Cheating is natural, humans aren't naturally monogamous. Just because you cheat on someone doesn't mean they're not good for you, similarly, just because you got cheated on doesn't mean it's because of you.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

If you have your partner's permission to fool around/hook up/sleep with someone else, it's not cheating. If you can't be monogamous, you shouldn't be with a partner who expects monogamy.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I don't know why you said that first sentence. To the rest, why not? People fuck up, it's called forgiveness. Just cuz you don't always meet someone's expectations doesn't mean you shouldn't be with them, if that was the case no one should be together.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I was trying to clarify what cheating is, and what it isn't. If your partner doesn't expect you to be monogamous, you are not cheating by being with someone else. If a potential partner expects to to be monogamous, then you have to choose whether you'd rather be monogamous with that person, or not be with them at all. If you can't be monogamous, you shouldn't be with a partner who expects it.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I'm aware of what you said and what it means, just not how it's relevant. If you're not going to be with someone because they don't always meet your expectations, have fun being single.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

What justification do you think there is for cheating on someone who's right for you?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I never said it was justified, but how about nature, evolution, and the fact that humans are not supposed to be monogamous so acting exactly how a human is supposed to act? It doesn't automatically mean they're not right for you just because they made a human mistake.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Humans have gotten far beyond what they are "supposed" to do. We're not "supposed" to have such a long life span, or live through cancer, but we can. We can also be monogamous. Personally, I don't consider myself emotionally capable of nonmonogamy. If you feel that monogamy is against your nature, you shouldn't enter into a monogamous relationship, since there are other options. So a person who does not want to spend the rest of his or her life with only one partner should not enter into a relationship with someone who would not allow him or her to see others.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Just because you cheat doesn't mean you don't want to be in a monogamous relationship or that you knew you didn't want to be in a monogamous relationship before entering the relationship. Take me and my ex, we've both cheated, but we both wanted to be with just each other. So for a while, we did and we were happy. Then we broke up for other reasons, not cuz the cheating, and cheating wasn't the indicator that we shouldn't be together, it was distance time and school. Just cuz humans have come a long way from doing what they're supposed to doesn't mean there isn't going to be slip ups. People still die of cancer and have short life spans, people still cheat even if they really love their partner and are compatible with them. Cheating doesn't have to ruin a relationship and be the end of it or that you aren't good for each other, me and my ex were great for each other except the fact that we never got to see each other. If you don't want to be with someone because they don't always act how you want them to, have fun with that.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Thanks for editing that comment so now my super long one is irrelevant. I cheated on my partner for no good reason other than I wanted to have sex with this really hot guy I gave into temptation, I fucked up. But we were still happy together after it happened, and we were happy right up until we decided we couldn't be in a relationship anymore for other reasons.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

If you liked your partner better than the person you were cheating with, why would you cheat? If you liked the person you were cheating with better, why wouldn't you break up with your partner? Also, cheating is not necessarily the REASON you should be with someone else. It could just be a sign that you aren't satisfied with the relationship. And if you aren't satisfied, you shouldn't be in it. Case in point: you and your ex. You both cheated, and later realized you didn't want to be together anymore.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

And the only comment I "edited" was one that I deleted in an attempt to remove your repost... so I'm not sure what you're upset about.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Did you even read my comment? We WANTED to be together but we decided we //couldn't// because of distance and always being too busy to even see or talk to each other, and distance and being busy weren't even an issue when the cheating happened. We were perfectly happy together, there was nothing missing from our relationship. You replied to my comment 20 seconds after I said it, you're not absorbing or even reading anything I'm saying at all and keep making the same arguments. Goodbye.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I'm going to have to disagree with you Colebowl. If you're in a committed relationship you have no reason to cheat. If you and your SO don't have a healthy sexual relationship then you guys need to talk about it instead of saying "Oh, I guess I'll just sleep with someone else since they're not putting out." I could not forgive someone who cheated on me. I understand that people make mistakes, but something like this isn't a small mistake. They know what they're doing when it happened.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

