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One of the most infuriating things in the world is when a parent refuses to acknowledge that your boundaries need to be respected by them, too, amirite?

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The thing that really bugs me, is the fact that my parents hate it when I just barge into their bedroom but they do the same with mine (my mum anyway). I don't get it, if something irritates you- why do it to others? Even if they're your child, bets are it's gonna bug 'em also.

Kaycees avatar Kaycee Yeah You Are +5Reply

My mom always told me to stand up for myself, to speak when something makes me uncomfortable. Well, in the last month ALONE she has barged in on me naked 3 times, two because she picked the lock the the bathroom door and let herself in while I was in the shower because she needed to pee even though we have two bathrooms, and once when I was in my room. Despite me throwing my body into the door when I can (I always change by the door so I can do this) and screaming at her, she will put her foot in the door and push back on it and be pissed off that I try closing the door in her face and has the nerve to say I'm the rude one who crossed the line- It's all I can do to not pick up the closest object and smack her upside the face with it. I've told her calmly that's a boundary she needs to respect. But no, in her mind I'm just a pissed off child who is over reacting about being seen, not a fully developed adult who wants her body to be kept to herself and feels violated and nearly homicidal when someone forces a situation in which I am completely exposed to someone I do not want to be exposed to.

Frank_n_Furters avatar Frank_n_Furter Yeah You Are +2Reply
@Frank_n_Furter My mom always told me to stand up for myself, to speak when something makes me uncomfortable. Well, in the last...

By scream at her, I mean more "AHH AXE MURDER OH ACTUALLY JUST MOM but still AHH!" not like, yelling at her, like "bitch WTF get out" or anything. But yeah, that's the story that inspired this post.

Frank_n_Furters avatar Frank_n_Furter Yeah You Are +2Reply
@Frank_n_Furter My mom always told me to stand up for myself, to speak when something makes me uncomfortable. Well, in the last...

I'm assuming you're both female, correct?

What's the issue? Your mom has seen you naked plenty of times before this. I can understand wanted privacy from someone who hasn't, but your own mom? Do you feel uncomfortable with your own mom seeing you naked?

@Sex_With_A_Snail I'm assuming you're both female, correct? What's the issue? Your mom has seen you naked plenty of times before...

Having your parent see you naked when you're older has a much different dynamic to it, there's suppose to be less of a power imbalance so it's disrespectful to just barge in on you.

More personally, I feel uncomfortable when my father sees me naked, the thing that makes it so horrid for me is his comments.
"Son, you're so damn feminine, why don't you work out? Girls like that sort of thing!"
"You're more feminine than your sister, are you sure you're fertile? You probably should have been the second daughter."
"You got your dick from me son! HAHA! Now I'm a bit sad for both of us."

That was before he got sober but even now, he barged in on my ex and I having sex on two separate occasions, why?
"I don't know, I was in town and I needed a bottle of water! Why would you expect me to knock?"

Seriously; the fuck is wrong with him?

Lens avatar Len Yeah You Are +8Reply
@Len Having your parent see you naked when you're older has a much different dynamic to it, there's suppose to be less...

That's different. He's actually teasing you because of your body.

I'm 18 and don't live with my mom anymore. If I was visiting her and she happened to see me naked I wouldn't freak out and neither would she.

I wouldn't go out of my way to show my mom my dick though, that's weird.

@Sex_With_A_Snail That's different. He's actually teasing you because of your body. I'm 18 and don't live with my mom anymore. If I...

"Having your parent see you naked when you're older has a much different dynamic to it, there's suppose to be less of a power imbalance so it's disrespectful to just barge in on you."
Was the most important point which I assure you has nothing to do with my father's comments.

Lens avatar Len Yeah You Are +2Reply
@Sex_With_A_Snail I'm assuming you're both female, correct? What's the issue? Your mom has seen you naked plenty of times before...

My ex boyfriends have seen me naked before, too. Just because it was OK in the past doesn't guarantee it's automatically OK now. She saw me naked when I had to have my diaper changed and be bathed, I didn't see my body as something sexual then, I have boobs and hips now, my body isn't even the same, and the only people I'm OK with seeing me naked are professionals like doctors and body piercers and my partner. Kids are supposed to start developing a sense of modesty around 6 or 7, closing the door when they change or use the bathroom and showing embarrassment when they are seen. If you wouldn't want someone else to see your kid naked when it makes them uncomfortable, it's a piss poor justification to say "well it's OK for me I get special exceptions because I'm a parent. I don't see why they should have a boundary with me so I'm not going to respect it." It doesn't matter if someone thinks your boundary is dumb, you respect it anyway because they deserve that as a human being. It doesn't matter if you think there's no reason to take your shoes off when you go in someone's house or wrap up their game console controller a certain way, you do it because it's their's and not yours.

Frank_n_Furters avatar Frank_n_Furter Yeah You Are +2Reply
@Frank_n_Furter My ex boyfriends have seen me naked before, too. Just because it was OK in the past doesn't guarantee it's...

I have to disagree.

Just because you have sexual parts doesn't mean your parents will see you in a sexual manner. My mom has walked in on me showering plenty of times and I don't have an issue with it. She's not doing it to see my dong, she's either using the restroom or getting something from the bathroom. I don't feel anything sexual from it, and neither does she.

I guess it all depends on how you were raised.

@Sex_With_A_Snail I have to disagree. Just because you have sexual parts doesn't mean your parents will see you in a sexual manner...

I didn't say my mom sees my body in a sexual manner. I see my body in a sexual manner, and I don't want to share that part of me. I was raised being taught to knock on the door before you enter and to cover yourself with a towel when you leave the bathroom and things like that, I agree it is a lot how you were raised. It's just annoying being raised to respect those boundaries for her and other people but not having that respect reciprocated, especially being an adult. I remember when I was 11 I got a rash for being allergic to a certain deodorant I had to go to the doctor and get lotion. She held me down kicking and screaming while she took my shirt off and tried to put the cream on. This only happened once because I kicked her in the face after she took my shirt off. That incident really crossed a line for me and only exacerbated my issue with her lack of respect, the fact she was so forceful about it that only kicking her in the face would get her to let up disturbed me. If my own mom wouldn't listen to me and I had to kick her, how would other people be?

Frank_n_Furters avatar Frank_n_Furter Yeah You Are 0Reply
@Frank_n_Furter I didn't say my mom sees my body in a sexual manner. I see my body in a sexual manner, and I don't want to...

Good for you. Don't let anyone, even a parent, do anything without your distinct approval and get away with it. Otherwise they'll never let you live it down. I have some serious regrets about letting people get away with stupid crap.

The problem is, if you tell your parents to respect your boundaries and stop treating you like such a child, you sound like a whiny teenager.

@Fluoxetine The problem is, if you tell your parents to respect your boundaries and stop treating you like such a child, you...

Yep. And that really shouldn't be a problem. If you tell someone to respect your boundaries, that's good. But if you tell your parents to do it, for some reason it's not.

Frank_n_Furters avatar Frank_n_Furter Yeah You Are 0Reply
@Frank_n_Furter Yep. And that really shouldn't be a problem. If you tell someone to respect your boundaries, that's good. But if...

It so inconsiderate when parents and older family members take any complaint from you as whiny. Mine do it all the time so now i seldomly complain to anyone.

Or maybe i'm just whiny..hah i hope not...

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