+144
Clown is the only legitimate profession that's also an insult. amirite?
by Anonymous8 months ago
People who actually package fudge have probably had to change their job title.
by Anonymous8 months ago
No shame in being a confectionary distribution engineer.
by Anonymous8 months ago
It's 2023, ain't nothin wrong with packing a little fudge
by Anonymous8 months ago
That's what she said
by Anonymous8 months ago
confectionary distribution *technician*
by Anonymous8 months ago
Technician*.
Engineers are the ones who sit in their office and tell those ~~fudge packers~~ confectionary distribution technicians, how to pack it.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Shout out to the Uranus Fudge Factory in Missouri. The best fudge comes from Uranus!
by Anonymous8 months ago
Looking at you Tom Cruise
by Anonymous8 months ago
Wiener smokers too
by Anonymous8 months ago
Need this one explained for my simple head
by Anonymous8 months ago
A fudge packer is a derogatory term for homosexual men, and was commonly used as an insult to imply someone was homosexual.
It has become less commonly used recently as implying homosexuality as an insult has become less socially acceptable in general, but it is definitely still used by some people.
by Anonymous8 months ago
You sayin' nerf herders ain't legit?
by Anonymous8 months ago
Scruffy ones arent
by Anonymous8 months ago
Who's scruffy looking??
by Anonymous8 months ago
I'm Scruffy. The janitor.
by Anonymous8 months ago
I've never seen you before.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Garbage man? In school in the 90s calling some kids dad a bin man was a common insult.
Also now evolved to as meaning a drug dealer.
by Anonymous8 months ago
"Did you put the bin out for the bin guy?
It's all I'll ask. " - Brett Domino
by Anonymous8 months ago
The Brett Domino **Trio**, don't forget, there are two of them
by Anonymous8 months ago
She…. She had one job. She ran the Old Dog (the pub)
by Anonymous8 months ago
But not now she not!
Why? Coz she too hot.
(She fit)
by Anonymous8 months ago
But bin men get sad
by Anonymous8 months ago
Hello mate. Where's ya bin?
> I bin on holiday.
Nah, mate. Where's ya *wheelie* bin?
> I *wheelie* bin on holiday.
by Anonymous8 months ago
> Garbage man
I think "garbage man" and "pick-up artist" are labels that we all have backward.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Yer da sells Avon
by Anonymous8 months ago
Hahahaha, classic
by Anonymous8 months ago
In my country with high unemployment, garbage collection is a desired job
by Anonymous8 months ago
I hope not! That's what I tell people I do for a living at parties, because if they find out I'm a network engineer I'll spend the rest of the night answering "Why won't my Windows update install? Do I need a bigger hard drive? My kid's play Minecraft and the screen drags..."
by Anonymous8 months ago
As somewhat of a network engineer myself, just wanna ask. You get invited to parties?
by Anonymous8 months ago
Somewhat? You either is or you ain't!
by Anonymous8 months ago
Or you was but you isn't but they think you do so you do despite being not one but you is cause you always is and maybe always was.
by Anonymous8 months ago
I somehow understood all of that. Valid point.
by Anonymous8 months ago
The coolest moment of my life was during a time when I was assigned to collect the garbage from the classroom in 7th grade. A girl called my a garbage man and I (for the only time in my life) without hesitation said "yeah but you're trash"
Still think about that
by Anonymous8 months ago
I know you are but what am I?
A garbage man!
by Anonymous8 months ago
Takes one to know one
by Anonymous8 months ago
Ooooooh
by Anonymous8 months ago
This is what I came here for.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Wherever garbage collectors are part of the municipal public service union, it's probably a decent job.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Try using that as an insult now a days. In some places they make more cash than some dual income households.
by Anonymous8 months ago
I'm the Trashman! I get in there and I throw trash all over the all over the ring!
by Anonymous8 months ago
Depending where you are, a garbage man (or sanitation engineer) is a well compensated position, usually with benefits, pension and PTO and is a respectable (albeit dirty) profession.
