Everything can be a murder weapon if used right.

Or if used wrong.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

LoL i liked it

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Not murder if due to negligence.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Literally the first thing that popped in my head too.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Then by logic, everything is always a murder weapon.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

>...if used right. I don't know. If I use a shovel right I'll most likely just dig a hole, not murder someone.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Well digging the hole is the first step.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Dig two if you are planning to eat ice cream

by Anonymous 2 years ago

If you dig a hole in a person I don't think they'll be very alive at the end of it

by Anonymous 2 years ago

If you use the shovel "correctly" you'd be digging a whole, but to use the shovel "right" could mean any number of things that don't require digging.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Anything can be anything if you're capable enough

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I made a perfectly good keyboard out of mashed potatos

by Anonymous 2 years ago

You're more capable than anyone I know

by Anonymous 2 years ago

But can you make perfectly good mashed potatoes out of a keyboard?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Way ahead of you

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Well some dude did make hot sauce out of plastic gloves i believe, and cotten candy out of cotten. So if its possible the way cam be found.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

All you needed was mashed potatoes, a string, and a keyboard.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Eat mashed potatoes, use potato energy to work in keyboard factory. See, it's possible.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough

by Anonymous 2 years ago

*raises hand* " is mayonnaise a dildo?"

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Depends on the temperature.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I made a nuke out of mud and sticks

by Anonymous 2 years ago

That's very capable.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

or if you redefine words

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Look! I made a makeshift shirt out of a pair of pants!

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Sounds like the motto of 5minutecraft

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Anything can be food if you can crush it enough

by Anonymous 2 years ago

MacGyver has entered the chat

by Anonymous 2 years ago

And jesus has left.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

*hits blunt* Hell yeah, stranger

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Any machine can be a smoke machine if you use it wrong enough

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Medium rare or well done?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I like my chicken rare

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Learned it the hard way several times when moved from a 110V to a 220V place

by Anonymous 2 years ago

This is actually a common misconception. All machines are really powered by smoke, the electricity just keeps the smoke in. That's why so many machines smoke when they break, it's the power escaping.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Yup. Not supposed to let the magic smoke out of em

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Yes, even this slice of bread in my hand!

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Yep! You can choke on bread. Shoving it down someone's airway would probably kill them. Or idk set it on fire or something.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Then you would be killing them with toast, not bread

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Is toast not still bread?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Toast is not bread. It has been burned which is a chemically irreversible process. Therefore it is toast.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

No, it's toast. The name changed, therefor making it no longer bread, or at least, not vanilla bread.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

What is toast if not bread everlasting?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

You've heard of water boarding, get ready for Bread Boarding *coming to back alleys near you*

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Even a single atom can be a murder weapon You just gotta break it in half

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Once had a a kid I went to school with assert this while we were waiting for the bus. The rest of us then proceeded to challenge him to explain everything that popped into our heads. He convinced a few of us. Years later after he graduated, he became a marine I'm even more convinced that he could now.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Sounds like he just wanted to kill people.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I guess that's one reason to join the Marines.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Translation: There was a kid I went to school with who made a similar statement while we were waiting for the bus. We all gave him statements which would counter this argument, but he was able to find an explanation for all of them. After he graduated, he became a marine, so I believe he is capable of the statement made.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

This sounds like you translated it to German, then back into English.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Lol funnily enough I aspire to learn German eventually. ADHD makes it difficult to retain a second language though.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I had to read twice but it isn't thaaat bad.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Why did it need translating?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

is this AI generated

by Anonymous 2 years ago

kill somebody with a drop of water (without shooting it at them at the speed of light)

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Ok 99% the speed of light

by Anonymous 2 years ago

That is close enough to the speed of light that whaever would happen at the speed of light would happen at 99%. Anything that travels at speed if light or is made to do so will convert to light itself. Per the mass/ energy equalency understanding mass and energy are the same thing, their state of being in mass form or energy form is dependent on their existential velocities. A photon is a photon because it exists at velocity C if photon exists at velocity not C then it is no longer a photon. An electron is traveling close to C and so it is a electron, if you can move its speed up then it will not be a electron it will be a photon. All elementary speeds are fixed if you variate the speeds even slightly the properties change. Hence speed is a byproduct of the specific matter in question, if you change the byproduct you are then ofcourse changing the product also. If water moved at speed of light then it wont be water it would be light moving. If you tried to move water or anything else towards speed of light it would convert back to energy and again you would have light moving

by Anonymous 2 years ago

i'm not sure that'll do it

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Yes it would lol it would decimate them

