+144 Clown is the only legitimate profession that's also an insult. amirite?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

People who actually package fudge have probably had to change their job title.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

No shame in being a confectionary distribution engineer.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

It's 2023, ain't nothin wrong with packing a little fudge

by Anonymous 6 months ago

That's what she said

by Anonymous 6 months ago

confectionary distribution *technician*

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Technician*. Engineers are the ones who sit in their office and tell those ~~fudge packers~~ confectionary distribution technicians, how to pack it.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Shout out to the Uranus Fudge Factory in Missouri. The best fudge comes from Uranus!

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Looking at you Tom Cruise

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Wiener smokers too

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Need this one explained for my simple head

by Anonymous 6 months ago

A fudge packer is a derogatory term for homosexual men, and was commonly used as an insult to imply someone was homosexual. It has become less commonly used recently as implying homosexuality as an insult has become less socially acceptable in general, but it is definitely still used by some people.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

You sayin' nerf herders ain't legit?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Scruffy ones arent

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Who's scruffy looking??

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I'm Scruffy. The janitor.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I've never seen you before.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Garbage man? In school in the 90s calling some kids dad a bin man was a common insult. Also now evolved to as meaning a drug dealer.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

"Did you put the bin out for the bin guy? It's all I'll ask. " - Brett Domino

by Anonymous 6 months ago

The Brett Domino **Trio**, don't forget, there are two of them

by Anonymous 6 months ago

She…. She had one job. She ran the Old Dog (the pub)

by Anonymous 6 months ago

But not now she not! Why? Coz she too hot. (She fit)

by Anonymous 6 months ago

But bin men get sad

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Hello mate. Where's ya bin? > I bin on holiday. Nah, mate. Where's ya *wheelie* bin? > I *wheelie* bin on holiday.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

> Garbage man I think "garbage man" and "pick-up artist" are labels that we all have backward.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Yer da sells Avon

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Hahahaha, classic

by Anonymous 6 months ago

In my country with high unemployment, garbage collection is a desired job

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I hope not! That's what I tell people I do for a living at parties, because if they find out I'm a network engineer I'll spend the rest of the night answering "Why won't my Windows update install? Do I need a bigger hard drive? My kid's play Minecraft and the screen drags..."

by Anonymous 6 months ago

As somewhat of a network engineer myself, just wanna ask. You get invited to parties?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Somewhat? You either is or you ain't!

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Or you was but you isn't but they think you do so you do despite being not one but you is cause you always is and maybe always was.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I somehow understood all of that. Valid point.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

The coolest moment of my life was during a time when I was assigned to collect the garbage from the classroom in 7th grade. A girl called my a garbage man and I (for the only time in my life) without hesitation said "yeah but you're trash" Still think about that

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I know you are but what am I? A garbage man!

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Takes one to know one

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Ooooooh

by Anonymous 6 months ago

This is what I came here for.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Wherever garbage collectors are part of the municipal public service union, it's probably a decent job.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Try using that as an insult now a days. In some places they make more cash than some dual income households.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I'm the Trashman! I get in there and I throw trash all over the all over the ring!

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Depending where you are, a garbage man (or sanitation engineer) is a well compensated position, usually with benefits, pension and PTO and is a respectable (albeit dirty) profession. Garbagemen also are more beneficial to society than most (if not all) politicians

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Most if not all other professions

by Anonymous 6 months ago

That was before we learned how much money they make

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Used car salesman. Gotcha.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Okay ditch digger

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I see why OP added "legitimate"

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Depends on where you live. Certain places are famous for a wider range of, ahem, "legitimacy" than others.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

But... It's the world's oldest profession!

by Anonymous 6 months ago

No, that would be midwifery.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Thank you for saying this.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

By adding legit, he has just insulted every other profession that would fit.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Sex work is real work.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Agreed, but "legitimate" means "conforming to the law or rules" (Oxford Dictionary). Similar definition in other dictionaries.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

It's legal in plenty of places, as it should be.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

No it shouldn't. It should be legal in all places.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Unless you're British, then everything can be used as an insult. "You absolute plumber." "You total dentist." "What are ya? A complete quantity surveyor, that's what you are!"

by Anonymous 6 months ago

"Never met such a Project Manager in my life" Being British and working in IT, that's a legit insult

by Anonymous 6 months ago

"Lawyer" can also be used in this capacity. i.e. "don't lawyer me on this minor inconvenience"