Garbagemen also are more beneficial to society than most (if not all) politicians
by Anonymous8 months ago
Most if not all other professions
by Anonymous8 months ago
That was before we learned how much money they make
by Anonymous8 months ago
Used car salesman. Gotcha.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Okay ditch digger
by Anonymous8 months ago
I see why OP added "legitimate"
by Anonymous8 months ago
Depends on where you live. Certain places are famous for a wider range of, ahem, "legitimacy" than others.
by Anonymous8 months ago
But... It's the world's oldest profession!
by Anonymous8 months ago
No, that would be midwifery.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Thank you for saying this.
by Anonymous8 months ago
By adding legit, he has just insulted every other profession that would fit.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Sex work is real work.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Agreed, but "legitimate" means "conforming to the law or rules" (Oxford Dictionary). Similar definition in other dictionaries.
by Anonymous8 months ago
It's legal in plenty of places, as it should be.
by Anonymous8 months ago
No it shouldn't. It should be legal in all places.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Unless you're British, then everything can be used as an insult.
"You absolute plumber."
"You total dentist."
"What are ya? A complete quantity surveyor, that's what you are!"
by Anonymous8 months ago
"Never met such a Project Manager in my life"
Being British and working in IT, that's a legit insult
by Anonymous8 months ago
"Lawyer" can also be used in this capacity.
i.e. "don't lawyer me on this minor inconvenience"
by Anonymous8 months ago
Ouch. Ooohh that one stings
by Anonymous8 months ago
Being not British and working in IT, that's universal insult.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Should be an insult every where.
by Anonymous8 months ago
They were Australian I think, but at a bar they said to my friend (US), ‘you're a total weapon' and smiled. He took it as a compliment. Someone had to explain that they were calling him a tool.
by Anonymous8 months ago
My buddies family is from NZ and when they took his older brother there they asked if he "drank piss." He was like "wtfff??" And then it was explained that they meant beer
by Anonymous8 months ago
This would usually be a compliment in Australia.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Usually meaning someone is especially good or skilled at something, or can fight.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Complement in the UK also, it means dangerous, usually for members of the opposite sex, I.e. attractive.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Looks like you forgot your ticket to the ... *flexes arms*.. Gun show.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Probably Scottish
by Anonymous8 months ago
You are a complete Doctor of Neurosurgery, drink ya pint.
by Anonymous8 months ago
We've got a brain surgeon over here.
by Anonymous8 months ago
What do you do? Rocket science?
by Anonymous8 months ago
Estate agent
by Anonymous8 months ago
We don't accept that sort of language in this house
by Anonymous8 months ago
What about in a 3 bed terrace with real potential and an avocado suite?
by Anonymous8 months ago
I never got why being called a Muppet was so bad. Everyone loves the Muppets.
by Anonymous8 months ago
It's not about the muppet itself, but about the hand.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Oh the Muppets are awesome. I have been a fan literally my whole life, since my Mum used to let me stay up late when I was like 3-4 years old just so we could watch the Muppet Show together. So yeah, the Muppets are great, but I wouldn't let any of them operate an electric can opener without adult supervision. I wouldn't give them a list of chores and trust them to get anything done without wrecking the place. The term "Muppet" just suits some people.
by Anonymous8 months ago
I don't know. I'd trust Kermit more than most people in this world. And Miss Piggy seems pretty capable if you don't mind getting smacked in the face.
Maybe keep Kermit away from the phone. Never know who might be calling.
by Anonymous8 months ago
You sound like a merchant banker mate
by Anonymous8 months ago
Look at mr. Rocket Scientist over here trying to make a funny
by Anonymous8 months ago
>British
>dentist used as an insult
>hmmm
by Anonymous8 months ago
Came to say this! English insults are great
You spanner. You trolley. You half-price yoghurt.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Down at the vineyard, my grandad spent many years as a cork soaker.
by Anonymous8 months ago
> cork soaker.
I don't think you can just say that.
Not with the hard R
by Anonymous8 months ago
Cork Soaka?
by Anonymous8 months ago
One of the best SNL skits ever
by Anonymous8 months ago
Being a clown requires a combination of acrobatics, juggling, magic, and stand-up comedy.
Most everyone you know would not make it through clown college.
