Ok, this is kinda controversial, I don’t have a strong opinion on it so I wanna hear what others think – if someone is really truly miserable, they may have had depression for years, they don’t really have anything going for them, and they want to die, is forcing them to continue living and being miserable selfish? What if it doesn’t get better, and the next few decades of their life are equally as crappy and miserable? What if they don’t want it to get better, they just want it to end. I’m not saying suicide doesn’t hurt the ones left behind, it does enormously, but is it selfish to want a person to continue living when they want to die, just because you don’t want them to die?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

It really depends on the situation. As much as we would like to, we can't make blanket statements about anything. To make it clear, let's look at two extremes. One person has been diagnosed with severe depression and many other mental illnesses, and hasn't responded to any treatment. At the other end, there's a person who had a quick bout with mild depression who was brought out of it by some medication. Of course, it's not like one has any more right to commit suicide than the other. It's that one is genuinely hopeless (proven so by the lack of response to treatment) while the other is quickly feeling better. Convincing the less severe case (let's call them X) to stay away from suicide is obviously a nice thing - they can be treated and they can continue living their life. But for the Y (the severe case), trying to keep them away from suicide may be considered both a lost cause and possibly selfish. If you know for a fact they are to continue suffering until the end of their life, would you really want them to continue through that misery just for you? In my opinion, it's much like putting down an injured animal... (continued)

by Anonymous 12 years ago

(I'm aware that animals and people have a very different set of rights, but just for the sake of an example bear with me) - although it's a difficult and heartbreaking decision, sometimes the best thing to do is to let them go. If you have an animal with no legs who is blind and deaf (the animal parallel to Y), you'll probably put it down. If you have an animal who loses a leg yet still is able to enjoy their life (parallel to X), you probably wouldn't put it down.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

You're talking about depression like its some sort of sickness, something that only gets better with a certain amount of "treatment" I believe that someone starts to feel depressed when they feel that they have no purpose, even if thats just because they temporarily lost sight of it. Depression is all about the state of mind, and one views the world. Shit happens to everyone, perhaps some more than others, and a lot of shit over time is what causes a person to have that attitude towards the world. It isn't selfish to save someone from suicide because really what it takes for someone not to be depressed is for them to see what life really means for them.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

If only it were that simple. Unfortunately, it's not a conscious thing. I have a chemical imbalance in my brain - I'm depressed no matter what. It's not always about how much shit you deal with over time. It can be partially or fully hereditary. Sir, if not being depressed anymore was as simple as "seeing what life means for them," it wouldn't be such a widespread problem responsible for so many suicides.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I think people should have the right to some sort of medically assisted suicide (I think in some places they do, but I'm not sure). Not just anyone, though. Not criminals who are jailed for life, and not mentally unstable people, as people with depression or other illnesses can heal. However, if you're old, or dying of a terminal disease, or truly wish to die for a reason like that, you should have that option. What other people want shouldn't matter to you, if it's your life/death.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Thank you for posting this. On wednesday I got out of a two year relationship and I've contemplated suicide but everyone keeps calling me selfish.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

That's just insensitive. I'm sure you'll make it through, though. Good luck, bud.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

You shouldn't be able to relate to this post, to me it just looks like over-exaggerated whiny teen problems. Honestly, only two years for a relationship isn't that bad, people commit suicide for serious reasons.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

For a long time I was really depressed, and about 6 months ago I told my best friend that I've been thinking about suicide, but she called me selfish. I know how you're feeling and it sucks. :/ But I'm sure you'll get through it.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Two of my friends were in a relationship for about four months. He thought she was the love of his life. She didn't, and dumped him. He almost immediately tried to commit suicide twice, and when that didn't work, he tried making her life miserable. As of right now, she is in a new relationship that has been (strangely) going well for 7 months now and he has calmed down enough to be able to speak to her and her new bf and even joke with them. As cliche as it is, Time heals all wounds. :)

by Anonymous 12 years ago

My meager relationship advice - there are many fish in the sea. Right now, you will want tuna, because you have been catching tuna and eating it for the past two years. But now there's no more tuna. I know you're used to eating tuna, but perhaps you could keep an open mind and maybe try some trout or salmon? Because you never know, you might like that better than tuna. If you're still hurting about the tuna fish being gone and all, take a short break from fishing, and then get your head in the game. Perhaps try our some new bait, or whatever. Do what you are comfortable with.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Look... It's just another high school relationship. No matter how long it lasts, that's all it is. There is no need to even consider ending your life because of it.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

If they cant deal with it let em kill themselves more air for me

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Can't tell if good-heartedly joking or overly rude...