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Kick someone out of a plane at high altitude above water. water 'drop'

by Anonymous 2 years ago

i don't like you

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Put it in your vein, a very specific vein.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Twice the speed of light

by Anonymous 2 years ago

that is physically impossible without a hyperdrive

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Reminds me of the Riddick "death by teacup" scene

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Tea, actually

by Anonymous 2 years ago

True. This reminds me of a short story by Roald Dahl about a frozen leg of lamb.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

This reminds me of "everything is a dildo if you're brave enough"

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I've heard something similar, "anything can be a dildo if you try hard enough". I wanna say parks and rec but we can't trust my 5am memory.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

A one inch piece of string

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I have you restrained. I then use the string to tie around a finger tightly. I feed you and care for you so you don't die in other ways. The tied finger loses circulation and dies. You die quickly from infection caused by this. The string is the murder weapon. Before you say infection is the murder weapon, blood loss or lack of adequate medical attention is not considered the murder weapon when shot by a gun.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Fair enough, points for the creative method. How would you kill me with a single clover leaf?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Thats a hard one. If you are deathly allergic to clover than we are done. There are poisonous clovers though not lethal enough to kill with one clover leaf. Over time if you eat a lot you could die from red clover and I guess I could argue that it was one clover leaf too many. That's kinda silly though. A ladino clover leaf can grow up to 3 inches long. I feel like that's big enough to suffocate someone idk.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

put it under your eyelid, wait until you get an infection and not treat it. it's close to the brain so we don't have to wait long either

by Anonymous 2 years ago

This is probably the closest one could get to killing someone with a clover Chances are the eye would push the clover out naturally, you'd have to prevent it from coming out with something else which might affect the rules or something lol Maybe if it was a whole clover with a decently thick stem you could jab it at the eyeball and hope to make a puncture

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Put it somewhere on a place which wouldn't make you able to breathe

by Anonymous 2 years ago

By accelerating it to relativisitic speeds.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

That would work, but whatever device you used to accelerate it would be considered the murder weapon. You don't call the bullet the murder weapon when somebody's shot, after all.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I actually went over this with a feather... you can simply place it in space and use gravitational assistance to accelerate it. The movement of the planets would be enough to give it some inertia to start. However... it would take a lot of time, and an absolutely ridiculous amount of accuracy or luck... unluck? To have that happen. You wouldnt need relativistic speeds either, mach 7 should do it, I only said that because anything going a significant fraction of lightspeed hitting you would kill you, except perhaps a single atom, which would probably just pass right through unnoticed.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

A one inch piece of overcooked spaghetti.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Ban everything

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Sir, I put it to you there are many things that could not be a murder weapon and kill someone. - A teaspoon of jello. - A foam ear plug - One fingernail clipping - a strand of hair - a small amount of cotton candy - Brussels from a tooth brush - bubbles - plaque from someone's teeth - one inch of sellotape That's excluding intangible things that likely fall under the definition of "everything" (e.g. data)

by Anonymous 2 years ago

The teaspoon could be stabbed into a persons eye. Jello is just a bonus. The hair could be from a animal that they are deathly allergic to. Same with the mail clipping. A small amount of cotton candy could cause complications for a diabetic person. The toothbrush bristles if could cause damage and infection in the intestines if enough are swallowed. Bubbles could be filled with deadly gases. Poor dental hygiene is it's own weapon. And sellotape is a easy one. Just dissolve the solvent in acetone, add some high strength peroxide and bam you have a highly unstable explosive. /s of course.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

You'll die if any if those things got injected into an important part of your bloodstream though.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

One meter tall rubber duck, do your magic!

by Anonymous 2 years ago

This statement reminds me of that guy that can make knives out of anything.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Safety ball pit?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

It's a ball pit. Has all the germs

by Anonymous 2 years ago