Your smart watch knows when you masturbate, amirite?

 Might I recommend an automatic watch instead? You can handy manny without feeling like you're being spied on AND the kinetic energy powers your watch. It's how your grandpappies fapped back when they were lil' shavers wearing Bulovas.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

i think I'd rather just take my watch off lol

by Anonymous 11 months ago

I'd rather my watch joined in, maybe a little ambient "ooooh yeah" or "oooh baby" And for the bdsm inclined folks maybe "faster you meat puppet" It should have some choices for everyone.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

False. I wear it on my left hand and use my right. Unless of course it is video recording the whole time. I'll have to ask my FBI agent next time he swings by.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

Your agent swings by?? Mine just sends me threatening messages

by Anonymous 11 months ago

It'll use heart rate to tell, not watch movement. I remember a story of a teenager in hospital being hooked up to a heart monitor and it set off all kinds of alarms at the nurses desk. They rushed to him and found him in "le petite mort".

by Anonymous 11 months ago

hey ask him if he knows MY fbi agent, they might be friends

by Anonymous 11 months ago

They're all in bed with eachother, haha!

by Anonymous 11 months ago

It can still get your heart rate on your left.

by Anonymous 11 months ago

Of course it does. Gotta start a workout for it to close those rings!

by Anonymous 11 months ago

Can we combine that data with AI to generate personalized porn? Asking for a friend

by Anonymous 11 months ago

It always tells me afterwards, how good of a sports session it was :D

by Anonymous 11 months ago

And/or - Your smart watch⌚watches while you do it to yourself 🫴⬅️⬅️⬅️👀⌚ 🧠=💥🤯

by Anonymous 11 months ago

I feel like I was doing it all wrong

by Anonymous 11 months ago

🙃If you haven't received any complaints from yourself🫵then you're doing A ok👍

by Anonymous 11 months ago

Maybe Apple Watch or Fitbit, Yk how they can't track your heartbeat and what not

by Anonymous 11 months ago

Mine just congratulates me on going above and beyond. It's nice to have encouragement for a change.

by Anonymous 11 months ago