+140 Your smart watch knows when you masturbate, amirite?

by Anonymous 9 months ago

​ Might I recommend an automatic watch instead? You can handy manny without feeling like you're being spied on AND the kinetic energy powers your watch. It's how your grandpappies fapped back when they were lil' shavers wearing Bulovas.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

i think I'd rather just take my watch off lol

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I'd rather my watch joined in, maybe a little ambient "ooooh yeah" or "oooh baby" And for the bdsm inclined folks maybe "faster you meat puppet" It should have some choices for everyone.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

False. I wear it on my left hand and use my right. Unless of course it is video recording the whole time. I'll have to ask my FBI agent next time he swings by.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Your agent swings by?? Mine just sends me threatening messages

by Anonymous 9 months ago

It'll use heart rate to tell, not watch movement. I remember a story of a teenager in hospital being hooked up to a heart monitor and it set off all kinds of alarms at the nurses desk. They rushed to him and found him in "le petite mort".

by Anonymous 9 months ago

hey ask him if he knows MY fbi agent, they might be friends

by Anonymous 9 months ago

They're all in bed with eachother, haha!

by Anonymous 9 months ago

It can still get your heart rate on your left.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Of course it does. Gotta start a workout for it to close those rings!

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Can we combine that data with AI to generate personalized porn? Asking for a friend

by Anonymous 9 months ago

It always tells me afterwards, how good of a sports session it was :D

by Anonymous 9 months ago

And/or - Your smart watch⌚watches while you do it to yourself 🫴⬅️⬅️⬅️👀⌚ 🧠=💥🤯

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I feel like I was doing it all wrong

by Anonymous 9 months ago

🙃If you haven't received any complaints from yourself🫵then you're doing A ok👍

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Maybe Apple Watch or Fitbit, Yk how they can't track your heartbeat and what not

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Mine just congratulates me on going above and beyond. It's nice to have encouragement for a change.

by Anonymous 9 months ago