Sometimes being a teenager in a long term relationship (over a year) has far more negative consequences than positive ones, amirite?

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Fun_Ghouls avatar People & Celebrities
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True, but I don't think this only applies to teenagers.

Anonymous +18Reply

I know a couple that seems like that. They don't even seem romantically attracted to one another, but they've been dating for maybe two years, so it seems like they just keep on dating because they've gotten thus far.

But, hey. I'm no mind reader. Maybe they're deeply in love and are counting the days until they're old enough to get married without parental consent.

Relationships suck.

Anonymous +10Reply
@Relationships suck.

Bad relationships suck.*

@Relationships suck.

Wanna know how I know you're single?

jraaeys avatar jraaey No Way +1Reply

I've been with my boyfriend for a year and three months and we're going to be juniors. Its a long distance relationship too. I'm not exactly the most emotionally stable person out there so if my boyfriend and I saw each other all the time instead of once a month like we do now I'd probably become dependent on him. But some I live my own life we don't have these issues. It really all depends on the relationship and the people in it.

I really admire teenagers who are able to manage a relationship.

kipkayifys avatar kipkayify Yeah You Are +5Reply

I totally agree, but give a few examples?

Emaphinas avatar Emaphina Yeah You Are +4Reply
@Emaphina I totally agree, but give a few examples?

Becoming too dependent on one person, low self esteem, lack of self identity, things of that nature

Fun_Ghouls avatar Fun_Ghoul Yeah You Are +24Reply
@Emaphina I totally agree, but give a few examples?

I have been on and off with the same guy for the past two years, and now we are done for good. I have dated nobody but him for almost 3 years, and I promise it's not easy. I don't even know how to have a relationship with anyone else, let alone a physical one, seeing as how we never got to see each other and only kissed once. Pus, there's a lot of emotional crap left over after the relationship ends.

BellaDolores avatar BellaDolore Yeah You Are +2Reply
@Emaphina I totally agree, but give a few examples?

Colebowl, I don't want to be a downer, but be careful with these decisions. Being in college changes people. I'm not saying that you two can't make it. I've seen it work, and it's wonderful. But don't hinge most of your life around this person unless BOTH of you are certain, and the compromises are reasonable. Long distance is hard - almost impossible in some cases. But it could be worse having it end and then being stuck at the same school. There are a lot of factors to consider, and you should consider what kind of stress your relationship can handle. If it can handle long distance (it sounds like it would be hard) then don't force a same school situation. Just be careful with these choices. And good luck to the both of you =]

Wynauts avatar Wynaut Yeah You Are +2Reply
@Emaphina I totally agree, but give a few examples?

I agree anon that a lot of people make important decisions and fuxk themself over. But I do know who I am and I have high self esteem, it's just I've been with by boyfriend for 2 and 1/2 years and the reason talk and compramise on other things like w're to go to school is becaue we can't stand to seperate because we want to have a life together. We've talked about marriage and I don't want to thow away our relationship by things like far distance, we're going to try compramising about what our future will be like.

@Emaphina I totally agree, but give a few examples?

We're going to be careful, and I'm positive our relationship can handle that because it's been through so much worse. And both of us want to go to either one of two universities in two years we just need to figure out which one cuz they're both nice. Thanks smile smilie I know it will be hard I was just pointing out that whatever decision I make won't be because of low self esteem or not knowing who I am or being afraid to be alone.

Wynauts avatar Wynaut Yeah You Are -1Reply
@Emaphina I totally agree, but give a few examples?

Yeah... We never got to see each other. Different schools, different grades... Oh, and his mother didn't want to see her 16 year old son "grow up" by letting him date.

BellaDolores avatar BellaDolore Yeah You Are -2Reply

I definitely agree. One of my friends has been in a relationship with this guy for almost a year and a half, and she's way too wrapped up in him. Even though they have stupid disagreements all the time, she can't imagine her life without him. She always thinks he's going to break up with her and then she gets really upset and scared. I think this happens too often with people in their first relationship. It's like the only identity they have lies with the other person. In my opinion, people should learn to stand on their own before getting involved in such a serious relationship, and when you're still in high school, you haven't really had a chance to be independent and learn who you are yet.

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Well of course there are exceptions, but in my experience most people don't entirely know who they are in high school. And even if you do have your own identity, most high schoolers have never had to be independent, and I feel that that's an important thing to have done when going into a serious relationship. Otherwise, it becomes too easy to rely on the other person.

I've been with the same guy for almost a year now, and I completely understand how teens get all those problems listed above when they're in a relationship this long, but, I guess compromise plays a big role in these kinds of relationships. I live my life and he lives his, and we're pretty okay with that. It's the amount of trust that plays a huuuuge part in all of this. I am entirely dependent on myself and if I need to feel confident in myself, I just put on something cute and walk out the door. But, I guess we make it work because... we try to be our own selves.

I've been with my boyfriend for four years now, and we couldn't be happier. sure it would be fun to date around but I've never felt limited and I wouldn't give up what we have just to date because I "don't know who I am."

Anonymous +1Reply

I have been with my ex from 17 to 22, so last year of high school and all of college. I never really did love him, but stayed with him because I was scared I wouldn't be able to get anyone else, out of habit and because we'd 'already gotten this far'. Worst mistake of my life, I was unsure about it after we had been dating for a few weeks and my life would've been different (for the good, I think) if I had broken up with him then and there.

Myranias avatar Myrania Yeah You Are 0Reply
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