Clowns should be respected.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Clowns have feelings too! *shows picture of sad clown*
by Anonymous8 months ago
Also hungry for the children of Derry
by Anonymous8 months ago
Ah, that reminds me... Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
by Anonymous8 months ago
In fact, it's the It profession there
by Anonymous8 months ago
But doctor I am Pagliacci!
by Anonymous8 months ago
If I recall correctly the Ringling Bros.Clown College had a lower acceptance rate than Harvard and Yale. It's not that getting through CC is hard, but even getting accepted was.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Seriously though, clowning is no joke
by Anonymous8 months ago
Sure thing ya clown
by Anonymous8 months ago
Honk honk
by Anonymous8 months ago
Next you're going to say magicians as well.
by Anonymous8 months ago
I wouldn't mess with them. I saw one saw a woman in half.
by Anonymous8 months ago
"We demand to be taken seriously."
by Anonymous8 months ago
I know someone who went to clown college. They work at a bank.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Sometimes you just want to run away from the circus to join a financial institution
by Anonymous8 months ago
I went to clown school. It's a fun side gig but pays basically nothing.
by Anonymous8 months ago
....or feared.
by Anonymous8 months ago
> Clowns should be respected
No! We draw a line somewhere. I'm all for respecting, bit someone's gotta be disrespected or else respect loses all meaning.
Medieval jesters existed for that reason, and that's that.
by Anonymous8 months ago
sex work is legitimate work (in the eyes of the law as well where I live), and there's plenty of nasty names for that.
by Anonymous8 months ago
How dare you not be american
by Anonymous8 months ago
I am American, I just don't live there right now ;). Blessings of a Dual Citizen
by Anonymous8 months ago
*American after 1910
by Anonymous8 months ago
I was just gonna say "asshole licker" is good work if you can find it. Allegedly.
by Anonymous8 months ago
I mean, I'm pretty good at it but I've never gotten *paid...*
by Anonymous8 months ago
Private investigators used to be called "Dicks".
by Anonymous8 months ago
Wish you told me that before I ran away with the circus….
[sad nose honk]
by Anonymous8 months ago
Sex work started at the dawn of humanity. How much more legit can you get.
by Anonymous8 months ago
You goddamn fluffer!
by Anonymous8 months ago
Your mom's not THAT old.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Sure about that princess?
by Anonymous8 months ago
I think princess is more of a title than a profession.
by Anonymous8 months ago
"Politician"
"Comedian"
by Anonymous8 months ago
Lawyer
by Anonymous8 months ago
*Kill the lawyer!!*
(Reference to the 90's film *Hook* in case you don't get it)
by Anonymous8 months ago
Prostitute is also a legit profession here in Germany, and also an insult.
by Anonymous8 months ago
According to the MW2 (the good one from 2009) lobbies, it's also a synonym for most peoples mothers
by Anonymous8 months ago
Butcher, used car salesman, and narc come to mind.
by Anonymous8 months ago
What about a butcher? "You really butchered that job."
by Anonymous8 months ago
Which is a slightly ironic insult given that the point of a butcher is that they do have the skills to chop things up in specific ways to give you nice cuts of meat. Not just anyone off the street can do that.
But it often gets imagines as some big dude with a cleaver just hacking through stuff.
by Anonymous8 months ago
I feel the same way about "Dont judge a book by it's cover"
That statement must really irk book cover artists. Their whole job is to make an image to captivate you and get you interested in what this books gonna be about.
by Anonymous8 months ago
The point of the "butcher" insult is that the animal doesn't survive the process.
When you butcher a plan, the plan is metaphorically the cow, not the steak. The implication being that the thing you butchered isn't even close to its original, natural state anymore
by Anonymous8 months ago
Calling someone a cop or even saying "you look like a cop" is an insult too
by Anonymous8 months ago
Frankly, I'm surprised I had to scroll this far to find cop.
by Anonymous8 months ago
In England, if you put "Absolute" in front of literally anything, you've got yourself an insult!!
You absolute coat hanger!!
You absolute flannel!
You absolute Gazebo.....
