+148 Public school teaches you how to socialize in a way private school never could, amirite?

by Anonymous 3 months ago

Public schools are far more diverse and include everything from a run down crime ridden inner city school with a graduation rate below 50% (and horrible literacy and numeracy metrics) to a extremely well funded school in an upper class community where 90% or more of the students are college bound. Your school may have been better than private schools but that doesn't mean that most are.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Private schools vary greatly as well. Some are religious. Some are military. Some are for the wealthy. Some are financial aid based. Some are for special needs.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Yeah but each of those are monolithic so OPs point about lack of diversity still holds.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Because of its location in the city, my private school was the most diverse in our otherwise very segregated area

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Don't assume all private schools are religious. There are plenty of private schools, particularly boarding schools, that probably force more socialization than 8 hours a day public schools.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Disagree, based on my personal experience. I first went to Public and then to Private School. At Public School, I was miserable and git bullied and completely shut down. Only talked to like, five people (and three were family). In Private School I got included in class, didn't have so much trouble with my autism anymore, I started to understand social cues way better, I was able to hold conversations with everyone. After one year, I was brave enough to speak to the cash lady in the supermarket again. So, Private School helped me how Public School never could have. For others that‘s different and that‘s fine :) But we were definitely not sheltered.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Honestly, your experiences are pretty much the hypothetical of what my parents and I were told by a psychologist when I was formally diagnosed with Social (pragmatic) Communication Disorder, that because I went to (religious) private schools helped me with my condition since kids were far nicer there than they would be at a public school.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I assume you're in the US (those have different meanings in the UK) Also, the rich and exclusive don't communicate the same way everyone else does. It works for them.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I'd argue public schools RUIN your ability to socialize, depending on who you are. There are some kids who thrive and some kids who feel forced into a box in front of dozens of other kids. And there were plenty of days kids in school kept to themselves. So it's not like you'll be learning social skills daily. We haven't even mentioned issues of bullying yet.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

This was my experience. Public school was day after day of not being able to socialize between having to get work done and avoid being more of a bullying target.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

So there aren't any loners or kids who get picked on at private schools?

by Anonymous 4 months ago

There's loners and bullies, but kids can get expelled much more easily in a private school so the real troublemakers are tossed.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I mean lots of kids in private school get pushed into a box as well

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Really? My public school experience consisted of chronic pressure to appease the selfish whims of the most malicious people I have ever met.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Couldnt have said it better, thats exactly what i experienced as well

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I didn't have this experience at all. I spent a year in boarding and kind of found the opposite (or rather, public school kids were massively more varied in how sociable and independent they were).

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I disagree. Public school was absolutely devastating on my social skills.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Yeah, let's talk about what "better at socializing" means. If it means able to find the normal target for bullying and join in on that person before you might be associated with them, then yeah its better. But if means being kind, moral and decent to all, then no, it is not better.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Often it doesn't seem as though either schools teach socializing but rather test it.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Idk many people go in and come out of public school as awkward as ever

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Good private schools have a more hands-on approach due smaller class sizes and tailored curriculums. This can be beneficial for many students who struggle and are often abandoned by the public schooling system.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I agree. I didn't know the n word until I went to public school.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I dunno, I went to private schools my entire life, elementary, highschool and college and I turned out just fine socially.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I mean if you got to private high school private college and end up at like Deloitte when are you going to socialize with a diverse group of people

by Anonymous 4 months ago

tell that to all the social outcasts of public schools

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Disagreed, at least where i live. Kids from private background are most likely to socialize and initiate something as they were encouraged to do so at a young age, and us public school kids were not encouraged to try and speak up instead we get scolded and yelled at for being wrong.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Yes because in private schools kids are kept in solitary and are prevented from fraternizing with their fellow mates. Dude. What.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I also wonder if experience working a minimum-wage service retail job is a comparable experience.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Being bullied a lot certainly motivates you to get better coping skills, assuming you survive the trauma.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Depends on the school, their focus and parents too Some private schools have a massive focus on academics so the children never actually get the chance to socialise or learn how equally I've worked with public school children who's parents push them way too hard and they don't have time or entity focus on anything but school and preselected classes so again no time to actually learn to socialise or make friends.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Kinda, but in public school your kid socializing with plebs kids, and in private he builds connections with wealthy families

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I went to an exclusive private school and the majority of my peers were lazy/drug addicted/alcoholic trust fund kids. A lot weren't hungry for success because they already had the keys to the kingdom. Also money doesn't equal good parental guidance, outsourcing all child rearing is damaging in its own way.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

really depends on the schools and how many kids are there. my daughter went to a private school that only had 120 kids in it. about 50% of the families received financial aid for it. but theres other private schools in the area with 1000 kids in them. my friend went to a public school and only graduated with 50 kids. the same 50 kids she went to kindergarten with because she lives in the middle of nowhere. whereas i grew up near a city and graduated from a public school with 800 kids per class.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

My parents made me go to a private Christian School in fourth grade and I hated it. It was like prison They let me go back to public school after I beg them to let me go back

by Anonymous 4 months ago

You're spot on. From K-8 I was in private school in a class of 12 kids. I also have autism. I didn't really have any friends in that time, I was mostly alone through childhood. Needless to say it took copious amounts of personal work and therapy to learn social skills and I still struggle sometimes.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

This isn't an unpopular opinion, but it is a pretty obvious observation.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

