So you're just confirming that it is selfish? Cause you said they're missing the point, then provided an example that shows that is is selfish.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Listen, you dumb cunt. It's NOT in any way selfish. Until you've been in our shoes, you can't judge us. I've wanted to kill myself before because the pain was almost unbearable. The way I saw it, my family was selfish, keeping me alive and in pain. We're not taking things for granted. We're not depressed because we don't appreciate things. We're depressed because our brain chemicals fucked up. So like I said, until you're in our shoes, don't judge us, and don't assume you know what depression is like just because you shed one tear every few months.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

lol you are some retarded people to assume that I have no idea what I am talking about. I've been there, I almost killed myself from ODing on meds. So please stop being an actual cunt Supersukh, although you're prrobably just a retard and not one. I know the feeling of helplessness and depression, so don't say I assume everyone see the world like I do. I saw the world as they did, and you know what? I got better. I can at least speak for more suicidal people then you can, so maybe you should stop making dumb assumptions about people.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

So actually you are in my shoes you dumb son of a bitch.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

and again, its still selfish to think that you know that they don't care for you. You don't care how they feel, just yourself. Definition of selfish.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Let's be honest here supersuck. If you mean pain like chronic borderline unbearable untreatable PHYSICAL pain, I see your point, thank you for having the strength to go on. If you mean psychological depression then you're sounding borderline teenage dramatic. 'Our' shoes would mean someone who commited suicide, as that's who this post talks about. But when you say 'our' shoes you are meaning people that are sad. It's pathetic. Grow up, put some big girl panties on, and move on. Don't give me the chemical imbalance shit because I've been there. I tried to kill myself, and for good or bad the rope from my neck to the chin up bar snapped. So i had a good cry like a pussy, Then I said "You know what? I think this pity parade is over, you have had hard times in your life? Get in line with everyone else, stop being a little bitch." So I got off my ass, stopped taking experimental anti-depressants, got a part time job, worked harder in school, and told myself I wouldn't let myself get there again because I refuse to believe I am really that weak. So I guess im in 'Your' shoes champ. And thats why I call bullshit on everyone who says they have absolutely NO control over their depression.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

This comment fucking infuriates me. You're SO disrespect. You call bullshit on everyone who says they have no control over their depression? Yours wasn't chronic. You haven't fucking dealt with it for 5 years nonstop. You suddenly snapped out of it. That doesn't always fucking happen. I tried to kill myself in 7th grade and I've wanted to end my own life since then, and you're telling me that's bullshit. You're so horribly insensitive, that's the real pathetic thing here. It's not a fucking matter of "grow up, put some big girl panties on, and move on." Are you fucking kidding me? There are so many people in this world that have TRIED to do that and just because they can't you're going to be insanely disrespectful to them? It's not that easy. Not everyone can snap out of it like you can. Chances are, you didn't have it that bad if you could just stop feeling like that oh so easily. It's not bullshit, you idiot. It's real shit. If you refuse to recognize that you're definitely not helping. Keep dumb shit like that to yourself.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Suicide is NOT a selfish act. You all say that they're leaving their loved ones behind and hurting them, but that really only makes you selfish. How can you expect this person to continue living through all the pain that their life is giving them? To go through the feeling of being invisible, like they have no one to confide in? To go through feeling like everybody that once loved them has now abandoned them? And to go through feeling that everyday the walls are closing in on them and that everyday they are sinking further and further into despair? Into loneliness and heartache? How on earth can you expect someone to live with that all the time, just to keep everybody else happy? It's not like it's their duty to make everyone happy. So stop being selfish yourself and think of the individual for once.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

@ Monopolygamy and Sobriquet: Yes yes I definitely see why you (M) would respond with so much hostility, that's what my view usually gets. And Sobriquet I definitely understand your views and actually a few of them that I share led to some of my depression. Yes mine was chronic. When I was 16 I got quite a severe concussion in a car accident which resulted in a headache that I would learn I'd have for the rest of my life. Apparently a part of my brain had taken a lot of damage right near the brain stem, and my pain was caused by that injury attempting and failing to heal itself together, repetitively forever. The pain makes everything more difficult and joyless at the best of times, the rest of the time I feel like it's redefining the word agony. I battled with this until I was about 19 where it was decided that the pain would be permanent and I started taking vicodin hp and percocet to manage what was beyond managing. At 24 I married the woman of my dreams, and at 26 she divorced me claiming 'Because of the pain medication she didn't believe who she thought I was was actually me, she thought she was marrying a different person from who I was without it' I didn't agree with that

by Anonymous 12 years ago

But Unfortunately divorce is a one way decision. 26-29 was my dive into depression and a less than human mentality of living where I lived very alone and desperate without knowing how desperate I was. Life began to eat at me, I hated myself just a little less than I hated everyone else, their apathy following their pity towards me inspired my hatred. Finally I decided death could in no way be worse and I hung myself in my apartment. I blacked out so I don't know how long, but at some point the rope snapped and I woke up on my floor. What follows is what you've already been told. I'm still in barely manageable pain, and I've held on to many of the bitter misanthropic views I share with (S) but I created myself new, and even if I can't find enjoyment I live in contentment. That's my story. It is the sole inspiration for my views on depression, you can see why someone in my shoes could get borderline offended to hear of a 9th grade girl who calls herself depressed beyond fix and kills herself because her parents split up. Maybe my ideals are skewed, but they definitely give me a different perspective on some people's so called 'depression' without cause, stereotypically in teenagers.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