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Ouch. Ooohh that one stings

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Being not British and working in IT, that's universal insult.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Should be an insult every where.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

They were Australian I think, but at a bar they said to my friend (US), ‘you're a total weapon' and smiled. He took it as a compliment. Someone had to explain that they were calling him a tool.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

My buddies family is from NZ and when they took his older brother there they asked if he "drank piss." He was like "wtfff??" And then it was explained that they meant beer

by Anonymous 6 months ago

This would usually be a compliment in Australia.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Usually meaning someone is especially good or skilled at something, or can fight.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Complement in the UK also, it means dangerous, usually for members of the opposite sex, I.e. attractive.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Looks like you forgot your ticket to the ... *flexes arms*.. Gun show.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Probably Scottish

by Anonymous 6 months ago

You are a complete Doctor of Neurosurgery, drink ya pint.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

We've got a brain surgeon over here.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

What do you do? Rocket science?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Estate agent

by Anonymous 6 months ago

We don't accept that sort of language in this house

by Anonymous 6 months ago

What about in a 3 bed terrace with real potential and an avocado suite?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I never got why being called a Muppet was so bad. Everyone loves the Muppets.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

It's not about the muppet itself, but about the hand.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Oh the Muppets are awesome. I have been a fan literally my whole life, since my Mum used to let me stay up late when I was like 3-4 years old just so we could watch the Muppet Show together. So yeah, the Muppets are great, but I wouldn't let any of them operate an electric can opener without adult supervision. I wouldn't give them a list of chores and trust them to get anything done without wrecking the place. The term "Muppet" just suits some people.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I don't know. I'd trust Kermit more than most people in this world. And Miss Piggy seems pretty capable if you don't mind getting smacked in the face. Maybe keep Kermit away from the phone. Never know who might be calling.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

You sound like a merchant banker mate

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Look at mr. Rocket Scientist over here trying to make a funny

by Anonymous 6 months ago

>British >dentist used as an insult >hmmm

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Came to say this! English insults are great You spanner. You trolley. You half-price yoghurt.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Down at the vineyard, my grandad spent many years as a cork soaker.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

> cork soaker. I don't think you can just say that. Not with the hard R

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Cork Soaka?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

One of the best SNL skits ever

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Being a clown requires a combination of acrobatics, juggling, magic, and stand-up comedy. Most everyone you know would not make it through clown college. Clowns should be respected.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Clowns have feelings too! *shows picture of sad clown*

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Also hungry for the children of Derry

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Ah, that reminds me... Do you have Prince Albert in a can?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

In fact, it's the It profession there

by Anonymous 6 months ago

But doctor I am Pagliacci!

by Anonymous 6 months ago

If I recall correctly the Ringling Bros.Clown College had a lower acceptance rate than Harvard and Yale. It's not that getting through CC is hard, but even getting accepted was.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Seriously though, clowning is no joke

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Sure thing ya clown

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Honk honk

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Next you're going to say magicians as well.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I wouldn't mess with them. I saw one saw a woman in half.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

"We demand to be taken seriously."

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I know someone who went to clown college. They work at a bank.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Sometimes you just want to run away from the circus to join a financial institution

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I went to clown school. It's a fun side gig but pays basically nothing.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

....or feared.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

> Clowns should be respected No! We draw a line somewhere. I'm all for respecting, bit someone's gotta be disrespected or else respect loses all meaning. Medieval jesters existed for that reason, and that's that.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

sex work is legitimate work (in the eyes of the law as well where I live), and there's plenty of nasty names for that.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

How dare you not be american

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I am American, I just don't live there right now ;). Blessings of a Dual Citizen

by Anonymous 6 months ago

*American after 1910

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I was just gonna say "asshole licker" is good work if you can find it. Allegedly.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I mean, I'm pretty good at it but I've never gotten *paid...*

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Private investigators used to be called "Dicks".

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Wish you told me that before I ran away with the circus…. [sad nose honk]

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Sex work started at the dawn of humanity. How much more legit can you get.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

You goddamn fluffer!

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Your mom's not THAT old.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Sure about that princess?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I think princess is more of a title than a profession.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

"Politician" "Comedian"

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Lawyer

by Anonymous 6 months ago

*Kill the lawyer!!* (Reference to the 90's film *Hook* in case you don't get it)

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Prostitute is also a legit profession here in Germany, and also an insult.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

According to the MW2 (the good one from 2009) lobbies, it's also a synonym for most peoples mothers

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Butcher, used car salesman, and narc come to mind.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

What about a butcher? "You really butchered that job."

