Not true at all. If they just, "log off the internet" it does not go away because it is letting the bully control a portion of their lives. That can almost feel just as bad as just taking the bullying.
I was bullied through text a few years back. The bully kept sending me harsh insults and told me repeatedly to go kill myself. I really close to doing it, too. I was 12 at the time and I didn't want to tell an adult because I found the whole thing embarrassing and I wanted my parents to think I could handle situations myself. Well, the whole thing lasted a few weeks and it was the worst days of my life. I already had an extremely low self esteem before I received those texts. So I can tell you that cyber bullying is just as terrible as any other form of bullying.
By the way, I finally gained enough common sense to call the damn number, and I found out who was sending the texts. It was a girl in a few of my classes. Want to know what the whole deal was? She thought that I thought I was popular. Not kidding. She egged me on to kill myself over this. Middle school drama for you, folks.
For one, I really don't lock my doors at night. But lets say I did. I kind of see where you are coming from, but locking my doors is a little different than not being able to use my computer for what I want just because somebody else wants to be an asshole.
@Deadpool: Somebody hate me because she that I thought I was "so cool."
And OP, I had a facebook group dedicated to hating me for above reason. A friend let me log into her account and view it. Even when I logged off, I still had a horrible nagging feeling. Do you know what it's like for it to be 11 at night on a schoolnight unable to sleep because you're crying so hard? Cyberbullying is just as worse as real-life bullying. Cyberbullying brings the bullying where the bully can't be. So OP, even once you lock the doors, knowing that somebody wants to get in still hurts.
I guess I lack sympathy because they could easily just log off of the internet and it goes away, but if it's an in-person bully sometimes you have to run into them whether you want to or not.
Do you lock your doors at night? That's a shame, because you're letting any possible burgalars/intruders control a portion of your life by doing that. By taking action to prevent them from harming you, you're letting them win. Right?
True. I think it just bugs me that it's considered a big issue when there is such an easy way out. I usually feel the same way when someone stays in a relationship with a person who treats them like shit; I feel bad, yeah, but I just wonder why can't they just break up with that person and make the problem go away? (I know that's a whole different issue and it's not that simple, but you know)
Cyberbullying is an issue. Though that individual could log off, the stuff that is said may make them feel horrible for weeks. They may fear that ppl are still talking shit after theyve signed off.
Exactly! And they should not have to compromise their computer usage just over a bully. If someone will tell me "you can just block them", no. wrong. This one girl would use other facebook accounts to get to me if I blocked her.
Toast, don't get upset by this because I am seriously just trying to discuss, not argue, but I am going to use an extreme example to help you understand why I disagree with what you are saying. Let's say there were two rape victims. One is an adult, the other a child. I would consider it worse that the child was raped. Just because that is worse in my eyes does not mean I shouldn't feel sympathetic for the adult victim as well. See, I have never really been one for the whole, "Don't feel bad, some have it worse" thing. If you don't like something and you feel bad for it, that doesn't mean you can't feel bad about something else. Now, how does this tie in to what we are talking about? Yes, people that are being strictly cyberbullied, as in not bullied by the same person in real life, may have different ways out, but as somebody said it can and does still affect a lot of people. The point is that just because somebody has it worse than another you shouldn't only feel bad for the person who has it the worst. That only makes it seem like you're feeling bad at all because society wants you too, not because you actually do.
I do see what you're saying, and you make a very good point, but I can't simply force myself to feel sympathy for someone when I honestly don't. Maybe that makes me a bad person, I don't know, but when I hear stories about cyberbullying I don't usually feel any sympathy unless it's some rare extreme case that resulted in suicide or some other kind of tragedy. But for the most part, I don't feel bad if I hear about mean comments on facebook or text messages or something. I just don't. I think that if kids are young enough to not know how to handle unkind words being said to them, then they're too young to have a phone anyway. When I was younger, I walked the super-long way to school every morning to avoid getting beat up, and even during middle school life was hell for me. If I could have traded that for nasty text messages and stuff, I would in a heartbeat. So even though I think cyberbullying is wrong, I just don't feel sympathy. Sorry.
I can see your point now. You think of bullying more as being a physical, getting beat up sort of thing, right?
That's why I disagree with your post. When I think of bullying, I think of hurtful things being said to someone. And as cyber bullying is just words that are on a screen, I see the two as the same thing (in basics) so, in my eyes, they are equally bad.
I can see where you're coming from. In my experience I was bullied physically (and pretty badly), even had to get stitches once. I was also called alot of names, but I just ignored that- to me the words weren't nearly as bad as the violence. But everyone's different. Maybe to some people emotional scars from words are just as bad as physical scars. That wasn't the case for me, but I can understand it. Any kind of harassment is wrong, but to some people different types of it just seem worse than others. It's a matter of opinion, I guess. I certainly respect your opinion, but we'll just have to agree to disagree
It's the real deal you know, like, when somethings real it just is and you know it is. It's there. Or you can feel it there. Or just see it. Or something. I don't know what I'm talking about, sorry you clicked on a notification for this.
I think that you should know what you're talking about when you say "real", because your amirite sort of depends on it.
Your distinction is unnecessary. I think the set {cyberspace} is a proper subset of {reality}. Is there any good reason to treat them like they're mutually exclusive? Because I'm not seeing one.
