+142
Everything can be a murder weapon if used right.
by Anonymous1 year ago
Or if used wrong.
by Anonymous1 year ago
LoL i liked it
by Anonymous1 year ago
Not murder if due to negligence.
by Anonymous1 year ago
Literally the first thing that popped in my head too.
by Anonymous1 year ago
Then by logic, everything is always a murder weapon.
by Anonymous1 year ago
>...if used right.
I don't know. If I use a shovel right I'll most likely just dig a hole, not murder someone.
by Anonymous1 year ago
Well digging the hole is the first step.
by Anonymous1 year ago
Dig two if you are planning to eat ice cream
by Anonymous1 year ago
If you dig a hole in a person I don't think they'll be very alive at the end of it
by Anonymous1 year ago
If you use the shovel "correctly" you'd be digging a whole, but to use the shovel "right" could mean any number of things that don't require digging.
by Anonymous1 year ago
Anything can be anything if you're capable enough
by Anonymous1 year ago
I made a perfectly good keyboard out of mashed potatos
by Anonymous1 year ago
You're more capable than anyone I know
by Anonymous1 year ago
But can you make perfectly good mashed potatoes out of a keyboard?
by Anonymous1 year ago
Way ahead of you
by Anonymous1 year ago
Well some dude did make hot sauce out of plastic gloves i believe, and cotten candy out of cotten. So if its possible the way cam be found.
by Anonymous1 year ago
All you needed was mashed potatoes, a string, and a keyboard.
by Anonymous1 year ago
Eat mashed potatoes, use potato energy to work in keyboard factory. See, it's possible.
by Anonymous1 year ago
Anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough
by Anonymous1 year ago
*raises hand*
" is mayonnaise a dildo?"
by Anonymous1 year ago
Depends on the temperature.
by Anonymous1 year ago
I made a nuke out of mud and sticks
by Anonymous1 year ago
That's very capable.
by Anonymous1 year ago
or if you redefine words
by Anonymous1 year ago
Look! I made a makeshift shirt out of a pair of pants!
by Anonymous1 year ago
Sounds like the motto of 5minutecraft
by Anonymous1 year ago
Anything can be food if you can crush it enough
by Anonymous1 year ago
MacGyver has entered the chat
by Anonymous1 year ago
And jesus has left.
by Anonymous1 year ago
*hits blunt*
Hell yeah, stranger
by Anonymous1 year ago
Any machine can be a smoke machine if you use it wrong enough
by Anonymous1 year ago
Medium rare or well done?
by Anonymous1 year ago
I like my chicken rare
by Anonymous1 year ago
Learned it the hard way several times when moved from a 110V to a 220V place
by Anonymous1 year ago
This is actually a common misconception. All machines are really powered by smoke, the electricity just keeps the smoke in. That's why so many machines smoke when they break, it's the power escaping.
by Anonymous1 year ago
Yup. Not supposed to let the magic smoke out of em
by Anonymous1 year ago
Yes, even this slice of bread in my hand!
by Anonymous1 year ago
Yep! You can choke on bread. Shoving it down someone's airway would probably kill them. Or idk set it on fire or something.
by Anonymous1 year ago
Then you would be killing them with toast, not bread
by Anonymous1 year ago
Is toast not still bread?
by Anonymous1 year ago
Toast is not bread. It has been burned which is a chemically irreversible process. Therefore it is toast.
by Anonymous1 year ago
No, it's toast. The name changed, therefor making it no longer bread, or at least, not vanilla bread.
by Anonymous1 year ago
What is toast if not bread everlasting?
by Anonymous1 year ago
You've heard of water boarding, get ready for Bread Boarding *coming to back alleys near you*
by Anonymous1 year ago
Even a single atom can be a murder weapon
You just gotta break it in half
by Anonymous1 year ago
Once had a a kid I went to school with assert this while we were waiting for the bus. The rest of us then proceeded to challenge him to explain everything that popped into our heads. He convinced a few of us. Years later after he graduated, he became a marine I'm even more convinced that he could now.
by Anonymous1 year ago
Sounds like he just wanted to kill people.
by Anonymous1 year ago
I guess that's one reason to join the Marines.
by Anonymous1 year ago
Translation:
There was a kid I went to school with who made a similar statement while we were waiting for the bus. We all gave him statements which would counter this argument, but he was able to find an explanation for all of them.
After he graduated, he became a marine, so I believe he is capable of the statement made.
by Anonymous1 year ago
This sounds like you translated it to German, then back into English.
by Anonymous1 year ago
Lol funnily enough I aspire to learn German eventually. ADHD makes it difficult to retain a second language though.
by Anonymous1 year ago
I had to read twice but it isn't thaaat bad.
by Anonymous1 year ago
Why did it need translating?
by Anonymous1 year ago
is this AI generated
by Anonymous1 year ago
kill somebody with a drop of water (without shooting it at them at the speed of light)
by Anonymous1 year ago
Ok 99% the speed of light
by Anonymous1 year ago
That is close enough to the speed of light that whaever would happen at the speed of light would happen at 99%. Anything that travels at speed if light or is made to do so will convert to light itself. Per the mass/ energy equalency understanding mass and energy are the same thing, their state of being in mass form or energy form is dependent on their existential velocities. A photon is a photon because it exists at velocity C if photon exists at velocity not C then it is no longer a photon. An electron is traveling close to C and so it is a electron, if you can move its speed up then it will not be a electron it will be a photon. All elementary speeds are fixed if you variate the speeds even slightly the properties change. Hence speed is a byproduct of the specific matter in question, if you change the byproduct you are then ofcourse changing the product also.
