Eh I get it from my stance. I'm an adult into anime. I'm not gonna pretend like I don't because other adults think it's weird

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Like with most things, this is something that shouldn't be taken too far to one extreme (changing one's entire personality and no longer being true to oneself in exchange for acceptance from a specific group of people) or the other (behaving in a selfish and inconsiderate manner and expecting others to willingly accept it), but there's a healthy middle ground. Obviously, actions come with consequences and behaving in a rude and selfish manner will cause most people to not want to be around you, and rightfully so. All relationships require some level of compromise in order for them to work, and this involves being considerate and understanding that the world doesn't resolve around you, and that you can't just act any way you want at others' expense and expect them to want to continue spending time with you. Also, people obviously have no interest in being around someone who has no basic respect for anyone else, obviously. However, people should also not completely change things about their personality who make them what they are, such as passions and interests, values, tastes, etc., in order to fit in with a group of people who do not relate or appreciate those things. You can't truly be happy pretending to be someone you're not in order to please others, and people who cannot accept you for who you are (of course barring the belligerent behavior described above) are not really "your" people, anyway. There's a huge spectrum from being completely inauthentic to yourself in order to please others and thinking the world should bend to you, and a lot of gray area in between. I do agree that the belligerent, selfish, and even abusive people you speak of do take this and run with it, however. It's just another way to try to manipulate things in their favor.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I agree, but people often forget that they can already be different versions of themselves already in different situations. Who you are at work is different from who you are with your best friend and you'll be different than them with your grandma. These versions are all us but we just focus on certian aspects of ourselves. While any rule comes with it's caveats, generally it's a good idea to be yourself in general. There is no universal rule of thumb. But "Don't change to fit in" is a good idea. People will misconstue this idea to be "I can be all excitable at work and come dressed as a furry!" Well no, you can still be you but that aspects of yourself can have a nap for 8 hours while you work.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

In Hawaii they have a saying, "adapt or get slapped". Basically means, don't change their culture. If you're in Hawaii, you may need to change so you don't mess up their culture. Fast driver? Not in this neighborhood. Don't respect the elderly? Better learn.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

You're missing the point. The advice is don't change to fit in, not don't change at all. Changing because of the consequences of not changing v. changing is different. In fact sometimes it's at odds with fitting in such as when your peers are encouraging unhealthy or unsafe decisions and you decide to go against that or if your work is disregarding safety standards and you blow the whistle.

by Anonymous 1 year ago