You don't understand. I made a comment stating that I made a mistake in this post and explained how my wording was a little off. But people downvoted it just because it came from me. So I pointed out in a joking-ish way how stupid it was that people were downvoting my comments even when they weren't expressing my unpopular opinion about cyberbullying. I'm sure if I commented "Amirite is so cool" I would probably still get downvoted because people would think Oh that's the OP hes so mean I'm downvoting that. And it was getting annoying.
Yes- I see the irony that you are trying to point out, but it fails to impress me because being cyberbullied is alot different than having annoying people on amirite downvote all your comments. Oh my goodness this is becoming so much bigger of a deal then it ever should have been.
I didn't word it well. My point was that having to see someone who tortures you in person everyday is alot worse than someone writing mean things to you online, where you could just ignore it/ log off/ get them in trouble (since you have evidence). Obviously both are real, I shouldn't have used that word
Words hurt, whether you are reading them on a screen or having them said to you. Either way, the person saying things means what they say, and you know it.
Maybe because I was joking, and I'm not claiming that anyone is "bullying" me by doing something as trivial and unimportant as downvoting my comment. That's exactly my point actually. Downvotes (or any other negative internet interactions) don't seem like a big deal to me because I know what it's like to be bullied badly in real life. I was just pointing out that it was silly for everyone to downvote a comment just because they don't agree with my opinion on this subject.
Because getting downvoted isn't anything worth getting upset over, and i like this website and have no reason to log off. I guess nobody read my last comment explaining how all I said before was that it was stupid for everyone to downvote my comment no matter what I say just because they're butthurt. I'm sorry to ruin your cute attempt at a joke it doesn't make sense.
Yeah a few people stopped making any sense a while ago, that's why I haven't bothered either. Some people are very sensitive about their own opinions but don't give a crap about others. They don't understand that some people see things differently than others. Don't sweat it.
OP, I find it ironic that you're complaining about being downvoted while defending your point that cyberbullying isn't a big deal because the victims can just log off. How about you just log off? Then you won't have to deal with the downvotes.
Okay, I'm going to stop commenting because no one is listening to me. But yes I get it. It just isn't as clever/ironic as you seem to think it is. It barely even makes sense.
It's not easy to get away from, other people can see the mean shit that people say to/about you online, so it can follow you even when you are offline.
Slight off-topic rant:Girls are the worst at bullying. They have intricate plans to torture other girls, using all possible forms: cyberbullying, spreading rumours, physical violence, verbal bullying. They post a photoshopped picture of them with a cute guy so the other girl will feel bad about themselves, they tell people she's a slutty whore even though she's never kissed anyone let alone done anything worse, they hit them, they send them mean texts, they try to get them in trouble, they to sabotage friendships, they say mean things in person, they downvote their amirite posts and comments so she blocks them then the bully downvotes everything when they're not logged on. And then the girl won't tell anyone because she's ashamed to be bullied. Not that this has ever happened to me.
That movie was awfully cheesy. I understand its message, but it didn't make sense. What kind of parents wouldn't punish their son for hacking into his sister's social networking account like that?
@rrw070193: (I'm not a mother btw) I would definitely angrily talk to him about it, and make him realize how much he affected his sister, and how she almost killed herself(even though he hadn't completely caused that). I'd ask him who helped him "hack" into her account(I think he had friends with him). I'd call his friends' parents and inform them of what happened. I'd definitely ground him for a month or so and take away his cell phone, tv, etc. I'd make him apologize to his sister for what he did. I'd also not let him have any of the friends that helped him come over until I discussed it with their parents. I'd not let him use the computer unless it was for schoolwork for a very, very long time.
I thought this out a bit much...
Kids just need to learn how to stick up for themselves no matter what kind of bullying it is. They need to figure out how to solve their own problems instead of immediately running to someone else to fix it for them. But by babying the youth we are weakening our society, and losing its backbone as a whole.
The problem is that it isn't as simple as kids solving their own problems. In some cases standing up to a bully will help, yes. In a lot of cases it will just make it worse and it takes somebody else intervening.
Children are very aware of right and wrong, and nice and mean, at a very very young age. They have been doing tests for years in which they take babies and show them 2 stuffed animals, one who is nice, and one who is mean. For example the one teddy bear was trying to open something, and the other one helped the teddy bear, then that teddy bear tried to open something, and the other one slammed it shut. 100% of the time the children chose the nice teddy bear. These are like, 1 year old children who would rather have a nice teddy bear than a mean one. We aren't born little dick heads, kids know the difference between good and bad, things just change.
Maybe you're still saying the same exact thing that didn't make sense the first time. The point is that a kid that is being bullied can stand up for themselves, yes. But a bully is not going to stop bullying them just for that reason. Sometimes, like I said, that might work. A lot of times it's going to get a kids ass beat.
Are you serious right now? Kids going to adults about serious problems is exactly what it means to take care of your own problems. Getting into a fistfight is absolutely a dumb decision. You have a problem, find authority to help you ; that's what they're there for. It's like me being shot and then try to find the gunman later and shoot him back instead of telling the police. That's not me being tough, it's me being absolutely stupid.
But I just think we should push more towards trying to solve it first on their own. If they know they can it will build more confidence and then maybe it will decrease the number of kids being bullied because that kid won't come off as vulnerable to another kid. If things get too far out of hand than a higher authority should intervene, but maybe I am just raising the bar too high.
