We were all once our father's sperm, racing against millions of others for our own survival, and against all odds… finished in first place. amirite?

It's not really a race

Depends on what we have won really

Yeah that's not how it works

The smartass are all ejaculated by masturbation

You were equally your mother's egg, just chillin

For this miserable life? Wish I hadn't finished at first place.

Well actually the first sperm that arrives breaks egg so the second place sperm is the winner.

Nah... only half of you was in that sperm cell.
The other half was in the egg it fertilized.