That definitely changes things, but I still fail to understand how in the world you could have that stance on depression. For the record, I'm a junior (11th grade, not 9th..) and I was diagnosed with a chemical imbalance - my birthmother has severe depression, bipolar and borderline disorder and my birthfather had severe depression. To make everything all the better, I was adopted into a family in which my mother is constantly dealing with bipolar disorder and taking her manic episodes (as well as depressive ones) out on me and my father is an extremely perverted alcoholic. I'm genuinely sorry to hear your story, and I do apologize for the hostility I had earlier. Not all depression has a clear root. The chemical imbalance in my brain leaves me with no choice. Growing up and putting big girl panties on won't do shit, I'll still want to kill myself. Just because I'm a teenager doesn't mean my mental illnesses can't be valid.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Oh, wow, I also just noticed a bunch of typos I made in the original comment. I don't even know what was going on there.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I actually didn't read this entire conversation, so John, I'm only replying to your first comment. I meant we like anyone who has a mental disorder. Not we like people who killed themselves. And to the bitch who first commented, no one's selfish. A lot of suicidal people legitimately think nobody cares. None at all. This is a bit confusing, but back to John. Like I said, chemical imbalance. Maybe if I tried extremely hard, I could be happy again. I don't know. But part of the reason I'm depressed, other than chemicals, is because of my problems. I can't fix them. A family fight thats been going on since 7 years before I was born? Regrets of things I didn't do? Homesickness? Home life being destroyed by father? I don't have control over those things. And maybe you're just a rare Case or something. A lot of depressed people I know can't just get over it. A lot of people I know who got over depression needed a lot of help. We're a bit tight on money, so I'm going to hold off therapy until that gets better.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

@Sobriquet: I'm not saying suicide is selfish, but in response to your comment that suicidal people believe no one will care that they were gone, that isn't always the case. My mom killed herself, and she knew it would hurt the family. In the note the wrote to me, she said "I'm sorry for how much this might hurt you," and in the note to my grandparents she wrote "I know this will kill you." My mom knew that people would care, but she did it anyway. Again, I'm not saying suicide is selfish, I'm just showing from experience how your statement can sometimes be false.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

@hpnerd, that's true but it's not exactly selfish to decide what you want to do with your life. It's your life. It's your choice.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

@SuperSukh: I didn't say it was selfish, I was just disagreeing with Sobriquet's statement.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

That's stupid. I disagree with the whole selfish thing, but I also disagree with the rest of the post. We're not missing anything, we understand there are a few people who care and who would get upset, that's one of the reasons it's so hard to kill yourself in the first place. We just think a little bit of selfishness - making our parents and siblings/friends miss us and be sad we're gone - doesn't compare to the amount of misery and torture that WE will experience if we continue living. Either way someone will get hurt, with our suicide the damage will be less.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I kind of agree. It's like you know people will be sad, but it gets to the point where it's too much and you can't even let yourself think about that.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

well Nacklefoodle, I wrote this post and I suffer from severe depression. I suppose our cases are different but in my case, I realize that perhaps some people will mourn for me.. but it doesn't really sink in, if that makes sense. I realize they will cry and sob, but somehow I just don't believe it'll effect them for that long. It'll be as if some distant relative or neighbor died; they'll cry at the funeral, go home and in a few days they'll be fine again. Even as I type this, I'm aware of how ridiculous it sounds to expect my parents to be "fine in a few days". My brain is telling me it's wrong, but it's not registering. On a deeper and bigger level I still believe they won't care.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

That makes complete sense. I mean it doesn't in the rational world, but it does to me. Like obviously you know they'll mourn, but you figure that ultimately they'll be better off. You can't let yourself think about the truth... the truth that their world will be shattered, because part of depression is a sort of disconnect between you and everybody else. Hope you're doing all right.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

So many people obviously don't understand that depression is a MENTAL ILLNESS. It is not the normal feeling of sadness that people feel when their friend moves away or they break up with their boyfriend or their cat dies. It's a completely different being. It is a complete lack of happiness, joy, and hope. And until you've been in that place, you cannot judge people that are. When I hear that someone commits suicide, I'm very saddened. But I would never believe that it is a selfish act. It is an act of a very desperate, scared, confused, and broken person. It is a last act of resistance toward the evil, evil thing living inside of their brain and forcing them to hate themselves. It is not a choice you make to spite others. So, thanks, OP, for finally understanding that.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Fucking thank you. Exactly my thoughts.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