Please, try to convince me that when you were a middle schooler you had sympathy and compassion for others, or had a fully developed sense of wrong-doing. Maybe you're all better people than me, but in a middle school classroom when we sensed weakness (say, a pushover substitute teacher) we teared into them like piranhas. If it was funny, we laughed, because we were all selfish.
Did you see that video with the bus monitor? KIDS ARE CRUEL. Don't try to convince me we're all good people because from my middle school experiences we are all mean little bastards, myself included.
It gets better in high school, but there's still a very strong mob mentality and peer pressure that can overtake feelings of kindness very easily. It's not that we're trying to be monsters, it's that we don't realize what we're doing is monstrous. You say something about that weird kid, your friends laugh, and you move on. Multiply that by the whole world.
Anyway, what I'm trying to accomplish with this wall of text is that no, we are not to any degree "good people", and never will be. Try to delude yourself but our predominant trait will always be selfishness.
And I agree that taking action isn't always going to have good outcomes. However, when that kid does get his or her "ass beat," he or she is either going to decide to lay down and become a victim and hope that someone else can solve their problems, or figure out someone isn't always going to be there to protect them and hold their hand through hard times. I hope this is making sense, I just wish our society didn't baby some of the little acts of bullying as much as the more serious ones.
I went to an alternative school that was basically a resource center for home schoolers but it was part of the public school system, and guess what, there was never any problem of bullying. On the whole kids were nice to each other and got along, even though there were a lot of kids that went there who were "special". I might have been an extreme case but i did feel guilty when I was doing some thing i knew was wrong. Im not saying I never said anything mean at all, but I definitely never said anything hurtful to another persons face, even in middle school.
I've never said anything hurtful to anyone's face either. However, I've said things behind peoples' backs, laughed if someone else did, and MOST importantly, stood as a bystander.
I really am making it out that every middle schooler is a little shit because I think most everyone's more or less a piece of shit. Talking shit behind someone else's back or not sticking up for someone makes you a cruel person. Of course we all do it, and that's why I think very few are honestly good. If you victimize another person or gain happiness at their expense, even behind their back, I don't consider you a good person.
You mean to tell me not a single kid was ever strayed from kindness..ever? For 3 years, no one ever uttered a foul word or was hostile/exclusive towards another? The 4 years of high school too? Well, you guys just might be saints, but for most of civilization, shit like that happens all the time.
I went to two middle schools. One was a bit more "city-like", close to NYC and rowdy and the other was in a rich, white, quaint suburban town. In both schools, I would find people who were rude. I really don't think a middle school exists where literally no one is in the slightest deviant from perfect kindness. Maybe you're the exception, but I'm certain my school experience is the norm.
Well I'm happy I had a better experience than you. I went to a school were the average person was nice and no one was bullied. I'm sorry you had that experience and that it made you so cynical, but I don't think it's true that every one is a piece of shit. I think it's a problem that there are people out there like you that think that, a problem that needs to be fixed. Humans have their flaws but they also have good qualities and I do believe that anyone can be kind.But I can see why you may not think that, and that's the real problem of bullying is that people think its a problem that can be fixed so they are content to just help the victims.
I've never really been legitimately bullied, my opinions are from the fact that I just know humans are inherently selfish for survival reasons, and I don't hate them for it, it's just the way we are. Tons of people are great people, just that most everyone have selfishness in them. Anyway, I do admit I've over-exaggerated, and this comment thread has gotten way off topic from the post.
Spareseconds, on the flip side, you mean to say that not one person at your school was nice (by your definition)? Not even one? That's ridiculously hard to believe.
Yeah of course we are all selfish but your acting like its impossible to come above that. In your comments you focus so much on the negative you make it sound like because we are inharently selfish it's ok to just acknowledge it and continue without an effort to be a better person. In my opinion it's extremely important to see and admit our flaws so we can try every day to become a better person.
I don't hate people for being shitty, I just think we all are. I honestly don't hate people, but back to the original topic, I think people bully because of the inclination to hurt others to gain yourself, in other words, being selfish. I think everyone is selfish and shitty, but I absolutely support becoming a better person. Doing 10 shitty things is worse than doing 1. I have decided to try to not say a single bad word behind someone's back, and bring the topic up to others if they do it. Once again: I don't hate people, because however shitty people are, I can still see the goodness in them. My basic point is that we're all inclined to be selfish and there's no arguing that or escaping it.
Distinguishing between good and bad is a mechanism for survival. You associate with the kind, helpful friend, but you don't go near the mean, selfish enemy because it can be a matter of life and death.
Everyone has to know between good and bad, but does that mean we automatically choose to be good, even if it's at a cost to ourselves? Because we are social animals, we share with others, but sharing is not necessarily what I'd call a 'nice' action because we only share to have our neighbor return the favor in our time of need. It's not pure altruism, because pure altruism would harm us in our quest for survival.
Everything we do is for ourselves or our offspring/family/very close friends, because it's that's how we are built if we want to survive. With civilization, pure altruism is more common but it's understandably still rare.
You're making it out to be that every middle schooler is a little shit 100% of the time, which is not true at all. I had my good moments and my bad moments. I've even been told that my sense of right and wrong was almost fully developed in eighth grade. Maybe I'm just different. shrug
I never did or said one thing wrong or mean to anyone in middle school, I know people who ever since grade school have been fantastic people. Maybe you live in shitville ohio with a bunch of pricks, but I'm quite certain your personal middle school experiences dot translate to everyone's experiences.
