Twinkies are 98% air
I can walk on Twinkies
I AM 98% AIRPLANE.
It's not as fun as it sounds.
Jesus can walk on water. A frozen lake is made of 100% ice, which is 100% frozen water, which is 100% water. I can walk on a frozen lake. Therefore, I am Jesus.
I'm Jesus, because I'm Jesus.
He's not a poser, he's the immigrant that tends to my bushes. It's an easy misunderstanding.
I KNOW you did not just impersonate my son.
Well I can walk on a frozen lake, made out of super water, which is 110% water, so I'm 110% Jesus!
You're the Sun. You can't walk on anything without melting/obliterating it first. Sorry. :/
I'm cursed to not be able to walk around... I have to float here in empty space. Enjoy what you're given, everybody, especially your ability to walk... (cry2)
That comment certainly has the most dislikes I've ever seen.
I can't walk on water. Neither can kangaroos. Therefore I am a cantaloupe.
Cantaloupes can walk on water, though.
But granite countertops cannot!
Indeed, but a jeep, however, can.
so if you're 75% Jesus, and you're 75% water, Jesus is 100% water. I DRINK 2 LITERS OF JESUS EVERY DAY. and I pee 1.5 liters of Jesus every day.
That could be a cool phrase for saying you have to pee. "Brb. Gonna release Jesus."
I just jesused my pants...
And if they just went swimming, then you're 80% Jesus.
Jesus can walk on water. Watermelons are 92% water. I can walk on watermelons.
I am 92% Jesus!
You can walk on watermelons? Now THAT is a miracle. I always loose my balance, with them being all rounded and rolly and all.
Just cut them up. Walking on the slices is much easier.
I can walk on carpet. Carpet is 0% water. Therefor, I am 0% Jesus...
DAMN IT I FUCKED UP AGAIN.
It's okay. Just spill some water on your carpet. You can be like 2% Jesus.
But Shamwow's absorb water... DOES THIS MEAN SHAMWOWS ARE THE PRODUCTS OF SATIN??!
Don't diss the satin, it's a very nice fabric!
Shamwows have no religious affiliation
I think so...
Wow. I think Dwight must've known this would be POTD.
I am God, therefore I am %100 Jesus.
I thought he was your son? Or are you cloning yourself up there?
holy trinity, man
That isn't even real.
Trees are 90% air. I can climb trees. Therefore, I am 90% flying.
And then I leap out of the tree with my wings spread and I'm 100% flying.
since when were trees 90% air
I think your friend probably meant that if you hit a golfball towards a trees branches, there's a 90% chance it'll go through
what's the other 25%?
I ate a ham and swiss sammich.
I ate strawberries.
I posted this before it was POTD. Please don't hurt me Anthony?
You are 100% crobat
That's Zubat, silly.
I think I'll get banned if I answer that......
Cuz of pidgeons
Jesus can walk on land, I can walk on land, therefore I am 100% Jesus.
I'm surprised there hasn't been a comment about shoving religion down our throats. But since I said it, someone is going to.
Here, let me do the honors. "I am a narrow minded bigot who practises intolerance and hatred as part of a supposedly peaceful loving religion. And your opinions are invalid and stupid because you blasphemed by saying you are Jesus. So you are going to hell, ok?" Haha. Satisfied? :)
No I meant a comment complaining that people shove religion down their thorats.
And I love Stealth, and yet I also love Apples. Therefore, I love you too bro!
I like that... Amirite being a career. I'm going to put 'Everyday User of Amirite.net' on my resume.
It should be a career. I wouldn't mind working it as a 9-5 job, wearing a suit, and driving to the Amirite office every weekday slapping Dwight fives on my way to my Cubicle.
Voted up, signed in, then voted up again, well done
rubs forhead twice
rubs foreskin twice
genie comes out of foreskin
To be fair we're all a bit Jesus-y. He was a human, so are we.
stoner logic... love it
Ha! Bitch, I can walk on jellyfish.
Hopefully you aren't attempting that without shoes. Those suckers hurt!
The tops of them don't. Didn't you ever see Finding Nemo?
Jesus has a beard. I do not have a beard. Therefore I am 0% Jesus.
dwight's was posted two days before that
Dates. I saw this around but I don't really have a source.
Jesus can walk on water. Ice is 100% water. I can walk on ice. Therefore I am 100% Jesus!
I am intrigued by this post.
See this thread is what happens when you mix religion and science, makes no sense.
so yeah here's the link http://failbook.failblog.org/20...ails-god-math/
Fuck you. This was on my Facebook status last year.
Whatt?? he stole it from you??? what an asshole.
I know.. breaks my heart.
Oh no! He's pagen! 0_o
No, he's Jewish...
No, this is amirite.net.
I think anonymous was telling what he thought was the source, but as Dwight is my friend and anonymous didn't have the guts to say it un-anonymous... be quiet little kiddie.
Is that your favorite post? I really like this one: http://highdeas.com/hd/The_Crossroads
that's why they said "HIGHDEAS"
No this is SPARTA!
More specifically, http://amirite.net/638345
for crediting the original site? c'mon now
u shuldnt b calling urself jesus its bad cuz u rnt him so fuk yew
I think we might have a genius here.
Can't tell if trolling or just very stupid.
Nahhh this guy seems legit