Guys shouldn't feel obligated to like fat girls. Beauty may come in all shapes and sizes, but being fat is your own fault and you shouldn't make other people conform to you because you have an inferiority complex. I like what I like, stop telling me otherwise, fat girls, amirite?
I agree with some parts of your post like not being obligated to like every body shape and that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. But being fat isn't always the person's own fault and they don't always have an inferiority complex. I feel like you could have made your point without shaming anyone's body type.
There are numerous reasons why someone might be overweight, you can't just assume that they haven't worked hard enough to get into shape.
There are plenty of reasons that being fat is not a simple matter of “choose not to be fat”.
There are a whole plethora of medical reasons conventional dieting and exercise may not work for people; IBS, diabetes, thyroid issues, PCOS, side effects of medication for other issues, disability, etc. These are all exceptionally common too; PCOS alone effects 20% of female-bodied people.
Then there are all sorts of psychological reasons. Depression is a major one; it’s no secret that eating, quite simply, makes people feel better. Common signs of depression also include lethargy, apathy and oversleeping. And, what do you know, when people eat and sleep to feel better, they tend to put on weight. And don’t tell them to just stop eating. These are people live everyday with depression, some of them maybe even suicidal, and you’re asking them to remove the ONE crutch they find actually helps them feel better? It’s not going to happen, and you shouldn’t expect it to.
Not to mention sociological effects. Food is always seen as a social event; think of pretty much any holiday and you’ll find “going out to eat” is always appropriate. Food is also seen as reward; growing up, sweets are the go-to reward to placate children. All this adds up to, throughout adulthood, food is seen as a reward, and it is antisocial to refuse to participate in food-related celebrations (pretty much every one).
It’s great that you managed to get slim. But that’s YOU. And there are an awful lot of people out there who are NOT you. Don’t imagine yourself in their situation; imagine them in their situation. Of course everyone knows THEY‘D do the right thing in any hypothetical situation because it’s easy to make that claim when you will NEVER have to back it up ever.
I didn't say all fat people have a medical reason for being that way did I? Of course that is not the case. I just said you can't assume that they don't, it's really rude because you have no way of knowing if they do or not. And good for you that you were able to do that, but did you ever think that not everyone has the same experience as you and might have more than one thing contributing to their weight gain? Maybe you have a good metabolism and your age probably helps too. I know a girl who got a rare case of arthritis and had an average figure before then had to go on steroids to treat the arthritis but because of the type that it was it didn't help the pain at all so she couldn't exercise and gained a lot of weight really fast despite hardly eating at all. So fuck you for saying that it is all her fault, you try living in her shoes and then having people look at her and judge her for being overweight.
There are a ton of fat people, and im pretty sure most of them do not have thyroid issues or something. And i know your gonna say something about the disabled being unable to help themselves, i broke a vertebrae and had a compound fracture in my leg, and was still able to work around it and stay fit by eating healthy and special exercise. Its not impossible. it is better to be honest with yourself. You cant find the right person? Try actually looking for someone. Your not doing good in school because of an awful teacher? Try studying and working harder. I digress, your not big boned because your parents were, you are fat and its all your fault, honestly.
@GiggityGoo22 Some people have physical health problems that keep them overweight, whereas other people have mental health problems (i.e. eating disorders) that make it very hard for them to lose weight. You seriously have no idea how much of a struggle weight/food in general is for some people.
I'm not trying to emphasize how bad I was, I really wanted you to notice that I got better, I resorted to cutting and just hurting myself, because it gave me a kind of a venting feeling, It is bad, but it really is easy as changing your attitude, people just can't seem to be bothered to do that.
Well - not being snarky but - it really is great for you that you're happier with your situation.
Now being snarky, but it is not as easy as changing your attitude. I'm very glad that every adversity you've faced so far has had that work, because that was pretty lucky. However, there are obsticles other than "attitude" in the world, and A LOT of that is other people, which is why changing the stigma around being fat is important. A lot of people will use "it's unhealthy" to 'justify' it, but those people are making excuses, because constantly victimising others does not exactly do wonders to their health.
It's great that in your exact situation with your exact life until that point and your exact attitude, that that worked for you, but that does not mean it will work for everyone because, as I said, pretty much nobody else is in your situation. And even if they can fix it - so what? Is it really so difficult to just respect other people when they do you absolutely NO harm whatsoever?
I feel as if I am repeating myself a lot here so - really not to be rude - but I will likely stop discussing this now. I will gladly reply if you want to make more points though. :)
eating was my way of dealing with getting picked on for my size/depression, so it was a vicious circle, being overweight or being different in middle school is something I wish on no one, then i put those feelings into excercise, not making a sob story, just saying, no matter how messed up you are, with the right attitude you can accomplish anything
I understand how it may not seem a lot to have a great attitude and it really isn't, but it was that attitude which was the initial spark, of course I got counseling and started dieting and exercise, I am still never going to be healed, since food was an addiction, I could easily become addicted again, yes it is still a struggle, but my attitude keeps me from falling back again, I have no points to discuss, thanks for the only constructive argument I've ever had on this issue
Did you see what i posted, i had a freaking broken vertebrae and leg and my family has a problem wih being overweight and I do know how it is, i used to get picked on for being fat, and i spent time feeling sorry for myself, and then got clinically depressed, i actually made an effort to get skinny, and did, I feel far better than i did then, quit saying shit like that, you are making it sound like some people are meant to be fat, i listened to self righteous people like you, and used that as my excuse, then i realised I could lose weight, and that you people have no clue or really care about who you support. You guys just say stuff like that for looking good or karma points
I do not say it for "looking good" or "karma points", I do it because I genuinely care about other people. That's not a difficult concept.
