LPT: don't be friends with people who try to create division in your relationship.
And I don't mean friends who are critical only sometimes or here and there, that's normal. If you love your SO and you have a friend that bitches about everything they do and is pushy about the idea that you shouldn't be with them, it's time to distance yourself.
yeah, I completely agree. "It's my life / body" ok, and we're a couple, sometimes little tweaks and changes need to happen to make it work. if it's not a huge ask and you're open to compromise, it should be acceptable. that's how people grow.
It's totally fine if you ask your SO/date what they like, consider it, and if it's cool with you do it/try it. It's quite another thing if an SO unprompted tells you you'd look better with red hair.
Yup, my girlfriend prefers a certain cologne so that's the one I wear, I don't mind how it smells, it's not my favorite either, but since it's her favorite I'll wear it for her, I make her happy while there are no drawbacks for me, win win
I grow out my nails because he thinks it's cool, and I avoid picking at them. It's a total winwin since my nails have never been so well cared for before
Though, they're currently short to give me a break since my thumbnails tend to crack after a while. Guess what? He's fine with that too, and think short nails look fine!
Idk if it's something small like that, I want his input because it helps me make my mind up
These are usually the people who like to act independent but are lonely, they fail to realise doing something for somebody you care, to make them happy, because you care about them, is perfectly fine as long as it doesn't hurt you and makes you happy.
If it's for him and him knowing it'll turn you on too, Win/Win situation, cool.
If it's really for his boys living out their fantasy through him through you, because he's probably gonna tell them how you did him... Ehhh, I'd be weary cause that's objectification territory and you're the customizable doll, unless that's your kink and you don't mind then win/win.
If you truly love someone, then their opinion matters to you. It isn't the same as seeking approval in an unhealthy way. But let's get real. Deep inside, if we are honest, there is a natural human desire for approval. We want it from our parents. We want it from our friends. And we definitely want it from our mates. It is a perfectly natural and human thing.
It only becomes a true problem when we either completely deny it (like the girls coming in and saying that he should not have any say) or we let it control us and our own behavior (like selling out who we are to try to please someone else).
Once again, it's about balance. Something our society is seriously lacking right now.
I feel like people forget that liking something or agreeing with something is quite literally how hobbies and shared interests came about in the first place
Yup. Your boyfriend is a person you allowed into your inner circle, so their opinion is just as valid (if not more valid) as that of any friend or relative.
My husband likes my natural hair color and for it to be long. I save money dying my hair, it's healthier. I like shoulder length hair better on me so i cut long bangs and layers but keep the rest long. I like being attractive to my partner, so I dont mind compromising. Its not like he asked me to alter my appearance, and he merely suggested this things through compliments. There are things I suggest he do too, like keeping a tidy beard, and I tell him he looks handsome when he dresses nice to go out. I'll never surrender my animal print clothes though.
I think people don't understand that successful relationships necessarily entail compromise. You will never find someone who agrees with you on EVERYTHING, and someone will have to forego their preference.
If you're of them opinion that you should never have to do something you don't want to, then stay single because you're too selfish to make a relationship work
Taking someone's opinion into account and doing whatever they tell you despite your own wishes, are two very different things. As long as the person understands that, I see no problem with it.
He absolutely doesn't get any decision making power. But he does get to have a preference/opinion, and you're more than welcome to cater to that if you so choose.
I see no issue as long as they like it too and it's doing no harm.
If you're altering yourself in a way you don't like to make someone else happy, yeah that's not good.
Literally fine? You ok, op?
If I have expectations of what I find attractive in a woman, so too does she have the right to have expectations of me.
LPT: don't be friends with people who try to create division in your relationship.
And I don't mean friends who are critical only sometimes or here and there, that's normal. If you love your SO and you have a friend that bitches about everything they do and is pushy about the idea that you shouldn't be with them, it's time to distance yourself.
"It is not his body, he get no say"
It is easy to say when you don't need to look at it all day and compliment it./s
yeah, I completely agree. "It's my life / body" ok, and we're a couple, sometimes little tweaks and changes need to happen to make it work. if it's not a huge ask and you're open to compromise, it should be acceptable. that's how people grow.
