+142 We are all walking reminders that our parents did it at least once, amirite?

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I have a friend who has three siblings who has said that they're pretty sure their parents did it precisely four times.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Remember, kids. You wouldn't be here without your dad's O-face.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I'm going to try and not remember that tyvm

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Even worse, your existance is only possible because your grandma had a nut busted in her.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Well I guess it's been a while since I've seen my therapist anyways….

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Yeah she did ;)

by Anonymous 9 months ago

why

by Anonymous 9 months ago

In a word, chaos.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I mean, I used bust nuts inside Grandmas too!

by Anonymous 9 months ago

You're a menace

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Vinegar strokes !

by Anonymous 9 months ago

My mind is replacing the o-face with the Pogchamp emote and it's a mental defense mechanism

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Yep. Washing my eyes out with bleach now. Thanks.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

No! I don't want to think about my dad's vinegar strokes!

by Anonymous 9 months ago

There is the possibility a syringe was used. Or of the assistance of unknown parties.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

What about sperm donor babies? That only proves that your biological father jacked off

by Anonymous 9 months ago

even better there are some conditions where a guy cant ejaculate, so they do a sperm extraction procedure, where they take sperm right from your balls so there is a possibility of someone having parents who never had sex nor masturbated in their life

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Straight from the source

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Parthenogenesis, maybe, although its not yet proven in humans.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Reminds me of a scene from the movie "A Boy and His Dog".

by Anonymous 9 months ago

As a donor baby who has digitally met over 60 half-siblings, we joke that the bio-dad who donated in college wrote his thesis with one hand and paid for it with the other.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Soooo you mean it‘s possible for a virgin to get pregnant? Neat.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Just ask Joseph

by Anonymous 9 months ago

at least once.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Something else to think about is what day you were conceived For example, roughly 9 months before my birthday is my parents' anniversary

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Lmao My brother is Christmas

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Mine is Valentine's day. Scorpio gang.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Welp you just made me realize I could have been Valentine's Day too…Sag/Scorpio cusp baby

by Anonymous 9 months ago

it's funny cause I have a little sister that was born 3 years after me and our bdays are one day apart. So I feel like Valentine's was almost the only time my old man was getting lucky haha

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I was April fools so that checks out

by Anonymous 9 months ago

My oldest brother was birthday sex for my mom…The rest seem pretty random

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Same

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I was conceived sometime in September. Wtf is so special about September???😅

by Anonymous 9 months ago

School starts back if you have older siblings, Labor Day is in September as well

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I was conceived sometime in October then 👻

by Anonymous 9 months ago

When one of my kids was about 10, he figured out for his siblings the dates they were conceived. Not really a cool move.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Look, you have lots of opportunities to make fun of them for something they did when they were younger. It's only right that they get the chance to do that to you too. Also, let me guess. Most of them are born in November?

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Nope, none. My wife is a teacher so we planned for the leave to butt up against summer vacation to double it.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Did it work?

by Anonymous 9 months ago

valentines?

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Have a friend who as a Dad sends his kid a *Happy Conception Day!* note every year. Weird, but also way funny.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

My brother was known as "birthday sex" for a while.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Did he just read the dates off the video tapes?

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I mean me and my siblings were born eerily 9 months after a few holidays...we joke about it.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I can't recall which comedian said this but they referred to having children as "one of your orgasms now has a face".

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I call my kids "sex trophies".

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Crotch fruit.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Raisin cream pies

by Anonymous 9 months ago

This is amazing.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I think so, too, but my wife doesn't appreciate it very much.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

One of my former coworkers liked to remind us we were all just creampies… and some of us maybe have dripped out of the butt and are unwanted anal creampies

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Nope, I'm adopted. As far as I'm concerned Anne and Jim are just really good friends.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Fun fact: our older son was born eight months after we got married. But we didn't meet him until he was five.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I'd love to see people's faces when they do the math but don't know he's adopted 😂

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Well, him having two dads is usually their first clue. Although remarkably enough he *looks* like the two of us mixed. His Dad's hair and height, his Pop's eyes and skin color. His younger brother definitely takes after Dad, though.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

and the real kicker is that who we believe to be our parents may not actually be 100% accurate.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

France once implemented a law that paternity tests were illegal, because they feared society would be destabilized if lots of men took those tests. In other words, there's a whole bunch of men out there who don't realize they're not the biological father of their children.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

thats just messed up

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Of course it was France.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

And we have two sets of grandparents that each did it at least once. And four sets of great grandparents, and eight of the great great. It's almost like ever person on earth is the result of exponential amore.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Not exactly. I have a mate whose parents are cousins, so he only has 3 sets of great grandparents. And then you get to the royal families of Europe, or the inbred rural American folk and the numbers really shrink.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

My parents did at five times three times for the matching set of sons and twice when I walked in on them and wished I was blind.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

How he hell do you walk in on them a second time?

