Dwights avatar Religion
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Twinkies are 98% air

I can walk on Twinkies

I AM 98% AIRPLANE.

Andromedas avatar Andromeda Yeah You Are +244Reply

Jesus can walk on water. A frozen lake is made of 100% ice, which is 100% frozen water, which is 100% water. I can walk on a frozen lake. Therefore, I am Jesus.

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@1441166

He's not a poser, he's the immigrant that tends to my bushes. It's an easy misunderstanding.

@I'm Jesus, because I'm Jesus.

I KNOW you did not just impersonate my son.

@Whacka Jesus can walk on water. A frozen lake is made of 100% ice, which is 100% frozen water, which is 100% water. I can...

Well I can walk on a frozen lake, made out of super water, which is 110% water, so I'm 110% Jesus!

@Sun

You're the Sun. You can't walk on anything without melting/obliterating it first. Sorry. :/

StickCavemans avatar StickCaveman Yeah You Are +13Reply
@StickCaveman You're the Sun. You can't walk on anything without melting/obliterating it first. Sorry. :/

I'm cursed to not be able to walk around... I have to float here in empty space. Enjoy what you're given, everybody, especially your ability to walk... (cry2)

Suns avatar Sun Yeah You Are +10Reply
@Sun

That comment certainly has the most dislikes I've ever seen.

so if you're 75% Jesus, and you're 75% water, Jesus is 100% water. I DRINK 2 LITERS OF JESUS EVERY DAY. and I pee 1.5 liters of Jesus every day.

Favvkess avatar Favvkes Yeah You Are +67Reply

And if they just went swimming, then you're 80% Jesus.

Sergs avatar Serg Yeah You Are +64Reply

Jesus can walk on water. Watermelons are 92% water. I can walk on watermelons.
I am 92% Jesus!

sansas avatar sansa Yeah You Are +59Reply
@sansa Jesus can walk on water. Watermelons are 92% water. I can walk on watermelons. I am 92% Jesus!

You can walk on watermelons? Now THAT is a miracle. I always loose my balance, with them being all rounded and rolly and all.

75% BLASPHEMY!

I can walk on carpet. Carpet is 0% water. Therefor, I am 0% Jesus...
DAMN IT I FUCKED UP AGAIN.

Kashishs avatar Kashish Yeah You Are +51Reply
@Kashish I can walk on carpet. Carpet is 0% water. Therefor, I am 0% Jesus... DAMN IT I FUCKED UP AGAIN.

It's okay. Just spill some water on your carpet. You can be like 2% Jesus.

Anonymous +55Reply
@It's okay. Just spill some water on your carpet. You can be like 2% Jesus.

But Shamwow's absorb water... DOES THIS MEAN SHAMWOWS ARE THE PRODUCTS OF SATIN??!

sb123s avatar sb123 No Way +38Reply

Makes sense.

@Bre Makes sense.

I think so...

Dwights avatar Dwight Yeah You Are +12Reply
@Dwight I think so...

Wow. I think Dwight must've known this would be POTD.

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Favvkess avatar Favvkes Yeah You Are +11Reply

I am God, therefore I am %100 Jesus.

God_the_Almightys avatar God_the_Almighty Yeah You Are +37Reply

LOGIC

rivals avatar rival Yeah You Are +36Reply

Trees are 90% air. I can climb trees. Therefore, I am 90% flying.
And then I leap out of the tree with my wings spread and I'm 100% flying.

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@1441800

I think your friend probably meant that if you hit a golfball towards a trees branches, there's a 90% chance it'll go through

Seems legit.

Anonymous +18Reply

I'm hungry.

@BetterThanEzra1119 Me too.

I ate a ham and swiss sammich.

@Roy

I posted this before it was POTD. Please don't hurt me Anthony?

Anonymous +3Reply
@Chips?

That's Zubat, silly.

@Chips?

I think I'll get banned if I answer that......

Jesus can walk on land, I can walk on land, therefore I am 100% Jesus.

aclw123s avatar aclw123 Yeah You Are +13Reply

I'm surprised there hasn't been a comment about shoving religion down our throats. But since I said it, someone is going to.

@OnePenguin I'm surprised there hasn't been a comment about shoving religion down our throats. But since I said it, someone is...

Here, let me do the honors. "I am a narrow minded bigot who practises intolerance and hatred as part of a supposedly peaceful loving religion. And your opinions are invalid and stupid because you blasphemed by saying you are Jesus. So you are going to hell, ok?" Haha. Satisfied? :)

deeviants avatar deeviant Yeah You Are +7Reply
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@1419951

And I love Stealth, and yet I also love Apples. Therefore, I love you too bro!

Dwights avatar Dwight Yeah You Are +16Reply
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@1420404

I like that... Amirite being a career. I'm going to put 'Everyday User of Amirite.net' on my resume.

StickCavemans avatar StickCaveman Yeah You Are +18Reply
@StickCaveman I like that... Amirite being a career. I'm going to put 'Everyday User of Amirite.net' on my resume.

It should be a career. I wouldn't mind working it as a 9-5 job, wearing a suit, and driving to the Amirite office every weekday slapping Dwight fives on my way to my Cubicle.

Voted up, signed in, then voted up again, well done

rubs forhead twice

Anonymous +7Reply
@Francois rubs foreskin twice

genie comes out of foreskin

To be fair we're all a bit Jesus-y. He was a human, so are we.

stoner logic... love it

Icels avatar Icel Yeah You Are +4Reply

Ha! Bitch, I can walk on jellyfish.

@Frozen Ha! Bitch, I can walk on jellyfish.

Hopefully you aren't attempting that without shoes. Those suckers hurt!

Aimzs avatar Aimz Yeah You Are +2Reply

Jesus has a beard. I do not have a beard. Therefore I am 0% Jesus.

KirstenAnns avatar KirstenAnn Yeah You Are +3Reply

Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water. I can walk on ice. Therefore I am 100% Jesus!

I am intrigued by this post.

Ramona_Flowerss avatar Ramona_Flowers Yeah You Are 0Reply

See this thread is what happens when you mix religion and science, makes no sense.

Wake90s avatar Wake90 Yeah You Are 0Reply

Nice comparison

Seedy3s avatar Seedy3 Yeah You Are 0Reply
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Fuck you. This was on my Facebook status last year.

Jesus.
Je sus.
Gee Zeus.......
Oh no! He's pagen! 0_o

Anonymous -5Reply

HIGHDEAS.COM

Anonymous -7Reply
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@1421432

for crediting the original site? c'mon now

Anonymous 0Reply

u shuldnt b calling urself jesus its bad cuz u rnt him so fuk yew

Anonymous