you can't cuddle with food, but you can have sex with it if it's a cucumber, amirite?

+133 you can't cuddle with food, but you can have sex with it if it's a cucumber, amirite?

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Or an apple pie.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Or doughnut. Or bacon. Or watermelon. Or /anything/.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Yeah, i'm going to shove a watermelon up my cooch.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

If you're not sticking it up the peehole or nostril, you're obviously doing something wrong.

by Anonymous 11 years ago

Try buying a cucumber in a supermarket if you’re female & a guy sees you selecting it. They make it soo obvious that they think you’re going to use it as a dildo. Dirty perverts! Many young girls pop a condom on a cucumber in the early days of sexual experimentation: I mean you can easily find one the right size, & they feel very similar to an erect penis, don’t they? But they soon discover that once you master the art of stimulating your clitoris to achieve orgasm you don’t really need anything stuffed into your vagina! The widespread belief that males have that women use penis substitutes just shows how ignorant they are of female anatomy & sexual response.

by Anonymous 11 months ago