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Relationships makes people feel happy and fulfilled.
We evolved to live in tribes where strong social bonds were crucial for survival. The same mechanism is still active today. When we feel needed by other people and feel contributing to someone we care about, our brain signals that we are doing the right thing by making as feel good for doing it.
To define oneself through relationship and role you hold is completely acceptable and even respectable. For example, "I'm a father".
There might be issues with dependent anxious attachment among some people. That is correct. But to see an issue that people put priority on relationships rather than something else in their life is completely understandable. And I would argue often desirable. You'll do the same if you're lucky and find someone to build that relationship with.
some people value relationships more than others. let people live their lives
Sounds like he's mad bc he can't get a woman to be with him
Someone's bitter that women are happy 😂
Why is this a women specific thing? Its really not. Also it's they're not their
Sadly that stuff is indoctrinated from childhood.
That's my sister. Almost High school sweethearts(they met young but not that young) together for a long time then one day she has this big realization and wants to leave. Goes on about she's ready to live her own life and be happy with herself. One year later meets someone else. She's been in only 2 relationships her entire life and refuses to be alone. So sad and the annoying part is she won't admit it.
Red flag for me is a girl that hasn't been single more than a year between relationships.
I'd like to believe that she just met a better match. I don't think she refuses to be alone. I think she just likes the person she's with.
You're right, you know my sister better than me 🙄
I know what you told us, and your evidence did not convince me.
Almost as if a lifetime with someone is the same as hearing about them online. You are right. I'm ignorant in thinking details observed mean nothing. Me time I'll be sure to priced an entire biography
You're the one who decided to tell a story. It's not my fault if you did a bad job of explaining it.
I think it's pathetic to care and judge someone over what their identity is about. Not to mention that humans are all about relationships by their nature.
People who use "their" when they mean "they're" are embarrassing.
I think you're making a bigger deal out of it than it really is.
Beat me to it ☹️
Also, „a women".
I hate it so much. Same deal with your and you're. The funniest thing is when someone tries to insult you by saying "your dumb". No, YOU'RE dumb
A lot of people's whole identity is the relationship they're in and it's sorta pathetic
Those people are generally just happy.
They are demented
It makes you unhappy you don't have that.
Having a hyperfixation is not good
Using psychiatric terms incorrectly to try to quantify love is not good.
People falling in love is actually pretty commonplace.
It is. Making it their whole personality isn't
No, they are not. A healthy relationship involves having an identity that is separate from your partner. You're not supposed to complete each other. You're supposed to complement each other.
Exactly. My partner does make me happy, but I am also happy in myself and my personhood completely unrelated to my partner. My partner isn't the sole reason I am happy.
I don't think it has to involve that but it usually does. For the first few years it most definitely should though. My wife and I had separate things for a long time but after over a decade of being together (and especially after moving and having kids) everything sort of melded together.
To be fair it does seem to be much more women than men from what I've seen
Generally men hyperfixate on sexual attention as a measure of their worth and women fixate on relationship quality as a measure of their worth.
So a lot of women aren't living up to your expectations?
Man, they're gonna be crushed to hear that.
The council of women is heartbroken. We're thinking about buying a gift for OP for causing them so much stress.
A half eaten packet of Rolos and an Ulster Bank keyring would work.
as long as by half eaten you mean the long way
We get flooded with those messages our whole lives. Then we enter an adult world that still values us based on how pretty we are and whether we have a family. We get asked about motherhood more than our majors. For the women who fall for it, it's easy, guaranteed validation. It doesn't matter that it's hollow when there's no other option to rely on.
Yeah I'm so frustrated that my family got more excited when I found a boyfriend than whenever I find a job. One was mostly dumb luck and one was hard work.
Yeah you tell those FEMALES Op!
Sounds like they're just happy 🤷♂️
Men do this too. I'd say more so.
Men are taught to never be vulnerable with their feelings unless it's anger or aggression. They don't receive hugs or words of affirmation from their friends. So naturally, they hunger for that and can only get that if they are with a woman. That's why they become so bitter and angry with the world when they can't.
This is because we tell women their only value in society is being wives and mothers. I mean, the times have changed and thankfully we don't think that anymore. But it's still true in some places.
I don't make friends with people whose entire identity is their partners, or their kids, etc. My former best friend totally forgot about me the moment she got married, and it was awful. I'm someone who still hangs out with my friends when I start dating someone, AND I always encourage my partner to keep socialising with his friends.
A lot of mens whole identity is the relationship they're not in so I guess people just love relationships 🤷♀️
They're*
A lot of people make their entire identity about criticizing anything a woman anywhere chooses to do and the applying it to all women
who hurt you op?
Facebook isn't real life OP
Honestly what OP says ribgs true for a lot of women i know in my life and even while dating. They are always in a relationship and always their identity and interests morph into their parnter's.
They do what they want but personally i prefer women who have their own thing going on, their own passions,
So many unpopular opinions on here are based on what they see on the internet. It's like people dont go outside at all anymore or have friends in real life
Go outside of what?
The backrooms
Next you'll be telling us santa clause isn't real
I'm…not sure how to tell you this…
Yeah, it's Santa Claus
I heard he fought against Pitch Black.
Ummm… what is real life supposed to be if not the internet?
Considering anyone who's anyone is on it.
Yk you could've just said people instead of women.
Dude is also using Facebook as his source... Jesus christ
that's where he found about this type of people. What's wrong?
He's angry at women, not people. Sounds like he's just having a tough time being single bless him.
Gods, not everything is misogyny. Toughen up.
