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women that expect the man to pay for everything on dates don't actually want love, amirite?

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KilljoyXs avatar Relationships
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The voters have decided that KilljoyX is right! Vote on the post to say if you agree or disagree.

I think whoever asks should pay. But Always, always bring your own money.

First date should be a coffee or a gelato, anyway.

If you can't afford to pay for that cheap without making a big fuss about it, what does it tell your potential date about you? Just pay.

Lordpewpews avatar Lordpewpew Yeah You Are +6Reply

I don't think someone should expect to get paid for on every date but I do think sometimes (although you should always be prepared to pay for yourself if need be) it is fair to expect you will be paid for depending on the circumstances of the date.

For example if the date is a surprise date then since you couldn't suggest ‘hey let's go somewhere cheaper' it should be paid for. Equally if you're the one paying a lot more for transport to see the person your dating then them buying you coffee in your coffee date makes sense.

Also imo you should never insist on paying 50/50 it should be pay for what you got.

Technasiss avatar Technasis Yeah You Are +5Reply

My old roommate would go on dates and label them as free meal on her phone.

If person "A" invites person "B" to go somewhere/do something, person "A" picks up the tab, regardless.

Don't want to pay? Don't invite. Seems pretty straightforward.

Thatoneduderyans avatar Thatoneduderyan Yeah You Are +5Reply

I'm honestly sick and tired of this argument...do you know how to settle this for good...whoever asked to go on the first date should pay, otherwise it's basically saying "would you like to pay money to hang out with me and get to know me" and then afterwards if you are a mature, responsible ADULT, you settle the issue before dinner for following dates, if you don't like the answer, don't go on the date.

Milkzeys avatar Milkzey Yeah You Are +5Reply
@Milkzey I'm honestly sick and tired of this argument...do you know how to settle this for good...whoever asked to go on the...

You're ignoring the fact that it's expected for the man to be asking the woman out. Even in places where it's normal to pay for your own food it's still expected for the man to do the asking out.

I feel like those are two different concepts? Dates are meant for people to get to know each other (and go somewhere nice in the process). Many of them won't lead to love, let alone life partners, that's fine. Some women like, scratch that, deserve things to be gifted to them, the more the better. Doesn't mean they won't find love along the way, maybe even change for the better. If it doesn't work out though - they've aquired some material affection along the way, win win. Basically - a toxic person can fall in love and maybe become a little less toxic. Maybe.

JohnW305s avatar JohnW305 Yeah You Are +5Reply

I would think it's a red flag if he didn't want to pay for a first date, beyond that, agree

Openeyess avatar Openeyes Yeah You Are +5Reply
@Openeyes I would think it's a red flag if he didn't want to pay for a first date, beyond that, agree

See this is what I don't like re: men being expected to pay.

1) women just go out assuming he's gonna cover it.
2) Restaurants are not free, this entitlement sense is a turn off. women should be willing to go 50/50.
3) there can be no chemistry on either party part or date can go awful it's not fair he should automatically foot bill.

KilljoyXs avatar KilljoyX Yeah You Are +4Reply
@KilljoyX See this is what I don't like re: men being expected to pay. 1) women just go out assuming he's gonna cover it...

I don't think it's entitlement if you, the guy, quite literally are the person who asked and is probably most likely the one going to plan the date. If you can't afford to pay for the date, then why would you plan to go?

This isn't even just targeted at men, the person who asked and is planning it should be the one paying for it .

Tanmoykayesens avatar Tanmoykayesen Yeah You Are +6Reply
@KilljoyX See this is what I don't like re: men being expected to pay. 1) women just go out assuming he's gonna cover it...

So ask her out for coffee or something less expensive. You asked her, you probably picked the place, you should pay. Just my opinion.

Bf3247s avatar Bf3247 Yeah You Are 0Reply
@Openeyes I would think it's a red flag if he didn't want to pay for a first date, beyond that, agree

Things like this where you can literally flip a word in the sentence and completely destroy the entire point are dumb imo

"I would think it's a red flag if she didn't want to pay for a first date"

What makes the man the one that needs to prove himself lmfao?

JoshByer2s avatar JoshByer2 Yeah You Are +3Reply
@Openeyes I would think it's a red flag if he didn't want to pay for a first date, beyond that, agree

Would you consider it a red flag if he always wanted to pay for everything?

@bigdaddy69-4life Would you consider it a red flag if he always wanted to pay for everything?

Yeah there should be a natural reciprocity and it not be a huge deal one person gets it one time, next time the other person.. people who want to split and get separate checks just seem weird to me though

And this is why you only do coffee or a drink on 1st dates grass hopper.

Tanmoykayesens avatar Tanmoykayesen Yeah You Are +3Reply

I don't mind if she's unemployed. If she earns more money than I do, she can definitely pay for her own stuff.

I think it is wrong for a woman to go on a date and expect that the man pay for everything. Always bring your own money.

However, if the lady is the one being courted and the date is going well I think the man should not allow the lady to pay. It would be polite of her to offer but the man should not allow it.

He is the one courting her, impressing her and displaying that he can take her of her.

This is first date only though.

Going forward the woman should offer to pay for second date or contribute in some way, maybe make him a meal or something.

And maybe I am wrong in this thinking... blame my Easter European ways.

jodzdzownicas avatar jodzdzownica Yeah You Are +3Reply

Yes, and no. Some people want a traditional relationship where men pay for the woman and that's fine. A woman shouldn't expect every date she goes on the man will pay, in case the man doesn't share that same opinion, and she may need to pay for herself. However, some men will happily pay for the woman's meals, and that's how the relationship would work. It's just about the people

contextrips avatar contextrip Yeah You Are +2Reply

Whoever asked for the date should pay.

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