The attitude of "we had it tough therefore so should you" is more damaging to social progress than any other agenda, amirite?

Whatever happened to 'I don't want my kids to suffer like I did'?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

My parents are horrible with money. I never expected to inherit anything from them. After my divorce, any child support (and SSDI because ex is…uh…not remotely stable) has all gone into a UTMA. That and my ROTH will pay for college. Child will inherit the home. I will not, to the best of my ability leave my child financially destitute in their 20's. I do expect grades to reflect the inheritance, and for my child to have to be able to sustain themselves after college. But I, barring medical conditions of my own, will refuse to set child up to spend 30 years to become financially stable, like my parents did me.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I can't understand this, what are the abbreviations?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

That's what you get from a lot of immigrant parents.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I tell my kid all the time I hope she has it easier than I did, 50+ hrs a week of grueling physical labor made me surface level "successful" ( bought my first house young, had a savings account with money in it, ya know stuff many late teens/early 20s don't get) But it came at a high cost, I never got to be a teen/young adult, simply a slave with a body weathered before its time and nobody should have to do that level of nonsense for basic survival and comfort It NEEDS to be easier, the price of admission is simply too high

by Anonymous 1 year ago

They got bitter because the kids we're not grateful and also because those kids decided that was bs.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

My husband and I raised one son completely opposite of your up bringing. We were kids of the 80s/90s and our parents were checked out, didn't support us emotionally, treated kids like free labor or just an annoyance! We made sure our son had a safe space at home, we respected his boundaries, we talk openly about mental health. I often wonder about people in their 60s and older. They have so many unresolved issues. Many tend to want to see others suffer.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Yep. We're all connected, and we should celebrate improvements in the health of people we may not even know, because it means we will be healthier too when we are in their situation.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

While true on one side of the coin, the flip side is that you grow on many levels when things are hard.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

There is some value in struggling, but it shouldn't be needless.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Struggle should not be made intentionally. There is value but if it was caused because someone was bitter it halts progress.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

The people who say "we had it tough and so should you" usually didn't have it very tough at all.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

They usually just had it tough mentally.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

not really people who say such shortsighted and straight up idiotic things only suffered under there own lack of brain matter

by Anonymous 1 year ago

The way I see it is if the next guy in line has an easier time than I did, then I must be doing something damn right.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Older generations say they had it worse. Younger people have it better. Thats a good thing. It's called progress. My father grew up in a trailer in TN and was determined to do better than his father.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

That's not necessarily true. A lot of people have harder lives now and vice versa.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Harder than they should by expectation. But better when comparing to a century ago maybe not a decade or two.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I want to leave the world a better place than I left it has also vanished. Now it's all just about hoarding properties and hating on young people.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

What a world although not just young people but everyone.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

The other day I was speaking to a woman who bought land in my state (she's an out of stater) and has done nothing with it for 30 years. Just letting it sit there while locals struggle to find land and housing! She bought it just because she could. Literally holding on to it until she dies. Then her kids will inherit it.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

It's like my coworker bitching about the concept of student loan forgiveness and free college. Like dude, yea it sucks you already paid yours off, but why can you not be happy for those people getting help and the future generations that wouldn't be hamstringed by unnecessary debt?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Because that isn't what we are taught. Observe a full year of your life and think have you ever wished harm to someone indirectly. Like your co-worker.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

It's just boomer envy, isn't it? "Kids these days have it so easy, why, back in my day " and then brings up a bunch of trauma they had to go through that they can't quite bring themselves to be happy for other people not to have experienced.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

My parents exactly.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

If it isn't ever dealt with this is the result regardless of age or life situation.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Boomers talking to millenials be like: we had it tough well actually we did not but you should

by Anonymous 1 year ago

This is only an unpopular opinion to older folks. Any baby boomers complaining about the changes younger generations are pushing for should just be grateful for the leg up they had! They came of age at the best possible time and had advantages the rest of us never will.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

See I disagree. I work with plenty of people in their mid 30s who have this opinion toward our juniors.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Ah, that I can see somewhat. Mid-30s are the people who graduated into the 2008 recession and got screwed. I'm a younger millennial (class of 2016) so I missed that experience, but I have friends who are that age and we sometimes have different opinions. But more when it comes to financial issues (like student loan forgiveness) and less so social issues (parental leave etc).

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Aren't class of 2016 Gen z though?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I was born in ‘94, last birth year of the millennials was ‘96 according to most sources.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

That would be gen alpha. People born in 2016 I mean. Gen z are people born all the way to early 2010s.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I don't think this has anything to do with any specific generation, it has more to do with people who used to be working class and feel like it's unfair that other people have it "easier" while they didn't have that opportunity themselves.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Isn't this just the same attitude from the other direction though?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

This and equality without equal accountability

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Well I mean yeah I guess because it's literally not progress lol

by Anonymous 1 year ago

"we had it tough therefore so should you" I dont think anyone on the planet has ever stated this....What I see often is someone sharing the lessons they learned doing it differently with someone who usually feels it should be way easier for them to do----then complains when they do it differently expecting same results and claim its 'broken' now. Never seen anyone want it to be hard just because---more explaining its hard because its of value and there is necessary effort for the reward.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

That isn't what they're saying. The real attitude is "We had it tough, so you can overcome the adversity that you're dealing with too." You're confusing selfishness for promoting tenacity.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

The military in a nut shell

by Anonymous 1 year ago

For a lot of the Boomers and Xers… they didn't really have it all that tough as young adults, their parents were just assholes.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Not unpopular opinion

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I agree, however, and a big however, you cannot turn into a cry baby victim and assassin and assume responsibility

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I just paid off my student loans. If they announced loan forgiveness in my country tomorrow I'd be annoyed (could have bought something else). But ultimately I'd be happy because that means we're progressing.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Lots of people are *really* petty and spiteful.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

The problem is when people say what OP did but in reality, what they mean is that they don't want to have to work for something and just want it given to them.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Anyone with this attitude should turn down all medication that was invented during their lifetime.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Emergency numbers should be illegal, because it is unfair to the ones who died without help.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I believe my folks wanted to better than their parents… by being worse than them

by Anonymous 1 year ago

This is a two way street. You should not wish hardships on other because you experienced it. That is not the point of human evolvement. You also should not diminish the older generation for what they did. Yes people have become more soft when compared to 50 years ago. If they say that, it does not make them ‘boomer assholes'

by Anonymous 1 year ago

If we consistently applied that attitude most people would still be living in shacks raising no less than 6 kids.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

You're right that it doesn't make a distinction between necessary and unnecessary adversity, but on the whole it's not a terrible sentiment. Kids and young adults are stronger for having overcome adversity.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

There are situations where the sentiment is nonsense, but there are also situations qhere the sentiment is perfeclty valid

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I make solid income as an entrepreneur but I work 60-80 hours a week, every week. I hope to be able to set my children up for success better than my parents did but only if they're willing to work for it. If they are lazy or don't take the financial advice we give them, they can live paycheck to paycheck well into their 30s like I did.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

You're preaching to the choir OP

by Anonymous 1 year ago