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You shouldn't die a virgin because then you might have to have sex with a terrorist in heaven, amirite?

84%Yeah You Are16%No Way
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"Welcome to heaven, NOW HAVE SEX WITH OSAMA"

Something doesn't sound righthmm smilie

Nonsense_Narwhals avatar Nonsense_Narwhal Yeah You Are +116Reply
@Nonsense_Narwhal "Welcome to heaven, NOW HAVE SEX WITH OSAMA" Something doesn't sound right

Yeah, the whole welcome to heaven thing is kind of awkward. Like I just died, how about a "I'm sorry about your death" or "Don't worry, you're in a better place now". Just because it's heaven, doesn't mean I don't deserve a proper welcoming.

Oh, and the sex with a hairy, smelly, murderer wouldn't be to good either.

DandyLions avatar DandyLion Yeah You Are +38Reply
@Nonsense_Narwhal "Welcome to heaven, NOW HAVE SEX WITH OSAMA" Something doesn't sound right

Why would I make you have sex with Osama? He's old news up here. You'd probably end up having sex with some other terrorist who had died more recently.

God_the_Almightys avatar God_the_Almighty Yeah You Are +24Reply

Terrorists go to heaven?

@OrangeCheekun Terrorists go to heaven?

Acording to what they have been told, yes.

It's the same with Christians: according to what you have been told, you will go to heaven.

Anonymous +7Reply

Terrorism isn't a joking matter you guys, that being said, do you know what type of pizzas were last ordered at the World Trade Center? Two large Planes.

Terrorists are so dumb. They're like "Hey, my religion says I'll go to heaven if I die in a religious war. I think I'm going to go crash a plane and hurt some people, then I'll be a martyr."

@swimlax Terrorists are so dumb. They're like "Hey, my religion says I'll go to heaven if I die in a religious war. I think...

agreed. they just pick and choose and
misinterpret the teachings of their their religion. i mean, basically, they just fuck all the shit up.

I have to admit this took me a minute. .

528491s avatar 528491 Yeah You Are +27Reply
@528491 I have to admit this took me a minute. .

I have to admit this, I dropped food on the ground, and ate it after 6 seconds, not 5. (cry2)

DandyLions avatar DandyLion Yeah You Are +60Reply
@JandW4ever I don't get it...

Abu Wardeh, who recruited terrorists for suicide bombings in Israel was quoted saying: “[...] become a martyr, God will give you 70 virgins, 70 wives and everlasting happiness.”
(pretty sure he wasn't the only guy who said that btw)

This post is saying that you may be one of those 70 virgins. XD

Rhinocrows avatar Rhinocrow Yeah You Are +34Reply
@JandW4ever I don't get it...

You should in the mail tomorrow

JINGLE BOMBS, JINGLE BOMBS, MINE BLEW UP YOU SEEEEEEEEEEEE

WHERE ARE ALL ZE VIRGINS THAT BINLADIN PROMISED MEEEEEEE???

<3 Achmed the dead terrorist.

Pedo_Cats avatar Pedo_Cat Yeah You Are +21Reply

If I have sex with a terrorist on Earth, does that mean he won't get any in heaven?

Does Voldemort count? That sexy thing; and he's a virgin too hello smilie

Expelliarmuss avatar Expelliarmus Yeah You Are +16Reply
@Expelliarmus Does Voldemort count? That sexy thing; and he's a virgin too

How do you know? Tom Riddle was pretty handsome in his day... I bet he knew how to get down. hello smilie

@Expelliarmus Is that you, Wormtail?

lololololololol I was always strict with the comments I loved. But ZOMG!!

@Palindromes_Are_Fun Calm down?

Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize I wasn't allowed to be excited. No one was offended by my comment and you still get upset by it. Does that make you feel big? You feel strong now? I assume that this thirst for power only comes from your repressed homosexuality. So because I don't want this to be a hate crime I will calm down for you.

@Astronaut_Will Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize I wasn't allowed to be excited. No one was offended by my comment and you still get...

Obviously other people were offended because they voted down on it. And where do I demonstrate thirst for power or homosexuality? Stop pulling ideas out of your ass. And I'm not voting you down because doing that to someone you're arguing with is just a tad bit pathetic.

I only understood this because of Jeff Dunham and the "SILENCE, I KILL YOU!" puppet-thing. wary smilie

At least you lose your virginity y smilie

Sergs avatar Serg Yeah You Are +13Reply

This reminded me of starship. :S
"Thank deadGod, I thought I was gonna die a virgin!"

Well I'm safe, I hear there aren't many gay muslim terrorists...