You can hate your state, and move out if you fancy that. You can hate your country, and move out if you fancy that. Hell, you can even hate your continent and move out if you fancy that. But if you hate your planet, you're out of luck.
i don't know how to explain this, but I'll try to explain how and why I bullied people when I was younger.
Basically, I picked on people who I thought were uncool, but I thought that they thought that they were cool. So this made me hate them and want to knock them down a few pegs. So I cast hate nonstop towards them.
I think bullying comes from insecurities and a lack of respected authority. I understand and respect your opinion but it's just to cynical for me, yeah humans are selfish and kind of terrible but I think it's important to remember that as much as we can be terrible to each other we can be kind and loving. That though always stops me from getting too cynical.
If someone was like "You're a piece of shit. Everyone wishes you were dead and they all hate you" I definitely wouldn't give 2 shits, because I'm not a little homo, and I don't care what other people think or say. However, if someone pushed me against a wall, I probably wouldn't really like that.
I understand where you're coming from when you're talking about a complete random. But if it was someone you cared about, or even still do care about, there's just an aspect thats hard to ignore :(
I do not agree.
I used to live with my mother who was an emotionally and physically abusive, alcoholic Jehovah Witness. It was quite the combination.
But at age 12, as she was punching the back of my head and screaming that I was a "worthless, good-for-nothing little shit" because my room was dirty, it was definitely the words that affected me more than her hitting me. She was my mother, a person who was supposed to love me unconditionally so why did she so often denigrate me and ignore my needs. Why wasn't I good enough for my own mother? It had been so ingrained in me since day one that there was something wrong with ME, it thrust me into this whirlpool of self-doubt, depression, self-esteem issues, self-harm and relating interpersonally to others.
Emotional abuse fucks with your head, especially when it's coming from someone who is inherently supposed to love you. Even after being out of the situation for two years, I'm still discovering that I still have some negative thought processes relating back to her, that I have to look at and fix. I couldn't keep a relationship for the longest time, it took up to a couple of months ago for me to go back and reprogram my mentality.
But yeah, from my personal experience, it's harder to fathom emotional and sexual abuse from physical (not that there's any "right" way to feel, we all have different perceptions.)
Physical abuse is easier to deal with because it is so obvious. (Oh, she hit me. Hitting me is wrong. I have proof.) Yes, it still hurts that someone can do that to you, that you can be made vulnerable like that but since it's the most blatant and understood form of abuse in this culture, it's easier to recover. Emotional abuse on the other hand is often shrugged off even though those experiences form how you think and function as a human being. Also, since people may shrug it off, it can be harder to recover.
Incidentally, I would like to point out that I am a strong advocate in taking control of your life experiences and not wallowing in pain any longer than you have to, however, I do also believe we also need to be sensitive to those that are still in a rough situation. We can't expect someone who is dealing with being attacked (on any level)on a daily basis to handle things as well as someone who is in a relatively "good" situation.
You can feel good about yourself and still care what others think of you. Let me give you an example. There are two girls at my school. One of them used to verbally bully me, but before she did I was just neutral about her. And yes, I did think she was pathetic and I didn't let her words get to me.
However, I have another friend whom I think is really kind and intelligent, and I have a lot of respect for her. Now, to my knowledge, she likes me just fine, but if I found out that she bullied me as well, I would have a problem with that.
The point is, it's human nature for us to admire others and to value what the people we admire think of us. And although excessive admiration is a problem, it is totally okay to look up to people who have genuinely good qualities that we want to have. I guess what I'm saying is that words can be hurtful when they come from people whom we want to like us.
YeahIAm - the reason why verbal bullying/cyber bullying is bad because the targets are usually people who have low self-esteem, so it hurts more. Not only that, but if there are multiple bullies, you will hear it constantly and begin to even believe their words. It's great that you have the self-confidence to overcome it, but not everybody is as lucky as you.
YeahIAm: I have. I was thrown into anbookcase resulting in a concussion but that didn't hurt anywhere near as bad as some things people have said to me.
Not true at all. If they just, "log off the internet" it does not go away because it is letting the bully control a portion of their lives. That can almost feel just as bad as just taking the bullying.
I was bullied through text a few years back. The bully kept sending me harsh insults and told me repeatedly to go kill myself. I really close to doing it, too. I was 12 at the time and I didn't want to tell an adult because I found the whole thing embarrassing and I wanted my parents to think I could handle situations myself. Well, the whole thing lasted a few weeks and it was the worst days of my life. I already had an extremely low self esteem before I received those texts. So I can tell you that cyber bullying is just as terrible as any other form of bullying.
By the way, I finally gained enough common sense to call the damn number, and I found out who was sending the texts. It was a girl in a few of my classes. Want to know what the whole deal was? She thought that I thought I was popular. Not kidding. She egged me on to kill myself over this. Middle school drama for you, folks.
For one, I really don't lock my doors at night. But lets say I did. I kind of see where you are coming from, but locking my doors is a little different than not being able to use my computer for what I want just because somebody else wants to be an asshole.
@Deadpool: Somebody hate me because she that I thought I was "so cool."
And OP, I had a facebook group dedicated to hating me for above reason. A friend let me log into her account and view it. Even when I logged off, I still had a horrible nagging feeling. Do you know what it's like for it to be 11 at night on a schoolnight unable to sleep because you're crying so hard? Cyberbullying is just as worse as real-life bullying. Cyberbullying brings the bullying where the bully can't be. So OP, even once you lock the doors, knowing that somebody wants to get in still hurts.