In my experience, women are much more likely to take on the personality of their partner than the other way around
really? i've noticed the opposite. it's even a trend that women convert men to their religion
Latvian Orthodox perhaps
You joke, but the number of young men that convert to Orthodoxy just to find a wife is worrisome.
I like the hats
This depends on your generation tbh. It's true up until you get to the younger millennials I think. After that, the amount of simping and desperation in young men has led many of them to act the same ways when they finally land a relationship. Women have much more power in the dating market these days
Who are the women you are talking about? A woman being in a happy relationship does not equal a woman who's relationship is their whole identity.
Because we live in a society that tells women they're incomplete until they have a husband and kids.
And because the patriarchy is still alive and well....we have men and women that raise their daughters to believe the same!
I mean will a bad relationship not make one unhappy? Will a better relationship not contribute toward being happier? This doesn't sound like women tying self-worth into relationships, it sounds like people being happy in public with their partners is what you don't like lol
Oh please, like there aren't men who do that. Codependency isn't healthy in anyone, regardless of gender.
I think it's in part because initially love was portrayed for women as an end goal: to marry a (wealthy) husband and to provide children and to take care of them. While for men, marriage was initially seen as a side achievement for life instead of being one of the main things you have to accomplish in order to have a "fulfilling" life like it is for women
"They're". Also this isn't just women, men do this too.
Sampling bias. Women are more likely to talk about their relationships than men are. Doesn't mean men don't feel the same way. Also, nothing wrong with women (or men) being happy in a relationship which is what you seem to be taking issue with.
Woman = 1 woman (Singular)
Women = Multiple women (Plural)
When did we lose this? Drives me nuts every time I see it.
I think this is left over from when women weren't allowed to have status or accomplishments of their own, and could only have them second hand through connections to men. So the way to change this is to work against things that prevent or discourage women from working towards their own accomplishments.
I have a friend who has no identity of her own and assumes the identity of who she's dating. She dates a redneck, she becomes a redneck. She dates a pothead gamer she becomes a pothead gamer.
There's nothing wrong with finding happiness in your partner but also your happiness shouldn't depend on a person
You right but honestly I've seen more dudes like that recently who don't talk about anything but their girlfriend and always apologize to their life long friends so they can ditch them for their girlfriend and it's like don't get me wrong Ik you need a balance but damn you're just gonna ignore your friends you've known forever for a girl you've known for a couple months?
Relationships are a very big, very common part of life. The person you live with, are in a relationship with, are married to, have kids with, etc. generally has an impact on your mood and general happiness.
If everything in a person's life were perfect, but their partner treated them horribly, they'd probably be unhappy.
Do some people take it too far? Of course. But having a good or bad partner can make or break a lot of things in someone's life.
A lot of men see themselves as not complete without a woman in their life sooo...
A lot of men make their entire personality and worldview around not being able to be with women to the point where they literally murder people, so yeah. OP is wild.
Men have gone on deadly rampages because they couldn't have a relationship with a woman.
Humans are social creature that long for intimacy and connections. It's sad to see what can happen when those needs aren't meet.
And according to OP sad to see what can happen when those needs are met. lol
The whole popular yet very much dated "men hate their wives" shtick is literally about men who only marry women to have someone to cook and do chores for them. Because they couldn't survive a week without them.
And of course let's not forget the stupidly high number of incels who act as if they absolutely have to date women and obsess over them despite hating their guts.
Yeah so let's teach our women to not hinge their life off a man then get accused of being anti men
Yes, we're conditioned to tie our worth around male validation. I hope you're not a guy saying this
Let people be happy.
Oh goodie. It's time for the daily "why do other people always talk about important things in their life so much?" Opinion. Maybe it's because people like talking about things that are important to them?
Women being in happy relationships with men and talking about it = bad.
Women saying they don't need men and that they are happy = bad.
Being in a good relationship is a thing that makes people happy, whether they are women or men.
GENESIS 3:16 To the woman he said, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."
Guys are like this too. Without a gf they are kind of pathetic.
cause women rely on men since the beginning of time
What do you have against people being happy? Let people be happy how they want lol
I'm not agreeing with OP but I had a friend who couldn't be single. Every time her relationship ended, she would either get back with them or end up in another relationship.
I jokingly asked her why, but she said it was just a coincidence
I've had so many friends just drop off the face of the earth when they get a partner, then come back when that partner upset them and then rinse and repeat. And single women in particular whose life goal is to get married 🤮
I agree with you. That being said, I am not convinced it is a gendered issue; plenty of men in similar situations
Learn to spell. And not be misogynistic.
Who wants to bet "a lot of" means like 10
My identity is not just my relationship, but when I think about the #1 thing that makes me happy, I think about my partner. I think it's normal for people to value the important relationships in their life and see them as a bigger source of happiness than their career and hobbies. I need my career, obviously, everyone needs money to live on and I'm sure a lack of money would make me very unhappy very fast, but it doesn't bring a smile to my face the way my partner does. Valuing people over things is normal.
I respect it
Apparently women being happy in relationships is bad.
Where did the OP say that?
Yeah no, he didn't say "bad", he said pathetic, which is worse
Except he didn't say that about being happy in relationships, did he? He said it's pathetic to make your whole identity about your relationship. That's a very different thing, isn't it? Being happy about something vs. making your whole identity about something. They're different, right?
But the person I responded to didn't make that distinction. They heard "this guy doesn't want women to be happy in relationships." They are changing what he said, then disagreeing with it. How does that make sense?
Finally, here's the final thing that OP said. What part of this do you object to?"you don't need to jump from man to man trying to find "happiness" it's a losing battle, find it within yourself first and the right person will come along in due time"
Women enable it. They obviously find some value being in this apparent handicap.
maybe touch some grass?