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It's arrogant to say "I forgive you" to someone if he/she never apologized. You end up sounding like you're trying to be the bigger person, which is pompous, especially if the person you forgave feels like he/she was the one who was wronged. Amirite?

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sabachthanis avatar Life
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They don't have to be sorry for you to forgive them. If I said to someone, "look, what you did made me feel absolutely horrible. But I know what you've been going through and it only happened once, so I think that I want to put our friendship first. I forgive you, but would you please try to be more conscientious?" This is a completely hypothetical situation, but I don't think it sounds arrogant. Being the bigger person isn't pompous, unless you're solely doing it to get under the other person's skin.

@Wunderscore They don't have to be sorry for you to forgive them. If I said to someone, "look, what you did made me feel...

if someone obviously wrongs you, and both of you know it, it's okay for you to say "i forgive you" even if he/she is too proud to apologize
but in situations where it's not clear who's right, or you only know your side of the story, i think it's pretty arrogant to automatically assume that your view of the situation is correct or you're the only person who's been wronged

sabachthanis avatar sabachthani Yeah You Are +3Reply
@sabachthani if someone obviously wrongs you, and both of you know it, it's okay for you to say "i forgive you" even if he/she...

If you feel that you have been wronged, then forgiving them is not arrogant. If you also wronged them, it's their choice whether or not to forgive you.

@Wunderscore If you feel that you have been wronged, then forgiving them is not arrogant. If you also wronged them, it's their...

I don't think it's arrogant to forgive them, but it can be arrogant to tell them. You sound like you expect them to be seeking forgiveness when they might not be

@Watchful_questioneer I don't think it's arrogant to forgive them, but it can be arrogant to tell them. You sound like you expect them to...

If I've been wronged and the other person realizes or not, or if they even care they've wronged me, for me to tell them I forgive them releases me from it and makes it easier to let go of the anger I feel - regardless of other other person. To forgive someone, regardless of what they think, is to forgive and move on. I really didn't care if the other person ever cared they had wronged me - I did what I needed to do for me to heal.

Sorry, I didn't know forgiveness was a bad thing.

@BetterThanEzra1119 Sorry, I didn't know forgiveness was a bad thing.

It could be though if you're letting people walk all over you like a doormat. Forgiveness is important, but you should try to learn from your experiences as well and not let people take advantage of you.

@Altoid_Freak_250 It could be though if you're letting people walk all over you like a doormat. Forgiveness is important, but you...

There's a difference between forgiveness and accepting people back into your life who hurt you. You don't have to wait for an apology to forgive.

@BetterThanEzra1119 There's a difference between forgiveness and accepting people back into your life who hurt you. You don't have to...

Mentally, I agree. But like the post said, sometimes it's a bit pompous to tell people that they are forgiven, because sometimes they feel like they haven't done anything wrong. Forgiving them in your mind and moving on with your life are just as important as letting the other person know they are forgiven.

I didn't really get what you meant till I read the comments, but yeah that makes sense.

cookiedoughs avatar cookiedough Yeah You Are 0Reply

I see your point but also agree with the first comment. It really depends on the person's attitude. Some people do not want to be forgiven because they get pleasure from the anger of the person they offended.

VicZincs avatar VicZinc Yeah You Are -1Reply
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