If a robber ever breaks into your house, just pretend to be one too, and you guys will have a good laugh and hug and he'll leave, because you had first dibs. amirite?

Or he'll SHOOT YOU IN THE FUGGIN FACE

by Anonymous 13 years ago

oh no but I love my fuggin. I treat him like a son.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

My neighbor's been abusing his fuggin. I can't help but feel concerned.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Anyone else imagining a Fuggin to be little fuzz balls, or is that just me?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I imagining something like a griffin but has somewhat of a dog or cat shape to it.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I imagined a fuggin to be everything, and yet nothing....

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Well Sun, I would be too.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

fugg you

by Anonymous 13 years ago

That is right I am robbing the place in my pajamas

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I even put pictures of myself around the house to throw them off

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I even got my car into their garage for... extra surveillance... wary

by Anonymous 13 years ago

What if they sleep naked?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Rumour has it, it is possible to get dressed.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Wait, you can get arrested for sleeping naked?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Let that be their surprise. Hehe.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Obviously they used the opposite method. "Are we robbers? Dude, we live here. Why else would we be in pajamas? Also, have you seen the safe or jewerly case anywhere?"

by Anonymous 13 years ago

The mental image of this made me lol

by Anonymous 13 years ago

The physical image of this made me lol.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Quiet, Dwigt.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

The spiritual image of this made me lol

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Haha, I remember reading this somewhere. And I remember Fluffy talking about something like this. XD

by Anonymous 13 years ago

FluffeeTalks?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Yup.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

My cat was named fluffy and was shot by a robber...except not really (cry2)

by Anonymous 13 years ago

...Why are you sad that your cat WASN'T shot by a robber?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I'm sad I don't HAVE a cat to be shot by a robber.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Because it would have made for the world's most relevant conversation piece.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

THat's why it's funny! yum

(cry2)

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I used to have a cat named fluffy too wary

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Did yours "run away"?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

How the fuck did you know? :o we gave her to my aunt before we moved, then we found out she "ran away" like 2 years later :(

by Anonymous 13 years ago

My kitty "ran away" a month ago

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Sorry :(

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Saw this on Twitter. Trolley_Cat, I think.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Yeah, but it's a democratic POTD, and 90% of the users don't care if something is stolen or not, they'll still favourite it.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Is there like a new POTD system? I was on holiday and now I'm completely bamboozled.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

It's for a week.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

There always has to be a POTD buzzkill. Everyone's like HAHA YAY THIS IS FUNNYYY. and then there's one of YOU that's like SAW THIS ON _____. FAKE AND GAY.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You'really taking words out of my teeth. I just said I saw this on Twitter

by Anonymous 13 years ago

OP went anonymous, so I'm not complaining.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I like how you voted up your own comment.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Yeah, who does that?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I like how you're anonymous.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Until your significant other walks out and ruins everything... LIKE ALWAYS!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

But then he'll try to do rock paper scissors, and you might lose ;c

by Anonymous 13 years ago

"Once. Twice. SHOOT!" *BAM*

by Anonymous 13 years ago

"EVERYBODY FREEZE!" "Hey what's up man! Don't worry, I'm a robber too. Sure I'm just a teenager girl... without a gun.. with no mask on.. in my PJs, but I'm here to rob this house too." "Oh it's cool man, you came here first so I'm just gonna go now, have fun." -Hugs- Yeah that's what's gonna happen, right.. Anyways funny post lol

by Anonymous 13 years ago

What If you're a teenage BOY in PJ's? This is incredibly sexist!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Unfortunately, the sexism card can only be played by females.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

But thats sexist!! Oh wait Im a guy i cant play it.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Sorry, are you white, too? Then you're really fucked.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Nobody has it worse than us poor white males..

by Anonymous 13 years ago

No, the black race card expired too when Obama became president. Now Middle Eastern lesbian women with handicaps, they have it good.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Doesn't the Middle East kill homosexuals?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

