YOU must be a Weasley.
As opposed to other forms of making fun of someone, of course.
"What did you do in school today, son?"
"I called Oswald fat."
"THAT'S MY BOY!"
My father will hear about this post.
And will promptly crucio you for being on the Internet. RUN, DRACO, RUN!
I do not run, I strut. And father shan't find out about my usage of the muggle form of magic known as the 'internet' as he is so deeply-rooted in the wizarding world that he does not know of its existence. Just one of the many things I overheard that mudblood, Granger, blathering about to Weasley one day in Potions. Not that I was eavesdropping or anything. And I certainly didn't use one of those ridiculous Extendable Ears . . .
Actually, ou should already know these things as you appear to be, in fact, me, and should also know that you are in danger of being reported by one of mother's spies who filter through the internet in search of my name. Therefore, STRUT AWAY, Draco, STRUT AWAY!
MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS frantically struts in the opposite direction
That strut simply does not contain enough swagger. How shall I ever upstage Potter if my walk resembles that of a wounded Hippogriff? STRUT like you MEAN it, Draco Abraxas Malfoy! We have practised this in front of NUMEROUS enchanted mirrors!
Don't you know? Wounded hippogrifs are all the new craze!
But I agree, I must be a proper Malfoy.
I shall now demonstrate strut number 57: the strut full of swagger that is accompanied by a swishing robe as Crabbe and Goyle scamper after me!
Wounded Hippogirffs are the new craze? Merlin's beard, I must ask father to purchase several of them POST-HASTE! I SHALL have more than Potter! He's going to go all hipster-wizard, isn't he, and start boasting about the vicious lunatic of a creature that oaf, Hagrid, had back in third year. He'll be all like "Oh, yeah, I had a wounded Hippogriff BEFORE they were cool". Well, you know what I say to that, Potter? I was wounded BY a Hippogriff before it was cool! That'll show him . . .
Ah, strut number 57 . . . It truly is one of my favourites. I find it works particularly well if Crabbe and Goyle are ordered to crack their knuckles and look menacing. Good luck practising!.....Hahaha! I joke, you know. As if Draco Malfoy needs luck.
Don't worry about the hippogrifs, I have heard you may purchase them at a good price on Amazon. The only hard part would be explaining to father why a muggle man is delivering wounded animals to the front gate of the manor.
And as to Potter, you can also slap him when he starts speaking. That would probably work.
Exit Draco, stage left!
Dramatic robe swish
You clean poor girl.
You dirty rich boy.
"To be rich and friendless, or poor and popular: A timeless question"
I'd rather be poor and popular rather than rich and friendless. One of my good friends, Angelica (who's really wealthy) is kind of friendless - I'm her only friend. So I can see from both perspectives and I have always been on poor and popular for awhile. And, I don't mean to be snobby, but I'm popular.
To be honest, Im about middle class and am, maybe, a little popular. I see neither side of the spectrum, but Id rather be rich because friends come and go, and having one true best friend is sometimes all you need.
You scruffled middle-class hermaphrodite.
cough Draco cough
Needy women, always calling out our name.
I completely agree. And from there it's all, "Oh Draco, your hair is so very BLOND" or, "Oh Draco, could you possibly give me a teensy-tiny hint how to access your Gringrotts vault?" or even, "Oh Draco, I hear you were in the same year as Harry Potter, could you introduce me?"
YES, I KNOW my hair is blond and NO, you needy woman, I shall NOT give you information in relation to my vault and DEFINITELY NO, I will NOT introduce you to Potter because I do not KNOW Potter on that personal a level so PLEASE STOP OWLING ME!
And then they don't listen and walk up to father and try the same thing! "Oh Lucius, your pony tail is so very MANLY! And Lucius, the fact that the Dark Lord broke your wand/pimp cane is so amazing. Don't you think we could meet up sometime and you could lend me a few galleons?"
You blubbering idiots, his wife is right over there! And then they walk away after being rejected and start up again: "Oh, DRACO! Your hair..."
Oh, believe me, I know all about it. Several times he's expressed the desire to Avada Kedavra them into wizard hell, but you know there was that whole thing with the Ministry, and the Dark Lord, and the Dark Marks, and those death threats sent to the Minister by Aunt Bellatrix years ago . . .
I think I shall give Goyle some polyjuice potion. He'll turn into me and then HE can bear the brunt of the needy women who call out our name and inform us of our hair colour and lust after our fortune and that numpty, Potter.
im upper middle class so i wouldnt know either one.