People don't always cheat because they're not satisfied with their sex life? You couldn't be with someone who cheated on you, that's fine, lots of people couldn't, that doesn't mean cheating is an indicator of unhappiness in your relationship. Sometimes it's plain old lust.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I think cheating is a very strong indication of unhappiness in a relationship. If you and your SO have a strong happy relationship you should be able to control the urge to sleep with someone else.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

1. If you were reading my comments you'd realize I copied and pasted the one I posted twenty second after you, because I was in the middle of editing it, having read and understood your comment, and decided to get rid of your repost by deleting my comment and reposting it. You commented again in the meantime so my plan didn't work very well. Oops. 2. If you can control your lust, do. If you can't, don't be in a monogamous relationship. See how easy that was?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

So I shouldn't be with someone I really really love and who really loves me because of the off chance I might make a mistake? That's stupid, I'm not going to miss a really good relationship just because I know there's a chance I'm going to get my feelings hurt or hurt their feelings. Apply the same concept you're using for cheating to any other common mistake made in relationships. Yeah, it's really easy to say it. If it was so easy to put into practice then cheating wouldn't happen.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

If you cheat on someone you doing more than hurting their feelings. You are hurting their trust, their self confidence, and their opinion of you. It's not something to be taken lightly. If you truly love that person you wouldn't cheat.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Cheating's not really a mistake. A typo is a mistake. Turning left instead of right is a mistake. Cheating is very intentional. You knew what you were doing, and should think about why you did it. If you and your ex really truly loved each other, and really truly did not care that each of you slept with someone else, then maybe, if you ever move closer and get back together, you should talk about not being monogamous. That doesn't mean you can't be partners, it just means that you're allowed to sleep with other people occasionally and not be cheating.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

He cheated on me and it didn't change my opinion of him or huty my self confidence. Besides those things, there's all sorts of things that happen in a relationship that do those things. Like when you think they're ignoring you, when they really are ignoring you, or when they don't like to talk and hang out as often as you like to, accidentally insulting them, hanging out with people you'd rather they didn't, being insensitive, lying. Did you really just try to tell me my own feelings toward another person? Cuz I'm pretty sure you don't know how I felt. I rode a bike nearly 25 miles to see him once because I hadn't seen him in so long, I'd say that's love. You knew what you were doing when you turned left instead of right and it was still a mistake. And I wouldn't want to not be monogamous and give him permission to sleep around, I realize being monogamous isn't natural but I still like to feel special.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

You're okay with this guy cheating on you? Honestly, you're okay with him having sex with another girl, imagine it, him and her in bed making nasties. You're okay with that. That's not healthy if you ask me.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Did I say I was OK with it? No. I forgave him for it, if it was something I needed to forgive him for I obviously was not OK with it. If I was ok with it, it wouldn't be cheating. Why does it even matter if I truly loved him, how is that relevant to the post?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

''If I was ok with it, it wouldn't be cheating.'' - short comment, LMFAO.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

My thoughts exactly. If a teacher is okay with you getting answers from another person's test it's still cheating.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

What?^

by Anonymous 11 years ago

It's the same logic. Just because you're okay with him cheating doesn't mean he didn't cheat. He still did. It's the same with my teacher student example.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

*colebowl achieved great butthurt*

by Anonymous 11 years ago

No, Somepony, that's not true. If a teacher says, "This is your test, don't share your answers," then sharing answers is cheating. If the teacher says, "This is a collaborative test, you may share your answers," then sharing answers is NOT cheating. Some relationships are like collaborative tests - a partner can say, "I love you, but I don't mind if you sometimes sleep with other people." You may not understand it, but it happens. Monogamy is not the only option.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Cheating: Act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage, esp. in a game or examination, deceive or trick. If you've got your teachers permission, it's group work not cheating. If you've got your partners permission, it's an open relationship not cheating. "If you have your partner's permission to fool around/hook up/sleep with someone else, it's not cheating" OPs words. What exactly about this implies great butthurt? And have either of you ever cheated? Why are you trying to tell them if they cheated, it's because they weren't happy because the only reason people cheat is because there's something missing from the relationship? Like you'd really know the aspects of a stranger's relationship or why people do the things the do, especially if you've never done the thing you're judging. It's stupid to even say if you really loved them, you wouldn't cheat, you don't know how someone else feels. Just cuz you wouldn't cheat if you really loved someone doesn't mean you can say anyone who loves their partner wouldn't cheat, that's really closed minded to just assume everyone should think of it the same as you. It's not even relevant to the post unless you think you shouldn't ...