I guess I lack sympathy because they could easily just log off of the internet and it goes away, but if it's an in-person bully sometimes you have to run into them whether you want to or not.
Do you lock your doors at night? That's a shame, because you're letting any possible burgalars/intruders control a portion of your life by doing that. By taking action to prevent them from harming you, you're letting them win. Right?
True. I think it just bugs me that it's considered a big issue when there is such an easy way out. I usually feel the same way when someone stays in a relationship with a person who treats them like shit; I feel bad, yeah, but I just wonder why can't they just break up with that person and make the problem go away? (I know that's a whole different issue and it's not that simple, but you know)
Cyberbullying is an issue. Though that individual could log off, the stuff that is said may make them feel horrible for weeks. They may fear that ppl are still talking shit after theyve signed off.
There's not really a type of bullying that's "worse" than others. No matter what, someone is getting hurt. That's horrible no matter what.
Exactly! And they should not have to compromise their computer usage just over a bully. If someone will tell me "you can just block them", no. wrong. This one girl would use other facebook accounts to get to me if I blocked her.
At least you have some honesty. I don't picture you as a bad person.
I never said it wasn't an issue. I said I lack sympathy because other forms of bullying are worse.
Toast, don't get upset by this because I am seriously just trying to discuss, not argue, but I am going to use an extreme example to help you understand why I disagree with what you are saying. Let's say there were two rape victims. One is an adult, the other a child. I would consider it worse that the child was raped. Just because that is worse in my eyes does not mean I shouldn't feel sympathetic for the adult victim as well. See, I have never really been one for the whole, "Don't feel bad, some have it worse" thing. If you don't like something and you feel bad for it, that doesn't mean you can't feel bad about something else. Now, how does this tie in to what we are talking about? Yes, people that are being strictly cyberbullied, as in not bullied by the same person in real life, may have different ways out, but as somebody said it can and does still affect a lot of people. The point is that just because somebody has it worse than another you shouldn't only feel bad for the person who has it the worst. That only makes it seem like you're feeling bad at all because society wants you too, not because you actually do.
I do see what you're saying, and you make a very good point, but I can't simply force myself to feel sympathy for someone when I honestly don't. Maybe that makes me a bad person, I don't know, but when I hear stories about cyberbullying I don't usually feel any sympathy unless it's some rare extreme case that resulted in suicide or some other kind of tragedy. But for the most part, I don't feel bad if I hear about mean comments on facebook or text messages or something. I just don't. I think that if kids are young enough to not know how to handle unkind words being said to them, then they're too young to have a phone anyway. When I was younger, I walked the super-long way to school every morning to avoid getting beat up, and even during middle school life was hell for me. If I could have traded that for nasty text messages and stuff, I would in a heartbeat. So even though I think cyberbullying is wrong, I just don't feel sympathy. Sorry.
I can see your point now. You think of bullying more as being a physical, getting beat up sort of thing, right?
That's why I disagree with your post. When I think of bullying, I think of hurtful things being said to someone. And as cyber bullying is just words that are on a screen, I see the two as the same thing (in basics) so, in my eyes, they are equally bad.
I can see where you're coming from. In my experience I was bullied physically (and pretty badly), even had to get stitches once. I was also called alot of names, but I just ignored that- to me the words weren't nearly as bad as the violence. But everyone's different. Maybe to some people emotional scars from words are just as bad as physical scars. That wasn't the case for me, but I can understand it. Any kind of harassment is wrong, but to some people different types of it just seem worse than others. It's a matter of opinion, I guess. I certainly respect your opinion, but we'll just have to agree to disagree
What defines "real"?
It's the real deal you know, like, when somethings real it just is and you know it is. It's there. Or you can feel it there. Or just see it. Or something. I don't know what I'm talking about, sorry you clicked on a notification for this.
I think that you should know what you're talking about when you say "real", because your amirite sort of depends on it.
Your distinction is unnecessary. I think the set {cyberspace} is a proper subset of {reality}. Is there any good reason to treat them like they're mutually exclusive? Because I'm not seeing one.
Also, a lot of times somebody that is cyberbullying is also bullying them in real life.
Yes Andy! very true. If you manage to thwart them in cyberspace, they just slam you IRL. It sucks.
You can't ignore any bullying from anywhere. It's impossible.
Oh great, even when I make a comment admitting a mistake that I made in this post I still get thumbs downs ...
You don't understand. I made a comment stating that I made a mistake in this post and explained how my wording was a little off. But people downvoted it just because it came from me. So I pointed out in a joking-ish way how stupid it was that people were downvoting my comments even when they weren't expressing my unpopular opinion about cyberbullying. I'm sure if I commented "Amirite is so cool" I would probably still get downvoted because people would think Oh that's the OP hes so mean I'm downvoting that. And it was getting annoying.
Yes- I see the irony that you are trying to point out, but it fails to impress me because being cyberbullied is alot different than having annoying people on amirite downvote all your comments. Oh my goodness this is becoming so much bigger of a deal then it ever should have been.
You said something ridiculous. OP stated their opinion. But yeah, that's all i'm gonna say about that.
I didn't word it well. My point was that having to see someone who tortures you in person everyday is alot worse than someone writing mean things to you online, where you could just ignore it/ log off/ get them in trouble (since you have evidence). Obviously both are real, I shouldn't have used that word
Words hurt, whether you are reading them on a screen or having them said to you. Either way, the person saying things means what they say, and you know it.
