+84 Smacking is necessary, if a child runs into the street, you would not wait for them to be ran over by a truck and say "you deserved it" to their lifeless body. You would intervene and discipline them in a tangible way. In essence, you give the child a little bit of physical or emotional pain now to avoid a lot of pain later. amirite?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

There are plenty of ways to effectively get that point across rather than striking your child, whether it be in good means or not.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

A definitely agree that spanking is ineffective. It only hurts temporarily and then the child is back to being a brat. No child wants to be hit in the face by an adult with brass knuckles, therefore that method is a lot more effective and will most likely only be needed once.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

The fact that this post states it's "necessary" is what bothers me the most.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Never spanked as a child, and I like to think I turned out fine. I, by myself, completely disproved the post. Shouldn't have included the word "necessary".

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Same here. My parents never laid a hand on me. Scoldings were enough to keep me in line and I believe that relatively, I grew up as a very obedient child because my motivation was simply to keep my parents happy. The reason my parent's method worked so well is that they were usually in a good mood and always happy around me. When they were unhappy, I would pay attention. Not to make assumptions, but I think typically, parents who are always in an ill mood have disobedient children simply because they stop taking their parent's anger seriously. You could also think of it this way: Take people who swear all of the time versus people who seldom swear. When the person who seldom swears actually does, it must mean they have good reason for it and therefore you react differently to them than the person who always swears. It's the same as parenting. A parent who always shows love and affection towards their child will condition their child to always strive to obtain that love and affection.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I got spanked as a children and now that I am a teenager I understand why they did it. Now I am obedient polite and have many good traits. Spanking didn't affect me mentally or anything. Obviously I didn't like getting spanked but I also didn't like standing in the corner for 25 minutes either. I like how my parents raised me and I would raise my children the same

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Then we've got good examples on how both methods, when executed correctly, work just as well. Now we can stop assuming parents who do/don't spank are bad parents and as long as they're not abusing/neglecting their children, they can parent as they wish.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I was never spanked or hit in any way as a child and I was extremely well behaved, I listened to my parents and didn't want to make them upset and they resolved issues with me by talking. I was still disciplined just not physically and have so far managed not to get myself run over by a truck.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

That's debatable

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Replace the word necessary for the post, but people who scold parents who spank their children are in the wrong. I was spanked when doing something wrong as a child and it taught me how to act and I turned out just fine. I don't have any anger issues and I haven't hit anyone ever. People who say spanking doesn't work because the pain is only temporary: for most crimes, jail time is only temporary. That doesn't mean the person is going right back to how they acted before. Just like the adult doesn't want to experience jail time again, most children know getting spanked hurts and won't do whatever it was they did again.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

too late now without mod intervention.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Spanking creates a memory the kid doesn't want to relive, and will not do the thing that brought it about. Jail time fucks up peoples' lives because it makes it hard for them to gt jobs later on, and is a permanent loss of time, often in the prime of your life.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I don't understand if you're agreeing or arguing with me hmm

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Both. I'm saying spanking is useful, but I also don't think it's necessary.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

exactly. if used correctly, a child can be raised just fine without or with spanking. one parent can non-verbally communicate a stronger message than a different parent with spanking

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I like that you said "one parent can non-verbally communicate a stronger message than a different parent with spanking." All parents and their children are different. What works for one may not work for another.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I would rather have my kid grasp the concept that doing something bad is wrong by explaining the situation to them. Kids are naive and you shouldn't strike them for being kids. Talking to them can definately be effective if you use the right attitude and words. They should be taught how to do things the right way, without physical violence.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

you really think that you could rationalize and negotiate with a small child? at a very young age, they can only understand pain and pleasure.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Yes, I do think so. Kids in this day and age are so intelligent, and I wouldn't want to resort to physical violence when there are other ways to approach it.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

there are a lot of tools for behavior management, one needs to know which is appropriate. Corporal punishment is just one tool out of many.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Yelling at a kid accomplishes the same thing as spanking, without inflicting physical pain.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I would rather get spanked than get yelled at. I remember when I got yelled at by my parents I dont really remember spanks. Sanks hurt for a minute and you learn you get punnished when you do something wrong. Getting yelled at is more intense. You remember it for a while and it can mentally scar you