by Anonymous 11 years ago

What the fuck are we arguing about? I got lost once Colebowl said she's okay with some other chick riding her boyfriend's dick.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

She found out about this act, if I assume correctly, never gave permission before, then your interpretation equals wrong, latinobodycular.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

be with someone just because you don't truly love them. And Colebowl said she wasn't ok with it, the exact opposite of what you think she said.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I never said colebowl's boyfriend didn't cheat. I was defending her words, "If I was okay with it, it wouldn't be cheating." Also that's a very interesting interpretation of my username

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Nope, my mistress achieved great butthurt

by Anonymous 11 years ago

"Did I say I was OK with it? No. I forgave him for it, if it was something I needed to forgive him for I obviously was not OK with it. If I was ok with it, it wouldn't be cheating" then "Colebowl said she's okay with some other chick riding her boyfriend's dick"

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Terrible joke attempt, mine including username was slightly better than partinobodycular. Satisfied? :P

by Anonymous 11 years ago

colebowl, stop hiding and disliking our comments, sweetheart :)

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Anonymous, stop hiding and get an account, sweetheart :)

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Hiding and disliking your comments? Just because your comment has a down vote doesn't mean I did it, guess what I'm not the only one who disagrees with you. But I did down vote one of them, do you have any idea how stupid it is to say "stop disagreeing with me"?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

partinobodycular, I already have one account and secret at the same time :)

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I think you're taking this a little bit too seriously, I was just trolling around, sucess and your reaction was completely predictable :)

by Anonymous 11 years ago

This was trolling? You're really bad at trolling. If you're going to tell me not to hide, why did you just admit you are? I get that you're trolling but that was just dumb.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

''I already have one account and secret at the same time :)'' - I admit.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

*singsong voice* colebowl's on her period

by Anonymous 11 years ago

When I typed message, I thought about fitting word, besides dumb - hypocrisy.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Exactly, two people can still be happy after one of them has cheated and they can still be a successful couple. It usually doesn't wok out like that because feelings are too hurt, but cheating on someone isn't always an indicator you shouldn't be with them.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Ladies, please, slow the fuck down with debate.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

NO FUCK YOU THIS IS THE INTERNET WE DO WHAT WE WANT

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I saw 12 votes and 50 comments and went and made some popcorn before clicking on the post

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Damnit bro you beat me to it.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Cheating just causes emotional pain, but I can understand the emotions behind it. I was going to date this one guy, but I realized that I had feelings for someone else. So I saved us both the trouble. I liked him, too, but he obviously wasn't right for me if I felt the need to be with someone else

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I hate cheaters. If I expect you to be with ME only, then do that! If I tell you it's okay to see me and others, feel free. I just don't like being lied to. I'd rather have my partner tell me it wasn't working out between us.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

It does suck to be cheated on, and if you're not happy in a relationship then you should break up instead of cheat, but cheating doesn't always happy because you're unhappy. Sometimes it's spontanious lust and bad decision making, and the person does it anyway despite being happy in their relationship.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Still, if I can control my lust, I expect him to do the same for me.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Colebowl: I agree. There's a huge difference between constantly cheating on someone and making a bad decision in the moment and never doing it again.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

And that is a perfectly reasonable expectation.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Just cuz you can control your lust and expect them to do the same doesn't mean if they don't you shouldn't be with that person. If you're going to break up with someone everytime they don't meet your expectations, have fun being single forever. No one is perfect and no one is perfect for eachother. You can still be compatible despite the fact they don't always meet your expectations. It's impossible for a person to always meet someone else's expectations.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

I dont care if he doesn't meet every single expectation but the one I just won't stand for is cheating or "making a bad decision"

by Anonymous 11 years ago

That's fine, I didn't say you should be with someone after they cheat. Just that it if you cheat on someone, it doesn't make it an indicator you shouldn't be with them because you're obviously unhappy and cheated on them for a reason.

by Anonymous 11 years ago