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Not cool.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

damn i didnt know i was trying to be

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I this post. Literally. I do. Whenever I try to explain this to people, they're all "BUT THE FAMILY" and "BUT THE FRIENDS" and "IT'S NOT FAIR" and "YOU'RE TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT AND THEY HAVE TO SUFFER". In all honesty, I think one person being hurt x100 each fucking day until old-age death is much worse than 2-3 people being hurt x20 for a few years until they learn to live with it and just have a sad memory remaining.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

You think that only 2-3 people are hurt per 1 person that dies? There are so many more than that for each person.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Well, the others such as casual friends or distant relatives are also hurt, but they're only as hurt as, let's say... seeing a cute newborn koala get eaten at the zoo. It's still sad, they still feel bad for it, but in a couple months they forget about it, since it wasn't a big part of their life. I'm talking about the people in whose life the suicide person was a BIG part, such as the two parents and the 1-2 best friends of a person. Siblings are optional. Besides, it changes depending on the person, like say if that person were very social they would have a whole group of people to feel sad, but if it were a quiet foreigner new-kid, there'd barely be even one person.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I beg to differ, but I won't argue it this time.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Why not?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

The argument is that suicide isn't the answer and that problems like depression can be helped. People can save someone from suicide and get them some help so that they don't have to feel awful everyday until they get old and die. Ya know?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

That's not true for all cases.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

This is way, way, WAY too situational for me to feel comfortable just saying either yes or no to.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

No problem, but do you still wanna voice your thoughts?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Like I said, it's so situational. There's a huge difference between a teenager struggling with their identity in high school and a mature, seventy-year-old man who's already lived his life and lost most of his ties.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I 100% agree with this post. I have struggled with suicide and depression for several years, a place I only got to because I destroyed myself inorder to help others. I destroyed myself to try and save a friend from destroying them self with drug and alcohol addiction. I destroyed myself to keep my family from falling to pieces. I was left in a place where the voice in my the back of my head would not stop shouting 'kill yourself, it's so easy. You're too far gone to keep living' and I could no longer tell it that it was wrong. I have gotten help, but even though there is beginning to be light in my life again, I honestly don't think this long struggle will ever be over. If you can honestly say that taking my life in this situation would have been selfish I would love to hear your reasoning.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I mean absolutely no disrespect in anything that I am about to say. Sorry if any of it sounds harsh. If you killed yourself, your parents, siblings, friends, classmates, etc. would feel the loss. A few years ago there was a boy at my school that killed himself. I didn't know who he was. I didn't even know his name, but after he died, I felt the effects of his death. I was crushed because some of my friends were crushed because some of their friends were crushed. It was a chain reaction that spread through the whole school making everybody hurt. His death also started a two-week period where three or four other kids at the school attempted (but thankfully failed) to commit suicide. I understand that you were in pain and in a tough spot in life, but it sounds like you are an amazing person. You put everything you had on the line to help your family and other people. That's so admirable. The world cannot afford to lose people with your compassion and dedication. You are doing a favor to everyone by simply living and by dying you would cause more pain to others as a whole than you may have been feeling. I hope all turns out okay for you and you find peace in your life soon.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I understand your position completely on how loss doesn't simply affect those who knew the person directly, but the whole community. Also, I would like to thank you for what you said about me. I've been waiting for any kind of 'thanks' for three years and you cannot comprehend how much that ment to me. Thank you.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Maybe people don't want you gone for selfish reasons. Maybe it's because they know that someday you'll heal and they don't want you to throw away your life before you've hardly had a chance to live. But, not wanting someone to commit suicide solely because you'll miss them is selfish.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Not only that, but the person who is intervening could possibly be adhering to this: "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"

by Anonymous 12 years ago

A few years ago, my stepmom committed suicide. And up until this post, I thought she was selfish for it. She was severely depressed and there was really nothing that could be done. That being said, I think this post has to deal with age. With teenagers, it's not selfish. They haven't lived life. They just believe that high school is supposed to be the best time of their life. When in reality, it's not. Anyone In their mid 20s get the right to commit suicide whenever. They've experienced life and are mature enough to decide whether or not they want to die. I'm not saying I approve of suicide. I'm saying it's their choice. Also protip: telling a suicidal person that someone loves them will not help. Generally they aren't in their right mind and either will not care, or will deny it.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

