Some lucky person is going to be the first human to ever masturbate on Mars, amirite?

Marsturbation

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Olympic Monsterbation

by Anonymous 2 years ago

The real lucky person gets to have sex.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

...with who?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Lord Elon, of course

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Ah. Got it

by Anonymous 2 years ago

So no sex, got it.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Even luckier if it's with an alien

by Anonymous 2 years ago

☝️phone home?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Again, Elon.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Wrong, we're going to Mars to protect our virginity.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

That sometimes is someone else other than me.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

That's one small spank for man, one giant wank for humanity.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

- Neil Forearmstrong

by Anonymous 2 years ago

• Buzz Foreskin

by Anonymous 2 years ago

30 seconds to Mars

by Anonymous 2 years ago

optimist today arent you ?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

You spelled lonely wrong

by Anonymous 2 years ago

And eating Mars chocolate

by Anonymous 2 years ago

With a penis vein of chocolate on it

by Anonymous 2 years ago

probably shoots further with the lower gravitational pull

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Lucky person to be born there.... the Martian,,

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Elon Musk, right?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Lucky?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Get your junk to Mars!

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Are you thinking about Elon Musk?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Shoot it onto the surface, see if it grows

by Anonymous 2 years ago

dibs.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

did it back in 2004, she was a stripper and her name was mars it was astronomical!!!

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Going to be?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

What's that supposed to imply lol

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Why does that make them lucky?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

it's going to be me

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Dibs!

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Interesting

by Anonymous 2 years ago

yet unfortunate enough to not finding a girlfriend on earth

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Dibs

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Nah too sandy.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Somewhere, Buzz Aldrin just grinned.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Hopefully it's me

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Doubt

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I don't know how lucky I'd call them. It turns out that getting and maintaining an erection is rather gravity dependent. Our circulatory system did not evolve to amount for reduced gravity. It won't be as bad as it is in microgravity but it's still likely to be difficult enough that you'll need to use some of the colony's finite supply of viagra to have a physically exhausting scheduled jerk session where you can only get a half chub anyway.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Which is why it probs won't be a man. OP said person. Luckily there's more than one gender. 🤫

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I will admit that I'm less familiar with the female body than the male but they still evolved on a planet with roughly 1G and have a circulatory system, right?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

If women can live on the space station for a year in minimal gravity and be just fine they'll be fine orgasming on Mars. Women can have multiple orgasms back to back in regular gravity and most men can't… women's ‘circulatory system' doesn't work like men's. It's just regular blood flow within the body. But there's only one way to find out for sure. Time to apply for that research grant!

by Anonymous 2 years ago