@HastyCroissant Well I'm safe, I hear there aren't many gay muslim terrorists...

That made me think of Jeff Dunham's comedy act with Achmed the Dead Terrorist.

Achmed: Wait, if I'm dead, that means I get my 72 virgins! Are you my virgins? I hope not.
Jeff: Why?
Achmed: There's a bunch of ugly-ass guys out there! If this is Paradise I've been screwed!
Jeff: Well, did they say it would be only female virgins?
Achmed: Holy crap!

@HastyCroissant Well I'm safe, I hear there aren't many gay muslim terrorists...

Terrorists can be women. I'm sure they don't care about your sexuality.

Anonymous +21Reply
Anonymous +12Reply
@Who said anything about the terrorist being Muslim?

The 72 virgins thing is related to Islam, is it not?

Anonymous +5Reply
@The 72 virgins thing is related to Islam, is it not?

Technically, yes. I'll spare you the explanation. But I'm asking why he inserted 'Muslim' after that 'gay terrorist' part.

Geez, when your religion gets one too many extremists in its new fan club, completely screw up their moralities, say all this stuff about going to heaven, then plant new plans to destroy the world, that religion gets a bit notorious.

Anonymous +1Reply
@Technically, yes. I'll spare you the explanation. But I'm asking why he inserted 'Muslim' after that 'gay...

Actually, it's better that he specified. The same comment wouldn't apply, for example, to Christian or atheist terrorists. He's referring to terrorists who are Muslim - not to terrorists or Muslims in general.

I'm hungry.

@Roy I'm hungry.

How do chip sound?

@God_the_Almighty How do chip sound?

No, I want two large plane pizzas ^

@Roy No, I want two large plane pizzas ^

Hey Crobat, someone once told me that Hell is a circular room with a feast in the middle and a fence keeping everyone back from it. The people all have long forks with which they can pick up food, but the forks are too long to maneuver into their mouths and so everyone is hungry and everyone is miserable. Heaven is right next door and it looks exactly the same, only everyone is using their long forks to feed each other.
I think you've sinned.

@FlyingGuineaPig Hey Crobat, someone once told me that Hell is a circular room with a feast in the middle and a fence keeping...

I once heard that there was this baby and he was born with a tail and the parents were all like "HOLY JIZZ WE GAVE BIRTH TO THE DEVIL!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!1" but the doctor was all "This is not unheard of. You did not give birth to the devil." And they were all liek "Well we don't want it." So the doctor slapped them and left.

@FlyingGuineaPig Hey Crobat, someone once told me that Hell is a circular room with a feast in the middle and a fence keeping...

I've heard that same story at the Zen Buddhist temple, but they used chopsticks. I was confused; I didn't think they believed in either heaven or hell.

Anonymous +7Reply
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@1427445

'CAUSE I'M A WILDFLOWER! YEAH, IMMA WILDFLOWER GROWIN' IN THE SUNSHINE, SOAKIN' UP THE WAY OF LIFE I WAS RAISED IN

@Francois SO FAR AWAYYYYYY! SO FAR AWAY FOR FAR TOO LOOONGGGG

CAUSE YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, YOU KNOOOOOWW. THAT I LOVE YOU, AND I LOVED YOU ALL ALONG

Expelliarmuss avatar Expelliarmus Yeah You Are +2Reply
@Expelliarmus CAUSE YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, YOU KNOOOOOWW. THAT I LOVE YOU, AND I LOVED YOU ALL ALONG

HE'S GOT TWO LEFT FEET, AND HE BITES MY MOVES. I'M NOT GONNA TEACH HIM HOW TO DANCE-DANCE-DANCE-DANCE-DANCE!

@Expelliarmus CAUSE YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, YOU KNOOOOOWW. THAT I LOVE YOU, AND I LOVED YOU ALL ALONG

I WAS TAUGHT ONLY REACH FOR THA HEAT IF YOU BUSTIN, SO WHEN I LIFT MA SHIRT IT'S THE END OF DISCUSSION
MA TRIGGA BLOWS NIGGAS OUT THEY SHOES AND SOCKS, I GUARANTEE I WONT MISS YOU IF I USE THA DOT

@Francois I WAS TAUGHT ONLY REACH FOR THA HEAT IF YOU BUSTIN, SO WHEN I LIFT MA SHIRT IT'S THE END OF DISCUSSION MA TRIGGA...

