+657 It would be helpful if each city came with a guide for people who had just moved in so they don't have to look stupid in front of locals. "New residents should invest in close-toed shoes and watch out for ants every spring. Commonly used make-out spots include the junkyard and riverside park, and we have an inside joke involving doughnuts due to a drunk man who accidentally dialed our local radio station.", amirite?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

This is a sick idea but your town is hurting if a make out spot is a junkyard.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

That's a trashy make out spot.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Well I think it's a great spot for dirty behavior.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Come on you guys. We should recycle.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

@Favvkes According to when you loved my comment, it took you about an hour to come up with that joke.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

How small is your town.....?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Given two hours and agreeable weather I can, and have, walked from one side to the other.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

My town takes 10 minutes to walk a cross

by Anonymous 12 years ago

A whole population of 59.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

its not even in the south, it's in NJ. also for the record 14,000

by Anonymous 12 years ago

It takes about half an hour to walk across my town. Population: 1,000

by Anonymous 12 years ago

i've never walked across my hometown, but population 50,000.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Oh god I can't walk across mine at all. pop: about 10,000,000 well I live in the suburbs so if we just count that I would say it takes over an hour to walk across but I've never tried because it's too confusing and hilly. 200,000.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

i live in the suburbs too i just count my suburb's population. not the chicago metro area population

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I live in an average sized city, I would say. I wouldn't be able to walk across it, but for all intents and purposes, my city is very much divided into the Northside, the Southside, the Eastside, and the Westside. I could walk across the Eastside where I live in 2 hours or so. My entire city's population is 55,000 or something like that.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

But that ruins the fun of laughing at tourists!

by Anonymous 12 years ago

He said helpful.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

It* lolwut

by Anonymous 12 years ago

"Weed can be bought here, here, and here."

by Anonymous 12 years ago

We should have one of those for amirite too! "Time macne and futur refer to a really old post that didn't make any sense, turnips are rewards, Anthony is GILF (G as in God), and Favvkes is the local crazy cat lady."

by Anonymous 12 years ago

GILF is already a word for grandmother though.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Anthony has some secrets he'd rather not have let out.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

This is my explanation from one of the comments on that post. "Actually I think it mean that if someone comes go the future and we know about it, then there is a supreme being controlling the universe. But if no one comes ten it is iffy. That said, if we build a time machine, we would try and go back in time, but then if we do, the timeline changes and no one will know about it. Since the timeline can change like that, then there is no omnipotent God. Therefore, we can go to any point in time because nothing will stop us, making us first, before anything, which would all exist in the future."

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I read machine as macne

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Don't forget Tia!

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I wasan't on here for the tia jokes. What are they?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

"Used as a generic blaming tool. When asked who performed the action in question, you blame it on Tia. It can be used when you don't know who to blame or when you don't want to confess. This phrase was first made popular in the amirite.net community in August 2010. Tia was a fake persona created by a member of the website to be used as a scapegoat, but she was soon being passed the blame for other incidents by other members too." Someone really should make a full guide.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Oh haha I feel stupid, I just searched for a user named Tia

by Anonymous 12 years ago

The Tia meme died pretty quickly and wasn't really that funny, or is it just me?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I didn't think it was funny either but it's an important part of amirite history.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

So Tia is like Ross but just for Amirite?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Tia was the perfect example of when someone tries to force a meme.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I just remembered in upper primary (grades4-6) our class had one of those babies that when you water it grass grows out of its head. We called it Spuddie and whenever something went wrong the whole class would shout," WE BLAME SPUDDIE!"

by Anonymous 12 years ago

"I'm gonna get drunk today." "Oh yeah? How drunk?" "**Powdered doughnuts** drunk." "Whoa!"

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I imagined your avatar to be saying the last line, and it made it much more funnier...

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I really appreciate the detail put in to this.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I wish my town had a town-wide inside joke.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

In my town it's, "If you want to buy beach badges, you have to go into town. If you don't want your bike thrown in the lake, lock it up. If you wear socks and sandals, you will be ridiculed, shunned, and pointed the other way when you ask for directions. If you don't want to get run over by a New Yorker, don't cross the street. And - most importantly - if you are from New York, GTFO." Gotta love the Jersey Shore.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I'm from the pine barrens. Socks and adidas flip flops are really popular. It looks atrocious.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Well it really varies by town, but if you don't live right on the water, it's going to be completely different.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

"GTL stands for gym, tan, laundry." "Oompa Loompas are common here." "There are no Thursdays here. Just Jersedays."

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I wish I lived in whatever town this is written for. My town is boring.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

hm. my town would be along the lines of "Get used to hearing 'yins' 'n'at' 'buggie' and 'pop'. Be careful if you're trying to correct anyone on those words, they are easily offended. Everyone roots for the Stillers. If it's your birthday, Eat n' Park is the place to be. And if you see Grady walking, be prepared to give him a ride."

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Pittsburgher too? I live in a rich suburb, so we usually make fun of people who talk like that and make fun of ourselves for being stereotypical white kids.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

About an hour outside of Pittsburgh. There is no seperation here: rich people and poor people talk like that, so nobody cares. Except people who aren't from around and just don't know how.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Mine is more, "You can buy weed in the next town over. You can buy food in the next town over. We almost have a Walmart, but it's actually in the next town over, like the weed." I live in a really small suburb. (cry2)

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Even people who have lived in the town that I currently live in for their whole life don't understand it.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I live in Orlando I feel like it would just have page after page of "No, we do not go to Disney all the time" "We are not on the coast, you can not have an ocean veiw" "No, we aren't all tan" "Disney actually isn't a huge part of our lives"

by Anonymous 12 years ago

you can't forget universal man

by Anonymous 12 years ago

True, but when people care more about Disney, though not everyone likes it better.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

This is so true. I've never even been to Disney World.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Where I live it'd be like, "If you want to drink and you're underage, go to Quebec. If you're gonna use the buses, get to the stop 10 minutes before the time it says. Maybe even 15 minutes. The water is gross but you can still go swimming, just shower quickly after."

by Anonymous 12 years ago

NYC: Move out of the way when subway doors open. Ignore the hobos. Avoid tourists who ask you to take pictures for them, they'll only want more and more. Dont acknowledge the Mexican train performers, they'll serenade you for money. And don't visit Times Square unless you have to. It's not worth it, seriously.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Chicago: Navy Pier is a tourist attraction. So is the water taxi. O'Hare is better to fly in and out of then Midway. You say you're from Chicago but you're really from a suburb about an hours drive away. You still call The Willis Tower "The Sears Tower" even though it's not. And it's not that great.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

*Ron White's Big Ol' Goddamn building

by Anonymous 12 years ago

i like Midway better because its closer n has better food

by Anonymous 12 years ago

where I live there is absolutely nothing to do, unless its stampede. stampede is ten days in july, where pretty much the whole city dresses like cowboys (sorta) and drinks excessively.

by Anonymous 12 years ago