demanding or asking for apologies is 100% useless, amirite?

Forced apologies are typically just used to instil habits in children to build better character but outside of that, I could understand.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I think that more just instills in them silent resentment and disingenuity. Someone else here mentioned as a child they were taught, if they do not feel genuine regret, instead of lying to politely explain why they do not think they are wrong, listen to the other person's perspective, try to understand and see if it changes their mind. I think that is the way. I do not think teaching them to lie instills better character.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

fair, but i think it is important for young children at least, to get them to say sorry when they do something wrong. Not to pressure them, but just say once 'say sorry'. Especially in infants, this will help them understand what saying sorry actually means and when to use it. other than that, you're completely right

by Anonymous 2 years ago

The inverse is that an apology costs nothing so you'd have to be incredibly stupid not to offer one immediately in order to resolve a dispute with another stupid person.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Incorrect. Apologies cost you reputation and credibility. If you are in the right, you should not apologize, and even then, you should find another way to move on. Apologizing should almost never happen, because then the stupid person grows in unearned confidence.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

This unironically. But also, a harsh sincere relationship > a disingenuous 'pleasant' one. Imagine if Everyone apologised whenever put in any sort of social conflict situation just to calm the waters. The result would be pretty ugly, imagine the things that would inevitably enable.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Stubborn vs stubborn never ends well.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Yeah it is really. I had a boss who said they would fire me if I didn't apologize (for something I actually did not do) and he seemed to regret it when I never went back there because he repeatedly called my mother (I am a full grown middle aged adult) begging for HER to ask me to go back to the job and then eventually he started begging her to go work for him. Kinda funny how forcing something often does not work out well.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Haha nice

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I never understood as a child why my parents would force me to apologize to my siblings. Not only was I *not* sorry, but now I was *extra* pissed.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

You need to manipulate people into apologizing on their own, there's no power in asking for it.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Demanding is useless but asking should not be useless. Sometimes an asshole just needs to a bit of help to see that what they did was an asshole move. And sometirmes normal people who just make mistakes also need to be reminded that what they did was an asshole move. Pobodys nerfect

by Anonymous 2 years ago

It's NERFect or nothing!

by Anonymous 2 years ago

If an asshole is actually helped to see where they did wrong. They probably wouldn't have to be coerced into apologizing. Just saying the line doesn't really help anyone see anything besides how to pacify sources of pressure. As far as normal people. That would probably be better accomplished by discussion. By an opportunity for the affected party to express their pov in a way the offender might relate to. Not by just pressuring someone to say the line.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Not an unpopular opinion. Just speaking truths. A solicited apology is not an apology.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I agree but it still feels good. We should ask for an unconditional apology.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Can be used to set boundaries.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Boundaries can be set and enforced without coercing someone into lying about their true feelings&colours / some disingenuous display. A harsh, sincere relationship > a "pleasant" fake one.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Agreed I think it's a sign of immaturity to demand an apology from an adult

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I'm sorry.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I was taught as a child that I should only apologize if I regret what I did because otherwise, it's a lie. If I don't regret what I did, I should instead explain why I don't regret it and then try to understand the other person's perspective to see if it changes my opinion. I think this is a reasonable standard.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

That is the way

by Anonymous 2 years ago

This is very based.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Congrats,do you want a 🍪?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Why? You got some cookies or something?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

*PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN,* ***NAOW!!***

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I love you for this. I say this all the time. He's in my house eating my cookies!

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Oi, no homo, brother. XD

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Okay, bring me 100 cookies. :) You offered, after all.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Lmao. Found the mf who forces apologies if I get U right

by Anonymous 2 years ago

yeah i agree, but i think that a lot of people do this not because they want to forgive someone, but because its a power trip for them. also, its different to confront someone and say they hurt you and they need to apologize, versus confronting someone and saying they hurt you.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I might enjoy forcing that person to humiliate himself. He will see that way.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

It is to humble the arrogant person that felt they could treat you badly and not have to apologize for their actions.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Wait... do you seriously think people who demand apologies think it'll make the other person better? Wrong, wrong, wrong. That's not what they're doing at all. It's a power play, and it's meant to humiliate, not educate. Obvious exception for parents who are trying to teach their children how to behave. This only applies to adult-adult interactions.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Honestly I'd rather turkey slap a cactus than be forced to say an apology I don't mean. It's just not gonna happen lmao. I see what ur saying tho

by Anonymous 2 years ago

No yeah I agree don't waste your time on that get your revenge

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Haha. In Some situations: 100%

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Don't demand apologies. Demand compensation. At least if the person isn't sincere, you still get something out of it.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

My way of apologizing is ensuring that whatever I've said and whatever I've done, won't happen again.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Admirable when justified. Actions speak louder than words. I'm talking more when the individual truly does not believe they have done wrong and are being goaded into saying the line though.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

In my family we never verbalize apologies, we express them through our actions without a word needing to be said. Forced verbal apologies are almost never sincere. Like when celebrities say sorry after getting backlash, but you know they're just following a script. It's meaningless. It's like you said, someone who is sorry will show you they are, and they don't always need to say it. They may need help in realizing they're wrong but the remorse needs to come from the heart.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I had an abusive ex who would demand apologies for things I should never have been sorry for, or else he would hurt me in some way. That's the only person who has ever demanded an apology from me.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I mean yeah. You got a point

by Anonymous 2 years ago