I mean, I don't think changing your nails should be big enough to make or break the relationship .
I agree, but you used "literally".
You would despise SoCal
I do despise SoCal 😁
It's totally fine if you ask your SO/date what they like, consider it, and if it's cool with you do it/try it. It's quite another thing if an SO unprompted tells you you'd look better with red hair.
This isn't unpopular amongst normal people, only femcels
My partner likes me with a beard so I have a beard. I don't have to shave and she likes my face. Win-win.
Yup, my girlfriend prefers a certain cologne so that's the one I wear, I don't mind how it smells, it's not my favorite either, but since it's her favorite I'll wear it for her, I make her happy while there are no drawbacks for me, win win
Opposite deal for me, mine prefers me clean shaven so I shave. Makes no difference for me and makes her happy, win-win
Yeah, I tell my wife all the time she has to look at me more than I do, so if she is happy with how I look I am happy.
It's called compromise, only entitled people don't understand this very common concept.
Depends what they ask
I grow out my nails because he thinks it's cool, and I avoid picking at them. It's a total winwin since my nails have never been so well cared for before
Though, they're currently short to give me a break since my thumbnails tend to crack after a while. Guess what? He's fine with that too, and think short nails look fine!
Idk if it's something small like that, I want his input because it helps me make my mind up
These are usually the people who like to act independent but are lonely, they fail to realise doing something for somebody you care, to make them happy, because you care about them, is perfectly fine as long as it doesn't hurt you and makes you happy.
You do things for your SO because it makes them happy. That a big part of a relationship. They've been poisoned to think that's wrong in some way.
If it's for him and him knowing it'll turn you on too, Win/Win situation, cool.
If it's really for his boys living out their fantasy through him through you, because he's probably gonna tell them how you did him... Ehhh, I'd be weary cause that's objectification territory and you're the customizable doll, unless that's your kink and you don't mind then win/win.
If you truly love someone, then their opinion matters to you. It isn't the same as seeking approval in an unhealthy way. But let's get real. Deep inside, if we are honest, there is a natural human desire for approval. We want it from our parents. We want it from our friends. And we definitely want it from our mates. It is a perfectly natural and human thing.
It only becomes a true problem when we either completely deny it (like the girls coming in and saying that he should not have any say) or we let it control us and our own behavior (like selling out who we are to try to please someone else).
Once again, it's about balance. Something our society is seriously lacking right now.
i read boyfriend as bodyguard
Literally?
You ever been to the valley or?
👍
Or husband.
Ignore people like that. Use your common sense.
I feel like people forget that liking something or agreeing with something is quite literally how hobbies and shared interests came about in the first place
Yup. Your boyfriend is a person you allowed into your inner circle, so their opinion is just as valid (if not more valid) as that of any friend or relative.
It's make more sense if those people said something like not his body not his final say
"a bunch of girls saying the same damn "it's not his body, he gets no say"
And just like the men that do this, they are also single and without bf/gf. I think the reason why should be obvious.
My husband likes my natural hair color and for it to be long. I save money dying my hair, it's healthier. I like shoulder length hair better on me so i cut long bangs and layers but keep the rest long. I like being attractive to my partner, so I dont mind compromising. Its not like he asked me to alter my appearance, and he merely suggested this things through compliments. There are things I suggest he do too, like keeping a tidy beard, and I tell him he looks handsome when he dresses nice to go out. I'll never surrender my animal print clothes though.
I think people don't understand that successful relationships necessarily entail compromise. You will never find someone who agrees with you on EVERYTHING, and someone will have to forego their preference.
If you're of them opinion that you should never have to do something you don't want to, then stay single because you're too selfish to make a relationship work
Taking someone's opinion into account and doing whatever they tell you despite your own wishes, are two very different things. As long as the person understands that, I see no problem with it.
I'm with you.
He absolutely doesn't get any decision making power. But he does get to have a preference/opinion, and you're more than welcome to cater to that if you so choose.