+142 We are all walking reminders that our parents did it at least once, amirite?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I have a friend who has three siblings who has said that they're pretty sure their parents did it precisely four times.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Remember, kids. You wouldn't be here without your dad's O-face.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I'm going to try and not remember that tyvm

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Even worse, your existance is only possible because your grandma had a nut busted in her.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Well I guess it's been a while since I've seen my therapist anyways….

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Yeah she did ;)

by Anonymous 2 years ago

why

by Anonymous 2 years ago

In a word, chaos.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I mean, I used bust nuts inside Grandmas too!

by Anonymous 2 years ago

You're a menace

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Vinegar strokes !

by Anonymous 2 years ago

My mind is replacing the o-face with the Pogchamp emote and it's a mental defense mechanism

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Yep. Washing my eyes out with bleach now. Thanks.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

No! I don't want to think about my dad's vinegar strokes!

by Anonymous 2 years ago

There is the possibility a syringe was used. Or of the assistance of unknown parties.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

What about sperm donor babies? That only proves that your biological father jacked off

by Anonymous 2 years ago

even better there are some conditions where a guy cant ejaculate, so they do a sperm extraction procedure, where they take sperm right from your balls so there is a possibility of someone having parents who never had sex nor masturbated in their life

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Straight from the source

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Parthenogenesis, maybe, although its not yet proven in humans.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Reminds me of a scene from the movie "A Boy and His Dog".

by Anonymous 2 years ago

As a donor baby who has digitally met over 60 half-siblings, we joke that the bio-dad who donated in college wrote his thesis with one hand and paid for it with the other.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Soooo you mean it‘s possible for a virgin to get pregnant? Neat.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Just ask Joseph

by Anonymous 2 years ago

at least once.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Something else to think about is what day you were conceived For example, roughly 9 months before my birthday is my parents' anniversary

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Lmao My brother is Christmas

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Mine is Valentine's day. Scorpio gang.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Welp you just made me realize I could have been Valentine's Day too…Sag/Scorpio cusp baby

by Anonymous 2 years ago

it's funny cause I have a little sister that was born 3 years after me and our bdays are one day apart. So I feel like Valentine's was almost the only time my old man was getting lucky haha

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I was April fools so that checks out

by Anonymous 2 years ago

My oldest brother was birthday sex for my mom…The rest seem pretty random

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Same

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I was conceived sometime in September. Wtf is so special about September???😅

by Anonymous 2 years ago

School starts back if you have older siblings, Labor Day is in September as well

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I was conceived sometime in October then 👻

by Anonymous 2 years ago

When one of my kids was about 10, he figured out for his siblings the dates they were conceived. Not really a cool move.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Look, you have lots of opportunities to make fun of them for something they did when they were younger. It's only right that they get the chance to do that to you too. Also, let me guess. Most of them are born in November?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Nope, none. My wife is a teacher so we planned for the leave to butt up against summer vacation to double it.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Did it work?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

valentines?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Have a friend who as a Dad sends his kid a *Happy Conception Day!* note every year. Weird, but also way funny.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

My brother was known as "birthday sex" for a while.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Did he just read the dates off the video tapes?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I mean me and my siblings were born eerily 9 months after a few holidays...we joke about it.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I can't recall which comedian said this but they referred to having children as "one of your orgasms now has a face".

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I call my kids "sex trophies".

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Crotch fruit.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Raisin cream pies

by Anonymous 2 years ago

This is amazing.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I think so, too, but my wife doesn't appreciate it very much.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

One of my former coworkers liked to remind us we were all just creampies… and some of us maybe have dripped out of the butt and are unwanted anal creampies

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Nope, I'm adopted. As far as I'm concerned Anne and Jim are just really good friends.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Fun fact: our older son was born eight months after we got married. But we didn't meet him until he was five.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I'd love to see people's faces when they do the math but don't know he's adopted 😂

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Well, him having two dads is usually their first clue. Although remarkably enough he *looks* like the two of us mixed. His Dad's hair and height, his Pop's eyes and skin color. His younger brother definitely takes after Dad, though.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

and the real kicker is that who we believe to be our parents may not actually be 100% accurate.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

France once implemented a law that paternity tests were illegal, because they feared society would be destabilized if lots of men took those tests. In other words, there's a whole bunch of men out there who don't realize they're not the biological father of their children.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

thats just messed up

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Of course it was France.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

And we have two sets of grandparents that each did it at least once. And four sets of great grandparents, and eight of the great great. It's almost like ever person on earth is the result of exponential amore.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Not exactly. I have a mate whose parents are cousins, so he only has 3 sets of great grandparents. And then you get to the royal families of Europe, or the inbred rural American folk and the numbers really shrink.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

My parents did at five times three times for the matching set of sons and twice when I walked in on them and wished I was blind.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

How he hell do you walk in on them a second time?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Different houses different rooms same horny parents. He had just got home from Korea. We had just moved into a three bedroom house and the tv died. I went and walked in to see if dad could fix it again (he was a a radar repair man for the US Air Force). He was at it and I turned and told my brother to go to bed, dad will fix it tomorrow. I washed my eyes and girded myself for breakfast. My parents were great and we just laughed it off. As I age I actually feel glad my parents loved each other all their lives. They always put my bedroom next to their's for some reason.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