Maybe because I was joking, and I'm not claiming that anyone is "bullying" me by doing something as trivial and unimportant as downvoting my comment. That's exactly my point actually. Downvotes (or any other negative internet interactions) don't seem like a big deal to me because I know what it's like to be bullied badly in real life. I was just pointing out that it was silly for everyone to downvote a comment just because they don't agree with my opinion on this subject.
Why?
Because getting downvoted isn't anything worth getting upset over, and i like this website and have no reason to log off. I guess nobody read my last comment explaining how all I said before was that it was stupid for everyone to downvote my comment no matter what I say just because they're butthurt. I'm sorry to ruin your cute attempt at a joke it doesn't make sense.
you're failing to make the connection (albeit loose) between this website and what it means to you and cyberbullying.
Yeah a few people stopped making any sense a while ago, that's why I haven't bothered either. Some people are very sensitive about their own opinions but don't give a crap about others. They don't understand that some people see things differently than others. Don't sweat it.
Woah toast don't feel too bad. They're just arrows not thumbs.
OP, I find it ironic that you're complaining about being downvoted while defending your point that cyberbullying isn't a big deal because the victims can just log off. How about you just log off? Then you won't have to deal with the downvotes.
If getting downvoted is so bad, why don't you just get off the computer?
Okay, I'm going to stop commenting because no one is listening to me. But yes I get it. It just isn't as clever/ironic as you seem to think it is. It barely even makes sense.
... Isn't that what the downvote button is for? When you don't agree with someone?
You just don't get it do you?
^
It's not easy to get away from, other people can see the mean shit that people say to/about you online, so it can follow you even when you are offline.
Slight off-topic rant:Girls are the worst at bullying. They have intricate plans to torture other girls, using all possible forms: cyberbullying, spreading rumours, physical violence, verbal bullying. They post a photoshopped picture of them with a cute guy so the other girl will feel bad about themselves, they tell people she's a slutty whore even though she's never kissed anyone let alone done anything worse, they hit them, they send them mean texts, they try to get them in trouble, they to sabotage friendships, they say mean things in person, they downvote their amirite posts and comments so she blocks them then the bully downvotes everything when they're not logged on. And then the girl won't tell anyone because she's ashamed to be bullied. Not that this has ever happened to me.
Yeah. Cyber bullying isn't real. Pay it no attention. (I'm a cyber bully and I approve this message
)
To add on kids who also stand up to their bullies often have to deal with the schools suspending them for defending themselves
Cyber bullying can easily escalate to physical bullying.
That movie was awfully cheesy. I understand its message, but it didn't make sense. What kind of parents wouldn't punish their son for hacking into his sister's social networking account like that?
@rrw070193: (I'm not a mother btw) I would definitely angrily talk to him about it, and make him realize how much he affected his sister, and how she almost killed herself(even though he hadn't completely caused that). I'd ask him who helped him "hack" into her account(I think he had friends with him). I'd call his friends' parents and inform them of what happened. I'd definitely ground him for a month or so and take away his cell phone, tv, etc. I'd make him apologize to his sister for what he did. I'd also not let him have any of the friends that helped him come over until I discussed it with their parents. I'd not let him use the computer unless it was for schoolwork for a very, very long time.
I thought this out a bit much...
@rrw070194: If I was the mothed, it would be far more severe. He acted like it was nothing.
*mother
Kids just need to learn how to stick up for themselves no matter what kind of bullying it is. They need to figure out how to solve their own problems instead of immediately running to someone else to fix it for them. But by babying the youth we are weakening our society, and losing its backbone as a whole.
The problem is that it isn't as simple as kids solving their own problems. In some cases standing up to a bully will help, yes. In a lot of cases it will just make it worse and it takes somebody else intervening.
No.
Children are very aware of right and wrong, and nice and mean, at a very very young age. They have been doing tests for years in which they take babies and show them 2 stuffed animals, one who is nice, and one who is mean. For example the one teddy bear was trying to open something, and the other one helped the teddy bear, then that teddy bear tried to open something, and the other one slammed it shut. 100% of the time the children chose the nice teddy bear. These are like, 1 year old children who would rather have a nice teddy bear than a mean one. We aren't born little dick heads, kids know the difference between good and bad, things just change.
Maybe you're still saying the same exact thing that didn't make sense the first time. The point is that a kid that is being bullied can stand up for themselves, yes. But a bully is not going to stop bullying them just for that reason. Sometimes, like I said, that might work. A lot of times it's going to get a kids ass beat.
im not talking about babies. im talking about middle and high schoolers.
Are you serious right now? Kids going to adults about serious problems is exactly what it means to take care of your own problems. Getting into a fistfight is absolutely a dumb decision. You have a problem, find authority to help you ; that's what they're there for. It's like me being shot and then try to find the gunman later and shoot him back instead of telling the police. That's not me being tough, it's me being absolutely stupid.
But I just think we should push more towards trying to solve it first on their own. If they know they can it will build more confidence and then maybe it will decrease the number of kids being bullied because that kid won't come off as vulnerable to another kid. If things get too far out of hand than a higher authority should intervene, but maybe I am just raising the bar too high.
Well the thing about bullies is that they make people ruin people's self-confidence to the point where they don't even feel that they can fight back
Maybe we should just figure out why so many kids are comfortable being mean to other people all the time. That's the bigger problem.