If water moved at speed of light then it wont be water it would be light moving. If you tried to move water or anything else towards speed of light it would convert back to energy and again you would have light moving
by Anonymous1 year ago
i'm not sure that'll do it
by Anonymous1 year ago
Yes it would lol it would decimate them
by Anonymous1 year ago
Kick someone out of a plane at high altitude above water.
water 'drop'
by Anonymous1 year ago
i don't like you
by Anonymous1 year ago
Put it in your vein, a very specific vein.
by Anonymous1 year ago
Twice the speed of light
by Anonymous1 year ago
that is physically impossible without a hyperdrive
by Anonymous1 year ago
Reminds me of the Riddick "death by teacup" scene
by Anonymous1 year ago
Tea, actually
by Anonymous1 year ago
True. This reminds me of a short story by Roald Dahl about a frozen leg of lamb.
by Anonymous1 year ago
This reminds me of "everything is a dildo if you're brave enough"
by Anonymous1 year ago
I've heard something similar, "anything can be a dildo if you try hard enough". I wanna say parks and rec but we can't trust my 5am memory.
by Anonymous1 year ago
A one inch piece of string
by Anonymous1 year ago
I have you restrained. I then use the string to tie around a finger tightly. I feed you and care for you so you don't die in other ways. The tied finger loses circulation and dies. You die quickly from infection caused by this. The string is the murder weapon. Before you say infection is the murder weapon, blood loss or lack of adequate medical attention is not considered the murder weapon when shot by a gun.
by Anonymous1 year ago
Fair enough, points for the creative method. How would you kill me with a single clover leaf?
by Anonymous1 year ago
Thats a hard one. If you are deathly allergic to clover than we are done.
There are poisonous clovers though not lethal enough to kill with one clover leaf. Over time if you eat a lot you could die from red clover and I guess I could argue that it was one clover leaf too many. That's kinda silly though.
A ladino clover leaf can grow up to 3 inches long. I feel like that's big enough to suffocate someone idk.
by Anonymous1 year ago
put it under your eyelid, wait until you get an infection and not treat it. it's close to the brain so we don't have to wait long either
by Anonymous1 year ago
This is probably the closest one could get to killing someone with a clover
Chances are the eye would push the clover out naturally, you'd have to prevent it from coming out with something else which might affect the rules or something lol
Maybe if it was a whole clover with a decently thick stem you could jab it at the eyeball and hope to make a puncture
by Anonymous1 year ago
Put it somewhere on a place which wouldn't make you able to breathe
by Anonymous1 year ago
By accelerating it to relativisitic speeds.
by Anonymous1 year ago
That would work, but whatever device you used to accelerate it would be considered the murder weapon. You don't call the bullet the murder weapon when somebody's shot, after all.
by Anonymous1 year ago
I actually went over this with a feather... you can simply place it in space and use gravitational assistance to accelerate it. The movement of the planets would be enough to give it some inertia to start.
However... it would take a lot of time, and an absolutely ridiculous amount of accuracy or luck... unluck? To have that happen. You wouldnt need relativistic speeds either, mach 7 should do it, I only said that because anything going a significant fraction of lightspeed hitting you would kill you, except perhaps a single atom, which would probably just pass right through unnoticed.
by Anonymous1 year ago
A one inch piece of overcooked spaghetti.
by Anonymous1 year ago
Ban everything
by Anonymous1 year ago
Sir, I put it to you there are many things that could not be a murder weapon and kill someone.
- A teaspoon of jello.
- A foam ear plug
- One fingernail clipping
- a strand of hair
- a small amount of cotton candy
- Brussels from a tooth brush
- bubbles
- plaque from someone's teeth
- one inch of sellotape
That's excluding intangible things that likely fall under the definition of "everything" (e.g. data)
by Anonymous1 year ago
The teaspoon could be stabbed into a persons eye. Jello is just a bonus.
The hair could be from a animal that they are deathly allergic to. Same with the mail clipping.
A small amount of cotton candy could cause complications for a diabetic person.
The toothbrush bristles if could cause damage and infection in the intestines if enough are swallowed.
Bubbles could be filled with deadly gases.
Poor dental hygiene is it's own weapon.
And sellotape is a easy one. Just dissolve the solvent in acetone, add some high strength peroxide and bam you have a highly unstable explosive.
/s of course.
by Anonymous1 year ago
You'll die if any if those things got injected into an important part of your bloodstream though.
by Anonymous1 year ago
One meter tall rubber duck, do your magic!
by Anonymous1 year ago
This statement reminds me of that guy that can make knives out of anything.
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