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Also about simple, hurting, and excuses
+214If you have to use the excuses, "It's my life," or "I'm not hurting anyone," you know that there is SOMETHING wrong with what you're doing. It's as simple as that, amirite? Also about Jokes & Humour
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In other words
when apologizing sincerely
one doesn't try to justify the pain he/she caused
they know it was wrong to cause pain
and they make no excuses for their wrongdoing
I had a wise mentor once who always tried to avoid using two words: "but" and "them".
I find it very difficult to do and this post/comment just reminded me of him and his reasoning behind it. I am going to try again, for similar reasons.
But almost always precedes an excuse, and them is almost always implies that we thing we are better.
He said you can almost always substitute
"and" for "but"
and
"us" for "them"
Thanks for the reminder.
well you made a post about eliminating the word they
and they doesn't imply better than
it's only if you wanna take it that way
I love it when I get an apology for something, then the offender does the exact same thing again. Obviously, you're not sorry at all and are just exercising your lips if you apologize and then just repeat whatever action you "apologized" for.
You can't just apologize for hurting someone's feelings! That makes the assumption that the person's feelings are justified, and that's not always the case. I don't necessarily like to apologize for the way I acted, but rather for causing the other person some sort of hurt. I tend not to do stuff that I regret or find unreasonable. If that's the case, I will certainly apologize for hurting the other person and provide reasons for why I did it, but I don't like apologizing with no qualifiers/explanations, especially if I stand by how I acted.
What I'm trying to say is that this is a generalization, and generalizations are false. Even that one, though I have yet to find the exception.
OH YEAH
this one's my favorite
"I'm sorry I beat you up. You MADE me do it!"
Agreed, however the apologizer often has something they need to get off their chest too. When they explain this after apologizing the apologizee needs to understand and not read it as an excuse for their behavior.
As soon as that 'but' comes out, it totally negates the apology.
Hey, I'm am sorry you feel this way.
That's an awful apology! Hey, I'm sorry that you're at fault. Sorry I made you feel this way at least accepts partial blame
Then then other person's like "sorry for what?"