Are you being serious? Because I can't tell..
It's true. Kids are cruel.
Kids are not inherently bad. Culture encourages cruel behavior.
Please, try to convince me that when you were a middle schooler you had sympathy and compassion for others, or had a fully developed sense of wrong-doing. Maybe you're all better people than me, but in a middle school classroom when we sensed weakness (say, a pushover substitute teacher) we teared into them like piranhas. If it was funny, we laughed, because we were all selfish.
Did you see that video with the bus monitor? KIDS ARE CRUEL. Don't try to convince me we're all good people because from my middle school experiences we are all mean little bastards, myself included.
It gets better in high school, but there's still a very strong mob mentality and peer pressure that can overtake feelings of kindness very easily. It's not that we're trying to be monsters, it's that we don't realize what we're doing is monstrous. You say something about that weird kid, your friends laugh, and you move on. Multiply that by the whole world.
Anyway, what I'm trying to accomplish with this wall of text is that no, we are not to any degree "good people", and never will be. Try to delude yourself but our predominant trait will always be selfishness.
And I agree that taking action isn't always going to have good outcomes. However, when that kid does get his or her "ass beat," he or she is either going to decide to lay down and become a victim and hope that someone else can solve their problems, or figure out someone isn't always going to be there to protect them and hold their hand through hard times. I hope this is making sense, I just wish our society didn't baby some of the little acts of bullying as much as the more serious ones.
I went to an alternative school that was basically a resource center for home schoolers but it was part of the public school system, and guess what, there was never any problem of bullying. On the whole kids were nice to each other and got along, even though there were a lot of kids that went there who were "special". I might have been an extreme case but i did feel guilty when I was doing some thing i knew was wrong. Im not saying I never said anything mean at all, but I definitely never said anything hurtful to another persons face, even in middle school.
I've never said anything hurtful to anyone's face either. However, I've said things behind peoples' backs, laughed if someone else did, and MOST importantly, stood as a bystander.
I really am making it out that every middle schooler is a little shit because I think most everyone's more or less a piece of shit. Talking shit behind someone else's back or not sticking up for someone makes you a cruel person. Of course we all do it, and that's why I think very few are honestly good. If you victimize another person or gain happiness at their expense, even behind their back, I don't consider you a good person.
You mean to tell me not a single kid was ever strayed from kindness..ever? For 3 years, no one ever uttered a foul word or was hostile/exclusive towards another? The 4 years of high school too? Well, you guys just might be saints, but for most of civilization, shit like that happens all the time.
I went to two middle schools. One was a bit more "city-like", close to NYC and rowdy and the other was in a rich, white, quaint suburban town. In both schools, I would find people who were rude. I really don't think a middle school exists where literally no one is in the slightest deviant from perfect kindness. Maybe you're the exception, but I'm certain my school experience is the norm.
Well I'm happy I had a better experience than you. I went to a school were the average person was nice and no one was bullied. I'm sorry you had that experience and that it made you so cynical, but I don't think it's true that every one is a piece of shit. I think it's a problem that there are people out there like you that think that, a problem that needs to be fixed. Humans have their flaws but they also have good qualities and I do believe that anyone can be kind.But I can see why you may not think that, and that's the real problem of bullying is that people think its a problem that can be fixed so they are content to just help the victims.
I've never really been legitimately bullied, my opinions are from the fact that I just know humans are inherently selfish for survival reasons, and I don't hate them for it, it's just the way we are. Tons of people are great people, just that most everyone have selfishness in them. Anyway, I do admit I've over-exaggerated, and this comment thread has gotten way off topic from the post.
Spareseconds, on the flip side, you mean to say that not one person at your school was nice (by your definition)? Not even one? That's ridiculously hard to believe.
Yeah of course we are all selfish but your acting like its impossible to come above that. In your comments you focus so much on the negative you make it sound like because we are inharently selfish it's ok to just acknowledge it and continue without an effort to be a better person. In my opinion it's extremely important to see and admit our flaws so we can try every day to become a better person.
I don't hate people for being shitty, I just think we all are. I honestly don't hate people, but back to the original topic, I think people bully because of the inclination to hurt others to gain yourself, in other words, being selfish. I think everyone is selfish and shitty, but I absolutely support becoming a better person. Doing 10 shitty things is worse than doing 1. I have decided to try to not say a single bad word behind someone's back, and bring the topic up to others if they do it. Once again: I don't hate people, because however shitty people are, I can still see the goodness in them. My basic point is that we're all inclined to be selfish and there's no arguing that or escaping it.
So kids shouldn't learn how to deal with their own problems?
Distinguishing between good and bad is a mechanism for survival. You associate with the kind, helpful friend, but you don't go near the mean, selfish enemy because it can be a matter of life and death.
Everyone has to know between good and bad, but does that mean we automatically choose to be good, even if it's at a cost to ourselves? Because we are social animals, we share with others, but sharing is not necessarily what I'd call a 'nice' action because we only share to have our neighbor return the favor in our time of need. It's not pure altruism, because pure altruism would harm us in our quest for survival.
Everything we do is for ourselves or our offspring/family/very close friends, because it's that's how we are built if we want to survive. With civilization, pure altruism is more common but it's understandably still rare.
If you've got half an hour you should watch this video
I think it would be right up your alley.
