Everyone will have broke at least two world records in their lifetime, youngest person on Earth and closest to death, amirite?

You can extrapolate this to infinite number of world records!

• youngest 1 year old
• youngest 2 year old
• youngest teenager
• youngest adult

Etc. etc.

You are a walking world record every millisecond of your life!

That's not what a world record is. You would have to be the youngest person ever, which is meaningless.

Everyone is a winner! Lovely. Enjoy the fame for 0.25, and 0.5 seconds.

If everybody does it then it's not a record.