The more bizarre, the better!! 🤟 haha
by Anonymous8 months ago
Cowboy?
Or maybe that's UK specific.
by Anonymous8 months ago
In America I'm not sure I'd ever quite say cowboy is an out and out insult, but depending on context it might be used to indicate you think someone is being overly reckless or impulsive.
by Anonymous8 months ago
\> it might be used to indicate you think someone is being overly reckless or impulsive.
That's pretty much the origin of the term in the UK. It's for builders who don't follow building codes and maybe cheat you. Like it's the wild west or something.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Referring to someone as a "used car salesman" is generally intended to be a pejorative.
by Anonymous8 months ago
It's not though, is it? There are plenty of other professionals that can also be used as a insult.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Merchant banker is cockney rhyming slang for an insult.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Whoring is allegedly the world's oldest profession.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Clearly someone's never been called a Nerfherder before. Much less a scruffy looking one
by Anonymous8 months ago
You're such a politician is definitely an insult.
by Anonymous8 months ago
second fiddle
dictator
narc
by Anonymous8 months ago
Is whoring not a legitimate profession?
by Anonymous8 months ago
"Carpet salesman" is an insult in French.
by Anonymous8 months ago
I dunno... I've been referring to many these past several years as muppets...
by Anonymous8 months ago
Ah yes. When I grow up I aspire to be employed as a muppet.
by Anonymous8 months ago
What is the average starting salary for a muppet these days?
by Anonymous8 months ago
Insurance salesperson.
"If you don't improve at your job soon, you'll be selling insurance!"
The horror.
by Anonymous8 months ago
"You don't act like a scientist. You're more like a gameshow host." -- Dana Barrett, Ghostbusters
by Anonymous8 months ago
A police officer with all respect to actual pigs
by Anonymous8 months ago
Hooker. The legitimate profession here will be a Rugby position.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Perhaps prostitute or politician.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Rocket scientist (aerospace engineer) and brain surgeon are used in insults all the time, and cowboy and car salesman are used as insults as well. Garbage man is used as a warning too.
Also, sex work is legitimate.
by Anonymous8 months ago
No one who says "rocket scientist" or "brain surgeon" is using those terms as insults. When people use those terms, it's to imply something negative about whatever they're being compared to.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Pretty sure "butcher" can be used as an insult.
A necessary field that's relentlessly demonized for no reason.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Pretty sure being OP's mother is also a prosession that also an insult.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Everything can be an insult, if pronounced correctly
by Anonymous8 months ago
The Joker taught me to be nice to clowns
by Anonymous8 months ago
We call particularly less skilled or careless people in my line of work butchers.
by Anonymous8 months ago
It isn't particularly good when high ranking military officials are called butchers.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Casually leaving out worlds oldest profession.
by Anonymous8 months ago
Being called a sex worker has been used as an insult for as long as society had existed. Hoe have you missed this?
by Anonymous8 months ago
I think calling someone a hooker is still an insult as well
by Anonymous8 months ago
Toilet cleaner
Telephone sanitiser
Cattle masturbator (yes, this is a job)
politician
prostitute
by Anonymous8 months ago
If you call someone a cattle masturbator, you just set yourself up for a "your mom" joke.
by Anonymous8 months ago
In French there's an expression "*Mentir comme un arracheur de dents*" (To lie like a teeth puller), pro a referencing when dentists used to say "it won't hurt" but then it did. I know a few dentists who get offended when it is used in political discourse.
by Anonymous8 months ago
With the right tone of voice almost * any* profession can become a slur
by Anonymous8 months ago
I don't know, ‘Politician' is a pretty big insult
by Anonymous8 months ago
Depending where you are this is also true of prostitutes
by Anonymous8 months ago
Depending on your opinion of this job, politician is also used as an insult
by Anonymous8 months ago
So when we call your mom a prostitute you wouldn't be offended?
by Anonymous8 months ago
Feminist philosophers might like to have a word with you
by Anonymous8 months ago
Not true: republican politician
by Anonymous8 months ago
Nah, prostitution is another one
by Anonymous8 months ago
Get outta here, you fluffer!
Fluffer's a real job, right?
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