First of all, that is very anecdotal, as it's based on whatever small sample size you have run across in real life. Socialization in school is kind of arbitrary and artificial in the first place, because the entire rest of your life you're going to interact with very diverse people across all different age groups, but school forces you into a grade where your immediate peers are all within 12 months of you in age, and you're also forced onto a conveyor belt of learning to progress at the same speed (ideally). Those constraints and barriers generally don't exist once you leave school.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

My brothers high school only give enough time to chat during lunch or outside school on their own time and my fiancé said his school was the same. Idk what kind of socializing that is but it seems sad

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Neither really give people the social skills they need tbh. Gotta have a job where you have to be sociable.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Not how to socialize, its how to tolerate, take that as you will. You can be perfectly socialized privately, you just wont be used to those who are unsocialized, who you tend to encounter in public.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Not true at all. My private school had the biggest degenerate kids in the entire grade. Once we got to middle school we corrupted all the public school kids.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

This was my experience as well. The best part was when I was high school age and working as a grocery bagger. I met a random parent that had a kid going to the private school that I went to in elementary (I left the private school to go to public schools before high school). I mentioned I went to the same school. She snobbily asked me if I felt like I was more prepared for high school than "the public school kids." I politely explained that I had gone to public school as well and I felt that it prepared me better than the private school. She got this look on her face, walked to the front of her car without saying a word, and waited until I finished loading her groceries. I think I ruined her day lol.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I don't think so. The private school kids in my city always had waaaaay bigger squads because they were friends with like 10 connected private schools. Public schools were more isolated in that regard.I had friends from the nearest couple, and that was it.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I mean they just learn how to be around rich religious people. it's mostly the same skill set maybe a bit sheltered but it's not like they're mole people

by Anonymous 4 months ago

This isn't an opinion… this is just a baseless attempt at generalization lol

by Anonymous 4 months ago

TIL: social = diverse

by Anonymous 4 months ago

No.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Eh, sort of. Private school kids are better at socializing and navigating within a much narrower demographic band. It's more ‘specialization Vs generalization' than a clear plus or minus.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I spent elementary in private school and middle school on in public school. My social skills aren't AMAZING, I guess. I don't make friends with everyone I see (unless I have a beer in my hand), but have close friends that I keep for a long time across the country. My hardest part socially was that I was in a different place than my peers academically and they all grew up together— I did not know anyone. Still made friends, jumped up to honors, and skipped a few classes forward (not a full grade, just more challenging classes). All turned out well. So I guess it was a trade off. Social skills or academic.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

It definitely teaches you how to socialize... not in a good way though. Thats often what people say is the most important part of public school, I would argue its the biggest reason why the concept is net harmful to society.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

As someone that had 12 years of private school inflicted on them - you have no idea how true this is.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Seems more likely you associate with and identify with the people you've socialized with, whereas people who were socialized in other ways appear foreign to you.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

You can't just categorize adults into 2 boxes based on your opinion of their social skills. Everyone is different. School plays a huge part in how people develop, but you can't speak for everyone. Bad take tbh.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

As a former private school student and a current public school teacher, this is 100% accurate.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

We were supposed to learn how to socialize in public school?

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I'd prefer education over social skills. All of the lids from private schools always seems to well educated.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Do you know what a private school is?.... Because the only difference is that private schools cost money

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I lived with some girls who were still friends from their private high school and hadn't made many other friends since school, and 2/3 were incredibly emotionally stunted (angry, snobby, entitled, rude, purposefully intimidating, judgemental and almost 30). On the other hand, a lot of my close friends went to private schools but have made other friends since leaving private school so they're fine

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Many public schools are actually less diverse than private schools. Private schools try to display an image of inclusion so they offer scholarships to include diversity. Public schools are just the kids who live in the general vicinity meaning they are often 95% white or black

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Not all those ways are good or healthy. Public school kids commit suicide and getting involved in drinking and drug use that ends up killing someone or derails their life.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

People growing up in different environments experience different cultures and therefore develop different social skills and habits. We all know how to behave in some situations and are awkward in others. I expected it's more a case of you relating to other public school kids more easily because they are a bit more similar to you.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I went to public school and I never learned how to socialize like a normal human being. I'm not sure what that says about me…

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Not unpopular. My grandpa told me something similar. "The point of high school wasn't to teach you those things. The real point is to socialize you and get you used to dealing with lots of people." - Grandpa when talking about his time in high school.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

i grew up in private school then moved to public and im so glad that happened. it changed me forever

by Anonymous 4 months ago

i went to public school and still can't socialize for my life

by Anonymous 4 months ago

In a general sense it does prepare you more for the general public but on the flip side. Private prepares you for office/ professional places more. A lot of people simply don't have the ability to be professional, even for interviews. That lets them down massively as they may be clever and a great worker behind the "common tongue" that they may have. Some simply can't help themselves from swearing because they always have.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Depends on the private school, big private schools it's probably similar to public. Smaller ones yeah the kids are weird.

by Anonymous 4 months ago

Socializing is probably one of my biggest strengths. Private school kid grades 1-12 :)

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I'm ex private school. I can literally make friends anywhere. My wife often gets annoyed when we go out because I'll end up making friends with multiple people in whatever bar we're drinking in and turn what should be a few quiet drinks into a late night party. When I'm away with work, I'll often just go out in whatever city I'm in alone and have great nights out meeting strangers

by Anonymous 4 months ago

As long as you arent home schooled i think it's about the same

by Anonymous 4 months ago

I attended a very expensive and insular catholic school from K-12 and I am incredibly antisocial now. You might be on to something lol

by Anonymous 4 months ago