Having "stages" of your relationship is ridiculous. amirite?

So you're the "first date in the morning, married in the afternoon, having kids by dinner" type then. Moving a little fast for my tastes, but you do you.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

"We're not ready for the next step yet" is just a simpler way of saying "We're happy where this relationship is right now but we're not ready for a deeper level of commitment". There aren't actually any "steps" it's just an easier way of explaining their relationship. I love my boyfriend and we plan to be together for the rest of our lives but I wouldn't have moved in together after our first date because we weren't ready. I could also say we weren't ready to take that step and it means exactly the same thing

by Anonymous 1 year ago

It's not logical. If you love each other and plan to be together for the rest of your lives then you're ready to marry and move in. If you're not ready to marry and move in then you're not sure that you love each other enough and can be together for the rest of your lives. Everything else is bs.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I'll say like this. I'm happily married but I am not willing to become a parent. So I decided to stay on stage of 2 person family. I'm not ready, and propably never will, to get to next step, whitch is having kids. Nope. Even if you think if I love somebody I should do all what's in the package. I think opposite

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Having children has nothing to do with it. It's not a "step" in a relationship, it's a separate question. Some people never want to have kids. It's a choice.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Have you ever been in a relationship?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Doesn't sound like it.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Everyone has different stages in life when they are either ready to jump in head first or need to take it slow due to whatever past.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Have you ever been in a relationship OP? If you start pulling long-term behaviour in the beginning stages of dating, most people are going to end it or straight up ghost you. It's unhealthy and weird to rush into things. Like you don't just move in together within a week. Some people want time when it comes to even kissing let alone having sex. If someone isn't at a 'stage' it's a personal choice/boundary.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Buttplay and grave plots kinda come later

by Anonymous 1 year ago

someone told you they were not ready yet, eh?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I too was once 12

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Yeah fr

by Anonymous 1 year ago

hmm

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Not allowing people time to adjust (no matter how much time they need) is a huge red flag. Personally, If we were dating and you said this, I would probably think you were trying to trap me. I would start assuming you're abusive, and becoming impatient with me. Not really something I'd be into, so obviously would end our "relationship" earlier than if you had just respected my boundaries and feelings.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Some people need time to get comfortable to the level of other couples. You can hit it off and still want to ease your way into a relationship.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

How would you describe the difference between dating and being married to someone then? You can't pretend a 2 week old relationship has the same "level" of commitment as a 2 year or even 20 year relationship. Differentiation is a thing.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

This is just a bad take.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Tell me you've never been in a relationship without saying you've never been in a relationship.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Sounds like this guys mad cause a girl doesn't wanna f him straight away

by Anonymous 1 year ago

You never got over the honeymoon phase, right?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

So... if two 19 year olds are deeply in love, they should move in together, get married and directly start to have children with each other? Timing is everything. And growing up is realsing that finding someone you love and who loves you back is in fact not everything. Sometimes not even that is enough.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Idk everyone's different. We definitely go through stages, at just about everything. For example, I can clearly separate my life into differe stages categorized by certain realities of that time. Like, when I was in highschool vs college vs fresh grad vs established career, etc.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Rushing into anything is never good. You need time to really get to know someone. If you jump the gun with people, it's only a matter of time till you realize the reality of who they are isn't the fantasized version you created from your feelings. Most relationships statistically end when couples move in together why do you think that is? The hard realization comes that liking some one is simply not enough.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

So you should move in with someone immediately as soon as you start dating?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I feel like there's always a stage in a romantic relationship before it's official, you move in together, you marry, have babies. How long these stages are is for everybody different but maybe OP doesn't like to call these things stages.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Rushing into commitments and lovebombing each other isn't healthy. If it's one-sided, you are probably the victim of a narcissist or fraud.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Sounds like op is the type of person who wants to rush their partner into sex, marriage, or children without any regard to their partner's comfort level. Red flag.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Are you in high school? This reaks of "teenager with no relationship experience"

by Anonymous 1 year ago

This sounds like someone who hasn't had a long term relationship. You're relationship goes through stages even if it starts off amazingly it goes through stages where it gets better and things change. You do have to wait till you feel like it feels right before moving to the next step. If you go from first date to engagement that could go badly.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

And sometimes it doesn't get better as it goes on. Everyone is on their best behavior in the beginning. But eventually you get more comfortable and the mask slips until it's completely off and you're truly yourself. And sometimes your true self isn't tolerable for other people. You want to know that before you make big commitments.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

This is very true. I'm comparing it to my current relationship which is amazing but have had relationships where that happens

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Exactly, me too. As time went on in my last relationship I realized it wasn't good. But in my current one, as time goes on it feels more right and I want to take the next step.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

It's like maturity, at 18 the law says you're a mature person. But most 18 yr olds aren't ready for a serious relationship. Just take it slow and enjoy the early stage.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