And then parents get mad when their kid wants to have sex like it's some kind of voodoo witch taboo

by Anonymous 2 years ago

This is how we get so many pregnant single teens. You don't tell kids sex is a part of life, that everybody does it, and that it is normal to do it. You use protection against babies because humans are \*REALLY\* reliable at making babies with 8 billion currently alive. Sex-Ed reduces unwanted pregnancy rates! Condoms are cheaper than the cost of a birth! We need to get rid of the religious nuts who want to deny human nature while being hypocrites and doing the same things themselves.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

My friend's parents talked about how they'd been trying to have kids for years and then "their little miracle" came along. We were teenagers at the time and having your friend's parents tell you "we were rawdogging for years" was hilarious to us and mortifying for him

by Anonymous 2 years ago

When people ask when you are going to have kids, they are asking if you are going g to random your wife soon

by Anonymous 2 years ago

My daughter is an IVF baby. She gets the gift of plausible deniability.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

If anything IVF parents probably did it more. Fertile couples may have gotten pregnant on their first horizontal tango whereas no one takes the IVF path without trying the regular option for many months or even years.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Not necessarily. Artificial insemination. Test tube babies

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Technically incorrect due to sperm donors and surrogate mothers.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I'm a very dark skinned ginger with one blue eye and one green eye. Pretty sure there was an orgy the night I was conceived.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Eye heterochromia looks so cool tho, worth it being the offspring of the entire circus, elephant included.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Im a result of sperm donation so by that logic I dont have proof. That said I know they had been trying for years before they found out my dad's sperm was sterile and they turned to donation. So if anything I know they did it quite regularily.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

And your parents are reminders your grandparents did it at least once and so on. Also side note: the human reproductive system is a beautiful thing, it's how life is created. The fact that it feels really good is honestly a blessing. I could imagine our population would be way lower if sex was painful or harmed us like some animals.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I'm gonna say like Jerry Seinfeld: finding out that you're adopted is a good thing since then there is at least the possibility that your parents haven't done it

by Anonymous 2 years ago

My 3 kids are all ivf. Technically I didn't have sex to concieve any of them. I'm therefore totally innocent and virginal and don't remind my kids of this at all. I do remind two of my kids that I still have the receipt for the ivf and if they keep giving me attitude then I'm returning them to the fertility clinic as faulty goods...

by Anonymous 2 years ago

A relatively common side effect of being a cystic fibrosis carrier (it requires two recessive genes to give you the terminal disease) is that your vas deferens just never develop. You have sperm, but no delivery system if you get my drift. You wont have any idea you have this problem, because everything works and looks normal, you just are shooting blanks. You generally work it out when you fail to get your wife knocked up for a year. I have this issue, and to have children they had to go in and cut a small piece out of one of my testicles and freeze it, and then take the tiny immature sperms and shove them into eggs in a petri dish. Then they wait for them to grow into little tiny blastocysts, and then they implant them and hope for the best. My wife and I spent 100 grand on this to have two kids. The recovery was painful but not terribly so. A couple days of whining and then i was back to it. It was not cheap, but i have two perfectly normal kids. (and ok fine i have boinked the missus many many times, but technically i didnt have to)

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Tell that to the kids whose father is the infamous serial sperm bank donor.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Yeah and to all the September babies like myself you are probably the product of a cold and drunk Christmas night.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Ever hear your parents doing it? Mine sound like chewbacca mauling a hyena.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I remember a classmate explaining the sexual act to me on the playground when I was in the third grade. "Eeeeew, **no way** my parents did that!!"

by Anonymous 2 years ago

what type of relationship doesnt at least do it once a week? Do people feel odd about this?

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Well there isn't any other way you'd be able to tell they know each other

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I once saw a TikTok from a dad who was waiting outside a school to pick up their 'f\*\*k trophies'.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

people on the internet really love to think about their parents having sex

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Apart from OP. Only OP's mum did it at least once. And the milkman.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Even after 20 plus years of divorce my parents still had chemistry. I am quite sure they were like bunnies for their 3 1/2 years of marriage.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Really difficult to understand when they absolutely loathe each other

by Anonymous 2 years ago

think about the time it takes to make a baby , and think about the month it would have happened... You probably got conceived on your Dads birthday or fathers day.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I was child six of seven. My parents dearly loved each other.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I have 4 siblings, and my mom had a miscarriage. So in my case it is at least 6 times.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Mine did it at least 4 times that I know of. I have 2 siblings and my mom miscarried once.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

I used to have a running joke with my college friends that I don't get laid very often (I was just really private about my personal life). I continued the joke after I got married, and after my daughter was born, the joke changed from never having sex to "well, I had sex at least once"

by Anonymous 2 years ago

Not necessarily. In fact, may not be true for about 1-2% of us! IVF is fairly common now days. I can say with confidence that based on what I know of my background, my biological mother and biological father never had sex.

by Anonymous 2 years ago

do people normally know for sure they were not adopted coz I don't

by Anonymous 2 years ago