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Honestly that just sounds impractical. There are far too many hot people.
I think this is too much of a sweeping generalization. Should your partner go spend the night at a club with a person of the opposite sex who they find attractive? Maybe, maybe not. It really depends on the couple, their comfort level with that kind of thing and the potential risk it poses.
Personally I wouldn't want to do anything that hurt my wife's feelings or makes her uncomfortable. I also wouldn't want to put myself in a compromising situation when it can easily be avoided.
With that being said, I went engagement ring shopping with her best friend. Guess what, nothing happened other than I found a great ring and bought her friend lunch. Would you suggest that I instead go with her friend's husband? That would have been a disaster.
I think time knowing someone (partner and attractive member of opposite sex) and situation/frequency are more important than just member of opposite sex who they find attractive.
I meant in private. Not shopping ect
Plus you went ring shopping with someone she trusts. I take it you picked her best friend be a she knows what your wife would like ring wise?
Projection, much?
If you can't trust your partner, maybe getting married is a bad idea.
You might want to work on your trust issues.
Not everyone has the sudden urge to cheat with everyone they see. Believe it or not there are people who are loyal.
Is that you mother, I mean Mrs Pence?
If we go down this reasoning, would this be a married couple clinging on to the false idea of a trustworthy partner to avoid the realization that everyone will cheat on you given the chance? I'm pretty pessimistic but I can't even get behind that.
I see what you're saying. And the answer is, of course, no. Not everyone will cheat. There are, of course, people who could be alone with the opposite sex every day for 50 years and they still wouldn't cheat.
The point is to realize that we are all human. I can SAY I'd never cheat. And I do truly believe what I'm saying. But I also realize that I have weaknesses. It's not so simple as "put me in a room with a hot dude and it's all over." It's more complicated than that... like, what if my husband and I have entered a period of struggle in our marriage? And this other attractive man is making me feel validated, admired, etc. How long until I would break down in this scenario? How long until you would break down? How long until any of us break down? The answer will be different case by case, of course. And again, I like to believe that my answer would be "never." But enough people fall prey to this that I want to learn from their mistakes and ask myself, is there any practical thing they could have done differently? IMO, the answer is generally going to be, "It all began that night that they were alone in the office; alone in the car; alone at his house, etc. etc.
aka me justifying losing my partner because I'm a control freak.
Life, especially relationships, isn't black and white
There's this thing called self-control, friend. Google it for me please.
Do you want to cheat every time you're alone with an attractive member of the opposite sex?
??? care to expound on that?
"I'm Not talking about anyone who's trustworthy."
Someone who is not trustworthy will find a way to cheat even if you NEVER allow them to be in a private space...alone...with someone they find attractive.
Homie. We ain't dogs. Women are not some bitches on heat. Men aren't some horny dog bros who will shag everything that walks on legs.
There will always be someone who is more attractive than you, except for me. I'm pretty much on a god-tier.
And you can't control every single circumstance that your partner is in. About the only possible way is to keep them on video call all the time or live stream all their movement through a camera. And that sort of controlling behaviour is worse than cheating, I would say...
I agree with you 100%.
I think people nowadays act strangely ignorant of biological evolution and basic human nature. Or like they aren't aware of the gazillion affairs that happen each year and could have been prevented by common sense boundaries such as the one you mention here.
Just because you want to cheat every time you spend time with someone doesn't mean everyone wants to.
You are obviously committed to seeing this as a dichotomy. Nothing I say will make any sense to you.
Well, yeah. You kinda want to control who your partner can interact with, or you don't. Not really an alternative option.
You sound paranoid and controlling.
Maybe see someone about that.
And try trusting people.
i'll be damned if i'm babysitting my grown ass spouse. if they wanna sit alone with someone they find attractive then so be it! they act up it's their fault and their fault only i will not be responsible for their actions
It's vary controlling and it's far easier to have trust
My only problem here is the word ‘allow.' I'm going to choose not to spend time alone in private with women I'm attracted to, and I believe my wife will do the same.
I think you take it a little too far. However I would find it disrespectful for my partner to hang out one on one in private with another man. I would never do that with another woman.
If my partner is going to cheat with every small opportunity they can get, I say go for it sooner rather than later. Save me the trouble of getting a divorce later down the road with more assets to deal with.
Male moment
Nah there's women who do this too, no need for the sexist stuff
sorry cannot resist monkey brain urge to generalize
Monke go brrrr
woman moment
Facts I agree with you
It's only a problem if you rack disaprin.
If your partner is bi/pan, they're just not allowed to have friends. 10/10 healthy relationship
Being attracted to someone doesn't mean you want to have sex with them. I'm attracted to a lot of people who I would 100% reject if they came onto me. And I'm single.
Ok Mike Pence😂
I think it's so weird that all these married people are supposedly out canoodling with hot opposite sex friends alone. Like who has the time and why are you doing this? I know no one in real life that hangs out 1:1 with opposite sex friends and is married
And if they do hang out openly, they're usually not the ones cheating. It's the ones who have to hide the fact they're doing it.
I don't think it's appropriate either way
Why is it not appropriate to hang out with opposite sex friends?
It's inappropriate 1:1. Just my opinion. In 11 years together, even throughout college, and 5 years married neither me nor my husband have ever done that and have never even wanted to do that. We had some friends who put a lot of importance on opposite sex friends and none of them are together anymore let's just say that.
So as a bisexual person, in your eyes, I can't really spend any time with anyone alone? Sounds like a pretty lonely life to live, and a deal breaker. If they can't trust me to not cheat, then the relationship isn't worth it.
And I could give an exact opposite experience. People who suddenly decide to neglect their friendships once a relationship develops often lose their friends after that point. So when their relationship falls out, they have nothing. They try to get back into these friendships when they're single again. They usually don't get accepted back and don't deserve to be.
I'm just speaking to heterosexual relationships as that's the only thing I know. I don't neglect my friendships. I prefer to hang out with other women by a lot
I'm just applying your logic outside of your extremely narrow perspective.
If controlling someone's social interaction is valid by virtue of them potentially cheating, then all it would apply in all equal scenarios.
So to you, a man preventing his bisexual girlfriend from hanging out with anyone besides them would be justifiable and a perfectly healthy thing to do.
I'm sorry - can you elaborate? Do you mean I shouldn't let my male partner be alone with ANY woman (because he's attracted to women) or with SPECIFIC women he's attracted to?
Found Mike Pence's burner.