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My girlfriend is pregnant and we never had sex. It's not outrageous for me to accuse her of cheating. amirite?

98%Yeah You Are2%No Way
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@OnePenguin MARY

Hahahahahaha!!!

Astronaut_Wills avatar Astronaut_Will Yeah You Are +3Reply

I seriously want to thank all of you. I was in such a bad mood when I posted this. Thanks for being awesome amirite community.

Astronaut_Wills avatar Astronaut_Will Yeah You Are +27Reply

Aliens. They're the only explanation.

Sergs avatar Serg Yeah You Are +14Reply
@Serg Aliens. They're the only explanation.

Hahaha that's better than her "it was your finger" theory.

Astronaut_Wills avatar Astronaut_Will Yeah You Are +18Reply
@Astronaut_Will Hahaha that's better than her "it was your finger" theory.

Clearly you have a newly discovered ability to move your sperm all the way up your body and into your finger. What happened, did it come out of your nail? I hate it when that happens. :/

Anonymous +1Reply

Jesus 2.0

ThatDylanGuys avatar ThatDylanGuy Yeah You Are +14Reply
@ThatDylanGuy Jesus 2.0

Ahahaha. I wouldn't even want Jesus as a son. He'd show me up.

Astronaut_Wills avatar Astronaut_Will Yeah You Are +5Reply

This reminds me of an episode of The Freah Prince. Carlton's ex came back out of no where claiming she was pregnant, but Carlton excepted the child as his even though he had never had sex.

SkylarOctaviouss avatar SkylarOctavious Yeah You Are +10Reply
@SkylarOctavious This reminds me of an episode of The Freah Prince. Carlton's ex came back out of no where claiming she was...

If I recall correctly, Carlton knew for a fact the child wasn't his, but he wanted it to be so he played along. It was more heartbreaking if anything.

OP, I hope you're not too broken up, you truly got the better half of the deal.

Anonymous +6Reply
@If I recall correctly, Carlton knew for a fact the child wasn't his, but he wanted it to be so he played along. It...

Yes, of course he knew, but his family didn't know it was a scam. Scamming bitches gonna scam :/

SkylarOctaviouss avatar SkylarOctavious Yeah You Are +7Reply
@If I recall correctly, Carlton knew for a fact the child wasn't his, but he wanted it to be so he played along. It...

Nah. I mean it really got me at first but there is nothing I can do about it so whatever. HONEY BADGER DON'T GIVE A SHIT! Why should I?

Astronaut_Wills avatar Astronaut_Will Yeah You Are +2Reply
@SkylarOctavious Why not?

Lolololol is that a serious question?

Astronaut_Wills avatar Astronaut_Will Yeah You Are +2Reply
@Astronaut_Will Lolololol is that a serious question?

Um no wary smilie
Lol kidding that was serious
the post is still funny and the episode was kinda funny. At the end he admitted he wa still a virgin so they kicked her out.

SkylarOctaviouss avatar SkylarOctavious Yeah You Are +1Reply

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.

Anonymous +10Reply

It depends on how psycho she is, if you masturbated or something by her, she could insert it in her in hopes of getting pregnant (unfortunately I've seen it done). If it's 100% absolutely impossible that it's yours, thank your lucky stars you found and how crazy this chick is before actually having a child with her.

Anonymous +10Reply

Christmas is coming. I sense the second coming is too... or she's just a cheating slut. but ya know... 6 to one, half dozen to another...

It'd be outrageous if you didn't accuse her of cheating....unless of course, you mind fucked her, in which case you have no right to accuse her of anything.

I was going to comment, but everyone already said wjhat I was gonna say. So I'll just throw this out there:
'Mmmmhmmm!'
(:

http://m.9gag.com/gag/900028

Funny this post reminded me of this.

9gagFan +1Reply

This happened in real life?! THE FUCK!!
O_O

Anonymous 0Reply

I'd seriously be getting a paternity test.

SpearmintMilks avatar SpearmintMilk Yeah You Are 0Reply
@SpearmintMilk I'd seriously be getting a paternity test.

Oh I know for a fact it wasn't me. We haven't done anything in 2 months and she's 5 weeks in. There's no need.

Astronaut_Wills avatar Astronaut_Will Yeah You Are +2Reply
@SpearmintMilk Ah, and she's still claiming it's still yours? How insanely dumb is she?

I think she doesn't want to look like a whore. Ummm. You've got one in the oven that's not helping out your cause.

Astronaut_Wills avatar Astronaut_Will Yeah You Are +1Reply
@Astronaut_Will Oh I know for a fact it wasn't me. We haven't done anything in 2 months and she's 5 weeks in. There's no need.

Did you do anal? Because it's possible for the santorum to leak into the vagina after anal sex, causing a baby.

@eldorito Did you do anal? Because it's possible for the santorum to leak into the vagina after anal sex, causing a baby.

No. Lol. But like I said to some one else we haven't done Anything fr 2 months and she's 5 weeks pregnant. And I'm no Asian but that doesn't add up.

Astronaut_Wills avatar Astronaut_Will Yeah You Are +35Reply
@Astronaut_Will No. Lol. But like I said to some one else we haven't done Anything fr 2 months and she's 5 weeks pregnant. And I'm...

The "I'm no Asian" part made me LTMS.

But yeah, that definitely does suck. If she were to keep the baby, would you want to be a part of the baby's life, out of curiosity?

@eldorito The "I'm no Asian" part made me LTMS. But yeah, that definitely does suck. If she were to keep the baby, would...

I want to be out of her life. So no. I don't need an extra tie to her. And as of right now it's going up for adoption.

Astronaut_Wills avatar Astronaut_Will Yeah You Are 0Reply
@Astronaut_Will I want to be out of her life. So no. I don't need an extra tie to her. And as of right now it's going up for adoption.

That's probably for the best. If parents aren't able to take care of their children (financially), then putting the child up for adoption is probably the best course of action. Give it to somebody who's financially able to take care of the child.

@AntiJokeChicken Why not try abortion?

That's her choice. Not my kid. I'd say it's cuz she's religious but that didn't stop her from getting pregnant at 17 now did it......dumb bitch

Astronaut_Wills avatar Astronaut_Will Yeah You Are +9Reply

That completely sucks! O.O But rather like this than there being a possibility that you're the father and finding out years later that that's not the case.

Deathelfs avatar Deathelf Yeah You Are 0Reply

Looking At that URL I don't want to go.....

Astronaut_Wills avatar Astronaut_Will Yeah You Are 0Reply
@Astronaut_Will Looking At that URL I don't want to go.....

It's funny really. I promise it's nothing bad.

9gagFan 0Reply
@It's funny really. I promise it's nothing bad.

That was genuinely funny. Is that entire site just rage comics?

Astronaut_Wills avatar Astronaut_Will Yeah You Are 0Reply
9gagFan 0Reply
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