It's so hard to tell. Every case is different, and the less severe ones shouldn't end so brutally. especially since there is still a shimmer of hope of getting better.But with those who are seriously depressed, it's just hard to comprehend that there's absolutely nothing that can make it better for them. And why wouldn't anyone want for things to be better? At that point, it just seems like the person is giving up and not caring anymore, about their well being, or anyone else that cares about them. I can't imagine being trapped in that mindset, it would be horrible. And if truly, things are so bad, and have been that way for too long, where in which is suicide would be the only thing to put you at peace, maybe it's alright. The bad part about it all though is that there isn't any closure. The person who committed suicide was obviously troubled, and everyone else is blaming themselves for it. I've gone through someone killing themselves recently, and theres been that guilt of wanting to have done something to prevent it. No one likes getting that sort of surprise. So idunno. None of that made sense. I just don't want people to kill themselves, especially for the wrong reasons./:

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I agree. If someone is going through something so bad that they consider taking their own life then they don't think about their friends and family. If you're about to kill yourself you would probably think they're better off without you. I don't think anyone sits around and decides that they are going to make everyone who knows them cry by killing themself.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Even though I'm just a 16 year old kid, I'm gonna be as selfish as possible if I think it'll stop someone from committing suicide. I honestly don't care, there are some people who just cannot die at this time that I need.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I would have agreed with this post wholeheartedly before September 9th 2011. A boy named Trey at my school hung himself. Exactly four months later, this event has turned SO many people either suicidal or depressive, and has sent many into drug-abusive and self-destructive behaviors. Although we weren't super close or anything, over the course of our high school career, he was my boyfriend's best friend for a while and my best friend's boyfriend for a long time. Not a day goes by without me imagining how his parents feel when they wake up every day, knowing their youngest son is gone. Or how his girlfriend has also developed some of the same self destructive behaviors and tendencies resulting from his death. Or how guilty his best friends must feel, even though they knew about his depression and did everything they could to stop the tragedy. Trey's pain was real, more than any of us could imagine, but his death was, and is, not worth the pain he left behind. Anywho, suicide is selfish. I'm honestly kind of mad at Trey for hurting this many people. We'll never have the chance to reverse what happened, because he's gone. Forever.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

This is a very iffy topic that not many people are comfortable talking about. The way I see it is everyone has the right to live and should have control of their life. If they want to die it's their choice. What many fail to understand is there are various factors that contribute to suicide and they aren't aware of them. In other words the reasoning behind it. Example: You hear that some teen, we'll call him "Ernest," committed suicide because he didn't feel loved by his parents, family, friends, etc. and you think that's a dumb excuse. For all you know Ernest was gay and his parents, family, friends etc. disaproved and he saw no other way out. Or he was just really spoiled and didn't get the car he wanted for 18th birthday. There's just a lot of variables that we aren't aware of. I will say this, if I were ever to commit suicide I would have a good damn reason behind it. But that's the thing we all have a different opinion on what the appropriate circumstance/reason in doing so should be.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

ARE YOU THE REAL SIMON? Is it really you after all this time? I thought you had forsaken us.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I'm going to go against the majority opinion here. I think killing people (even yourself) is almost always evil. There are exceptions of course like killing someone who is attacking you or who is a major threat to society (like Hitler or Gaddafi). I think killing yourself for a cause: sacrificing yourself on behalf of others, setting yourself on fire to protest oppression ect. are good but killing yourself simply because you are unhappy is selfish and wasteful. It's understandable to kill yourself if you have mental issues that really do prevent you from being happy (my uncle committed suicide for this reason) or if you're mentally unstable because of some trauma (PTSD) and just can't deal with life. Even then, It's understandable but still not morally right. I get that people are going to be offended by me calling everyone who committed suicide immoral. But honestly, it's what I believe and I was very close to two different people who committed suicide. There are so many problems in the world-hunger, poverty, inequality, genocide. No matter how miserable you are, it just seems evil to waste your life by sucide instead of using all the life you have to benifit others.

by Anonymous 12 years ago