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Public transport is more fun than people give it credit for. You can be sat there when suddenly, BAM. Resident weirdo walks on, sits next to you, and you get a 10 minute story about how he fought apes in Vietnam with his Henry Hoover. Of course, the alternative is that you go home with 16 new undiscovered illnesses from touching anything, amirite?

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Getting 16 undiscovered illnesses isn't THAT bad. It makes for a great story to tell people on the bus.

Every day after school I would get on city transit and a woman with bright red hair would sit in front of me. And everyday I'd watch as she plucked out hairs on the back of her head, and snap them into smaller and smaller pieces. The noticeable bald spot on the back of her head would grow everyday, but she never seemed to take notice. Eventually I stopped seeing her on the bus, I always wonder what happened to her, and what she was planning to do when she ran out of hair to pluck.

On the same bus is an obviously mentally challenged man who everyday boards the bus with a bouquet of flowers. Who the flowers are for I've never found out, but everyday there he is, flowers in hand, sitting at the front of the bus and trying to start conversations with the people around him.

Makes you wonder.

Tells_Storiess avatar Tells_Stories Yeah You Are +43Reply

Some of the most interesting, hilarious, and insane things I've heard and experienced have been on the subway, so much so that the beginning of this post isn't even an exaggeration. I don't know about the disease thing, though.

_Jojo_s avatar _Jojo_ Yeah You Are +17Reply
_Jojo_s avatar _Jojo_ Yeah You Are +4Reply
@and what was it?

I meant to write "things." There have been many disgusting instances like when this homeless women got up, and we realized her pants and underwear were down. Then we looked to see urine running down the seat as she got up for her stop.

_Jojo_s avatar _Jojo_ Yeah You Are +1Reply

I went on the bus once.

The person behind me kept sneezing on my neck, the black chick next to me was talking to some probably other black chick named Cherise, the guy across from us was babbling incoherently, and we're all pretty sure the guy in the back actually crapped himself.

Never again.

GryndStones avatar GryndStone Yeah You Are +17Reply

Some drunk dude was giving away free money on the bus. True story.

@PurpleZebra Some drunk dude was giving away free money on the bus. True story.

I was at Subway once, and this guy ( I'm pretty sure he was homeless) gave out change despite our refusals, and then he went outside and stared at everyone through the window.

_Jojo_s avatar _Jojo_ Yeah You Are +4Reply

and it's entertaining for, you know, other reasons...
http://ctrlv.in/86111

Favvkess avatar Favvkes Yeah You Are +12Reply
@ctiscooler I've got one more good reason.

Is this the part where we post porn?
Some crazy stuff happens on trains... especially to cheerleaders.

@Kashish OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'M TELLING ANTHONY

Nooooo no fairrrr! It was on Tosh.0, it can't be that bad if it was on TV! Then again, my mom always makes me change the channel when I watch that.

ctiscoolers avatar ctiscooler Yeah You Are +5Reply
@Kashish What if Anthony is your mother... :O

Then I must be a demigod like Hercules, except empowered with computer skills and a nerdy yet whimsical charm instead of super strength.

ctiscoolers avatar ctiscooler Yeah You Are +10Reply
@ctiscooler I've got one more good reason.

The best part was when two men on the train relocated to seats that were closer to the, um, show.

a_fetuss avatar a_fetus Yeah You Are +3Reply

Would I still get those illnesses from touching myself? Because I do that on the bus and it usually turns out okay.

Once, while boarding the Montgomery Bus, all the seats were full so I had to ask this black woman to leave the bus. She bitched like crazy, though, and started about something stupid like "black rights." The crazy bitch was arrested and convicted of violating the laws of segregation later, though, so she got what was coming for her. You just can't trust black people, especially ones like Rosa Parks.

@YeahIAm Once, while boarding the Montgomery Bus, all the seats were full so I had to ask this black woman to leave the bus...

I know what you mean. Racism the Deep South against whites and our natural, GOD GIVEN superiority is getting out of control.

"I had braces when I was sixteen! You know what else happened when I was sixteen? I got hit by a plane. NOT A CAR, NOT A BUS, NOT A TRAIN, BUT A MOTHAFUCKIN PLANE!" -Random lady on my bus

Fred_Weasleys avatar Fred_Weasley Yeah You Are +11Reply

Now I feel unsafe about the fact I've taking public transportation since I was 2... and all the weirdos I've seen were either loud, homeless, stanky, looked sinister or all of the above... am I broken or something?

Skr3wBalls avatar Skr3wBall Yeah You Are +10Reply

What if i want the stories AND the illnesses.

I love public transport. It's so interesting and hilarious to just see how people act. If you're observant about everything around you, it's so entertaining to just watch people. Especially when they have no clue whatsoever.

actbadlookgoods avatar actbadlookgood Yeah You Are +8Reply

"Public transport is more fun than people give it credit for. You can be sat there when suddenly, BAM: you see the Brooklyn Academy of Music

Favvkess avatar Favvkes Yeah You Are +7Reply
@Favvkes "Public transport is more fun than people give it credit for. You can be sat there when suddenly, BAM: you see the...

"BAM, and then it hits you."

That came to mind immediately after reading this post. Those ads are all over the subway.

_Jojo_s avatar _Jojo_ Yeah You Are +6Reply

A hobo kept trying to sit on my lap on the subway yesterday.

I've sat next to a meditating Canadian and a talkative lady before; which was fun. Then I've sat next to a whole group of loud debating Christian Xhosa people. When they got really excited they switched over to English, just long enough to distract.

One time a fat fast-food worker lady went on the bus next to me (it was late at night) and all of a sudden I felt something weird on my leg, but I figured it was just me for a second. Then it moved on around my leg... and moved faster.

It was so dark that I couldn't see anything, so I brushed it off and when I felt a weird "shell" from some sort of bug, I kind of whimpered and pulled up my legs from it getting back on. My mom told me to stop being immature and that it was gone now.

By the time that we had gotten off the bus, the cockroach that was on me was seen 3 different times and was half-killed but still moving. Two adults literally pissed their pants after seeing it. The bus driver was almost crying when she heard there was a cockroach on her bus.

After we got off, I felt like my face was permanently frozen like this: http://www.myfacewhen.com/100/

Never ridden public transit before.

KirstenAnns avatar KirstenAnn Yeah You Are +1Reply

Cocaine is one hell of a drug

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