THIS. Please like, buy a billboard and put this on there. Write it in the sky. Post it on Facebook. Become a public speaker. I have never agreed with any sequence of words so much.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Thank you midnightcookies. I wrote this post and I suffer from severe depression, so I suppose I have more of an insider's take on things. Depression isn't just a sadness. It's a monster. For me, I'd describe it as the feeling of drowning, or trying to hold up something big and heavy constantly. It's much bigger and stronger than a normal sadness. I thank you for realizing this. And monopolygamy... didn't you say several comments ago that suicide WAS selfish, and to just "put your big girl panties on"?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

No, John_MacTavish wrote that. monopolygamy disagreed with that statement. And I know how you feel, OP. Well, not completely, because I don't think that my depression could have been categorized as severe, but maybe. It may not be depression at all. It could be bipolar disorder or a bad anxiety disorder. I haven't been to the psychiatrist yet. But the point is I was thinking about killing myself. Fortunately things have gotten a little better for me. I hope you find that things do get better for you. I know it's a long struggle and it doesn't go away overnight like so many people like to believe.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Oh I see. Whoops, wrong person... my bad, monopolygamy. and I wish you the best as well... I'm glad things have improved for you. Please never go through with it, we'll both get through it together! ^-^ #sappinessalert

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Same for you! *hugs*

by Anonymous 12 years ago

No worries. Thanks for clearing that up, midnightcookies.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

There was a boy who recently committed suicide in my neighborhood because of bullying so I've been thinking about how I feel about it a lot lately. On one side I think it's selfish because I know his family cared about him and it seemed like a bunch of the kids in school did too (but I saw that on facebook and after someone dies, everyone acts like they were the person's best friend even if they barely knew them so I don't know how actually true that is). And the boy was also only a Freshman in high school so I'm sure if he just waited it out, it would get better. But at the same time, I know depression is actually an illness and it seems at the time that nothing will get better and that no one actually cares. But either way, it's still really sad that someone that young would feel the need to end their life over that.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

While many would say it is an act of selfishness because of the supposed depression it inflicts on others, one might also question what debt we carry to others? Does meeting someone mean that I must live for their happiness? While it is a selfish act in the truest sense of the phrase - an act carried out in self interest - I would contend that this isn't something to condemn as our bashing of it would be in our own self interest. It is an act of self-indulgent hypocrisy to require someone to live through their sadness because we want to limit our own.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

That last line EXACTLY. People don't seem to understand that severely depressed people often think of themselves as incapable of being loved. So when someone does express concern, it's not that they don't expect it, it's that they just can't understand how someone could even care BECAUSE THEY CAN'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THEMSELVES. That is why it is a mental illness, not a passing 'feeling'.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I don't think it's thinking nobody loves you and nobody misses you, it's more about the -extent- to which people will love and miss you. Depressed people aren't totally blind to the fact that their families will mourn their deaths, but they think that deep down they're existence is really just a burden, and everyone will ultimately be better off without them, even if they don't see it yet.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I feel it's a very selfish act, I have been very close to the edge, never actually tried but serious thoughts about it. When you are about to do it it's selfish because all you are doing is solving your own problem with no regard as to how others will feel.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

but as I stated in the post, you do not think anyone else will care at all.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Not necessarily.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Its not that you don't think anyone will care its that you are thinking irrationally and don't realize you could hurt other people

by Anonymous 12 years ago

You're talking about people who feel like no one cares for them and they're worthless, with the mindset of "they won't miss me when I'm gone." What you're saying doesn't make as much sense for people who feel under appreciated (not exactly the right term, but the best I could think of), with the mindset of "I'll show them, they'll miss me when I'm gone, they'll be sorry." But besides all that, I never think of someone committing suicide as selfish, I think of it as sad that they were in such a mental state that they felt it was necessary.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Communication is key in depression and other mental disorders. If a suicidal person does not tell anyone about their feelings then how can anyone truly know? People can't relate to a suicidal person because half of the time they don't speak about their thoughts and they assume others will just ask about it. Subtle hints don't hell anything. Been there done that. And you have to remember, the suicidal person is someone's child, grand kid, friend, secret crush, and maybe even a parent. They try and help not because of selfish motives but because of love. They want the best for them, not a premature death. Most of it is really just communication. If I would have talked to someone about my depressing thoughts sooner..I believe I would be much more stable today and not have really even attempted suicide. Considered it maybe but not attempt it like I did. On both sides- the struggling person and those who love him or her- there are selfish motives. It's not entirely just to call out one side being completely selfish and one being righteous for a lack of a better word.

by Anonymous 12 years ago