Public transport is more fun than people give it credit for. You can be sat there when suddenly, BAM. Resident weirdo walks on, sits next to you, and you get a 10 minute story about how he fought apes in Vietnam with his Henry Hoover. Of course, the alternative is that you go home with 16 new...

Now I feel unsafe about the fact I've taking public transportation since I was 2... and all the weirdos I've seen were either loud, homeless, stanky, looked sinister or all of the above... am I broken or something?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

What if i want the stories AND the illnesses.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Go ahead and touch the storytellers then.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

and it's entertaining for, you know, other reasons... http://ctrlv.in/86111

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I've got one more good reason. http://youtu.be/93VTNQvCim4 hello

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Is this the part where we post porn? Some crazy stuff happens on trains... especially to cheerleaders.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Well, if you want to go there, then... (Note: not porn, but NSFW.) http://bit.ly/a8J4b3

by Anonymous 11 years ago

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'M TELLING ANTHONY

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Nooooo no fairrrr! It was on Tosh.0, it can't be that bad if it was on TV! Then again, my mom always makes me change the channel when I watch that.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

What if Anthony is your mother... :O

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Then I must be a demigod like Hercules, except empowered with computer skills and a nerdy yet whimsical charm instead of super strength.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Do you have a British accent, too?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Only when I talk about the weather.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww nasty

by Anonymous 11 years ago

The best part was when two men on the train relocated to seats that were closer to the, um, show.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

http://bit.ly/LcmLwa

by Anonymous 11 years ago

"Public transport is more fun than people give it credit for. You can be sat there when suddenly, BAM: you see the Brooklyn Academy of Music

by Anonymous 11 years ago

"BAM, and then it hits you." That came to mind immediately after reading this post. Those ads are all over the subway.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Getting 16 undiscovered illnesses isn't THAT bad. It makes for a great story to tell people on the bus.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

And the cycle continues...

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Some of the most interesting, hilarious, and insane things I've heard and experienced have been on the subway, so much so that the beginning of this post isn't even an exaggeration. I don't know about the disease thing, though.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I should add that it is also where I have seen the most disgusting thing, too.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

and what was it?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I meant to write "things." There have been many disgusting instances like when this homeless women got up, and we realized her pants and underwear were down. Then we looked to see urine running down the seat as she got up for her stop.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Some drunk dude was giving away free money on the bus. True story.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I was at Subway once, and this guy ( I'm pretty sure he was homeless) gave out change despite our refusals, and then he went outside and stared at everyone through the window.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I went on the bus once. The person behind me kept sneezing on my neck, the black chick next to me was talking to some probably other black chick named Cherise, the guy across from us was babbling incoherently, and we're all pretty sure the guy in the back actually crapped himself. Never again.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I love public transport. It's so interesting and hilarious to just see how people act. If you're observant about everything around you, it's so entertaining to just watch people. Especially when they have no clue whatsoever.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Cocaine is one hell of a drug

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Every day after school I would get on city transit and a woman with bright red hair would sit in front of me. And everyday I'd watch as she plucked out hairs on the back of her head, and snap them into smaller and smaller pieces. The noticeable bald spot on the back of her head would grow everyday, but she never seemed to take notice. Eventually I stopped seeing her on the bus, I always wonder what happened to her, and what she was planning to do when she ran out of hair to pluck. On the same bus is an obviously mentally challenged man who everyday boards the bus with a bouquet of flowers. Who the flowers are for I've never found out, but everyday there he is, flowers in hand, sitting at the front of the bus and trying to start conversations with the people around him. Makes you wonder.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

That just gave me a story boner. Holy shit. Write a book, please.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Thanks!

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I hope you were talking about the man with the flowers, not the lady picking her hair out.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

They were both interesting. I wanna know what happens!

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I guess that explains his username.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Would I still get those illnesses from touching myself? Because I do that on the bus and it usually turns out okay.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

A hobo kept trying to sit on my lap on the subway yesterday.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

One time a fat fast-food worker lady went on the bus next to me (it was late at night) and all of a sudden I felt something weird on my leg, but I figured it was just me for a second. Then it moved on around my leg... and moved faster. It was so dark that I couldn't see anything, so I brushed it off and when I felt a weird "shell" from some sort of bug, I kind of whimpered and pulled up my legs from it getting back on. My mom told me to stop being immature and that it was gone now. By the time that we had gotten off the bus, the cockroach that was on me was seen 3 different times and was half-killed but still moving. Two adults literally pissed their pants after seeing it. The bus driver was almost crying when she heard there was a cockroach on her bus. After we got off, I felt like my face was permanently frozen like this: http://www.myfacewhen.com/100/

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Once, while boarding the Montgomery Bus, all the seats were full so I had to ask this black woman to leave the bus. She bitched like crazy, though, and started about something stupid like "black rights." The crazy bitch was arrested and convicted of violating the laws of segregation later, though, so she got what was coming for her. You just can't trust black people, especially ones like Rosa Parks.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I know what you mean. Racism the Deep South against whites and our natural, GOD GIVEN superiority is getting out of control.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

"I had braces when I was sixteen! You know what else happened when I was sixteen? I got hit by a plane. NOT A CAR, NOT A BUS, NOT A TRAIN, BUT A MOTHAFUCKIN PLANE!" -Random lady on my bus

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I'm guessing she was black.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

You are correct.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Did she tell you how she got hit by a MOTHAFUCKIN PLANE? Because I really wanna know.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I should've asked her but she sort of scared me. You know, just a little.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I do not feel you deserve to be Fred-underscore-Weasley

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I've sat next to a meditating Canadian and a talkative lady before; which was fun. Then I've sat next to a whole group of loud debating Christian Xhosa people. When they got really excited they switched over to English, just long enough to distract.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Never ridden public transit before.

by Anonymous 11 years ago