You're making it out to be that every middle schooler is a little shit 100% of the time, which is not true at all. I had my good moments and my bad moments. I've even been told that my sense of right and wrong was almost fully developed in eighth grade. Maybe I'm just different. shrug
I never did or said one thing wrong or mean to anyone in middle school, I know people who ever since grade school have been fantastic people. Maybe you live in shitville ohio with a bunch of pricks, but I'm quite certain your personal middle school experiences dot translate to everyone's experiences.
Which is why I think everyone is/can be shitty.
You can hate your state, and move out if you fancy that. You can hate your country, and move out if you fancy that. Hell, you can even hate your continent and move out if you fancy that. But if you hate your planet, you're out of luck.
For now...
Okay, fair enough. If you hate your race (species) you're out of luck.
Because kids are sadistic, egotistical beings with absolutely zero sensitivity to human suffering.
I used to be so mean to other kids and didn't think twice, and I was considered a lot nicer than others.
i don't know how to explain this, but I'll try to explain how and why I bullied people when I was younger.
Basically, I picked on people who I thought were uncool, but I thought that they thought that they were cool. So this made me hate them and want to knock them down a few pegs. So I cast hate nonstop towards them.
Well nobody on the planet is like that.
I think bullying comes from insecurities and a lack of respected authority. I understand and respect your opinion but it's just to cynical for me, yeah humans are selfish and kind of terrible but I think it's important to remember that as much as we can be terrible to each other we can be kind and loving. That though always stops me from getting too cynical.
Of course there were nice people. Just none who were purely, 100% nice all the time.
Nononono kids have zero remorse or sense of guilt. Their brains aren't developed enough for that yet. That's why babies rarely share.
I only sympathize with people that are actually physically harassed. It's pretty pathetic if you can't overcome words.
... And I'm guessing my downvote count will be something below -10 soon.
If someone was like "You're a piece of shit. Everyone wishes you were dead and they all hate you" I definitely wouldn't give 2 shits, because I'm not a little homo, and I don't care what other people think or say. However, if someone pushed me against a wall, I probably wouldn't really like that.
@KirstenAnn - Anything that's not just being bullied by words.
I understand where you're coming from when you're talking about a complete random. But if it was someone you cared about, or even still do care about, there's just an aspect thats hard to ignore :(
I do not agree.
I used to live with my mother who was an emotionally and physically abusive, alcoholic Jehovah Witness. It was quite the combination.
But at age 12, as she was punching the back of my head and screaming that I was a "worthless, good-for-nothing little shit" because my room was dirty, it was definitely the words that affected me more than her hitting me. She was my mother, a person who was supposed to love me unconditionally so why did she so often denigrate me and ignore my needs. Why wasn't I good enough for my own mother? It had been so ingrained in me since day one that there was something wrong with ME, it thrust me into this whirlpool of self-doubt, depression, self-esteem issues, self-harm and relating interpersonally to others.
Emotional abuse fucks with your head, especially when it's coming from someone who is inherently supposed to love you. Even after being out of the situation for two years, I'm still discovering that I still have some negative thought processes relating back to her, that I have to look at and fix. I couldn't keep a relationship for the longest time, it took up to a couple of months ago for me to go back and reprogram my mentality.
But yeah, from my personal experience, it's harder to fathom emotional and sexual abuse from physical (not that there's any "right" way to feel, we all have different perceptions.)
Physical abuse is easier to deal with because it is so obvious. (Oh, she hit me. Hitting me is wrong. I have proof.) Yes, it still hurts that someone can do that to you, that you can be made vulnerable like that but since it's the most blatant and understood form of abuse in this culture, it's easier to recover. Emotional abuse on the other hand is often shrugged off even though those experiences form how you think and function as a human being. Also, since people may shrug it off, it can be harder to recover.
Incidentally, I would like to point out that I am a strong advocate in taking control of your life experiences and not wallowing in pain any longer than you have to, however, I do also believe we also need to be sensitive to those that are still in a rough situation. We can't expect someone who is dealing with being attacked (on any level)on a daily basis to handle things as well as someone who is in a relatively "good" situation.
Have you ever actually been physically harmed by bullying? I haven't, but I'm assuming it would be much worse than being verbally harassed.
You can feel good about yourself and still care what others think of you. Let me give you an example. There are two girls at my school. One of them used to verbally bully me, but before she did I was just neutral about her. And yes, I did think she was pathetic and I didn't let her words get to me.
However, I have another friend whom I think is really kind and intelligent, and I have a lot of respect for her. Now, to my knowledge, she likes me just fine, but if I found out that she bullied me as well, I would have a problem with that.
The point is, it's human nature for us to admire others and to value what the people we admire think of us. And although excessive admiration is a problem, it is totally okay to look up to people who have genuinely good qualities that we want to have. I guess what I'm saying is that words can be hurtful when they come from people whom we want to like us.
YeahIAm - the reason why verbal bullying/cyber bullying is bad because the targets are usually people who have low self-esteem, so it hurts more. Not only that, but if there are multiple bullies, you will hear it constantly and begin to even believe their words. It's great that you have the self-confidence to overcome it, but not everybody is as lucky as you.
YeahIAm: I have. I was thrown into anbookcase resulting in a concussion but that didn't hurt anywhere near as bad as some things people have said to me.
Words are really hurtful, I think. If someone physically hurt me, I would care less than if someone used words.
Describe physically harassed. Is it being bullied in person or actual physical violence?