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It's stupid when people say things like "well I was spanked as a kid and I turned out fine, so spanking is just fine. It was the only thing that worked on me." Bullshit. No way your parents tried literally EVERYTHING. They just stopped trying to figure out new ways to deal with you after they tried spanking because it worked, cuz "why fix what isn't broken?"Just because something isn't traumatizing and you ended up OK doesn't mean better, more effective methods shouldn't be taught and be more common or that you couldn't have ended up better. Amirite?

84%Yeah You Are16%No Way
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I wanna go ahead and say, I was spanked as a kid and for the longest time I thought spanking was fine and people who said it wasn't were just over reacting. It worked, I turned out find, and that's all there is to it, right?

Then I noticed- all the kids who weren't spanked were against spanking because there were better alternatives and they knew it because their parents used those and it worked, and most the kids who were spanked thought it was OK because it worked. Just because you ended up fine doesn't mean you couldn't have ended up better. The fact that it's kids who were spanked that think spanking is OK really speaks volumes about the whole thing.

I started to look at studies.

It can cause aggressiveness, antisocial behavior, and delinquency. I was pretty fucking aggressive until I was order by the courts to take an anger management class. And as you can probably guess by the fact I was in court, I was a delinquent. I'm still pretty antisocial.

"Well just because it happened to you doesn't mean it will happen to all kids!" No, it doesn't. But that's like saying "dying your hair while pregnant increases the risk for birth defect" "well it doesn't happen to all moms who dye their hair while pregnant!" Why take the risk? Why not just not do things to your kid that are potentially harmful?

It sends the message to the child "I can get what I want through violence." People say it doesn't, but anyone who thinks that how a kids grew up, the kinds of things they saw, won't effect them as an adult is an idiot who doesn't understand the entire concept of how children learn- which is by observing the things around them and copying them. The things you see most often, the things you see that work, you copy them.

It makes the parent/child relationship less strong. The parent is an authoritarian figure, a punish-er, not someone to come to with your troubles, because mistakes might get you in trouble, punishments are something to resent.

A parent should be authoritative figure, someone who the child listens to and respects the rules, but feel like the can question them without being reprimanded, and feels like the punishments they get are fair and are because their parents love them.

So yeah. Just because something ain't "broke," go ahead and try to make it better anyway.

Frank_n_Furters avatar Frank_n_Furter Yeah You Are 0Reply

When I misbehaved, my sister got grounded, or I was made to see doctory people.

ItsATraps avatar ItsATrap Yeah You Are 0Reply
@ItsATrap When I misbehaved, my sister got grounded, or I was made to see doctory people.

I think I remember you at some point mentioning you were on the autism spectrum too? Is that why you were sent to doctory people?

Frank_n_Furters avatar Frank_n_Furter Yeah You Are 0Reply
@ItsATrap Yeah, though at the time no one knew.

If you don't mind sharing, what kind of behaviors got you sent to doctory people?

Frank_n_Furters avatar Frank_n_Furter Yeah You Are -1Reply
@Frank_n_Furter If you don't mind sharing, what kind of behaviors got you sent to doctory people?

I think just being violent and difficult. I was told once that one of my sisters teachers called about a social worker because they thought our mom was abusive, but it was just me.

ItsATraps avatar ItsATrap Yeah You Are 0Reply

There are times spanking is necessary. Telling someone to stand in the corner, or taking their stuff away isnt going to work. Sometimes a child needs to fear the fathers hand. I was spanked and not only did I turn out fine but I condone my own spanking because there were times I needed it and taking something of mine away would only anger me more when spanking made me know that I was in the wrong.

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