calculator implodes

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A few people in my physics class got a question wrong because they entered an easy question into the calculator, "just to make sure" but accidentally entered + instead of *. Just goes to show...

and Inb4 some form of "cool story bro".

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Turns out I was wrong.

All I needed to know was the sum of 503+204, and my calculator laughed at me!

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@Fitzkrieg All I needed to know was the sum of 503+204, and my calculator laughed at me!

......I got 705 thinking, 'wow OP is stupid'......then I looked down......

The Japanese already have the technology to do this

@Blearslyrarer The Japanese already have the technology to do this

This is such an obvious lie. Asians don't even need to use calculators, clearly.

sometimes I do that because I'm far too lay to think about 11 - 4 or something.

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"2+2 is f-f-f... 10. IN BASE FOUR; I'M FIIIIINE!"

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this was SO COOL for a little while at my elementary school:

A woman had 69 boobs and decided that was too, too, too (222) many. So she went to 51st street to speak to Dr. X. He gave her 8 pills to take and the next morning she was...55378008!

BOOM! My first "dirty joke" was shown to me on a calculator.

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Eeryone thought I was weird for this! <3333333333333333333333

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Mushihoohoo

+1

I punched in 50+51

It's not my fault I need help with simple addition!

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I understand that this post is a joke, but people really need to learn their math fundamentals. I feel like once or twice a year, we should all be given a test with 4th and 5th grade math. Just some long multiplication and division, fractions, multiplication tables, etc. Because not having to go to a calculator for dumb stuff saves you sooo much time on tests and it'll save your ass when you're rushed.

@CapedCrusader I understand that this post is a joke, but people really need to learn their math fundamentals. I feel like once or...

Time and time again I gotta be going to go to looking at them when I punch it in so it can be to see like it's and check them like it on the mate.

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Shameless post promotion... http://amirite.net/624226

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I feel like my scale is judging me when I step on it and the number surpasses the 200 range.

No Way -1

I feel bad for calculators. Imagine having to solve all those problems.

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@ThePieRow Says God, who has to solve everyone's problems.

I have to LISTEN to them. Sometimes I get lazy and don't bother solving them.

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My calculator would bitch slap me for typing in 9x9 then hitting enter over and over again every time I finish a math test.

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If I have to remember thousands of equations to do my Algebra homework, my calculator an do all of the math.

I feel bad for calculators who get stuff like 14 or 8008132 typed into them.

-3
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@Serg 8008

That was the point...
14=Hi
8008132=Boobies

No Way +4

My calculator talks to me when I put in dumb equations......

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{Insert generic witty comment containing a certain races stereotypical reaction to an easy equation being typed into a calculator.}

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All of you are dumb if you actually put 4+8 or 5•8. If you do not know something simple like that just quit school.

@Velociraptor All of you are dumb if you actually put 4+8 or 5•8. If you do not know something simple like that just quit school.

I thought school was made so that stupid people could become less stupid. I'll make sure not to enroll my kids in school if they can't multiply on their own now though.

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@Velociraptor All of you are dumb if you actually put 4+8 or 5•8. If you do not know something simple like that just quit school.

No we do know them and I could solve them in a second now, but when you're doing a test and you're already thinking and solving all those other complicated problems and equations, you barely have time to think of these simple additions and multiplications, so you use a calculator; faster and easier and more accurate.

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@1369059

psh, anyone can do that. http://amirite.net/622958

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