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Different houses different rooms same horny parents. He had just got home from Korea. We had just moved into a three bedroom house and the tv died. I went and walked in to see if dad could fix it again (he was a a radar repair man for the US Air Force). He was at it and I turned and told my brother to go to bed, dad will fix it tomorrow. I washed my eyes and girded myself for breakfast. My parents were great and we just laughed it off. As I age I actually feel glad my parents loved each other all their lives. They always put my bedroom next to their's for some reason.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

And then parents get mad when their kid wants to have sex like it's some kind of voodoo witch taboo

by Anonymous 9 months ago

This is how we get so many pregnant single teens. You don't tell kids sex is a part of life, that everybody does it, and that it is normal to do it. You use protection against babies because humans are \*REALLY\* reliable at making babies with 8 billion currently alive. Sex-Ed reduces unwanted pregnancy rates! Condoms are cheaper than the cost of a birth! We need to get rid of the religious nuts who want to deny human nature while being hypocrites and doing the same things themselves.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

My friend's parents talked about how they'd been trying to have kids for years and then "their little miracle" came along. We were teenagers at the time and having your friend's parents tell you "we were rawdogging for years" was hilarious to us and mortifying for him

by Anonymous 9 months ago

When people ask when you are going to have kids, they are asking if you are going g to random your wife soon

by Anonymous 9 months ago

My daughter is an IVF baby. She gets the gift of plausible deniability.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

If anything IVF parents probably did it more. Fertile couples may have gotten pregnant on their first horizontal tango whereas no one takes the IVF path without trying the regular option for many months or even years.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Not necessarily. Artificial insemination. Test tube babies

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Technically incorrect due to sperm donors and surrogate mothers.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I'm a very dark skinned ginger with one blue eye and one green eye. Pretty sure there was an orgy the night I was conceived.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Eye heterochromia looks so cool tho, worth it being the offspring of the entire circus, elephant included.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Im a result of sperm donation so by that logic I dont have proof. That said I know they had been trying for years before they found out my dad's sperm was sterile and they turned to donation. So if anything I know they did it quite regularily.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

And your parents are reminders your grandparents did it at least once and so on. Also side note: the human reproductive system is a beautiful thing, it's how life is created. The fact that it feels really good is honestly a blessing. I could imagine our population would be way lower if sex was painful or harmed us like some animals.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I'm gonna say like Jerry Seinfeld: finding out that you're adopted is a good thing since then there is at least the possibility that your parents haven't done it

by Anonymous 9 months ago

My 3 kids are all ivf. Technically I didn't have sex to concieve any of them. I'm therefore totally innocent and virginal and don't remind my kids of this at all. I do remind two of my kids that I still have the receipt for the ivf and if they keep giving me attitude then I'm returning them to the fertility clinic as faulty goods...

by Anonymous 9 months ago

A relatively common side effect of being a cystic fibrosis carrier (it requires two recessive genes to give you the terminal disease) is that your vas deferens just never develop. You have sperm, but no delivery system if you get my drift. You wont have any idea you have this problem, because everything works and looks normal, you just are shooting blanks. You generally work it out when you fail to get your wife knocked up for a year. I have this issue, and to have children they had to go in and cut a small piece out of one of my testicles and freeze it, and then take the tiny immature sperms and shove them into eggs in a petri dish. Then they wait for them to grow into little tiny blastocysts, and then they implant them and hope for the best. My wife and I spent 100 grand on this to have two kids. The recovery was painful but not terribly so. A couple days of whining and then i was back to it. It was not cheap, but i have two perfectly normal kids. (and ok fine i have boinked the missus many many times, but technically i didnt have to)

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Tell that to the kids whose father is the infamous serial sperm bank donor.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Yeah and to all the September babies like myself you are probably the product of a cold and drunk Christmas night.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Ever hear your parents doing it? Mine sound like chewbacca mauling a hyena.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I remember a classmate explaining the sexual act to me on the playground when I was in the third grade. "Eeeeew, **no way** my parents did that!!"

by Anonymous 9 months ago

what type of relationship doesnt at least do it once a week? Do people feel odd about this?

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Well there isn't any other way you'd be able to tell they know each other

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I once saw a TikTok from a dad who was waiting outside a school to pick up their 'f\*\*k trophies'.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

people on the internet really love to think about their parents having sex

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Apart from OP. Only OP's mum did it at least once. And the milkman.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Even after 20 plus years of divorce my parents still had chemistry. I am quite sure they were like bunnies for their 3 1/2 years of marriage.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Really difficult to understand when they absolutely loathe each other

by Anonymous 9 months ago

think about the time it takes to make a baby , and think about the month it would have happened... You probably got conceived on your Dads birthday or fathers day.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I was child six of seven. My parents dearly loved each other.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I have 4 siblings, and my mom had a miscarriage. So in my case it is at least 6 times.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Mine did it at least 4 times that I know of. I have 2 siblings and my mom miscarried once.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

I used to have a running joke with my college friends that I don't get laid very often (I was just really private about my personal life). I continued the joke after I got married, and after my daughter was born, the joke changed from never having sex to "well, I had sex at least once"

by Anonymous 9 months ago

Not necessarily. In fact, may not be true for about 1-2% of us! IVF is fairly common now days. I can say with confidence that based on what I know of my background, my biological mother and biological father never had sex.

by Anonymous 9 months ago

do people normally know for sure they were not adopted coz I don't

by Anonymous 9 months ago