You shouldn't die a virgin because then you might have to have sex with a terrorist in heaven, amirite?

I have to admit this took me a minute. .

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I don't get it...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

They tell terrorists to go on suicide missions because if they do, when they die they'll get 72 virgins.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

okay, thanks for clearing that up.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I was promised 72 virgins after I died and this is what i got -_- http://www.quicklybored.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/nerds_the_musical_1.jpg

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Damn. That's sexy.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

72 you say?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I THINK so. Maybe just 70 lol.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

A career as a terrorist just got a whole lot more appealing!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Abu Wardeh, who recruited terrorists for suicide bombings in Israel was quoted saying: “[...] become a martyr, God will give you 70 virgins, 70 wives and everlasting happiness.” (pretty sure he wasn't the only guy who said that btw) This post is saying that you may be one of those 70 virgins. XD

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You should in the mail tomorrow

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I have to admit this, I dropped food on the ground, and ate it after 6 seconds, not 5. (cry2)

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Why would you ever admit such a thing!?! Shame on you!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Terrorists go to heaven?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

The kind ones do.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

there are kind terrorists?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

... no comment.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

That's a comment ^

by Anonymous 13 years ago

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Acording to what they have been told, yes. It's the same with Christians: according to what you have been told, you will go to heaven.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Yhhhhhhhh thts kinda crap soz

by Anonymous 13 years ago

It's clearly a joke...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Yea? Well so is your grammar.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Dont worry u wont

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Thank you so much for reassuring me! I was on the verge of calling a prostitute.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

virgin* ...on the virgin of calling a prostitute.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

If you're on a virgin, why do you need to call a prostitute?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I'm afraid that I might fall because I am so high in the air, so the virgin I am on is calling a prostitute to help me down.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

No one said it was a naked virgin. For all we know, they're playing leap frog, or twister, or having sex, or he fell on her as he was mugging her.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

This is probably in my top 1 of weirdest conversations to have ever read anywhere list.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

If I have sex with a terrorist on Earth, does that mean he won't get any in heaven?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

"Welcome to heaven, NOW HAVE SEX WITH OSAMA" Something doesn't sound right hmm

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Yeah, the whole welcome to heaven thing is kind of awkward. Like I just died, how about a "I'm sorry about your death" or "Don't worry, you're in a better place now". Just because it's heaven, doesn't mean I don't deserve a proper welcoming. Oh, and the sex with a hairy, smelly, murderer wouldn't be to good either.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

You'd know that, having lived in a federal prison for thirty years now.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Hey, that's stereotyping. There are plenty of terrorists that are neither hairy nor smelly.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Why would I make you have sex with Osama? He's old news up here. You'd probably end up having sex with some other terrorist who had died more recently.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Well I'm safe, I hear there aren't many gay muslim terrorists...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Terrorists can be women. I'm sure they don't care about your sexuality.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

All gay people go to hell anyway.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

#Controversialcommentalert

by Anonymous 13 years ago

#OhWaitThisIsntTwitter

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Jesus hung around 12 dudes all day every day. And Judas greeted him with a kiss. Did Jesus go to hell?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Yeah he did.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

That made me think of Jeff Dunham's comedy act with Achmed the Dead Terrorist. Achmed: Wait, if I'm dead, that means I get my 72 virgins! Are you my virgins? I hope not. Jeff: Why? Achmed: There's a bunch of ugly-ass guys out there! If this is Paradise I've been screwed! Jeff: Well, did they say it would be only *female* virgins? Achmed: Holy crap!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Who said anything about the terrorist being Muslim?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Terrorism isn't a joking matter you guys, that being said, do you know what type of pizzas were last ordered at the World Trade Center? Two large Planes.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

And if anyone was wondering, the Twin Towers did give the delivery boy a tip. ... frown

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I got hit by a snowball on 9/11. The 9th of November I mean.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

damn i posted that joke but it got deleted because some gay bitches were bitching

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Terrorists are so dumb. They're like "Hey, my religion says I'll go to heaven if I die in a religious war. I think I'm going to go crash a plane and hurt some people, then I'll be a martyr."

by Anonymous 13 years ago

agreed. they just pick and choose and misinterpret the teachings of their their religion. i mean, basically, they just fuck all the shit up.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

At least you lose your virginity

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I'm hungry.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

How do chip sound?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

No, I want two large plane pizzas ^

by Anonymous 13 years ago

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Hey Crobat, someone once told me that Hell is a circular room with a feast in the middle and a fence keeping everyone back from it. The people all have long forks with which they can pick up food, but the forks are too long to maneuver into their mouths and so everyone is hungry and everyone is miserable. Heaven is right next door and it looks exactly the same, only everyone is using their long forks to feed each other. I think you've sinned.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I've heard that same story at the Zen Buddhist temple, but they used chopsticks. I was confused; I didn't think they believed in either heaven or hell.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I once heard that there was this baby and he was born with a tail and the parents were all like "HOLY JIZZ WE GAVE BIRTH TO THE DEVIL!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!1" but the doctor was all "This is not unheard of. You did not give birth to the devil." And they were all liek "Well we don't want it." So the doctor slapped them and left.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I would have slapped those parents, too! Shouting "one" in the presence of a newborn... THE NERVE!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I may or may not have made that all up. Also, I'm still hungry

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Is that why I don't see my pickles anywhere? hmm

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I love me some Chauncy Pickles hello

by Anonymous 13 years ago

This reminded me of starship. :S "Thank deadGod, I thought I was gonna die a virgin!"

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Does Voldemort count? That sexy thing; and he's a virgin too hello

by Anonymous 13 years ago

How do you know? Tom Riddle was pretty handsome in his day... I bet he knew how to get down. hello

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Is that you, Wormtail?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

lololololololol I was always strict with the comments I loved. But ZOMG!!

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Why thank you, kind sir

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Calm down?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize I wasn't allowed to be excited. No one was offended by my comment and you still get upset by it. Does that make you feel big? You feel strong now? I assume that this thirst for power only comes from your repressed homosexuality. So because I don't want this to be a hate crime I will calm down for you.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Obviously other people were offended because they voted down on it. And where do I demonstrate thirst for power or homosexuality? Stop pulling ideas out of your ass. And I'm not voting you down because doing that to someone you're arguing with is just a tad bit pathetic.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Trolololol uMad, bro?

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Great comeback.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I think Bellatrix already took his virginity. Sorry.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

THAT SLUT. D:

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I only understood this because of Jeff Dunham and the "SILENCE, I KILL YOU!" puppet-thing. wary

by Anonymous 13 years ago

JINGLE BOMBS, JINGLE BOMBS, MINE BLEW UP YOU SEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERE ARE ALL ZE VIRGINS THAT BINLADIN PROMISED MEEEEEEE??? <3 Achmed the dead terrorist.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

GROOSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **Vomits tears of disgust** puke

by Anonymous 13 years ago

If you vomit tears, then you have more problems than just a disturbing image in your head.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

I laughed because the vote is currently on 666.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

would terrorists even be in heaven? i dont think so...

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Muslim extremists believe that terrorism will send them to heaven, where 72 virgins will be waiting for them. That's their entire motive for suicide bombing.

by Anonymous 13 years ago

ohhh. srry i get it now. thx

by Anonymous 13 years ago

Well I wouldn't consider bombings in Israel as terrorist attacks, because Israelis live in houses of Palestinians who were either killed, taken as hostages or kicked from their own land. In this case, the people who accepted living in their place are as bad as the ones who kicked them out int he first place.

by Anonymous 13 years ago