So you're upset the person you like doesn't want to sleep with you right off the bat? Seems to be the read I'm getting from your replies. You have a lot of growing to do, sadly doesn't seem like you're willing.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I feel like this has to come from someone who's 14 or has the emotional intelligence of a 14 year old. The whole point of dating is to see if this person is really someone you'd like to spend a lot of time with or even the rest of your life. You can't possibly know that in the first day or perhaps week or month etc of dating. You have to build up to that awareness. You have to get to know them essentially. So saying you're not ready for the next stage is like saying yeah we are comfortable in our current phase of our relationship either because we don't know each other well enough to know if it's a forever thing or we aren't old enough to even have the self awareness to know what we want or we are just enjoying the current flow.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

So you think if two people like each other they should marry right after the first date?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

ITT How to tell me you've never experienced a manipulative dark-triad partner without telling me you've never experienced a manipulative dark-triad partner

by Anonymous 1 year ago

The 5 stages of a relationship, according to Dr . Knapp. Initiation Experimentation Intensification Integration Bonding

by Anonymous 1 year ago

The typical "I would actually agree with the concept but am too ignorant and emotional to come to that conclusion by myself". But, as usual, their issue goes beyond ignorance but personal offense with the language being used, making any progress discussing it useless. So we're left with a petty tantrum in which one person can't accept a perfectly reasonable, unoffensive use of language that's used by over a billion other people...

by Anonymous 1 year ago

What

by Anonymous 1 year ago

tl;dr: they are refusing to understand a simple concept used by billions that they do agree with

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I don't even know how to respond to this I just know op has not been in long term relationships

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Sounds like you have never ever ever being in anykind of relationship with any other living creature. Buster, even friendships has obvious steps that you start noticing in kindergarten and primary school (you may are bad socializing, but you're clever enough to realize relationships can grown like plants do).

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Something tells me you've never dated before but heck that's not really an excuse cause I've never been in a relationship & I know you're FOS

by Anonymous 1 year ago

>I think If two people really like each other they will hit it off right away and become comfortable with each other quickly, because they actually like each other. It takes time to get to know someone properly. Going on a couple dates is nothing. Honestly you don't really truly know someone until you've lived with them for a few months at least, that's my view.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

This has to be bait

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I barely know anyone who when they someone they like, then after a few dates they've moved in together, gotten married and have a kid just cuz they are comfortable with one another.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

We should marry or move in with someone if the first few dates went really well? How long was your longest relationship, a week?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Someone doesn't know what healthy boundaries are!!!

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I texted someone once, we hit it off and got married later that day.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

This is a great exception. Anyways god of the Rizz to you

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Everyone has different stages in life when they are either ready to jump in head first or need to take it slow due to whatever past and present times they are dealing with emotionally. To date someone means you must be sensitive and acknowledge where they are at. To fall in love means knowing and understanding that other persons needs and wants. It's not always about you

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Being told that you need to go through stages before the next step is *also* being told that you arent getting laid. Next time, hear that and maybe things will be clearer.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

The Honeymoon stage is awesome!

by Anonymous 1 year ago

If you think you can actually know who someone really is, love them deeply, and build deep trust that quickly and are willing to risk your time assets and heart without throughly vetting them for a good long while… That sounds really dumb. At best puppy love. Some people can hide who they really are for a decade or two, but most everyone can hide their flaws for at least at few months.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I agree. So I've learned the hard way if they're really questionable that early it won't get better lmao

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Hitting it off right away and becoming comfortable quickly is absolutely no indication that that person is not dangerous. This is such a silly take. It takes time to truly get to know someone and especially in the beginning it's very easy for people to only show their good side. Rushing into things can have very serious consequences. Lots of people fall into abusive relationships for this reason.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Are you ready to open a joint checking account after your first date?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Who hurt you

by Anonymous 1 year ago

that's a long way you've never been in a relationship before 😧

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Probably thinks each stage has them level up and gain more mana too. Who sets the stages? How big is the board? Is there a boss fight at the end? Dating IS an experiment from just a friend, to liking, to loving and to (hopefully) finally marry. Maybe they're stuck at the tutorial and don't want to invest all their time, money, sanity, etc. OP thinks love will conquer all because they just "like" each other which is just the honey moon phase. Once you want to take the next "step" for deeper commitment, life will hit you in the face. They might be nice to you but rude to people especially when you go out and you might not like that. Maybe they hate your friends and family but you actually like him/her. Do you just wipe and start over? Or do you keep playing this game even without support?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Would you call a best friend any stranger that comes over to your house? If not, why do you think building a love relationship is any different than building friendships?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Looks like someone needs to brush up on consent just to be safe

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Semantics. You are right that relationships don't move in steps, but are more like a boat in a stream which may or may not have some common milestones that you pass along the way, but it's not exactly measured steps. It also that milestones are different for different couples, (sex first, then meet the parents, or parents first? Get married then have kids? Have kids, then meet the parents?)

by Anonymous 1 year ago

wheres the opinion?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

POV: OP has never been in a serious relationship.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I agree with this.

by Anonymous 1 year ago