Once again, you are having trouble imagining any situation other than your own. There are people who are NOT in your situation, and have not lived your life. There are factors of people's lives you fail to take into consideration quite simply because you will never have to live it. And that's FINE. But it does mean you should think twice before you victimise people for their circumstances. It's really awesome you managed to break that cycle, but it really is as simple as saying; not everyone can. Having the "right attitude" is not the solution to all life's problems - if it was that easy, nobody would HAVE any problems, would they?
Fat people are just people who wear their problems on the outside. Some people cope using alcohol, but you can't see that when they walk down the street. Some people use drugs, self-harm, escapism, or lash out at their friends and family. But you can't see those either. Some people eat. You can see that and, unlike other addictions, someone addicted to food can't avoid it; they have to deal with it everyday.
Face it, there's nothing that is binding that person to their weight. If they work hard enough they can get in shape.
I especially get annoyed at one of my friends that always post things like "Men need to like women with curves," "real women have curves," etc.
OK I get it, and I agree to a point, but you're not curvy, you're lumpy.
And people also don't understand that a girl can be skinny and curvy.
That's so true! People always say things like that and
I hate it. There's a difference between fat and curvy. Most of the time, "curvy" people are just fat.
No one is obligated to like anyone.
But you should still treat fat people (scratch that, all people) with respect, and telling them disrespectful crap like they have an "inferiority complex" and that it is their "own fault" (it is not always) is what makes you a jerk, not your lack of attraction to them. Fat people aren't asking for your devoted love and attention. They're asking for a little respect, which you should be giving them (like other people) anyway.
It's all right not to feel sexually attracted to a certain aesthetic. It is NOT all right to shame that person for it.
That applies for everything not just being fat. Some people dont like skinny, others - acne, etc, but I dont think that makes them shallow or smth like that. After all, nobody is perfect, so people should just learn to love themselves the way they are and maybe someday they'll find another human being to love them as well.
P.S. Man,thats a lot of thinking and I havent even got my coffee yet.
I agree. When I was younger I was always called fat because I was overweight from medication (steroids) and I had asthma so that made things difficult. I'm off steroids and my asthma has greatly improved. I work out a lot and eat right but at 5'5 age 17 I weight 165. That's overweight. I don't look like it but the weight won't go away. Is it my fault I'm "fat"? My best friend had an eating disorder because people called her fat and ugly. She's strong now and in the national guard. Yes people shouldn't h e to like anyone but everyone deserves respect.
I'm really torn about this one.
No, people shouldn't be expected to be attracted to everyone. I do however diagree with "Being fat is your fault"
Sometimes, it is. Sometimes they were born with a slower metabolism. I eat more than friends who weigh more than I do, I just don't gain weight easily.
Saying that gets us into the dangerous eating disorder territory.
I also disagree with the "you shouldn't expect society to conform" part.
I think the movement is to stop girls from being called ugly because they're fat.
That being said, I do sometimes feel a little offended when someone says they feel skinny girls look "Creepy" or "Unhealthy"
I've never had to deal with feeling fat, but I have had to deal with people calling me annorexic.
Like I said, I just don't put on weight easily.
Why can't people just accept that not everyone is made the same and not everyone is attracted to the same thing?
Yeah, nobody talks about the girls that get picked on for being skinny. I get called anorexic all the time and boys tell me to "go eat a cheeseburger". But I also have my mom telling me to eat less and lose weight. So even skinny girls get pressured to change their bodies.
I'm pretty sure most people wouldn't call size 5 fat. Now, 18 and maybe even size 10 is what people start to see as fat or chubby.
Also, women's sizes are made for length and made more so to fit than junior and children sizes.
I'm sure there's an equivalent for girls. But if a guy said he doesn't like to date overweight girls, he will be called shallow or something like that.
I'm between a size 3/4 and 5/6 people don't say I'm fat they say the opposite actually. They ask if I eat anything. I wonder where you live where people call size 5 fat.
You make it sound like picking on the "actually obese kids" for being fat is okay.
I don't understand WHO calls these people fat. Maybe it just where I live, but most girls at my school are either a healthy size or a little overweight. The only people I would label as "fat" is the obese kids. So nobody calls the slightly overweight girls fat because everyone's like that. I never see anyone being picked on for their weight except the actually obese kids.
No, I just observe those kids getting picked on. I never said it was ok. Sorry if I made it sound that way!
No it's fine, I just didn't know how you meant it.
When someone asked me how my dream girl would look, I was afraid to say thin; I was scared of being told that was offensive.
I'm not trying to offend anyone. I'm also not trying to say that only thin girls can be attractive - I actually have been attracted to at least one girl who's overweight. It's just that a higher proportion of the girls I have been attracted to are thin, than that of the general population.
I wouldn't ever be mean to someone of discriminate against them based on weight, but I would like to be able to tell the truth about this without being accused of doing so.
What about something like Cushing Syndrome to counter your "Face it, there's nothing that is binding that person to their weight. If they work hard enough they can get in shape."?
Well the majority of people aren't fat because of that, and blaming it straight up on something like "low metabolism lol, which you obviously can't change," is the normal response and also completely wrong.