I inspect nursing homes for regulatory compliance. I've been doing it 22 years. Most in my area are very well run and they take good care of their residents. Do you get your teeth cleaned and cared for by a dentist because it's inconvenient for you to do it yourself or because they have better skills/knowledge than you? When your car needs work do you take it to a mechanic because it's inconvenient for you to do it yourself or because they have better skills/knowledge than you? If you get sick do you go to a MD because it's inconvenient for you to do it yourself or because they have better skills/knowledge than you? Do you buy your food from a store or do you grow it yourself because it's inconvenient for you to farm, harvest and process it yourself or because others have better skills/knowledge than you? If you had chronic health conditions would you want family members taking care of you or would you rather be in a nursing home where people like MDs, pharmacists, dietitians, Nurses, nurse aides collaborate to take care of you?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

This is such an amazing reply.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Or it could be your loved one needs care you are unable to provide while working full time and caring for your small children. It might be that after the 10th time they have fallen while trying to use the bathroom, you've decided you need help. It could be that every time you help them wipe afterwards they cry because "I never wanted you to have to do this." Embarrassed and helpless they get sad and depressed for feeling like a burden, no matter how many times you tell them it's ok, you want to help. It might be the infections they got during their last test, procedure, fall. Having the wound refuse to heal even though you change the bandages every day. The fact that because they're embarrassed, sad, and in pain you search for a solution; you get help. Maybe it has something to do with them being 175lbs and you're alone so you just don't have the power to do it without help. Maybe you just can't watch one of the people you love the most waste away while you stand there every day knowing there is nothing you can do. Maybe it's all the sleepless nights. Maybe it's because you'll always be their child and they refuse to cooperate. Maybe it's because after the 3rd battle with c-diff, 2 case of sepsis, 6th fall resulting in stitches and brain bruises, the 3rd time they've broken the same foot and finally the brain cancer you just have no more left. I'm sure some people are housed because it's just "more convenient" but for most of us, it was a gut wrenching last resort decision that you feel forced into making. Maybe we wish we were more so we wouldn't have to have made that decision and it eats us alive every day because we didn't really have any other options. Maybe we feel guilty because they gave everything for you and you just can't do the same. Maybe, just maybe you have zero experience in this matter and you should just be quiet.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Well said. I wish you luck with what you're going through.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

by Anonymous 2 years ago

You've never had to be a caretaker for someone with all-consuming needs. It is profoundly difficult. Sometimes, assisted living or nursing homes are the best of all the bad options you have.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

To be honest, this though came to me after I distilled down what nursing homes seem to be at their most base. I did not mean this maliciously.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Yeah, I appreciate that. Our caretaking system is not great but a lot of us just have little to no choice in it.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Amen.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Old ones. Young ones go to nurseries

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Hmmm. Somewhat, yes. Its where we throw away our elderly. Some people who love their senior family members don't have a choice as they can't care for them. But they as a group are disrespected and mistreated overall. Very sad.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Or once indispensable assholes

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I work in a resident home. I love my residents and make sure they are well cared for, as do my kind, hard-working coworkers. Many of these residents cannot safely live in a normal home and they need physical therapists, nurses, and CNAs around the clock. It is very time consuming, and family members of residents simply cannot do it once people decline to a certain level. It's not just a matter of convenience. It's a matter of safety.

by Anonymous 2 years ago