+137 Vampires who sleep in coffins must be aching all over when they wake up, due to the poor mattress options such bedframes permit. amirite?

by Anonymous 3 years ago

Vampires have old money. They have custom coffins, the old wooden box is just what they show you in movies.

by Anonymous 3 years ago

If we go by vampire lore, they have faster healing and regeneration so even if they were aching it would be over in minutes.

by Anonymous 3 years ago

bro, you didn't know? Vampires become a liquid when they sleep!

by Anonymous 3 years ago

That's cats, not vampires.

by Anonymous 3 years ago

no, cats \*liquidate\* when they sleep.

by Anonymous 3 years ago

Rather, they have always had the best mattresses and you plebs with your rectangular beds have been missing out on them.

by Anonymous 3 years ago

Nah, memory foam is a great option. You can cut it perfectly to size, and I remembers me and says „Hi, Matt" when I come home from a long night of blood sucking. Great improvement after 283 years of straw.

by Anonymous 3 years ago