+130 When it comes to dating, having a "roster" is a massive turn-off. amirite?

by Anonymous 7 months ago

Like you said, it's difficult to avoid. That's why when you hit a certain point you have a conversation about becoming exclusive and set out the parameters and expectations of the relationship.

by Anonymous 7 months ago

Definitely. Only a couple days in, I wouldn't get mad because what if we didn't work out? Theyd be stuck with nothing. After a couple months though I would expect to be exclusive or I would feel replaceable

by Anonymous 7 months ago

Multiple people 🤣 not the avg guy experience.

by Anonymous 7 months ago

for a gay men, this is not just average, it's the norm.

by Anonymous 7 months ago

You would have been very turned-on by me; I had 0 people in my roster at all times.

by Anonymous 7 months ago

So long as their roster stays private then it's whatever. If they share too much I could see that as a turn off tho.

by Anonymous 7 months ago

On the other hand I can imagine them oversharing about a partner, consequently reducing their likelihood of cheating

by Anonymous 7 months ago

The thing is exclusively is an agreement, you can't expect it without talking about it. It's pretty ridiculous to expect someone to be loyal to someone they've had a couple meals with.

by Anonymous 7 months ago

Dating means seeing a few people casually while you figure out values / characteristics that are important to you 👍🏼 talking bout a roster is cringe though just be lowkey

by Anonymous 7 months ago

Agreed. I know it's expected. But it renders me uninterested in the whole damn thing. I've thrown in the towel. No one really gets infatuated anymore. We're always waiting for the shoe to drop so we can move on to the next one in rotation.

by Anonymous 7 months ago

Yes, I started dating again after being married and now separated. I am so disillusioned with how bad the dating scene is.

by Anonymous 7 months ago

Not only that, but I hate how it plays into this idea of optimizing everything. People could be in perfectly fulfilling relationships, but they can't just settle into it because what if there's something better? What if there's someone hotter, or wealthier, or funnier? They can't not try and find out, because then they wouldn't be getting the maximum value out of their relationships! It's such a depressing way to go about dating.

by Anonymous 7 months ago

>No one really gets infatuated anymore no wonder if you only use online dating your dating life will look like a serie of repetitive soulless job interviews. Real life encounters are so much more fulfilling and romantic 💘

by Anonymous 7 months ago

I am not offended by it or anything. It is just unlikely the kind of person i am into would be doing that

by Anonymous 7 months ago

>me at 2 years on multiple dating apps with no successful meet ups/date so far Yeah real tragedy about whatever you're talking about or something.

by Anonymous 7 months ago

as a guy, never take a woman seriously until y'all are dating and ALWAYS use protection. the women I've met talk to multiple men, have sex with multiple men, and cheat in relationships. just don't trust everything someone says because you never really know. better to be safe than sorry

by Anonymous 7 months ago

I definitely keep a roster. It's unrealistic to think that people would do anything else. Even before the Advent of Internet dating, wasn't uncommon for somebody to have interest in multiple individuals and simply see which one checked their boxes first. I usually keep between three and five people on my roster, but I don't let anyone stay there for more than a month. I feel like if I haven't caught feelings for somebody and they haven't reciprocated within a month, nothing's going to happen anyways. I do agree with you that it's slightly disrespectful to actively be going on dates with multiple people, but I don't see anything wrong with keeping lines open in the beginning of a relationship that you're not even entirely sure is going to work out in the first place.

by Anonymous 7 months ago

I didn't have a roster, if you didn't peak my interest I wasn't interested.

by Anonymous 7 months ago

You have to otherwise when one eventually ghosts (which is common) you don't feel like crap

by Anonymous 7 months ago

I agree. I'm a lover girl and only focus on one person. But it's never worked in my favor. So if I have a "roster" (which I usually don't bc I really mentally cannot be interested in multiple people), it's only defensive

by Anonymous 7 months ago

same. Im truly done with the dating scene.

by Anonymous 7 months ago