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Different people have different love languages. For example, my love language is words of affection: nothing makes me feel more loves than a spoken or written compliment.
A very close friend of mine's love language, however, is quality time. Nothing makes her happier then spending quality time with her boyfriend.
Her boyfriend's love language, however, is gifts, which is basically the same as money. He tends to feel most loved when e receives gifts, so he shows his love by giving, just as I show my affection for people through compliments and my friend shows her love with quality time.
I don't see how showing your love through money and gifts is any less acceptable than a compliment or quality time if it's your love language.
If you're willing to spend money on them, it shows you care about them... seems pretty logical to me.
How about spending some time with them instead? My grandparents on my dad's side always gave us a bunch of money for birthdays and Christmas, etc. My grandparents on my mom's side always did things with us, went on trips with us, things like that. I was way closer to my them than my dad's parents because they showed their love by actually being with me, not just by giving me money.
Well it takes time to earn money so there's that. Also, why can the person not spend money AND time on the person? Is that not possible? I agree that only spending money and doing nothing else is wrong, but I think it's pretty likely they spend time together too.
I never said they could not spend money as well. But that is very different than just using money to show love. And yes, I know it takes time to earn money but more than likely the person is not earning money just to spend on others. I'm pretty sure OP meant only using money to show love, because what would it matter if they also showed love other ways?
Okay, but you ignored my other point. That's fine though. But OP worded this post as if whenever someone uses money to show they care about someone it's sad.
"And who cares if they don't earn money just to spend on others? It's not like they get free money just to give to loved ones that they don't need to work for."
No, you don't get free money to give to people. Is that better?
Okay fair enough. But if they work hard to earn money and decide to spend it on someone they care about there really shouldn't be a problem.
If OP meant it is sad that people use money to show love in addition to showing love through other ways, then why did he not mention that? You are grasping at straws.
What was your other point? I thought I had responded to your comment quite sufficiently.
I just think it's wrong to use money as the only way of showing someone that you love them. You obviously have a different opinion, and that's cool.
I never said spending money on someone is a bad thing. I said using money as the only way to show love is bad, in my opinion. Because I know what that feels like.
Okay fair enough.
If he meant only using money and not spending time with the person, why did he not mention that? And who cares if they don't earn money just to spend on others? It's not like they get free money just to give to loved ones that they don't need to work for.
Then what's the problem with it?
Money is a tangible thing that can show someone that you care. Though it may not be as meaningful to some people, tangible things like gifts and money are a clear way to show how much you love someone.
Spending money on someone is spending money you will never get back in the case that you separate. You spend money on a loved one to show commitment, that you are planning on staying with them long enough to have not wasted that money just to dump them a month in the future.
However, it is sad when that is the ONLY way to show someone you love them.
Well yeah. But it's not when people do it occasionally or even alot. But no, I don't think you can buy love.
No, to me the reverse is true. I think it's sad when people expect love to be shown by money spent.
Though, to address your post I disagree. Both of my parents grew up very poor. So when they had us kids they wanted us to have better lives than they did. (Which is common, of course.) So to show their love all throughout our childhood we were given ridiculous allowances and pretty much every material thing that we wanted because they never had anything and to them it felt like they giving us a better life. The thing is, they were both great parents and did all sorts of great parenty things besides.
Looking back I wish they hadn't though. I was pretty spoiled as a child, and though thankfully I outgrew it, I wish they didn't feel as though any of it was necessary. But I understand why they did.
I like getting presents.
Your girlfriend buys you a new watch, you're so excited that you can't stop kissing her, tells you she loves you, and you spend the rest of the night together.
Your girlfriend tells you she loves you, and you spend the rest of the night together.
Hmm..