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I teach a preschool. I see the "talk to the child and explain why they can't do what they just did" method fail on a regular basis. Of course, we can't spank the kids we teach, so we end up saying the same things to the same children over and over again. (But I disagreed with the post because it's more extreme than my view.)

by Anonymous 12 years ago

You can reason with a small child. You might not be able to have deep philosophical discussions (hey, you never know!), but things like "Willow feels sad when you don't share with her" do work. And even at a very young age, children crave approval and can sense disapproval. So someone like a parent can say "It makes me sad when you are mean to Xander" and the child can understand that and not want to be mean any longer.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

If rationalizing or negotiating with a small child won't work, how would spanking be any better? I mean if they're at an age where you can't explain to them why running in traffic is bad, then you probably shouldn't put them in a situation where they could possibly get out of sight and go do it. Kids that young should probably be under their parent/guardian's watch at all times.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Well that's retarded

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I'm not sure how I feel about the issue of spanking. I don't know how it's so controversial. If it works as a parenting method, that's fine. There are alternatives to spanking, and I think a decision like to spank or not to spank should be left up to the parents (within reason). I'm not advocating for extremes like neglecting the child or constantly beating and injuring the child. This post is kind of biased, and it implies that absolute neglect is the only alternative to spanking.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

uh no.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Pretty much my reaction

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I said NW, because that was just a terrible example. Personally, I would spank my children till the age of 3 with an open hand when I've calmed down from whatever they'd done (so I don't hurt them to the point where the stinging won't stop by the next day) and I after I've explained what they've done wrong and only on their butt. Grounding, though very effective, only works with children 3 and up when you really have something to take away. TIme out? They'll probably get up. Take away toys or television? Dare I mention imagination? A very mild, slightly stinging along with a calm, but stern conversation of why the spanking had to occur is much better than any other method in my opinion.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

This post actually disgusts me.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

While I do understand what you mean, the bit that got me was "its necessary". Also, to everyone going "omggg thats liek cruel and stuffs!" one mild smack on the wrist/bottom [that doesnt leave a bruise or a mark or anything] isn't the same as beating the living beejezus out of your kid. As long as a parent isn't emotionally or physically damaging their kid, i think that they should be allowed to parent as they see fit. And sometimes, that's the only way a kid can be controlled.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

It is the dialectical approach, it is one thing in the toolkit out of many.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I used to look forward to POTD.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Though this particular post isn't that great, the best POTDs are those that spark interesting discussions in the comments, so I suppose the Admin could possibly be starting to head in the right direction with these...

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Except the spanking debate isn't very interesting

by Anonymous 12 years ago

No, it's controversial, which used to be the point of POTD. A POTD hasn't invited as much discussion in a long time. This is a good one. Cherish it, because it'll be replaced by some sigh tomorrow.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I'm fairly sure you can give a timeout to a kid who runs onto the street and they won't do it anymore. How is physical abuse the only way to stop misbehavior?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

You don't teach people to not do bad things by doing bad things to them. Besides that, spanking can scar children. Testing has shown that children who were spanked as reinforcement grew up to be much more violent later in life. It's because when we're little, we're infinitely impressionable, and when the people we love and look up to do violent things toward us, we remember if for the rest of our lives (and usually not what it was that caused the spanking). I do not believe spanking is all right, let alone necessary. This post makes me very sad.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

It's not necessarily necessary to spank; it depends on the child. Some children respond to certain forms of correction better than others. Know your children and what works. Discipline can be done wrong in any form, whether you revoke privileges, make them stand in the corner, or spank them. Most problems arising from punishment come from parents who don't do it lovingly. It doesn't matter what you do if you do it right. Don't spank children out of anger; spank them out of love. Make sure they understand you don't enjoy it. Always tell them why you spank them: to protect them from things far worse than a sore butt, because you love them.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

POTDs are chosen by all the mods and include a variety of funny, serious, debate posts etc. There is no 'set' POTD. If you have any suggestions for a POTD you can always suggest one!