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Which is a slightly ironic insult given that the point of a butcher is that they do have the skills to chop things up in specific ways to give you nice cuts of meat. Not just anyone off the street can do that. But it often gets imagines as some big dude with a cleaver just hacking through stuff.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I feel the same way about "Dont judge a book by it's cover" That statement must really irk book cover artists. Their whole job is to make an image to captivate you and get you interested in what this books gonna be about.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

The point of the "butcher" insult is that the animal doesn't survive the process. When you butcher a plan, the plan is metaphorically the cow, not the steak. The implication being that the thing you butchered isn't even close to its original, natural state anymore

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Calling someone a cop or even saying "you look like a cop" is an insult too

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Frankly, I'm surprised I had to scroll this far to find cop.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

In England, if you put "Absolute" in front of literally anything, you've got yourself an insult!! You absolute coat hanger!! You absolute flannel! You absolute Gazebo..... The more bizarre, the better!! 🤟 haha

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Cowboy? Or maybe that's UK specific.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

In America I'm not sure I'd ever quite say cowboy is an out and out insult, but depending on context it might be used to indicate you think someone is being overly reckless or impulsive.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

\> it might be used to indicate you think someone is being overly reckless or impulsive. That's pretty much the origin of the term in the UK. It's for builders who don't follow building codes and maybe cheat you. Like it's the wild west or something.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Referring to someone as a "used car salesman" is generally intended to be a pejorative.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

It's not though, is it? There are plenty of other professionals that can also be used as a insult.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Merchant banker is cockney rhyming slang for an insult.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Whoring is allegedly the world's oldest profession.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Clearly someone's never been called a Nerfherder before. Much less a scruffy looking one

by Anonymous 6 months ago

You're such a politician is definitely an insult.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

second fiddle dictator narc

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Is whoring not a legitimate profession?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

"Carpet salesman" is an insult in French.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I dunno... I've been referring to many these past several years as muppets...

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Ah yes. When I grow up I aspire to be employed as a muppet.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

What is the average starting salary for a muppet these days?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Insurance salesperson. "If you don't improve at your job soon, you'll be selling insurance!" The horror.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

"You don't act like a scientist. You're more like a gameshow host." -- Dana Barrett, Ghostbusters

by Anonymous 6 months ago

A police officer with all respect to actual pigs

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Hooker. The legitimate profession here will be a Rugby position.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Perhaps prostitute or politician.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Rocket scientist (aerospace engineer) and brain surgeon are used in insults all the time, and cowboy and car salesman are used as insults as well. Garbage man is used as a warning too. Also, sex work is legitimate.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

No one who says "rocket scientist" or "brain surgeon" is using those terms as insults. When people use those terms, it's to imply something negative about whatever they're being compared to.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Pretty sure "butcher" can be used as an insult. A necessary field that's relentlessly demonized for no reason.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Pretty sure being OP's mother is also a prosession that also an insult.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Everything can be an insult, if pronounced correctly

by Anonymous 6 months ago

The Joker taught me to be nice to clowns

by Anonymous 6 months ago

We call particularly less skilled or careless people in my line of work butchers.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

It isn't particularly good when high ranking military officials are called butchers.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Casually leaving out worlds oldest profession.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Being called a sex worker has been used as an insult for as long as society had existed. Hoe have you missed this?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I think calling someone a hooker is still an insult as well

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Toilet cleaner Telephone sanitiser Cattle masturbator (yes, this is a job) politician prostitute

by Anonymous 6 months ago

If you call someone a cattle masturbator, you just set yourself up for a "your mom" joke.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

In French there's an expression "*Mentir comme un arracheur de dents*" (To lie like a teeth puller), pro a referencing when dentists used to say "it won't hurt" but then it did. I know a few dentists who get offended when it is used in political discourse.

by Anonymous 6 months ago

With the right tone of voice almost * any* profession can become a slur

by Anonymous 6 months ago

I don't know, ‘Politician' is a pretty big insult

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Depending where you are this is also true of prostitutes

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Depending on your opinion of this job, politician is also used as an insult

by Anonymous 6 months ago

So when we call your mom a prostitute you wouldn't be offended?

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Feminist philosophers might like to have a word with you

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Not true: republican politician

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Nah, prostitution is another one

by Anonymous 6 months ago

Get outta here, you fluffer! Fluffer's a real job, right?

by Anonymous 6 months ago