The family you create is more important than the family you come from. amirite?

"The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb".

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I think it depends on your family. I can very much understand this attitude amongst those who didn't have supportive loving families growing up. While no parents are perfect there comes a point at which you have to look back at your past and ask "was this actually traumatic/toxic/abusive or was it just due to the fact that my parents are themselves people who are flawed?" I'm fortunate in that my answer to that question was "yeah, my parents overcame a lot of their own generational issues (my father's family in particular had a long history of alcoholism that he chose to get counseling for and deal with)". So for me everyone who's in the "chosen" family category is just as good, but that's because again I'm blessed to have love and support from all around. For those whose endured genuine abuse, manipulation and torment at the hands of their families I'll agree that you are not required to give love and support to those who didn't give it to you.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

That last sentence of your first paragraph is so important. A lot of people stunt their own growth by holding onto resentment for something their parents did by failing to realize no parents are perfect most are just doing the best they can. It's actually really cathartic realizing "hey, that was just a young adult trying to raise me the best they could. I think I'll do things differently with my children but my parents weren't malicious for what they did to me." Like you said this doesn't apply to actual abuse of course

by Anonymous 1 year ago

It was one of my earlier realizations of being a true independent adult. Too many people hold onto stupid stuff. My mother still gripes about how on family drives up to Canada when she was a kid nobody ever made her older brothers let her have a window seat. There's things that I can understand not being able to let go of, but there's tons of petty stuff. My older brother tried to explain to me recently that it was somehow our parent's fault that he had difficulties with dating in his teens/early 20s. Meanwhile he was far more charismatic and popular than I ever was in high school, he just never had the balls to ask anyone out.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I've always had many justifiable criticisms of my parents. They should have done this thing more--or this thing less. Funny though: now that I have a kid, I realize how much I've taken for granted the simple matter of my parents keeping me and my brother alive through our childhood recklessness. In and of itself, not an easy thing

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Yeah I can point out a lot of stuff my parents did wrong in my past, but again it all comes down to who they are as people. I had to unlearn a lot of reactive, defensive behavior because my mother tends to go from 0 to 100 on freaking about minor stuff. It's just how she is and I've learned as an adult that I can push back when she's being irrational and get her to actually listen. It's hard to know if that would have worked when I was still a "kid" in her eyes, but it's helped our relationship a lot for me to check her in a calm, reasonable manner when she's being a bit histronic.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Remember: your family is just a bunch of random people that you share genetics with. If they are not someone you would associate with otherwise, don't feel bad about not associating with them at all.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I haven't watched any of the Fast and Furious movies, but from what I understand this sentiment + cars can fly pretty much sums them up

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Reverse it and then, boom!

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Talk for yourself. My family is the most important thing in my life and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Statistically, you're likely going to die from what killed your parents.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Arent they all just a continuation of the same thing? The one you come from creates the one you create

by Anonymous 1 year ago

If your own is not better, you wasted your life.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

you can choose your friends but not your family, i'd rather be with someone who's been through war with me and had my back than a so called "brother of my own blood", i will never understand why ppl always say "oh but thats your cousin, thats your blood" as if it changes something, people are people no matter what. For me, family is my brothers, my mother and my father, the others are just parents.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

I would add "or found".

by Anonymous 1 year ago

You don't turn your back on family

by Anonymous 1 year ago

There's a lot of cases where the family turns their back on one of their own first There are lots of good healthy families but not everyone is lucky enough to be born into one

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Perfectly said, If I could reward you I would ❤

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Not if won't create one

by Anonymous 1 year ago

In the biological, or metaphorical sense?

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Not sure that "important" is the right concept here

by Anonymous 1 year ago

It is my experience that only women create and ultimately (in the end game) completely control and decide all family issues including which random number generators (yes I said it) are allowed or disallowed to be included in said "family". Being a "blood" (genetic) relative of said women and/or their siblings and/or spawn statistically increases your chances of becoming a member of said "family". This is all my mother allows me to say and I'm pushing it here.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

Thine baggage shalt not overload thine baggage weight limit.

by Anonymous 1 year ago

True that!!' Leave them behind, move onward

by Anonymous 1 year ago

The meaning of this is, don't let your family effect you and your future family (well of course it doesn't mean abandon your old family…Jesus!!!)

by Anonymous 1 year ago