YOU BETTER LOSE YOURSELF IN THE MUSIC, THE MOMENT YOU OWN YOU BETTER NEVER LET IT GO GO YOU ONLY GOT ONE SHOT DO NOT MISS YOUR CHANCE TO BLOW THIS OPPORTUNITY COMES ONCE IN A LIFE TIME

So I realized we no longer are singing the same song so :(

Expelliarmuss avatar Expelliarmus Yeah You Are +2Reply
@Expelliarmus YOU BETTER LOSE YOURSELF IN THE MUSIC, THE MOMENT YOU OWN YOU BETTER NEVER LET IT GO GO YOU ONLY GOT ONE SHOT DO...

MOTHERFUCK DRE, MOTHERFUCK SNOOP, MOTHERFUCK DEATH ROW
AND HERE COMES MY LEFT BLOW

Clearly not

@Francois MOTHERFUCK DRE, MOTHERFUCK SNOOP, MOTHERFUCK DEATH ROW AND HERE COMES MY LEFT BLOW Clearly not

THE STARS! THE MOON! THEY HAVE ALL BEEN BLOWN OUT! THE WORLD IS IN THE DARK!

I thought that was obvious...

@What are yu doing...

OOOOOOAAH, WE'RE HALF WAY THERE OOOOOOOOO-OOOH LIVIN' ON A PRAYER. TAKE MY HAND AND WE'LL MAKE IT I SWEAR OHHHHAAAAH LIVIN' ON A PRAYER.

Oh and "what are yu doing...?" I am doing your mom^^

Pedo_Cats avatar Pedo_Cat Yeah You Are +7Reply
@1427445

AND I SAID, ROMEO TAKE ME SOMEWHERE WE CAN BE ALONE, I'LL BE WAITING ALL THERE'S LEFT TO DO IS RUN, YOU'LL BE THE PRINCE AND I'LL BE THE PRINCESS IT'S A LOVE STORY BABY JUST SAY YESSSSSSS

Expelliarmuss avatar Expelliarmus Yeah You Are +1Reply

I laughed because the vote is currently on 666.

Kashishs avatar Kashish Yeah You Are +1Reply
This comment was deleted by its author.
@1427289

5 MINUTES TO GET RID OF IT.

DandyLions avatar DandyLion Yeah You Are +13Reply
@DandyLion 5 MINUTES TO GET RID OF IT.

It's always been 5 seconds for me... I feel cheated.

would terrorists even be in heaven? i dont think so...

@rmina would terrorists even be in heaven? i dont think so...

Muslim extremists believe that terrorism will send them to heaven, where 72 virgins will be waiting for them. That's their entire motive for suicide bombing.

Vitaes avatar Vitae Yeah You Are 0Reply

Well I wouldn't consider bombings in Israel as terrorist attacks, because Israelis live in houses of Palestinians who were either killed, taken as hostages or kicked from their own land. In this case, the people who accepted living in their place are as bad as the ones who kicked them out int he first place.

This comment was deleted by its author.
@1427291

They only make it if it's Allah's shift. I don't stay up all day and night forever. We take turns.

God_the_Almightys avatar God_the_Almighty Yeah You Are +39Reply
@Expelliarmus DUDE YOU AND ALLAH ARE THE SAME THING.

And you would know this, seeing ad you are the all-knowing one in this conversation.

God_the_Almightys avatar God_the_Almighty Yeah You Are +51Reply
@1427291

stfu & enjoy the post

Anonymous +38Reply
@1427291

Since they died and transitioned into after life

sb123s avatar sb123 Yeah You Are +1Reply

GROOSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Vomits tears of disgust puke smilie

@BeautifulNightmare GROOSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Vomits tears of disgust

If you vomit tears, then you have more problems than just a disturbing image in your head.

ctiscoolers avatar ctiscooler Yeah You Are +17Reply

Dont worry u wont

@VIPbabe123 Dont worry u wont

Thank you so much for reassuring me! I was on the verge of calling a prostitute.

@Shadi virgin* ...on the virgin of calling a prostitute.

If you're on a virgin, why do you need to call a prostitute?

@lonely_jew If you're on a virgin, why do you need to call a prostitute?

No one said it was a naked virgin. For all we know, they're playing leap frog, or twister, or having sex, or he fell on her as he was mugging her.

@lonely_jew If you're on a virgin, why do you need to call a prostitute?

This is probably in my top 1 of weirdest conversations to have ever read anywhere list.

@lonely_jew If you're on a virgin, why do you need to call a prostitute?

I'm afraid that I might fall because I am so high in the air, so the virgin I am on is calling a prostitute to help me down.

This comment was deleted by its author.
@1427586

..Are you serious or?

rowannes avatar rowanne Yeah You Are +15Reply
This user has deactivated their account.
@1428303

No, stupid, he meant virgins.

Yhhhhhhhh thts kinda crap soz

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