If I was robbing someone's house and someone else came into the room I wouldn't stop to check why they were there.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Then you would be breaking rule #3 of proper burglary.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Herp derp, that's why this is a joke

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I always thought it would be funny to pretend you knew they guy. "DUDE! i havent seen you in years! How are you man!" Of course this would only work in cartoons and crappy sitcoms.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Or excellent sitcoms! It happened once in Friends when Ross & Phoebe were being mugged :)

by Anonymous 13 years ago

That would be giving them a reason to kill you... why would they leave you alive, if you can identify them and get arrested by the cops?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

"Ahh! What the hell are you doing here?" "Robbin your house, bitch." "Oh, I see. You think this is my house. Yeah, I'm a robber-" "The shut the fuck up and no or gets hurt." "You don't understand! Crime has no age! I can sooo be a fifteen year old girl and a robber at the same time!" "Nice try. I can see you in the pictures." "That's not me!" "Okay." "Well, I got first dibs." "Fine. But why are you in pajamas?" "I'm too lazy to change. " "Oh, alright. " -hugs- -robber pulls out gun and shoots her in the back of the head- "I'm not stupid, bitch!"

by Anonymous 13 years ago

If this was a film script it would win Oscars by the case-load.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Also a woodie because of all the post-mordem funsies. hello

Necrophilia. Aw yeah. cool

by Anonymous 13 years ago

tl;dr plan foiled by PJs

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You'll just watch the movie when it comes out. It's called 2 robbers 1 house.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I'd rather not. Anything in a 2:1 ratio scares the shit out of me.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

"I'm a robber too!" "Dude, you're in a wheelchair." "What? You think I'm not good enough to rob this house just 'cause I'm in a wheel chair? Fuck you! And here I thought thieves had honor!" "Yeah...only, this house has a wheelchair ramp out front." "And what's your point?"

by Anonymous 13 years ago

wait a built in ramp or a ghetto ramp that you put over the stairs?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I dunno, I just made it up as I went. For the sake of argument let's say that the character in my story is a crotchety old man named Frank, and Frank lives in an upper middle class neighborhood and has a fancy wheelchair ramp outside his door that has a lovely grippy pad on it, which enables Frank to park in the doorway and shout at the paper boy, the pizza guy, and the dudes who mow his lawn, all without leaving the comfort of his home.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Frank sounds nice.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

this made me laugh so hard haha

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Same. But without the so hello

. No? Ok.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I keep a very powerful airsoft in my bed to deter robbers. Sure, it won't hurt them bad, but they'll bleed like a motherfucker and not know why the fuck why.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You MUST be 12..

by Anonymous 13 years ago

17.. If you break into a house, your nerves are already shot, the idea is to make them panic, and this airsoft gun puts the bbs under your skin. My alternative is hide under the covers..

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Few if any airsoft guns have the power to penetrate skin. Hell, they're designed to not hurt people like that.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I know, that's why this one's fucked up. It breaks the bbs on anything too strong for dents or holes.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

airsoft gun made to look like a real gun VS a real gun....... seems evenly matched enough aim for his balls Captn

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Or his eyes!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I heard this from some comedian before....

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Whoa i was just thinking about what i would do if that happened like 20 minutes ago haha

by Anonymous 13 years ago

why do you assume the robber is a male?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

This post reminds me of that episode of Drake and Josh.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You know shit's goin down when some "robber" bites off a guy's finger.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You got any sugar on ya? This grapefruit's a little sour.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

That's what I thought too. I loved that episode. :)

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Yup, it works every time, ever since I started wearing a black beanie, mask, shirt and pants to bed.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Dude this joke is on the Funny Jokes app from android!!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Rule 1.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

oh no! i forgot to honor Rule 1.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Everything on that app is stolen.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

*rubs forehead twice*

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Was my comment deleted?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

redundant

by Anonymous 13 years ago

What, no threesome in the kitchen?

by Anonymous 13 years ago