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Thank you for responding to comments regarding disinterest in recent POTDs. I appreciate all that anyone who runs a site has to put into it, including time, effort, resources, and whatever else comes along with the territory. I am completely ok with different types of posts being featured. Funny, witty, serious, thought/comment-provoking; it's all good. Speaking only for myself, it seems as though lately, some of the POTDs have been rather average- as far as POTDs go. That is not to say that these are bad posts, merely that I don't see anything that distinguishes them from other posts. As a casual user, sometimes I log on just to see what has been picked for POTD. Sometimes it's not my style, but then, it's not my site. However, even in that case, I can usually understand why that post was selected to be featured. Sometimes the post was extra funny, offered a unique perspective, was so awkward that it had to be featured, or just offered something that people would either understand or appreciate. Some of the posts that have been featured lately don't really stand out to me in that way. I would say it's just me, but it seems as though other have expressed the same opinion. (->)

by Anonymous 12 years ago

(<--) (continued) Not to come off as unappreciate or as a complainer, I am not going to scream "OMG this site sucks now, I'm gone!" I say this just for the sake of expressing my opinion and desiring that this site continues to operate at the high level that it always has. Thanks for your effort.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Is it just me or did this used to say spanking?

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Yay, it's not just me

by Anonymous 12 years ago

The change to smacking made me change my vote about this

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I still don't know where I stand, but it's kind of absurd to completely change the meaning of someone's post...

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I disagreed mainly because of the inclusion of "necessary" - i don't think you can objectively argue that it's necessary. But I accept it as a valid punishment to be used at a parents discretion, perhaps saved only for the worst instances...but the word "necessary" is used incorrectly by the OP.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

hahahahahahhahahah oh my god this is potd oh my sides XD

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I was spanked a couple of times as a child, and it was certainly effective. Not because it hurt, my mother would never have ever wanted to hurt me (it made her cry to see me cry), but because it was so shameful. I think it can be a very useful punishment when carried out correctly, which is to say, not in anger, but in rationality by the parent.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

..why was this changed to "smacking?"

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I was spanked when I was younger for doing really bad things. Even to high school I still got a good smacking for sneaking away at night to go do dumb things with my classmates. That was the last time I ever did anything like that, and I like to think I'm a pretty okay person.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Oh. My. God. You people want to make me shove a screwdriver through my eye. Is there a single one of you that wasnt boringly pathetic enough to write "My opinion is passively/aggressively pro or con because I was raised a certain way and I 'turned out fine'". By the way the new admins suck almost as much as the post of the day. This was very obviously chosen not because it's a good Post but because whoever is now choosing the POTD agrees with it in full. You all disgust the part of my brain that likes things interesting

by Anonymous 12 years ago

Maybe if you smack your child off the street and into a pile of pillows or a serta mattress, this scenario would be appropriate.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I was only ever spanked for the big stuff such as lying. For the other stuff my mom's angry voice was more than enough to scare me shitless.

by Anonymous 12 years ago

I was only spanked a handful of times as a kid: Once for running out into the street when I was about three, once for running ahead of my mother in a parking lot when I was five, once for running off with a few of my friends to play without telling my parents where I was going when I was seven, and once for pinching my little brother and being mean to him when he was just a baby. For everything else my parents just yelled at me and I got the freaking hint; my dad was hardly ever mad back then, so when HE got mad, you KNEW they meant business. For what it's worth, I'm extremely cautious around streets and parking lots now, I never go anywhere without clearing it with my parents first, AND I'm only mean to my little brother when my parents are in the other room. So, you know, spanking works if you utilize it the right way, but yelling works pretty damn well, too; neither are "necessary" by any means. So parent's choice, I guess.

by Anonymous 12 years ago